


To Be Kind Is To Be Good

by lawlietandorder



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: And Eren Jaeger, Angst, Biphobia, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Cult, Homophobia, M/M, Mystery, Past Child Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Slow Build, background Armin Arlert/Erwin Smith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-02-28 12:31:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 92,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13271520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lawlietandorder/pseuds/lawlietandorder
Summary: "That's just the way Eren is," Armin said, but Levi didn't buy it. No one was happy all the time. And then there was this weird feeling he got every time he saw Eren. Something was...wrong with him.After moving to Shiganshina Levi meets Eren, a 19 year old guy who never seems to stop smiling. Simply annoyed by him at first he soon notices that he isn't who he appears to be. Instead of ignoring his odd behaviour Levi decides to start investigating and finds that the mystery of Eren Jaeger is more complex than he had initially thought.





	1. A New Home

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction is "inspired" by a cult that exists close to my hometown. I have changed some things for reasons I do not wish to state.  
> I do not necessarily share the opinions of certain characters.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, at least the house was nice.

“I hate this.”

“Levi, you hate everything,” Erwin replied, turning the car engine off. With a sigh he turned to face him, face set in its ever constant serious expression. “I know that this is not what you want. I get it, but this is happening and no amount of bitching is going to change that.”

“I’m not bitching,” Levi crossed his arms and stared straight ahead, not giving a damn how childish the action must look to Erwin. Right now he couldn’t give less of a fuck. This was all his fault anyway.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw his friend roll his eyes. “If you think this is going to change my mind you’re very wrong. Now get out of the car and get your stuff.”

Levi was ready to deliver a biting comment, but Erwin had already left the car. He got out of his seat and slammed the door behind him, applying more force than necessary which earned him a warning look from Erwin. Maybe he was being a little harsh, taking all of his frustration out on him. On the other hand, he didn’t really care. Well, maybe a bit.

“At least the house is nice,” Erwin tried to cheer him up and made Levi wonder for the hundredth time in his life how he put up with him. If he were in Erwin’s shoes he would’ve smacked him a couple of times already.

Deciding to give his friend a bit of a break he nodded. “It is.” Erwin smiled.

Leave it to Erwin to rent an entire house for them. Sometimes he was so extra. Part of him tried to imagine what this must look like to outsiders. Two men in their late twenties moving into a house together, standing next to each other while one was smiling like an idiot. Levi wanted to gag at the thought.

“Well, let’s get inside.” Erwin unlocked the front door and starting putting their stuff into the house, smirking when Levi struggled with a box that was far too large for him. “Want me to help?”

“Fuck off,” Levi grumbled, managing to drag the box into the living room. He heard Erwin laugh as he went outside to get the rest of their belongings. Bastard.

They started to unpack the most important boxes after everything was inside and Levi realised that this was really happening. He was really moving into this town. A month ago he would’ve laughed at the idea of moving away from Trost and now here he was. Funny how life had decided to fuck him over. Again. At least he wasn’t alone. Levi glanced at Erwin who was busy putting his books away. Although he wouldn’t tell him, he was incredibly grateful that his only friend was with him. Erwin had quit his job just to move away with him. Thinking about it made his stomach feel heavy with guilt.

“Why are you looking so glum?” Erwin suddenly asked and Levi looked up.

“That’s what I always look like.”

“I guess that’s true,” he said, filling the bookshelf with the last of his books. “But I meant that you look even more glum. What are you thinking about?”

Levi sat down on the sofa. “You know, you didn’t have to do this.”

“This?”

“Quitting your job, moving away. You basically left your life behind. That was really idiotic,” Levi mumbled.

“I guess it was. I really liked my job,” Erwin responded and Levi huffed.

“Do you want me to have a bad conscience?”

Erwin smiled. “I thought you didn’t possess this kind of thing,” he said, causing Levi to glare at him. “But I think we both know I couldn’t let you leave on your own. Without anyone keeping you in check who knows what you’d do.”

“I’m not a kid. I’m 29, Erwin,” Levi replied.

“True, but you’re my friend. I wasn’t going to leave you on your own, even though you told me about a thousand times that you don’t want me to move away with you. Besides, living in a small town might be fun. Think of all the new friends you can make,” Erwin smiled knowingly and Levi groaned.

“God, I hate you.”

“I know.”

 

* * *

 

“I’ll get going then.” Erwin put his plate next to the sink, knowing Levi wouldn’t be satisfied if he cleaned it himself.

“Another boring office job, huh,” Levi commented and Erwin nodded. “Yes. I like boring office jobs. They pay well.”

“Only because you’re in a high position. Anyway, at least one of us is successful.”

Before moving to Shiganshina Levi had applied for a couple of jobs, not really having a preference. He used to work as a cashier at an erotic shop, something Erwin had endlessly teased him about. He was surprised he hadn’t mentioned it.

“Well, you could always be successful at another sex shop.”

There it was.

“You’re so funny. Truly hilarious,” Levi said dryly. “No sex shop this time. I got a job at a small bakery in town. The pay isn’t too bad. Can’t complain.”

“Be sure not to scare the customers this time,” Erwin joked and looked at the time. “I really do need to get going. I’ll be back at around five.”

Levi nodded and watched Erwin leave.

Was he truly not bothered by their situation? He was also surprised that Erwin hadn’t said anything about it so far. Levi liked that about him. Erwin didn’t force him to talk when he didn’t want to.

Deciding that spending the whole day inside would be boring as hell, Levi cleaned their plates and left the house. He was going to spend… Well, he didn’t know how long he was going to stay in this town, but he might as well explore it a bit. He chose to walk the way to his future workplace which wasn’t that far from their house. By foot it took him about ten minutes. After living all of his life in Trost, walking through Shiganshina almost felt like a bit of culture shock. Where Trost was busy and loud, Shiganshina was quiet, traffic flowed smoothly and there weren’t a bunch of tourists at every corner of the street. It was…nice. Nicer than he had expected. This didn’t mean that it was better than Trost. Trost would always be his home.

“Ah, sorry, could you please move? I’m late for my shift…”

Levi had been so lost in thought that he hadn’t noticed he was blocking the way into the bakery. He stepped aside and looked at the boy. He worked here? This kid didn’t look older than sixteen.

“Thank you.” The boy(?) said and quickly walked inside. He was going to work here? Did they allow child labour in this town? Jesus Christ.

A few seconds after the boy had entered the bakery Levi followed, thinking he might as well check this place out before he started working here tomorrow. As soon as he was inside the comforting smell of various baked goods hit him. The bakery was indeed small with only few seats available. It seemed like most people took their pastries back home or to work.

Levi walked up to where the baked goods were displayed behind glass. He’d always liked sweet things. In his childhood he didn’t eat sweets a lot and once such things were available to him he at first went a bit overboard, but had since adopted a more normal eating behaviour.

“Hello! How can I help you?”

A woman was smiling at him, pushing her glasses up her nose. Her brown hair was pulled back into a high ponytail. She looked cheerful, full of energy and Levi hoped he would never have a shift with her.

“Actually, I’m going to start working here tomorrow,” he replied and cringed when the smile on her face grew even wider.

“You’re Levi! I’m Hanji Zoe, the owner of Sawney and Bean’s! I’m so glad that you’re going to work here. I’ve been really having trouble finding someone.”

She was the owner? There went all of his hopes of not having to associate much with her. Oh well. She was going to pay him. He might as well try to not anger her or insult her. For now.

“Yeah. I was just checking this place out. It’s nice.”

Her eyes lit up when he complimented her bakery. “It is, isn’t it? You’ll like working here, I can tell. I bet-”

“I’m so sorry I’m late! I promise it’s not going to happen again!”

The boy Levi had met before emerged from the staff room, wearing a green apron.

“It’s alright, Armin. You’re only five minutes late. This is the first time it has happened anyway. But I wonder why you’re not on time. Usually you’re ten minutes early.”

The blond boy sighed. “My grandpa had some problems, but it’s okay now. Sorry again.”

“Everything’s fine. Oh, right! Armin, this is Levi. He’s going to start working here tomorrow!” she said excitedly and Armin looked at him surprised.

“Oh, it’s nice to meet you. I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been working overtime for a while now.”

“How old are you?” Levi asked curiously.

The question clearly caught Armin off guard. “Uhm, I’m nineteen. I’m at university.”

“Hm. I thought you were fifteen or sixteen.”

“Fifteen? Do I…look that young?” Armin mumbled.

He was going to have to work with this kid? Dear God, life truly was cruel. This kid – technically an adult, but to him he was still a kid – didn’t have any backbone, did he? Levi didn’t get along with people like that, never had, never will. But maybe he was wrong. First impressions could be deceiving after all.

“You don’t, Armin. You look like a young adult to me,” Hanji assured him.

“I suppose there are other people working here, too,” Levi asked Hanji while Armin was busy with a customer that entered the bakery.

She nodded. “Yes of course. There’s also Marco, Annie and Jean. And me of course. They’re all at university, though and so it was difficult to arrange the shifts and everything.”

“Wait. They’re all at university?” His future colleagues were all...kids? Alright, not really kids, but still.

“Yup. They’re all pretty good. I just really needed someone who had more time to work, so you’re going to be my number one man from now on,” she smiled. “And I can finally relax a little. These past few weeks were crazy.”

“I’m going to be surrounded by kids,” he muttered in dismay, but she still heard him.

“Ah don’t be like that. How old are you, 22?”

“I’m 29.”

“Oh. Wow, you look really young! And here you were saying Armin didn’t look his age,” she laughed, smiling at him again. “Look at it that way. Being around young people keeps oneself young!”

He stared at her, not amused at all, but this only made her laugh.

“I really like you, Levi. You’re perfect for this job. We’re going to get along just fine.”


	2. First Impression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What a nice fake smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to publish the second chapter, too, because the first one was just the basic introduction and you don't actually get to see Eren.

The next few days were…interesting. Levi’s first shift at Sawney and Bean’s was with Marco. The freckled kid was quiet at first, but eventually tried to talk to Levi, most likely wanting him to feel welcome or some shit. Levi decided to go easy on the kid and talked with him for a bit, but Marco seemed to pick up on the fact that he wasn’t one for talking and only occasionally said something. He didn’t seem to be upset about it though. He appeared to be a genuinely good guy and Levi refrained from being too harsh on him. It was his first work day after all.

Marco wasn’t so bad.

Jean…Jean was a nightmare to work with. Maybe he was being a bit too harsh. Jean actually did his work quite well. He was nice to the customers and quick, but they didn’t get along. At all. Throughout the whole shift Levi wanted to punch the guy in the face. Jean was disrespectful and rude to him and never seemed to shut up. Levi hadn’t even done anything to make him react this way yet, so he assumed Jean was just an arsehole. He couldn’t stand him. His arrogant nature, his stupid haircut, his ability to push all his buttons. Everything about this guy pissed him off.

Working with Jean was torture.

He had another shift with Marco before he got to work with Annie. He liked her the most. She didn’t even try to hold a full conversation with him and he appreciated that. It was probably because she hated him, but he could live with that. Most people hated him.

Erwin seemed to be satisfied with his new job, even though it kept him quite busy. He was a workaholic anyway and didn’t seem to mind, maybe even appreciated the long work hours so he didn’t have to spend even more time with Levi.

Living together was proving to be a challenge. Erwin was useless at cleaning up after himself and although Levi constantly berated him Erwin still didn’t clean more thoroughly. The bastard was most likely enjoying riling him up.

Cooking was something both of them weren’t very proficient in. Usually they would just order take-out if they were staying at the other’s place, but Shiganshina didn’t have any decent business which offered such a service. They could only order pizza at a small pizzeria. However, they couldn’t survive on that stuff forever and so they tried to learn some new recipes. This task was proving to be rather challenging.

Life in Shiganshina was moving forward and Levi was so busy with his new work, exploring the new town and trying to stay sane while he lived with Erwin that he didn’t think too much about Trost.

After two weeks Levi had his first shift with Armin, who looked rather nervous about the prospect of working with him.

“Oi, I’m not going to bite your head off, kid,” Levi told him after putting money into the register. “You look like you’re going to piss yourself.”

Armin looked over at him. “I’m not going to- I’m not scared of you,” he replied, worrying his lower lip. “I’ve been anxious about you interacting with customers, that’s all.”

“Hm?” Levi crossed his arms and stared up at him, only now noticing he was slightly taller. Damn. “Why?”

“Because you’re not very friendly.”

The kid had some guts after all. Normally people didn’t say that to him without nearly shitting themselves, but Armin looked quite composed all of a sudden.

“I’m not, but this is my job and I’m going to do it well. Besides, I’ve been a cashier at a shop before.”

“Really? What kind of shop?”

Levi smirked. “A sex shop.”

“A what?” Armin asked shocked, blue eyes widening almost comically. “Seriou-”

“Hey Armin!”

Both of them turned towards the door, seeing a brown-haired guy enter Sawney and Bean’s. He was smartly dressed, the dark grey button down shirt he wore without any wrinkles and only his messy hair kind of ruined the overall clean look. Armin started to smile.

“You’re finally back! How was the trip?” he asked him, the conversation with Levi forgotten.

Armin’s friend smiled widely. “It was great! At first I was kind of worried, but it ended up being very interesting and a ton of fun,” he told him before his gaze shifted to Levi.

“Who’s that? Is he new?”

Levi rolled his eyes at the dumb question. “If you haven’t seen me before I must be.”

“Ah, that’s Levi. He started working here two weeks ago, right after you left,” Armin explained and his friend smiled again, extending his arm.

“I’m Eren. It’s nice to meet you,” he said and Levi realised he expected him to shake his hand. He’d rather not. Who knows where that hand had been before. And who even did that these days?

Apparently the kid – Eren – understood that he wasn’t going to return the gesture and lowered his arm. Thank God. Levi thought that he looked angry for a second, but no, Eren was still smiling. He had expected him to be angry. Most people were when they realised he didn’t give a shit about them.

“A-anyway,” Armin said awkwardly, “does that mean your dad is also back in town? People have been asking for him.”

The other boy nodded, shifting his attention to his friend again. “He started working again today. Which reminds me, I need to do some shopping. But before that I’ll take one of your Sachertorten,” he pointed at the chocolate cake.

Armin chuckled, “I swear, we just have them because of you. I don’t even want to know how many pieces you eat every month.”

“I can’t help it. They’re just too good,” Eren smiled and Armin bagged the treat for him, then took his money. “Eren, you gave me too much money again.”

Eren shrugged, “Keep it. You need it more than I do. I’m not a poor university student who lives off of frozen food and cup noodles,” he teased him and took the bag. “I’ll call you later, alright? I really have to get going now.” He smiled at Armin and to Levi’s surprise at him, too. “Bye! Have a nice day!” he waved and turned around to leave the bakery, tripping over his own feet and crashing into a woman who was just entering. They both managed not to fall and the kid apologised profusely, asking her if she was alright and after she assured him that was the case he apologised again before finally leaving.

Armin was laughing at the scene and even Levi couldn’t help but chuckle. That kid was an idiot.

“Your friend is awfully nice. It’s kind of sickening,” he commented after he had brought a slice of cake and a cup of coffee to the woman who had chosen to eat here.

“That’s just the way Eren is. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him not in a good mood or without a smile for anyone,” Armin said.

“No one is always happy,” Levi scoffed and cleaned the glass protecting the pastries.

“Eren is,” he replied before talking to another customer. Yeah, right. As if anyone was constantly in a good mood.

 

* * *

 

“Just my luck,” Levi grumbled when he spotted him in the next aisle, hoping that he wouldn’t notice him. He knew without a doubt that if the kid saw him he’d try to strike up a conversation. He quickly decided that he was done shopping and swiftly walked to the checkout, internally groaning when the queue was rather long, even on the other side.

_Why the hell did everyone decide to shop now?_

“Oh it’s you!”

_Fuck._

Cursing his luck Levi turned around to face Armin’s friend who was smiling at him.

“I guess it is.”

“The world is small, isn’t it? We meet again,” Eren said and Levi rolled his eyes.

“This town is small. This is the only decent supermarket here. We were bound to meet here sooner or later,” Levi told him, wondering why this guy was even talking to him. They didn’t know each other.

Eren’s smile slightly wavered, but didn’t disappear. “It’s still a happy coincidence.”

“Happy…” Levi said under his breath.

“Anyway, do you like working at the bakery?” he was asked and wondered why he still felt the need to talk. Levi was sure that right now he looked pissed off. Was this kid just dumb?

“Could be worse.”

For the first time Eren looked slightly uncomfortable, smile disappearing and Levi noticed his eyes, which were an unusually bright shade of green. Freaky.

“Armin told me that you’re the only person working there who isn’t at university. Well, besides Ms. Zoe.”

Ms. Zoe? Hanji truly wasn’t a person who deserved to be referred to this politely. So far Levi had decided she was batshit insane.

“Armin sure likes to talk,” he replied and cursed himself for even responding. Now this kid was going to think he wanted to continue the conversation.

Eren nodded. “We talk about all kinds of stuff. When I first saw you I thought you must be at university, all of my friends are.”

“I finished university already. I’m 29.”

“Really? You look a lot younger.”

The queue moved a bit and Levi hoped to God that he could escape soon. Why was this kid still talking to him?

“I’ve never seen you here before. Did you move here recently?” Eren asked and Levi couldn’t take this any longer. If he didn’t do something now Eren would never stop talking and might even think they were going to be friends or some stupid shit.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business, kid,” he replied. “I don’t know you, you don’t know me. I honestly don’t understand why you’re even talking to me right now. Can’t you see that I have no desire to chit-chat?”

Thinking that the conversation was over Levi allowed himself to relax and started to turn around, before halting when Eren decided to speak up.

“Well, we kind of know each other. I just want to know more about you.”

_For fuck’s sake._

Levi was glaring at him now, having had enough of this kid.

“Just shut up and leave me alone.”

Those words finally had an effect on him. He saw Eren tense up, saw him now glaring back at him before the tension left his body again and the smile was back on his face. “Alright then.”

Silence.

_What the fuck is wrong with this kid?_

Levi was finally at the front of the queue and while the cashier scanned his items he got the feeling that something was wrong. No one reacted like that. He was sure the guy was going to get angry, he _had_ gotten angry, but then had just started smiling again. He didn’t like to admit it, but he was slightly freaked out. Hadn’t Eren started to look pissed off? So why had he then smiled at him?

He paid and put his groceries into his bag, hearing Eren and the cashier talk to each other like they’ve known one another for a while.

“Did your father send you again?” she asked Eren who nodded and smiled. Always smiling.

“Yup. You know how he is, always busy,” he replied.

Levi took the full bag and walked out of the supermarket, hearing Eren say goodbye to him.

He kept on walking.

 

* * *

 

“Your friend is annoying,” Levi said when Armin walked into Sawney and Bean’s to start his shift the next day. The blond looked at him confused before walking into the staff room, quickly putting his things into his locker and emerging with his apron on.

“Do you mean Eren?”

Levi rolled his eyes at the question. “Who else?”

Armin frowned and walked up to the counter. “Is it because he’s nice?”

“No, it’s because he never shuts up.”

After the supermarket incident Levi had spent some more time at home thinking about it, maybe more time than strictly necessary. But he couldn’t shake off the weird feeling he had gotten. He was sure that something wasn’t right with Eren. Maybe he was a psychopath. That seemed like a reasonable explanation.

“I assume that you met him somewhere then,” Armin replied. “That’s just the way Eren is. He always strikes up a conversation with people.”

“It’s annoying. I can’t stand his fake smile either.”

“Eren’s smile isn’t fake.” Armin sounded upset now. Good. At least someone had actual emotions.

“It’s about as fake as it gets.”

“I don’t know what your problem is, but Eren’s my friend.” Maybe Armin would look more intimidating if he didn’t look like he was still in high school. “I’m not going to let you insult him like that. At least he’s trying to be nice to you.”

“I never asked him to be nice,” Levi said and suddenly heard someone laugh. He knew that laugh.

“Levi, I thought I told you to make some friends.”

Erwin shook his head and looked at Armin. “I’m sorry if he comes off as rude. Deep down he’s a nice guy. Very deep down.” Levi snorted and looked away.

“I’ve yet to see that,” Armin mumbled and Erwin laughed again.

“It takes some time. I’m Erwin Smith,” he introduced himself and Armin smiled at him.

“Armin Arlert. I suppose you’re Levi’s friend?”

“I am. So Levi, this is where you work then?” Erwin asked him and Levi sighed.

“Would I be standing behind the counter if I didn’t?” he said, hoping he would leave soon. Work was the one place where he had been safe from Erwin’s presence. Of course he was his friend and spending time with him wasn’t really bad, but seeing each other all the time could be exhausting.

Erwin didn’t respond as he was busy eyeing the various pastries. “Everything looks delicious.” He told Levi what he wanted and then looked at Armin.

“Don’t take everything he says to heart. Levi’s just not good with people.”

“I don’t care if he’s rude to me, but I draw the line when he insults my friends,” Armin replied seriously.

Erwin nodded. “I understand that,” he said and gave Armin the money. “But trust me, he isn’t that bad. Just grumpy.”

“Can you please leave now,” Levi glared at his friend and gave him his purchase. “I’m busy.”

“I can see that,” Erwin chuckled. “Alright, I’ll leave. Have fun you two. Oh, and by the way, I found a new recipe. I’ll make sure to have finished dinner by the time you come home.”

“God have mercy,” Levi muttered and Erwin left.After his departure there was an uncomfortable silence and Levi noticed Armin sneaking glances at him.

“What.”

The blond hesitated before asking. “Is he your boyfriend?”

Levi choked on his own saliva and started coughing, alarming Armin. “Are you okay?” he asked worried and Levi nodded, calming down again.

“He’s not my boyfriend!” he hissed, insulted that he actually thought he and Erwin… Fuck no. Why did he even think that? “He’s my friend, I told you.”

Armin rubbed the back of his neck, probably feeling embarrassed about his wrong assumption. “I just thought- he said he was making dinner and you two seem close.”

“We are living together at the moment. That’s all. I can’t believe you thought that we two…that’s so gross,” he shuddered and Armin started to laugh.

“I’m sorry, but your face was hilarious,” he laughed, looking away when Levi glared at him.

“Yes, absolutely hilarious. Now stop laughing like an idiot, dumbass. There’s a customer here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In addition to Erwin, I also like Armin.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left a kudo and/or a comment or bookmarked the story. Your support is greatly appreciated!


	3. The Apple and the Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sounds like a normal person to me." Erwin clearly didn't know what the hell he was talking about. Normal? No. Anything but normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shiganshina is clearly a fictional place in a fictional world, so I decided to base the medical services and procedures on my own state's proceedings. If you don't know, an e-card holds your identification data (social security number, name, sex etc.). You have to show it first thing at a doctor's and they will check where you're insured and which insurance institution has to pay for the medical treatment. It replaces all sorts of otherwise needed medical papers. It's really handy!

Over the course of the next two weeks Levi fully settled in and even managed to get through a whole shift with Jean without insulting him. It was a rather big accomplishment. He received his first pay cheque and decided to reward himself by buying a new vacuum cleaner, because the one they currently owned was shit.

Living with Erwin was also getting easier or maybe he was only getting used to it. Erwin seemed to like it here in Shiganshina and even went out for drinks with some of his work colleagues. He constantly told Levi that he needed to make some new friends which annoyed him to no end. Besides, he had made a friend, even though not willingly. Hanji had simply decided she was his friend now. Levi hadn’t even had a say in the matter, so now he was stuck with her.

She was eccentric, a chatterbox and insane, but all in all he could handle her. When he insulted Hanji she didn’t take it personally and mostly laughed, which meant he could release some pent up frustration, so that was a plus. She even laughed at his stupid jokes. One time he had asked her why her bakery was called Sawney and Bean’s. She told him about her pet praying mantises whose names had been Sawney and Bean. Why someone would name a bakery after their pet insects was beyond him, but Hanji wasn’t exactly normal, so he let it slide.

All in all his life in Shiganshina wasn’t so bad. He had a job that didn’t pay too badly, he had somehow made a friend and his colleagues could be worse.

Then he got sick.

“Levi, you should really go to a doctor,” Erwin told him. He had been worrying about him for two days. Normally Levi would roll his eyes, but he didn’t have the energy. Everything hurt, his nose was stuffy and he felt hot.

“I’m fine,” he grumbled and coughed, wincing at how sore his throat was.

Erwin sighed and shook his head. “That’s it. I’m taking you to a doctor. You’re obviously not okay and I’m worried. You’re never sick.”

“The germs are scared of me,” he said and pulled the blanket tighter around himself. “I’m not going.”

“Too bad. I already made an appointment this morning.”

Levi glared at him, trying to ignore the scratching in his throat. “Bastard.”

“We'd better get going or we’ll be late. I seriously don’t want to deal with you being sick any longer than necessary,” Erwin told him. “You know you’re not getting out of this one, so don’t even try to fight me.”

Sometimes Levi absolutely despised him.

 

* * *

 

Twenty minutes later Levi was walking into the clinic with Erwin, scowling at how unfair the world was. He never got sick. He was sure it was Jean’s fault. At their last shift he had looked kind of sickly and Levi had avoided as much contact with him as possible. Apparently not enough.

“Hello, how can I help you?”

_Fuck no._

Was he cursed? What was it about him that made life want to make him miserable?

“I made an appointment earlier today for ten o’clock.”

“Ten… Ah, you must be Erwin Smith! For Levi Ackerman, right?” he asked and took a look at Levi. “Oh, your surname is Ackerman?”

Levi nodded and glared at Eren, hoping he wouldn’t try to talk to him again. Of course he worked here. Now that he thought about it he remembered Armin mentioning Eren’s father was a doctor.

“Do you two know each other?” Erwin asked curiously. Eren smiled and nodded while Levi only continued glaring.

“My friend Armin works with him,” Eren explained. “We also met at the local supermarket once.”

Levi didn’t like the look Erwin was giving him.

“Is that so.”

“You’re lucky, there isn’t much going on today,” Eren said. “Can I have your e-card, please?”

Levi took the card out of his wallet and handed it to Eren. Erwin was still looking at him, like he was expecting Levi to tell him a story. Too bad that there wasn’t one to tell.

After a few seconds Eren gave him his card back. “My father will call for you soon. You can sit down in the waiting room back there.” He pointed in the direction and smiled at them both.

Erwin thanked him and they both walked away and sat down. There was no one else in the waiting room. “You looked truly delighted when you saw him. Did he do something to you?” he asked amused.

“The kid’s annoying as all hell.”

“Oh? I thought he was very nice,” Erwin replied and leaned back into the chair. “He appears to like you.”

“I wish he’d leave me alone. I told him I don’t want to talk to him.” He started coughing again and swallowed painfully.

Erwin sighed. “Would it kill you to be nice for once? There aren’t many people who want to talk to you to begin with.”

“And that’s the way I want it.”

“Look, I know that after what happened it’s-”

“Can we not talk about this now? I’m sick, I’m hurting all over and I seriously don’t need this conversation right now,” Levi cut him off, effectively silencing his friend. He knew Erwin was simply worried, he got that, but right now he didn’t want to talk about that. He would never want to talk about it.

Levi sighed. “There’s something wrong with that kid. That’s why I don’t want to talk with him.”

Erwin frowned and Levi knew he hadn’t expected that explanation. “There’s something wrong with him?”

“Yes. He… I don’t know what it is, but he isn’t… He’s not normal. I get a weird feeling when I’m talking to him. He’s always smiling, polite and cheerful-”

“Sounds like a normal person to me,” Erwin interjected and Levi gave him a look that told him to shut up.

“That’s not it. Erwin, I basically told him to fuck off and he still didn’t get angry or anything. He just kept on smiling. It freaked me out. I talked to Armin about it and he just said that Eren is always like that. I don’t believe him.”

All this talking was making his sore throat worse and he hoped that he would get called up soon.

Erwin seemed to think about what to say next. “You think he’s faking it?” The tone suggested he didn’t believe him.

“Yes. Or, I don’t know. The only thing I’m sure about is that there’s something wrong with him. I have a theory that he’s a psychopath.”

“Levi… Don’t you think that Armin would’ve noticed that by now? He appears to be a bright young man.”

“That’s what confuses me, too. If anything his best friend should know something is off. Wait,” Levi paused and looked at his friend. “How would you know Armin is that smart? You’ve met him once.”

Erwin shrugged, “I met him another time when I went to the bakery and we started talking.”

“Right.” He didn’t want to think about his friend and his colleague possibly talking about him behind his back.

The next five minutes passed in silence with the occasional cough breaking it. Levi was getting rather impatient, wanting to get this over with quickly so he could lie down again when he was finally called.

He walked passed Eren to enter the doctor’s office, knowing he was being watched. Hopefully his father wasn’t as freaky as the kid.

“Levi Ackerman, right?” the doctor asked him and Levi nodded. The man had the same chocolate brown hair as his son, although it was longer. The two didn’t look too much alike and Levi supposed Eren must take after his mother.

He sat down and looked around the office, noticing the usual posters depicting the human body, but also some with weird sayings.

 

**_The greatest pleasure in life_ **

**_Is sharing what you have_ **

**_With those in need_ **

**_To be kind_ **

**_Is to be good_ **

**_To be unkind_ **

**_Is to be evil_ **

 

Levi had expected to find one of those ‘home is where the heart is’ embroideries, but didn’t find one. What a weird office. Well, everyone needed some things to cheer them up.

The doctor – Grisha Jaeger – did a normal check-up, measured his temperature and came to the conclusion he had influenza. Levi could’ve told him that from the beginning, but knew that this was the normal procedure. Levi wasn't sure what it exactly was, but Eren's father was a bit odd. Sure, he was nice, very nice in fact. However, the way he moved, the way he talked... It all reminded of an actor's performance. It just didn't feel natural.

Grisha Jaeger prescribed him some medication, telling him he just needed to go to his son as they had the medication here. Levi thanked him and left the room, getting that weird feeling again. Why did the Jaegers creep him out for some reason?

He gave the paper to Eren who quickly gave him the medicine. “I’m sure my father told you when to take it and how much,” he said and Levi nodded, relieved that he could leave now and get some sleep.

“I hope you’ll get better soon. A few people already came in this week who had the flu. Hopefully the whole town won’t soon be sick,” he joked, smiling at him. Levi wondered what he’d have to do to get rid of that smile, what kind of things he would have to say to accomplish that.

“I’ll make sure I won’t infect anyone on purpose,” Levi muttered and Eren laughed. “That wouldn’t be good, no. You’re a walking biological weapon right now.”

Levi couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him and blamed it on his sick state. “I suppose you’re right.”

Eren’s eyes seemed to brighten when he laughed. “I won’t keep you here any longer. Get some rest. I’ll see you around.”

“Sure.”

Levi just wanted to leave now and saw Erwin coming towards him. “You’ve got everything?” After a short nod from Levi he turned to Eren. “Bye, Eren. Tell Armin I said hi,” he said and Eren assured him he would.

They both left and Levi coughed into a handkerchief. “I just want to go home.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll make you some tea and then you can sleep for two days for all I care,” Erwin said. “You laughed at Eren’s joke, didn’t you?”

“Shut up, Smith. I’m sick and not right in the head right now. By the way, why do you keep talking to Armin?”

“No reason.”

“Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No reason, Erwin? Are you sure? Are you sure about that?


	4. A New Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren? Freaking out? That didn't sound like him at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support! Ah, I love reading your comments and getting kudos! Thank you so much!

Levi spent the next week in his bed, cursing Jean and thinking about the Jaegers. He didn’t even know why it bothered him that much. It could be because he had next to no social life and was bored. So far all he knew was that Eren was Armin’s friend and worked for his father. He was incredibly annoying and vomit-inducingly cheerful. A new thing that bothered him was Eren’s father. At first he had thought he was alright, but those weird posters in his office… The more he thought about it the more he noticed how weird they had been. They weren’t normal motivational posters. They hadn’t even been Bible verses, although he could be wrong about that. He wasn’t that religious.

Erwin hadn’t found Eren to be weird or anything like that. Did no one else think it was weird to be so damn happy? Was it just him? Was he the one who was acting strangely?

But what had happened at the supermarket hadn’t been a product of his own imagination. During their one-sided conversation Eren had said that all of his friends were at university, so why wasn’t he? Surely his father could employ someone else. Maybe Eren had had simply no desire to continue studying.

When he had his next shift with Armin, Levi brought some of his questions up.

“You know, you keep saying Eren is annoying, but you sure do talk about him a lot,” Armin commented, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Levi pressed the button on the coffee machine. “I’m just curious. Besides, there aren’t that many topics we can talk about. We don’t have a lot in common.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Armin seemed satisfied with his answer. “At first Eren wanted to go to university. He’s very interested in marine biology and art. He even applied for university,” he told Levi who raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t expected that.

“So what changed his mind? Or did they not accept him?” he asked and walked over to a table, giving the man his coffee. Armin dealt with another customer before he continued talking.

“No, they accepted him. Eren’s grades weren’t that bad at all. He’s always been a hard worker,” he said. “We were excited to go to the same university, but he suddenly changed his mind. About two weeks before university started he told me he wouldn’t attend after all. Needless to say I was upset about it. I was looking forward to finally going to the same place to study as him.”

“You didn’t go to school together?” Levi asked surprised and Armin shook his head.

“Eren attended a private school. My parents were friends with his mother, that’s how we met each other.”

“They _were_ friends with her?” Levi asked confused. “Did something change?”

Armin paused. “My, uh, my parents are dead.”

_Shit._

“I didn’t know,” Levi said.

“It’s fine,” Armin shrugged. “They died a few years ago. I still have my grandfather,” he added.

Levi decided to change the topic again for Armin’s sake.

“So why didn’t Eren go to university?” he asked, still finding it strange he would just back out.

“He said that he’d rather stay here and work for his father. I didn’t ask too much about it. He was a bit…I felt like it was a touchy subject.”

“Hm.”

So Eren had initially wanted to attend university. What would make him suddenly change his mind? He had never gone to school with Armin so he should’ve been thrilled to go to university with him.

“But he appears to be happy working for his dad,” Armin continued and Levi got the feeling that there was more that Armin wasn’t telling him. For what reason he didn’t know, but he assumed he respected Eren’s privacy and was already regretting telling him this much.

“I met him there the other day,” Levi said and Armin nodded. “When you were ill I assume. He works there full time.”

“I thought so. How old is he, by the way?”

“The same age as I am. Levi, why are you so interested in him? I don’t get it,” Armin asked. “I thought you hated him.”

“I said that I found him annoying. I just have this weird feeling about him,” he replied honestly as a repayment for all the information. He saw Armin roll his eyes, but ignored it. “When I was in his father’s office he gave off the same odd vibe. Is his father very religious, by the way?”

He knew that he had said something wrong when Armin looked away and tensed. “I don’t know,” he replied curtly. “Why are you asking?”

Was religion a touchy subject to him? Armin hadn’t struck him as someone who was that religious. “I just saw some of his posters and assumed they’re from the Bible or something.”

Armin didn’t reply, clearly uncomfortable with this new line of questioning and Levi dropped the conversation. This was getting weirder by the second. Eren had been clearly excited about going to university and then suddenly decided that he’d rather stay here to work for his father? Were they that close that Eren would miss out on the chance to go study what he wanted to? That didn’t add up to him. And what about his father?

The rest of the shift continued in silence. Armin didn’t want to talk to him any more and Levi could understand that. He wasn’t going to pressure him into talking about it. He was his only source of information after all.

That night when he laid in his bed he realised how strange this entire situation was. Here he was obsessing over what was wrong with Armin’s friend without even being his friend or anything. They didn’t even know each other all that well. Maybe Erwin was right. Maybe he did need a social life. Levi had the feeling that what he was doing right now wasn’t healthy.

 

* * *

 

“So, do you like working at my bakery?” Hanji took a sip from her drink, hair tied up into a messy ponytail. Levi didn’t know what had possessed him to ask her if she wanted to get a drink after work. He had a feeling he was going to regret this decision.

After drinking from his beer he shrugged. “It’s alright. It pays better than my last job.”

“I suppose it’s a bit different from working at a sex shop,” she laughed. “Honestly, I can’t imagine you working there. You don’t look the part.”

“What part? I don’t look sexy?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“Yeah.”

He didn’t know if he should be insulted or relieved that she didn’t find him attractive.

“You just seem so…uptight, serious, gloomy, pr-”

“Are you done insulting me?” he stared at her and Hanji chuckled, tracing the rim of her glass with one finger.

Levi knew that she was right. From the outside that’s what people thought he was and he didn’t blame them. He was a very private person and kept a guard up at all times. The only person who knew him better was Erwin and he wanted it to stay that way. Hanji hadn’t earned his full trust so far.

“It’s funny. I talked to Armin, Marco, Annie and Jean to find out what they think of you,” she told him, getting his attention again. “Marco told me that you’re nice, but I don’t think he could ever say anything bad about anyone. He’s too kind-hearted for that.”

Levi agreed with her on that. That kid had a heart of gold and Levi couldn’t bring himself to be too rude to him. The shifts with him were calm and mostly enjoyable.

“And Jean told me you were a prick, but that you did your job well,” she smiled. “Now that I can believe more. Annie didn’t say much about you. She thinks you’re alright. But the most interesting reply I got was from Armin.” Hanji finished her drink. “He told me that he was afraid that you’re stalking his friend.”

Levi nearly choked on his beer and put his glass down, managing to swallow without spitting. “I’m not stalking Eren!” he said in defence.

“So it really is Eren. Tell me Levi, why are you so interested in him?” she asked curiously and leaned forward. “I’ve known Eren for a while now. Most of the townspeople know him. You know how it is, people like to talk and with his father being the only doctor here he comes up in conversations. People say that he’s kind, helpful and polite. He comes by my shop quite often.”

Levi tapped his fingers against the table and thought over her words. “I’m not people. He may seem like he is all that stuff, but I don’t buy it. He’s too damn chipper.”

Hanji tilted her head and looked at him amused. “That’s it? You think he’s too cheerful? What a peculiar reason to warrant such an investigation. Armin told me you’ve been asking all kinds of questions.”

Armin needed to know when to shut up.

“Don’t you think it’s strange? He’s always smiling and acting like there’s no evil in this world,” Levi replied.

“He’s just a happy person. And here I thought you had some great reason for stalking him, like seeing him talk to some shady dudes or burying a body.” Hanji sighed, clearly disappointed.

“I’m not stalking him,” he told her again.

Why did no one think he was strange? Did no one else see that there was something wrong? He couldn’t be the only one.

“Sure you aren’t.” She got up and went to get them more to drink, leaving Levi alone with his thoughts. Erwin didn’t believe him and Hanji also thought he was being idiotic. Maybe he was in the wrong. No. Levi couldn’t be wrong. There was something going on. He was sure of it.

And he was also convinced that Armin knew what it was, or at least part of it. The way he had suddenly stopped talking when Levi had mentioned Eren’s father’s weird posters had been suspicious. He wasn’t quite sure to what he had reacted so negatively. The mention of religion or Grisha Jaeger?

“You always look so serious, Levi. Cheer up!” Hanji put a bottle of beer on the table for him and sat down. “I swear, you’re only jealous that Eren is happy, because you’re such a pessimist.”

“If you say so,” Levi said. Arguing with Hanji was useless. He had learned that pretty early on.

He drank from his beer and saw her watching him. “Did you put something in my beer?” he asked. “You’re looking at me pretty intensely.”

“Hm? Oh no. I was just thinking. I think you’re dead wrong when it comes to Eren, but I know you’re not going to let this go.” She put her hands under her chin. “There’s only one instance I remember where Eren was acting a bit weirdly.”

Levi put his bottle down onto the table. “Oh?” The conversation was starting to get interesting.

“I’ve been living here for two years now and opened my bakery rather quickly. Eren started coming by about two months after the opening I think. He never buys anything except a piece of Sachertorte. Anyway, one time he asked me if I needed help over the summer and I said yes, because I didn’t have too many employees and you know me, I like working with young people. They’re so full of energy and-”

“Get to the point,” Levi interrupted her before she could go into a rant. She huffed before continuing.

“Yes, so I told him I could use the help and the next day he came by with a friend, Armin. Turns out he wasn’t asking for himself but for him. Armin used to be rather shy, you see. So I told Armin he could work for me over the summer. I explained to him what he needed to know and the two were about to leave the shop when another boy bumped into Armin and continued walking without apologising.”

Levi sighed. “Are you ever going to get to the interesting part?” he asked. Hanji should hurry up already. He wasn’t known for being patient.

“This is the interesting part. You see, Armin was going to pretend nothing happened, but Eren got upset. He told the guy – it was Jean by the way, which is quite funny in hindsight – to apologise to Armin. Jean rolled his eyes and asked him why he should even apologise and Eren _freaked out_ ,” she said with wide eyes.

“What do you mean by that?” Freaked out? Eren? That didn’t sound right.

Hanji was nearly bouncing in her seat when she continued her story. “He started yelling at Jean, telling him how rude he was, that Armin hadn’t done anything to him. Of course, Jean being Jean wasn’t going to just let himself be yelled at and basically told Eren to fuck off. Next thing I know is that Eren took Jean by the collar and looked at him like he was going to murder him right then and there. He was raising his right fist slightly and I was ready to intervene when suddenly he just stopped.” Her expression changed, turning more serious. Levi had never seen her like this before.

“He let go of Jean and he looked like he had seen a ghost. Eren apologised, said that he didn’t know what got into him and left with Armin running after him. When he came by the next time he apologised for causing a scene. I told him that it was fine, but he insisted that it had been awful of him. He’s a good guy.”

Levi couldn’t picture Eren yelling at someone, even less him wanting to hit another person. Had Jean bumping into Armin truly bothered him that much? And why had he stopped? He thought back to when he had been at the supermarket and Eren had also appeared to be pissed off and then simply smiled.

“But that was the only time something like that happened. I can’t even blame him. Jean can be an arsehole,” Hanji laughed. “I mean, even a nice person can snap once in a while.”

That was true, wasn’t it? Erwin also got angry with him once in a while and he was the nicest person he knew. Well, besides Marco. The kid was a saint.

However, the act of getting angry wasn’t what bothered him. It was the fact that Eren had suddenly stopped, just like back at the supermarket. If he had gotten so angry at Jean that he had been on the verge of punching him he normally should’ve done it. Why hadn’t he? Did he have such a great amount of self-control?

The rest of the night Hanji and him talked about other things. She didn’t believe him so what was the point in talking to her about it more? Levi let her talk about whatever she wanted as he wasn’t good at picking topics and simply listened to her ramblings while drinking more than he should. It was fun, more fun than it had any right to be and he warmed up to Hanji. Sure, she was kind of insane, but she wasn’t boring. All in all it was an enjoyable night. Drinking with her hadn’t been that bad of a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a bad decision at all.


	5. Never Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What do you mean? We used to beat each other up all the time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was pretty excited for this chapter and when you read it I'm sure you'll know why.

When his alarm woke Levi up the next day he regretted everything. His head felt like it was splitting apart and his mouth tasted like a dead animal had crawled inside and died.

_I’m never going out for drinks with Hanji again._

Through more effort than it should have taken him Levi got out of bed, disgusted by the fact he had worn yesterday’s clothes to sleep in and made his way to the bathroom, ignoring his messy appearance in the mirror. Why the hell had he drunken so much? Usually he had a set limit of how much he drank. He was convinced that Hanji was responsible for his current state and fuzzy memories.

After a much needed shower Levi got ready to start the day, cursing himself again when he remembered today wasn’t his day off. Fuck. Why had Hanji allowed him to drink so much? She must have known he had to work today.

“I’m delighted to see that you went out with a friend, but your appearance leads me to believe you drank a bit too much,” Erwin commented when Levi entered the living room.

“I don’t need your judgemental looks right now.” Levi shot him a glare, but Erwin only laughed, setting the book he had been reading down.

“I’m not judging. Like I said, I’m glad you made a new friend. Although, don’t you have to work today? I thought you already left.”

“Don’t you?” Levi retorted and walked into the kitchen to make himself some coffee.

“It’s Saturday, so no.”

Bastard.

It was true he was most likely going to be late, but if he didn’t have some coffee right now he wasn’t going to survive the day. It was better to be late than dead.

While he was making his coffee he heard Erwin walking around the living room. It sounded like he was trying to tidy up. Knowing him he was just making it worse. Why was he cleaning?

“Levi, you’re going to be late for work,” he heard Erwin say and Levi took a sip from his steaming cup of coffee goodness. “I don’t care. I need my coffee,” he said. “Why are you even rushing me? You know I hate that.” He raised an eyebrow at Erwin’s unusual behaviour. “Is something going on?”

“No,” Erwin said and Levi smirked. That was too quick of an answer.

“You want me out of the house, don’t you? Now I know why you were rushing me.”

“I wasn’t ru-”

The doorbell rang.

Levi left the kitchen and walked to the living room, eyes narrowing in suspicion. Erwin was looking a bit nervous.

“I thought…”

“That I wouldn’t be here?”

Levi smirked, set his coffee down on the table and walked to the front door. “Let’s see who it is. Someone from work?”

Smirk still on his face he opened the door, but it quickly vanished when he came face to face with the visitor. Wide blue eyes were staring at him. Levi was glad he hadn’t taken his coffee with him, because he would’ve surely dropped his cup.

“L-Levi?” Armin stammered, cheeks reddening. “I, uh, is Erwin here?”

What the hell was going on? Levi felt Erwin’s presence behind him and turned around, lips set in a tight line. So his worst fears had been confirmed.

“Yeah he’s here.”

Levi walked back into the living room, downing the rest of his coffee in one go and quickly gathered his things. This day was truly starting terribly. He made his way to the front door where Armin was still standing, covering his face with his hands in obvious embarrassment while Erwin was talking to him.

Deciding that this was punishment enough for them already Levi left the house, trying to forget what he had just witnessed.

 

* * *

 

“Hello Jean, hi Levi,” Eren said as he walked up to them, his trademark smile on his face. Levi was unfortunate enough to have a shift with Jean who had finally recovered enough to work again. Today wasn’t his day. First he woke up with a splitting headache, then he found out Erwin and Armin were seeing each other – he still wasn’t sure if they were in a relationship or still in the phase before that, but honestly he didn’t want to know – and he had a shift with Jean. And now to make matters even worse Eren was here.

Jean didn’t look all that happy either that he was here.

“I suppose you want the usual,” he grumbled and Eren nodded, not at all bothered by Jean’s behaviour, so different from what Hanji had told Levi. While Jean was busy Levi decided that the best way to find out more about Eren was to ask him himself. Even if the kid did creep him out a bit he was pretty harmless. Well, probably.

“I moved here about two months ago,” Levi told him and Eren looked at him confused.

“You asked me that once and I didn’t answer,” he explained. “I’m sorry about that by the way. I was having a bad day.” Yes. If he was nice to him then maybe he’d think he could trust Levi.

The smile that found its way onto Eren’s face wasn’t fake in the slightest.

“Ah, it’s alright. Most people have a bad day once in a while,” Eren said, looking at Jean again when he was handed his purchase and paid for it.

“You look like you never have one.” Levi watched as Eren shrugged and turned his attention towards him again.

“Nope.” He smiled at him, obviously happy that Levi was talking to him. Levi couldn’t help but find the phrasing odd.

_Most people have a bad day once in a while. Why most people? Doesn’t everyone have one?_

Eren moved aside so another customer could talk to Jean, but didn’t appear to have any intention to leave right away.

“I’m glad that you’re no longer sick. I was a bit worried,” he admitted and rubbed the back of his neck.

Worried? “Why were you worried about me? You hardly know me,” Levi said.

“I know you a bit. For example, I know that your surname is Ackerman and that you’re a neat freak,” he let out a loud laugh and Levi frowned.

“How do you know that?”

“Hm? I saw when you were at the cli-”

“No, the neat f- the thing about me liking cleanliness.”

Eren smiled again. “Armin told me. He says it’s a real pain to work with you sometimes,” he smirked.

Levi sighed. He did not want to think about Armin right now. Wait, how much did Armin talk about him? He seriously needed to have a talk with him. “That still doesn’t justify you worrying about me.”

“I think it does. Besides, isn’t that just a natural thing to do? Worrying about someone you like?”

“You like me?” Levi asked surprised and Eren nodded.

“Yes. I think you’re a funny guy and you’re nice.”

“Funny…and nice.” No one had ever said that about him. He was neither of those two things. This kid was truly weird.

Eren was suddenly looking a bit uncomfortable. “Ah, yeah.”

“You’re not so bad either,” Levi said without thinking and got to see Eren’s wide smile again. Those smiles Eren gave him weren’t fake and were nice to look at. Right now he didn’t have the feeling that he was faking anything. He could almost pretend Eren was perfectly normal.

“I’ll leave you alone now. Ms. Zoe will kill me if I hinder you from working. Or Jean.” Eren glanced at Levi’s colleague. “It was nice seeing you again. Have a nice day,” he told Levi, practically beaming.

“You too, Eren,” he replied and watched him leave.

Jean and him continued working side by side for a while as a stream of customers found their way into Sawney and Bean’s. Eren hadn’t been fake when he had been talking to him. Everything had seemed normal today.

“I can’t believe you’re friends with that freak,” Jean grumbled after they had dealt with the last customer.

“Freak? Do you mean Eren?” Levi asked. “I’m not friends with him.”

“Looked like it,” Jean scoffed and looked at him. “Didn’t think you were the type to like someone like that.”

Levi was a bit confused by what Jean was trying to say. “You don’t know me. Do you dislike him because he nearly beat you up that one time?” Levi asked, remembering what he and Hanji had discussed the night before.

“What do you mean? We used to beat each other up all the time.”

Now it was Levi’s turn to be surprised. He had thought that what Hanji had told him had been the only incident involving Jean.

“You look surprised. I can’t blame you.” Jean shook his head. “If one looks at him now he doesn’t seem the type, but Eren used to be really different.”

“When was that?” Levi asked, for the first time interested in talking to his obnoxious colleague.

“Hm. I think about ten, nine years ago? Damn, now that I’m thinking about it… That was a long time ago. But yeah, Eren was known for his short temper back then, not that I was a lot better.”

In Levi’s opinion Jean was still not any better.

“We got into a lot of fights with each other at school, but then he changed schools and turned into…well, he turned into who he is now. He’s so different. Back then he was such a little shit and had some real anger issues, no patience whatsoever and wasn’t the nicest person around. And now look at him. People can really change.”

Who would’ve thought Jean would tell him something so crucial? Levi had thought Eren had always been like this, but from what he had just heard he used to be completely different. Of course it was normal for people to change, but to this extent?

“When did he change schools?” Levi asked.

“I think it was when we were ten in the middle of the year. His mother died and he wasn’t at school for a week when our classroom teacher told us,” Jean answered.

So Eren’s mother was dead? Hadn’t Armin mentioned his parents used to be friends with Eren’s mother? Maybe he could find out more that from him, although talking to Armin didn’t sound that appealing…

Another couple entered the shop and Levi went back to work, forgetting about their conversation for the time being. When he wanted to ask Jean further question he refused, saying that he didn’t want to talk about it any more and asking, just like Armin had, why he was so interested anyway. It was a justifiable question, one Levi still didn’t know the right answer to. Was it boredom? General curiosity? Concern? Levi couldn’t provide Jean with an answer. The only thing he knew was that he wanted to know more about Eren.

 

* * *

 

Coming back to the house later that day with Erwin there was weird. Armin was nowhere to be seen, thank God. Levi didn’t know what to say and neither did Erwin, so their conversations were a bit strained. It wasn’t like Levi minded all that much that Erwin had…befriended Armin. Erwin could do whatever the fuck he wanted. He could’ve told him, though. Levi was the last person who was allowed to judge other people’s dating preferences.

Although, it was kind of weird that Erwin was interested in Armin of all people.

When he asked him if he and Armin were together he didn’t get a straight answer out of him. Apparently they hadn’t talked about it so far, but by the way Erwin was behaving it was pretty clear he at least was interested.

Yeah, work with Armin was going to be strange from now on.

Levi didn’t ask any other questions. If Erwin wanted to talk then they’d talk about it. Levi had other things to worry about, for example if he should stop. He was developing a real obsession and that thought scared him. Normally he didn’t get obsessed with an idea, a person. He wasn’t even necessarily obsessed with Eren himself, more like what was wrong with him. So far he didn’t want to get to know him better. Levi didn’t need to know what he liked, didn’t need to know his interests. Only his faults. His failures.

Levi realised why he was doing this right then and there. Why he was getting so invested in this mystery.

He was trying to run away from his own problems by focusing on another person’s. This was his outlet, his escape. By obsessing over Eren’s screwed up personality he could forget about his own failures, his worries and fears. He could forget about what happened back in Trost. Through Eren he could escape his own nasty thoughts. Since starting this investigation he hadn’t thought about himself all that much. And that had been nice.

But not healthy.

Levi hadn’t come to terms with anything yet. All this time he had been simply ignoring his latest failures. He had moved here to forget about his life in Trost. And he had been so close to doing just that.

But to move on you first had to close a door and right now it was still open.

Erwin had been a very good friend to him. He had also left his life in Trost behind, just because he had wanted to help him. He didn’t deserve a friend like that, but he was glad he had one. Without Erwin he wouldn’t have known what to do.

His last relationship had been an utter failure through and through because of his own inability to express his emotions, his thoughts. Opening up to people was hard. Everyone was always judging him, trying to see if they were better than him. Very early in life he had learned to close himself off in fear of connecting with someone. Because trusting people hurt.

Levi still didn’t want to think about it. He had basically run away. He hadn’t tried to solve the situation, hadn’t tried to fix anything. After she had said those cruel words he had…run away, like always. That had been his solution to every problem in his life so far.

And obsessing over Eren’s problems had felt so good, it still did, because that meant he didn’t need to think about his own. He felt better that way, better than Eren. It was an addicting feeling, thinking he had his life together, because he wasn’t fucked up. Because he had the feeling that that was exactly what Eren was.

So what was going to happen? After solving the mystery behind what had happened to Eren, what was he going to do? Was he going to simply stop thinking about it, stop talking to him? Was he going to close the door on him and move on, happy that he had solved the mystery, ‘him’? Or was he going to do something else? Was he going to try to help? But why would he? To him Eren was nothing more than his escape from his own inner demons.

Levi knew that he couldn’t keep running away. He should talk to Erwin about it. He should try to stop hiding what was eating away at him. And he shouldn’t treat Eren just as an outlet for him, a distraction. Eren was a person, a complex person with feelings, memories, problems and thoughts. He wasn’t his failures. He wasn’t there to just distract Levi, but he fit the role perfectly. He was simply the perfect target.


	6. Getting to Know Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was...nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I read through this chapter I discovered a plothole, which led to me rewriting three other chapters and... Yeah. I lost some progress. I'm an idiot.

“I’m really surprised that you started talking to me in all honesty,” Eren said as they walked to the bakery.

“Why are you surprised? We know each other, don’t we?” Levi replied and saw him smile.

They had met at the supermarket again and remembering his thoughts from the last day Levi had spontaneously asked Eren if he wanted to go to Sawney and Bean’s with him. If he wanted to know more about Eren he would have to talk to the man himself.

“We do. Still, I thought you were only being nice to me for niceness’ sake.” He stepped aside so another person could walk by.

Levi frowned. “Why would I do that? I’m nice when I want to. I don’t fake that. That would be insincere.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Eren was strangely silent after that, seemingly lost in thought and it was Levi who broke the silence.

“Do you like working for your father? You asked me if I liked working at the bakery, but I never asked you,” he said, finding it uncomfortable when Eren wasn’t talking.

Eren looked at him for a moment, smiling again, but to Levi it didn’t feel…right. It wasn’t like those smiles back when he was at the shop.

“It’s nice.”

“Armin told me you originally wanted to go to university.” Levi was unsure if he should bring that up, but it was too late now. He simply needed to know more.

Eren sighed. “It seems like Armin really does like to talk,” he said and chuckled. “But yeah, that was my plan. I decided not to go, though. My dad offered me my current job and I thought why not? I’d immediately be able to start working. Of course going to university with the others would’ve been awesome.”

They reached Sawney and Bean’s and Levi held the door open for Eren who thanked him.

“You can have whatever you want. My treat,” Levi told him, “but I have a feeling I already know what you’ll take.”

“You’re making it look like that’s some amazing feat,” Eren laughed and his gaze turned towards Annie who nodded in greeting. Levi knew that she and Marco were working right now. He must be on his break.

When they were seated at a table the conversation continued.

“Did you go to university?” Eren asked him and put some sugar into his coffee.

“Yes, but I dropped out. I started studying politics, but decided it wasn’t for me after all. Working at a sex shop was better.”

The look on Eren’s face was truly a sight to behold.

“You alright? You look like you just shat yourself.”

“I, uh-, you worked at a s-sex shop?” Eren asked, stumbling over the words.

Levi smirked. “Not what you were expecting, am I right?”

“I don’t think anybody can expect that answer,” he muttered, cheeks turning pink. “I wanted to study marine biology. I love the sea. My family and I used to go there in the summer. I’d always end up crying when my mum told me we needed to go back. I used to be a real crybaby,” he laughed and took a bite from his cake.

“What does your mum do?” Levi knew she was dead, but Eren didn’t know that and he wanted to know if he could get some more information out of him.

“Oh. Uhm, she died a few years ago.” Eren avoided looking at him.

“I didn’t know,” he lied.

“It’s fine. It’s just a bit of a sore subject,” he said, drinking from his mug. “But it’s fine now. Everything happens for a reason.”

“Even someone’s death?” Levi asked in return, intrigued by his words.

“Yes,” he replied and set his mug down.

“And what would that reason be?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Eren’s tone suggested that he would rather not talk about it any more. Levi was fine with that.

He watched Eren finish his cake in record time and sighed when he noticed chocolate was stuck to the corner of his lips. “Geez, you’re a messy eater. You’ve got chocolate there.” He pointed to his own lips and Eren blushed.

“Sorry…” he mumbled and wiped it away with his sleeve, making Levi shiver.

“I didn’t think you could make it worse, but you did. There’s a perfectly good napkin right here. But no, of course you had to use your sleeve. You’re truly making me lose my faith in humanity. Congratulations.”

Eren was laughing by the time he had finished his mini rant. “Oh my God. I had no idea it would bother you this much.”

“How could it not? It’s disgusting,” Levi grimaced. Eren was always dressed smartly and now he had ruined his outfit.

“They’re my clothes. I can do whatever I want with them, but I assure you I won’t do that next time we go somewhere to eat,” Eren smiled and Levi sighed dramatically. “Thank God.”

Was Eren automatically assuming that there was going to be a next time? And had Levi accepted? Hm.

They continued talking about Levi’s impression of Shiganshina and if he liked it here. Talking to Eren wasn’t as bad as he had imagined it to be. He used to think that Eren was an idiot, but that wasn’t the case. Sure, he had his moments, but didn’t everyone have them? Levi even had to hold back laughter at one point when the kid talked about some of his childhood shenanigans.

The kid was good at holding a conversation. He would never ramble on like Hanji always did and even made Levi talk more than he was used to. When asking him if he wanted to get some coffee with him he had been expecting painful silences, awkward chatter and an abundance of fake smiles from Eren. However, he was pleasantly surprised that that wasn’t the case. It was…nice.

So nice that Levi didn’t notice how quickly time was passing until Eren looked at his watch. “Oh God, it’s so late already!” he exclaimed, eyes widening. “I promised my father I’d cook dinner today. I’d better hurry.”

“You live with your father?” Levi asked curiously. “I thought you had your own flat.”

Eren shook his head. “Nope. But it’s not so bad,” he told him and stood up, putting his jacket on.

“You work full-time at the clinic, don’t you? I’m sure you can afford a small flat in Shiganshina,” Levi remarked, brows furrowing. The house Erwin and he rented was ridiculously cheap compared to the prices back in Trost.

Eren pulled the zip on his jacket up and looked at him, but he wasn’t answering.

“You okay? You look constipated all of a sudden,” Levi commented and Eren frowned.

“What? No, I’m fine. I can’t afford a flat. I don’t make that much.”

He didn’t make that much? But he worked full-time and Shiganshina was a cheap place to live in. Levi was sure his job wasn’t as well paid as Eren’s and he could also live alone if he wanted to. “How the hell do you not make that much money?”

Eren shrugged and ran a hand through his messy hair. “Anyway, I have to go now. How about we do this again?” he suggested and smiled warmly. “I had a good time. You’re not as mean as everyone says you are.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “‘Everyone’? Do I have a reputation here in town?”

“Kind of.” Eren laughed, cheeks slightly pink and Levi’s expression softened. When Eren smiled or laughed like that it made him feel at ease. “It’s untrue, though.”

“If you say so. I don’t give a fuck about what other people say anyway.”

Eren nodded and put his hands in his jacket pockets. “If you want to have coffee again just ask,” he said. “We don’t have to come here. You probably don’t want to spend all your time at your workplace.”

“You’re right about that. I’m already regretting coming here,” Levi murmured. Annie and Marco had been looking at them ever so often. Lord knows what they were thinking about him now. At least Hanji wasn’t here today.

“Alright. Well, I’ve got to go now. I hope you have a nice day.” Eren smiled at him happily and left the bakery. Talking to Eren had been nice. The kid wasn’t so bad and Levi had enjoyed their time together. After some time Eren had opened up more, nothing had felt fake. All in all it had been…good.

After he had paid and went on his way back home he couldn’t help but look forward to the next time they went for some coffee. The kid really wasn’t that bad.

They went out for coffee five more times over the course of the next two weeks. When he talked to Eren, Levi found himself on the verge of smiling several times. He couldn’t help it. Eren was such an idiot sometimes. Originally he had wanted to get to know Eren better so he could figure out his secrets, but whenever he talked to him he suddenly forgot about it. Levi forgot that this was all part of his plan. It didn’t feel like an investigation anymore. No, it felt like he was just having coffee with someone he could maybe call a friend one day.

Unfortunately, his co-workers found out that he was spending more time with Eren, which resulted in Hanji teasing him endlessly about him changing his mind about the so-called ‘psychopath’. He tried to ignore her insufferable ramblings and even preferred Armin’s disapproving glances. Speaking of Armin, he wasn’t very happy about Levi’s and Eren’s new friendship.

“Eren likes you, so I hope you’re not doing this for what reason I suspect you are,” Armin had told him, hoping to sound intimidating and failing.

“How about you mind your own business. I didn’t give you a whole talk with the topic of how I feel about you and Erwin banging each other,” Levi had replied, causing Armin to blush and end the conversation.

Yeah, Armin wasn’t that happy about it. Too bad he didn’t give a shit.

At home he was also questioned by Erwin who was interested in his latest mood shift. Apparently he had gone from ‘pissed off Levi’ to ‘slightly less pissed off Levi’ as Erwin had so eloquently put it. Armin had told him he was spending time with Eren – and Armin seriously had to learn when to shut up – and his friend found it hilarious. Most likely because he had remembered when Levi had theorised Eren was a psychopath. Levi told him to give it a rest or he’d tell Armin embarrassing things Erwin had done back at university and thankfully that shut him up.

So what if he was getting to know Eren better? It wasn’t like he hated the guy. He was actually beginning to take a liking to him. Levi no longer thought he was a psychopath. Although, psychopaths were usually smart and Eren could be manipulating him… No, that couldn’t be it. Levi wasn’t letting himself be manipulated.

Eren wasn’t a psychopath, but a deeply troubled young man. That was the impression Levi had got. Over time Eren had opened up to him more, letting him see parts of who he truly was. It made him feel more human. At first he had felt unreal, like a robot, a machine that only did what it was programmed to do. Every smile had been done in a calculated manner, every gesture deliberate to make others perceive him in a certain way. That was no longer the case, at least when it was just the two of them.

When they were talking to each other, making fun of the other and telling stories everything seemed fine. Levi even forgot about his reason for pursuing a friendship with Eren, forgot about his public façade and simply enjoyed their time together. They just…clicked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this story/chapter, please leave a comment! They make this silly guy (me) smile like an idiot.


	7. Insomnia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiganshina looked so different at night, almost eerie. Everyone was asleep except for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the first part of the story.

_If they don’t shut up in the next five minutes I’m going to kill someone._

The house Erwin and Levi lived in was nice. It wasn’t falling apart, there were enough windows and it wasn’t too large. However, one thing had become very clear these past few weeks. The walls were too thin.

Thoroughly pissed off Levi changed his position again, the blanket sliding down his torso as he laid down onto his back, glaring at the ceiling. He had an early shift the next day – a quick look at his alarm clock confirmed that it was already the next day – and of course Erwin had decided to let Armin stay the night. Fucking perfect. It wasn’t that he disliked Armin being here. He didn’t have anything against him. Erwin could’ve got together with someone much worse. His co-worker was a smart young man who knew when to shut up most of the time. The keyword being most of the time, because right now he couldn’t shut his fucking mouth.

“ _You didn’t actually do that, did you?”_ Levi heard Armin laugh and one of his eyebrows twitched.

“ _I did. I’ll have to take you to one of our dinners sometime. We could make fun of everyone there.”_

Oh yes, that was a wonderful idea, Erwin. Or it would be a wonderful one if he hadn’t had it at one o’clock in the bloody morning! Levi groaned and grabbed the pillow, putting it over his head, hoping he’d suffocate so he wouldn’t have to listen to them anymore. By themselves the two didn’t talk all that much, but put them together and they were a nightmare.

Getting sleep had always been difficult for Levi. He couldn’t turn his brain off. His thoughts kept him up at night, preventing him from experiencing some peace. If he got more than five hours of sleep at night it was a miracle. Although he used to only get about two or three, so he had had some major improvement, but with these two idiots talking for hours on end it looked like it was going to be one of those nights.

Suddenly he realised that the voices had faded away, leaving him to relish the silence. It was music to his ears. Finally he could get some sleep. Levi relaxed, removing the pillow from his face, no longer on the verge of killing himself or other people. At last Erwin and Armin had decided to and catch some sleep themselves. Now he could sleep without any disturbances in his comfortable bed, forget about the world for a while and simply rest. Levi closed his eyes and waited till the darkness engulfed him.

And then he heard a moan.

_No._

Levi sat up, instantly recognising the sound. It was the sound of two people who were about to fuck.

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” he said to himself and he knew he had to stop this right now, before things escalated and he’d be scarred for the rest of his life. Another moan broke through the silence, one which unmistakeably belonged to Erwin. No, he was absolutely not going to sit through this.

Levi turned around and banged against the wall separating their rooms. “If you don’t stop right now I’m going to come over there and rip someone’s dick off!” he shouted, letting his fist hit the wall a few more times for good measure before stopping.

Silence.

“Thank fuck,” Levi muttered, hoping he wouldn’t be disturbed again or they’d feel his wrath. He could only imagine how embarrassed Armin must be at the moment. It served him right. If they wanted to bang they could wait till he wasn’t in the house. Erwin was most likely laughing to himself. The man was shameless. Levi thought back to when he had been at university and sighed. Yes, Erwin truly was a man with no shame whatsoever.

Deciding to dismiss these unpleasant thoughts he laid back down, letting out a long sigh. It was time to catch some sleep. He closed his eyes, pulling the blanket up to cover himself. No sound cut through the silence and it seemed Armin and Erwin had truly stopped whatever they had been doing. It was best not to dwell what exactly that had been.

Levi shifted, now laying on his side. He pushed the blanket off him, the warmth suddenly insufferable. Yes, it was much better this way. Although, his feet were kind of cold…

For an hour Levi constantly changed positions without ever getting truly comfortable. No matter what he did, he simply couldn’t fall asleep. It was too warm, then it was too cold or the pillow was in the wrong position. Sleep simply wouldn’t come to him. He felt restless and after spending _another_ hour trying to fall asleep he gave up. He wasn’t going to get any sleep that night.

He heaved himself up to his feet and got dressed. Perhaps he simply needed some fresh air. Quietly he walked down the hallway so as not to disturb the others – a courtesy they hadn’t granted him. Levi shut the door behind him as he stepped outside, the cool autumn air hitting his face and he put his hands in his coat’s pockets. There wasn’t a soul to be seen as he walked down the street, the street lights illuminating his way. At night the town gave off a different vibe. It was normally quiet, too, but not like this. It was eerie, walking through the empty town all alone. Fog was forming, covering the ground and Levi looked at other houses. No lights were on, everyone else was asleep.

Levi took a quick look at his phone, sighing when he saw it was half past three. Work was going to be a nightmare today. Hopefully he wouldn’t fall asleep. He pitied whoever shared the shift with him. They were not going to have a pleasant time.

As he wandered through town he thought back to the times he had done the same thing in Trost. Taking walks at night had been a common occurrence for him back then. It hadn’t been a safe thing to do and he had had the odd incident, but it had been the only way to clear his mind. However, even that hadn’t helped him in the long run and led him to leaving his old life behind. Only Erwin had remained. He had always supported and helped him. No matter how much Levi had fucked up, he had stayed by his side. Without him he would have ended up in the gutter.

It was funny how much his life had changed since coming to Shiganshina. Waking up wasn’t as hard as it used to be, the people here were nicer than back in Trost and Levi…he could see himself living here for a longer time. Back when Erwin and him had moved in he had had his doubts, but they had been unjustified after all. He didn’t regret leaving Trost. Erwin had been his only true friend back then, all the others had rejected him, left him behind when he couldn’t live up to their expectations. Levi couldn’t imagine Hanji doing that to him. She never stopped talking to him and he had a feeling he’d be stuck with her for a long time. Which was fine by him. He’d never tell her that, of course, otherwise she would truly never shut up.

And Eren would never reject him. The guy had wanted to be friends with him since the very beginning. The two got along better than Levi had ever thought they would. Thinking about Eren used to involve obsessing over what was going on behind the scenes, but now that was no longer the case, not for the most part anyway. Eren himself was on his mind, not his problems, not his failures, just Eren.

What was it about him that made Levi spend so much time thinking about him? Even when he wasn’t thinking about why he felt the need to pretend he was someone he was not, Eren interested him. When he was talking to him, teasing him, making him smile it-

“-nother kid? That’s the second one this year.”

Levi stopped dead in his tracks when he heard a deep voice to his right. It had come from the alleyway a few metres ahead of him and Levi was on the verge of simply passing by it, but something held him back.

“Yeah. You know how it is, some of them can’t handle it,” a voice said, this one belonging to a woman. Making his decision Levi hid around the corner and listened in on their conversation.

The other person – a man – laughed. “I can’t believe the parents buy their shit. What do they think happened, that they actually had an accident? People are so dumb.”

“All the better for us,” the woman replied. “As long as they don’t press charges I don’t care about what they think. By the way, why did you tell me to meet you here? Just to tell me the kid killed himself?”

Levi’s heart was pounding in his chest as he listened, trying to make sense of what they were saying. A kid had committed suicide?

“No. We’ve been thinking about raising the fees. We still need to- Did you hear that?”

_Fuck!_

Levi fished his vibrating phone out of his pocket and turned it off, not bothering to look who was calling him. He heard heavy footsteps and decided to make a run for it. Adrenaline was pumping through his body as he dashed down the street, turning round the corner, hoping they weren’t following him, not that they were likely to be able to catch up to him. He had always been a fast runner. It didn’t sound like they were following him, but one could never be too careful.

However, after a while he had to stop, his side aching painfully and he gasped for breath. Who were these people? Levi listened for any indication that they were searching for him and when he couldn’t hear anything he let himself relax a little. Whatever he had overheard, it hadn’t been good. He wasn’t able to make sense of what they had been discussing, but it left him with a sense of dread.

 

* * *

 

When Levi walked into Sawney and Bean’s three hours later he was still thinking about his strange encounter. What could they have been talking about? Which kid had killed himself? And why? He saw Marco already going through the register and was greeted when the freckled man noticed he had arrived.

“It looks like you didn’t get that much sleep,” he commented and Levi stared, challenging him to say more about his appearance, but Marco got the message and busied himself with preparing for the day.

Said day passed slowly for Levi. Not even the customers could distract him from his own thoughts. He shouldn’t dwell on what he had overheard any longer, it wasn’t any of his business anyhow and yet he couldn’t shake the feeling that it was important. It was only when Eren entered the bakery that he was pulled out of his thoughts.

They greeted each other and talked while Levi gave him what he wanted. Over the course of the last two months they had got to know each other better and Levi considered them friends. Although, when they were talking in public like this, surrounded by others Eren was still not willing to let go of his mask, a fact that truly bothered Levi. No matter how much progress he thought he was making, the kid was still acting fake most of the time.

“We’re still going for some coffee later today, right?” Eren asked, taking his bag from Levi.

“Yes, we are. I might take a nap before that,” he said, the lack of sleep noticeable when he took longer than usual to give Eren his change.

The kid laughed. “That might be a good idea. I’ll be off then. Have a nice day, Levi. Bye, Marco!” he smiled and left, Levi’s mood instantly worsening again. There went his distraction.

“You’re good friends now, aren’t you?” Marco said. “You’ve been going out for some coffee for a while now.”

Levi narrowed his eyes. “What are you trying to say, Marco?”

“Nothing,” was the reply in a far too innocent tone. “I just… Well, you always perk up whenever he’s here.”

“Funny, I recall the same thing happening when Jean comes in,” Levi remarked, watching in satisfaction when Marco’s ears turned red.

“Wh-what are you saying?” Marco stammered.

“I don’t know, what am I saying?”

His co-worker chose not to reply, a smart move on his part. Marco had no idea what he was talking about. So what if Eren managed to make his day less awful? That only meant he wasn’t as much of an idiot as everyone else was. He continued working with Marco who was avoiding talking to him and Levi knew his assumption had been right. It was rather baffling that Marco had a thing for Jean, at least Levi thought so, but to each their own.

Hopefully Marco wouldn’t try to insinuate anything was going on between Eren and him again. It was ridiculous. As if he’d develop feelings for that idiot. The only good things he had going for him were his humour, his good looks, his ability to cheer him up, draw him into a conversation and make him forget about all the bad things in life. There were plenty of things wrong with him. Plenty. So many in fact that the sheer amount led him to be unable to think of one right now. His faults were simply too overwhelming.

Scowling, he served the next customer, not caring if she found him rude or not. Yes, there was no possible way he could ever develop any feelings for Eren. There was no way he _had_ any feelings for Eren. Ridiculous. Marco had no fucking idea what he was talking about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Marco.
> 
> Please leave a comment if you like this story/chapter!!!


	8. Withdrawal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I really like you. When I'm with you I feel..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I never expected this story to get over 100 kudos and 1000 hits! Thank you all so much! Your comments really motivate me and make me smile like an idiot.  
> Also, shit is going to hit the fan soon and I'm pretty excited...

“Armin told me he’s together with someone, but he won’t tell me who she is!” Eren complained. They were currently sitting in a small restaurant not far away from Sawney and Bean’s. The interior was modern and looked as expensive as it actually was. At first Eren had told Levi eating here was too costly, but Levi had assured him he would pay for it. Eating some good food at last was worth the price in his opinion.

“Oh?” Levi found it odd that Armin hadn’t told his best friend yet who he was dating. The two had been together for three months now. “Why won’t he tell you?”

“I don’t know. He’s really secretive about it. Maybe he’s worried I won’t like her?” Eren took another bite from his meal and swallowed. “This is so good,” he mumbled before continuing. “I don’t think he needs to worry about that, though. Armin is a good judge of character.”

Eren didn’t know Armin was gay. Or was he bisexual? Levi had no idea. All he knew was that he was fucking his best friend. “I know who he’s dating,” he said and raised his wine glass to his lips.

“What?!” Eren looked at him, green eyes widening almost comically. “You need to tell me who it is!”

Oh, he was going to enjoy this. He took a sip and put the glass down onto the table. “Why should I? If Armin doesn’t want to tell you then he surely expects me to keep quiet, too.”

“Oh come on!” Eren huffed and Levi saw that he was pouting like a child. “At least tell me if she’s pretty!”

“Very pretty.” Levi couldn’t hold back the chuckle that escaped him. Erwin would definitely kill him if he knew that he had described him as pretty.

“I’m sure she’s smart, too. Armin would never date someone who’s dumb,” Eren muttered, lost in thought for a moment before continuing. “What’s she like? Please, tell me just a few things.” When Eren looked at him like this he couldn’t refuse.

“Well, she’s taller than Armin.”

“That’s not very hard. Armin’s pretty short.”

“Oi, I’m shorter than him.” Levi narrowed his eyes at Eren who only looked at him amused. “I know. It’s not my fault that you’re a bit of a midget.”

“Fucking brat.”

Who would’ve known Eren could be such a little shit? It was odd how much he had changed since Levi had started talking to him. He was letting more of his true personality show, but only around him. When he saw him in public he still behaved like he was an angel. Levi couldn’t help but feel smug about the fact that he was the only one who got to see him like this.

“So she’s taller than him. And? Anything else?” Eren was leaning forward in anticipation.

“She’s smart. She’s also kind of strict.” However, Levi had a feeling that Erwin wasn’t the one who was wearing the pants in their relationship. He was going to tease Erwin about that a lot. “I’m not telling you any more.”

Eren’s pout grew more pronounced and he whined about how unfair Levi was being. Like he actually gave a shit. No, Eren could figure this out on his own. “Let’s just say… You might be surprised about who it is,” he smirked and Eren crossed his arms, most likely unsatisfied with the information he had been given. The kid should be glad Levi had even told him anything about Armin’s boyfriend.

While Eren was busy pouting, Levi finished his meal and wiped his mouth with a napkin. Ever since he had started spending more time with Eren, Erwin had been saying he looked happier. He wanted to deny his claim, but it was true. Levi did feel better. Talking to Eren was entertaining as all hell. Despite his public demeanour the kid wasn’t always nice. He occasionally made fun of Levi and could be quite rude. He was also passionate about the things he liked. If Eren wasn’t busy with work he often went to Stohess’ zoo. He loved ocean creatures and frequently gushed about sea life to Levi.

And unlike so many other people Levi had the misfortune of knowing, Eren was interesting. Levi knew that he was a very complex person and wondered how much his hidden problems contributed to that. Also, riling him up was Levi’s new hobby. When Eren was at ease and not faking anything he wore his emotions on his sleeve.

“This is kind of weird, isn’t it?” Eren suddenly said, eyes downcast. “I thought you hated me at first and now we’ve regularly been getting coffee and going out to eat together for about three months.”

“I didn’t hate you.”

_I just thought you were creepy as all hell and a psychopath._

Levi of course didn’t voice his thoughts.

Eren chuckled and smiled, but it looked sad. “If you say so. I-I really like these times. I look forward to spending time with you,” he told him. “It’s always the highlight of my week or day.”

“Talking to you isn’t so bad,” Levi said and enjoyed seeing Eren’s smile lose its sadness. “You’re alright.”

“Coming from you that’s a real compliment,” Eren replied and shifted in his seat. Why was he nervous all of a sudden? Maybe because this was the first time the two had actually gone to a real restaurant. Levi had suggested going here, because he was sick and tired of eating sub-par food. It was also the only nice restaurant he knew in town. Hm, come to think of it, this was a bit strange. They were sitting in a restaurant together at a table, just the two of them and it was getting late.

Wait, was Eren nervous because he thought this was a date? Did he think Levi had asked him out on one? He noticed the slight blush present on Eren’s face and how he wasn’t meeting his eyes. Now that he thought about it, that would actually make sense. All his actions would lead anyone to believe this was a date. Shit. He hadn’t even realised what he had done. All Levi had wanted was to eat some decent food. That was it. And yet, he didn’t exactly dislike the idea of them being on a date. He should, but he didn’t. The age gap didn’t bother him. Stuff like that had never fazed him. As long as someone was legal it was fine by him. No, he should object to the idea of them being on a date because…

Levi didn’t like dating, or no longer liked it. Last time he had been in a relationship it had backfired spectacularly. However, maybe it would be different with Eren. He hoped it would be. He no longer thought of Eren as some kind of suspect. Levi had got rid of that thought two months ago and had admitted to himself that he thought of him as someone he enjoyed spending time with.

And now they were on what other people would call a date, kind of by accident, but it still was one. Levi even begrudgingly accepted the possibility that he had subconsciously taken Eren out on a date. He could do worse. Eren was an attractive young man and he wasn’t fazed at all by Levi’s bluntness. Their conversations were never boring, making Levi pay attention to Eren’s words and he found himself talking quite a lot, at least more than he normally would. He just enjoyed spending time with him in general.

Oh no. Levi realised that he wasn’t just physically attracted to Eren. Fuck, this wasn’t good. He had sworn to himself he wouldn’t get into another relationship again. Relationships meant pain, nothing else.

“Levi, I like you a lot,” Eren said and Levi turned his attention towards him again. There it was. Now Eren was going to ask him if he wanted to be his boyfriend or something like that. Levi wanted to be apathetic, but his sped up heartbeat said he was anything but.

“When I’m with you I-”

He paused and Levi felt his mouth go dry. Was Eren going to say it? The kid couldn’t seriously- no. Levi was only letting his imagination run wild. But why was the thought making his heart beat so fast? This wasn’t good. Levi was friends with Eren, that was it. But what-

“I feel sick.”

“…what?” Levi’s eyes widened at his words. Maybe he had misheard him? Yes. That was it.

“When I’m with you I feel sick,” Eren repeated, voice low. “I also feel good. I feel happy, at ease. But I feel sick, too. I know that this is wrong.”

Why was he saying this? How could he feel sick when he was happy? His words didn’t make any sense.

“What the fuck are you going on about?” Levi asked, completely lost.

Eren smiled at him again, his eyes sad. “I’m sick, Levi, and when I’m with you my sickness becomes even more apparent. I-I’ve made a huge mistake. I should never have agreed to get some coffee with you.” His normally tan face was white, posture tense and his breathing was laboured.

“What are you talking about? Eren, what’s going on?” Levi asked concerned. Eren looked like he was going to have a panic attack.

“I’m sorry, I need to go. I-I’m sorry.”

He looked panicked and Levi grabbed his wrist when he got up, preventing him from running. “Tell me what’s going on. Why do you feel sick? Was it something I did?” Levi asked confused.

“No. You didn’t. Please, I can’t lose.” Levi saw Eren’s eyes shining with unshed tears and he let go in fear of accidentally hurting him.

“I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I really like you, Levi.” Eren blinked a few times, trying to keep the tears at bay. He looked awful, the usual fire in his eyes gone and Levi had no idea what to do. He had no idea what the problem was. What could Eren not lose? His words didn’t make sense to him.

Levi opened his mouth to say something, anything to calm Eren down and stop him from leaving, but no words came out. Nothing came to mind. Eren smiled sadly at him and Levi saw some tears escaping his eyes. His chest ached when he saw him this way. Why wasn’t he saying anything? Why was this happening?

_Get yourself together! Tell him he isn’t sick, calm him down, do something! Anything!_

But he didn’t. He just watched Eren gather his things, watched him put some money on the table despite having been told Levi would pay for everything, while he didn’t do anything.

  


Eren left.

  


Levi ignored the looks some of the other customers were giving him. He was still processing what had just happened. Everything had been going so well up to this point. Eren had opened up to him a bit. They had even become friends and Levi had taken quite a liking to him. Hell, they had practically been on a date. And now…

The empty seat in front of Levi seemed accusatory, telling him he could have prevented this. If he had only said something to him. If only he had known what was wrong. These past months had been nice. Work hadn’t been awful, Erwin and he had managed to live together without having an argument every few days and Eren…Eren had turned out to be a young man who was not afraid of Levi, who knew how to make him laugh and smile. Gone were the awful thoughts about him. What remained was worry. Levi still didn’t know why Eren felt the need to live a lie. He still didn’t know what had happened to him. Even after all these months Levi had actually accomplished nothing.

  


He walked home alone.


	9. Setback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Mr. Ackerman? Since when do you call me that?"

Levi didn’t see Eren at Sawney and Bean’s the next week. This was the first time since Levi had started working at Hanji’s pastry shop that Eren hadn’t shown up at one of his shifts. For a whole week Levi didn’t see Eren and had to admit that it was a bit worrying. He would often catch himself looking at the door when another customer came in, expecting it to be him.

Why wasn’t he showing up? Did he not want to see Levi anymore? But he had said he liked him. They were friends. Eren’s words came to mind again, about how he felt sick when he was with Levi. Why would he feel sick? It-

“ _You’re sick! Oh my God, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this!” He tried to take her hand, but she recoiled in disgust. “Don’t touch me! Fuck, I can’t believe you tricked me!”_

“ _I didn’t trick you. There never was any need to tell you. Besides, it shouldn’t change anything between us,” he told her, taken aback by her reaction._

_She laughed without any hint of humour in her voice. “You’re really something. Do you think this is okay? You kept this from me all this time! Just thinking about it makes me sick. You’re sick, Levi!” she shrieked, her usual beautiful face twisted in anger. “I bet you’ve been sleeping behind my back, haven’t you?”_

“ _I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about. Just calm down,” Levi said, taking a step towards her, not reacting fast enough to avoid her fist._

“Are you okay?” Levi came back to reality when Marco touched his shoulder, looking at him with eyes full of worry.

“I’m fine,” he said, shrugging his hand off. Why was he remembering this now? He didn’t want to think about it. He ignored Marco’s staring and continued cleaning the table. After moving to Shiganshina he had sworn to himself he’d leave all that behind, suppress any memories he had of her and move on. But now that he had remembered her, he wondered if Eren… No, Eren wasn’t like that. He couldn’t be like that.

Next Monday came around and when Eren still didn’t show up, Levi decided to ask Armin where he was. Despite the fact that his colleague thought he was stalking his friend he told Levi that Eren was out of town, but was coming back tomorrow. The news caught him off guard. Eren had left Shiganshina? He couldn’t help but think that this wasn’t a coincidence, that he left after their disastrous date.

New questions popped up while he thought about him. If Eren wasn’t in town, then who was working at the Jaegers’ clinic instead of him right now? Levi was surprised his father had even given him time off to suddenly leave for a week. And why hadn’t Eren told him that he was leaving? Did he not want to talk to him anymore? And where did he go to anyway? Instead of finding answers Levi was permanently confronted with new questions.

The next day Levi didn’t have to work and for the first time he wasn’t grateful for the break. What if Eren showed up today? He didn’t know at what time he’d be back in town, but he was a frequent customer so the chances of him being there were pretty high. Although, if he really was avoiding him then maybe he wouldn’t go to Sawney and Bean’s today. Levi also didn’t want to wait at the bakery on the off-chance that Eren showed up.

However, after being away for a whole week Eren was bound to be at work again and if he wasn’t then Levi could just leave again. God, if Erwin knew he was obsessing over Armin’s best friend like this he’d get an earful like no other. To other people it may seem like he was stalking him, but that wasn’t the case. Levi didn’t feel like this qualified as stalking. He was only concerned.

With that in mind he got on his way to Grisha Jaeger’s clinic. Even if Eren didn’t want to see him he simply had to make sure everything was alright. The kid had been close to a panic attack the last time he had seen him.

_Why am I so concerned anyway? It’s not like… Well, maybe it is like that._

“I hope you have a nice day,” Levi heard a familiar voice say when he opened the door.

Eren was sitting at the receptionist’s desk and writing on a computer. Just seeing him took some weight off Levi’s shoulders. He hadn’t noticed him so far which gave Levi an opportunity to simply watch him silently. Normally he didn’t get a chance to see him like this. Eren was always talking to someone when he saw him. Now he was quiet and concentrated on his work.

Like always he was well-dressed, something Levi appreciated. His chocolate brown hair was as messy as ever, though. He wondered what it would look like tamed and cut shorter. However, Levi liked it like this. It was a reminder that Eren wasn’t perfect, no matter how much he tried to be. Eren opened a drawer and took what looked like a some sort of sweet out of it, unwrapped it and popped it into his mouth, eyes closing briefly in appreciation of the taste and wet his lips with his tongue. Levi couldn’t help but notice how shiny his pink lips looked.

_Now that I’m thinking about it, he really doesn’t look half bad. I wonder-_

Before he could finish his thought he was interrupted by Eren who gave a surprised yelp which caused him to choke on his candy. He started coughing and his face was red by the time he recovered.

“Oh, Mr. Ackerman! You startled me a bit there,” Eren said, looking embarrassed. He smiled at him, the kind of smile Levi didn’t like. It didn’t reach his eyes. “Why are you here? Is something wrong?”

“Mr. Ackerman? Since when do you call me that?” Levi asked. “And no, I just wanted to see you. I was a bit surprised when Armin told me you went away for a week,” Levi replied and Eren sighed, mumbling something, but Levi couldn’t understand him.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t inform you. It was pretty sudden.” Eren was avoiding looking him directly in the eye.

Levi crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “What kind of trip was that anyway?”

Eren was still not looking at him. “I’m afraid that I can’t tell you.” he said quietly.

“Why are you talking like that? Eren-”

The phone rang and Eren quickly answered the call, leaving Levi to stare at him. Why wouldn’t he tell him? He deserved to know! Well, maybe it really wasn’t any of his business, but he wanted to know. He needed to know. Why would Eren suddenly leave town for a week? If it was something normal he would tell him, but he wasn’t talking.

When the call ended Eren turned towards him again and sighed. “Mr. Ackerman. If you aren’t here to see my father or for any medication, I’m afraid you’ll have to leave.”

“I’m here to make sure you’re fine,” Levi replied, getting increasingly more pissed off. “And cut the bullshit. You’ve never called me Mr. Ackerman before.”

“Ah, yes. I am sorry about that,” Eren said with another smile, but it held no warmth. “I will try to do that from now on. I didn’t know my place. I apologise.”

When Levi looked at him now he was reminded of the first times he had seen Eren. Back then he had had a bad feeling about him. It was the same now. The smiles were fake, everything he said sounded odd and forced. It felt unnatural. It was a stark contrast to the last time he had seen him.

“Listen, you can stop with this crap. There’s no one here who can hear us,” Levi said. The people in the waiting room were too far away. “Stop acting like this.”

Eren tilted his head. “I don’t think I understand. I’m always like this,” he told him and the way he said it sounded almost convincing. He’d buy it if he didn’t know him better.

“No, you’re not,” he replied, moving closer to him. “And you know that, too. Why are you being like this? Is it because of what happened last week?” he asked.

“It’s good that you reminded me. I’m afraid I must stop associating with you.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Hearing those words coming from Eren was like a slap in the face. Why would he say that? Why was he acting like this? It felt like they had never been friends. Was this happening because Eren felt sick when he was with him?

“If you don’t have an appointment with my father or you don’t want one then I am afraid you have to leave, Mr. Ackerman.” Eren turned away from him and looked at his computer. How dare he dismiss him like this? First he made him worry and then he acted like a stuck-up bastard.

Levi could feel the anger rising within him and gritted his teeth. “I won’t leave until you tell me what the fuck is going on,” he hissed, patience quickly running out. “And stop calling me Mr. Ackerman.”

“That is your name, isn’t it?” Eren said, still looking at the computer.

In a flash of anger Levi slammed his hands onto the receptionist’s desk. “You listen to me, you fucking-”

“Eren?”

Levi turned to his right where he saw the door to Grisha Jaeger’s office suddenly opening and the man himself stepped out, looking rather displeased. “Is everything alright?” He eyed Levi who lowered his arms.

“Yes, everything’s fine!” Eren said and smiled at his father. “Mr. Ackerman was just leaving. He was only asking for some medication for his friend.” He looked at Levi with that disgusting smile that made his blood grow hotter.

“Actually, that isn’t true,” Levi replied and saw Eren flinch. Good. At least someone else knew now what a fucking liar he was.

Eren’s father looked at his son. “Is that so. Hm. Mr. Ackerman, why _are_ you here?” he asked him.

“I was here because your son gave me too much money back at the bakery. I was returning it to him,” Levi lied smoothly. It wasn’t like he could tell Eren’s father that he had been worried about Eren after his freak-out at their date.

“That’s not true!” Eren blurted out and Levi looked at him sharply. Grisha raised an eyebrow. “Are you insinuating that Mr. Ackerman is lying?”

“What? N-”

“What reason would he have to lie?” Eren’s father sighed. “Son, we’ve been over this.”

Levi smirked. Maybe it was a bit childish that he was satisfied that Eren was getting scolded by his father, but right now he didn’t care. He was pretty pissed off at him. Why was he pretending that they weren’t friends? Levi didn’t remember doing anything to warrant such a reaction. He just wanted to help him, for fuck’s sake.

“I’m sorry if my son has caused you any trouble,” Grisha said to him and Levi shook his head. “It’s fine.”

“It’s certainly not. He is still learning, but I’m sure after some more training he’ll do his job perfectly. What do you say, Eren?” He put a hand on his son’s shoulder.

“Okay,” Eren said quietly and Levi wondered if he shouldn’t have lied. He didn’t want to cause Eren any trouble with his job.

“It’s fine, really,” he told Grisha again. “I should go now. I still have things to do.” The atmosphere in the room had changed and Levi had a feeling that Eren’s father didn’t want him here. Something about this man didn’t sit right with him.

“I should also get back to work. I hope you have a nice day, Mr. Ackerman,” Grisha said and smiled, one hand still resting on Eren’s shoulder. Normally Levi would think that they looked like your typical father and son, a happy, small family, but the image of Grisha Jaeger standing behind his son, one hand on his shoulder while Eren was forcing a smile his way sent a shiver down Levi’s spine.

He turned around and left, knowing there was nothing he could say now that Eren’s father was here. Their conversation had to be continued another time, whether Eren wanted that or not. He wouldn’t let him off this easily. Levi would convince Eren to tell him what was going on by any means necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, I'm so excited about the next chapter (although also kinda nervous...) It's time, guys.
> 
> Thanks again for leaving kudos/a comment! I really enjoy reading your guys' thoughts/reactions!!!


	10. The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was probably illegal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of the turning point of the story. I have no idea how you guys will react. Enjoy. (also I changed the rating, but this has nothing to do with this chapter)

“Where the hell is he?” Levi grumbled. He was sprawled out on the sofa and waiting for Erwin to show up. They had one of their film nights tonight, a tradition they had kept from their university days, and Erwin was running late.

_He told me he’d be here by eight and now it’s nine. What is taking him so long?_

Levi’s mood was getting sourer by the second. If there was one thing he couldn’t stand it was being kept waiting. With a sigh he got up from the sofa and walked to the kitchen to make himself some tea. He put the kettle on the stove, thinking about what he’d say when Erwin finally showed up, when he heard the front door being opened. He rolled his eyes and walked out of the kitchen.

“You’d better have a good reason for being so la-”

“I think I have a good reason,” Erwin said and Levi opened his mouth to retort, but nothing came out. Erwin was standing in front of him, utterly soaked from the heavy rain outside, blond hair in disarray, and he was carrying Eren.

He was _carrying Eren_.

“What the fuck?” Levi finally managed to say, not sure if he was properly comprehending the sight before him. “Erwin?”

Said person laid Eren down on the sofa and sighed, pushing his wet hair out of his eyes. “I think film night is cancelled.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

Erwin walked to his room to change his clothes, telling Levi he had to get out of his wet clothes first before answering any of his questions, and Levi walked over to the sofa, trying to figure out what was going on. Eren was also drenched, his clothes sticking to his skin. He looked pale and there were dark circles under his eyes. He looked so different from when he had last seen him three days ago.

The kettle whistled and Erwin walked to the kitchen, now looking like his usual composed self, and switched off the stove. Levi heard water being poured into a mug and was handed his now finished tea which he gladly took. Now he really needed something to help him calm down.

They both sat down and Levi took a sip from his tea before looking at Erwin. “What happened?”

Erwin looked at Eren, brows furrowing. “I stopped by the supermarket on my way here and met Eren. He was at the register in front of me. We started talking, but he seemed…off. He kept spacing out. We both walked out of the supermarket and we were about to part ways when he collapsed.”

Levi put his mug down on the coffee table and crossed his legs. “Collapsed?” he asked.

“Yes. He fainted and I tried to wake him up. He did for a moment, kept mumbling something about a demon,” Erwin continued. “I didn’t know what he was going on about. Eren told me to not take him home. He begged me not to. I was thinking about calling a doctor when he fainted again, but the town doctor is his father and he didn’t want to go home, so…I decided against that.”

“And so you chose to take him with you,” Levi finished Erwin’s story and saw his friend nod. He honestly didn’t know how he felt about all this. Erwin’s actions did make sense, but would Eren appreciate what he had done when he woke up? Levi didn’t know what he’d do if he suddenly woke up in someone else’s house. Furthermore, he had no idea how Eren would react to seeing him. Lately they hadn’t been on the best of terms, with Eren even refusing to use his given name.

“I believe you.”

Levi looked at Erwin confused. “What?”

“I believe you. You said there was something wrong with him a few months ago and I dismissed your thoughts. I regret that, because I think you’re right now,” he said and smiled sadly. “I’m sorry.”

Erwin wasn’t a person who apologised a lot. They had known each other for about ten years now and Levi could only remember a handful of times when he had uttered those words. Erwin was always sure of himself, confident in his actions and so it was always a big deal when he apologised.

“ _I didn’t know. God, Levi, I should’ve noticed. I-I’m sorry.”_

Levi glanced at Eren who had moved a bit. “At least you finally realised what an idiot you are,” he grumbled. “Why did he not want to go home?”

“I don’t know, but he was very adamant about it. He looked afraid,” Erwin replied. “And he lives with his father, which leads me to believe that… Well, I think you know.”

Levi nodded and leaned back in his chair. Eren was afraid of his father. It was odd. Whenever he had come up in any of their conversations Eren had spoken fondly of him. Nothing he had said had ever suggested he was scared of him. But the atmosphere had changed when Grisha had appeared at the clinic. Eren had looked uncomfortable back then.

“Training…”

“What was that?” Erwin asked and Levi hesitated, unsure if his conclusion was right. “Eren’s father said something about putting Eren through some training. I didn’t think about it much, but now it could, well, training could mean many things. I thought it was about his job.”

“When did he say that?”

“I paid Eren a visit at the clinic three days ago. It was weird. He called me Mr. Ackerman and pretended like we didn’t know each other that well.” Levi was still pissed about that. What a dick.

Erwin raised an eyebrow. “That was after your date, wasn’t it?”

Levi kind of regretted telling Erwin about that. “Yes.” Thinking about their date – he still wasn’t sure if it really had been one, but it had felt like a date – always managed to put him in a sour mood. That had been a disaster. He would rather not think about it.

Levi looked at Eren when he stirred and saw him slowly open his eyes.

“Wha-?” Eren said quietly, sitting up. “Mr. Smith? Where am I?” he asked, voice raspy.

“You’re at our house,” Erwin replied and smiled. “I hope you don’t mind. You collapsed and told me not to take you home.”

“Your-” He noticed Levi and said person was sure he saw him narrow his eyes for a moment. “Oh, Mr. Ackerman.”

Eren was still looking at him, but Levi decided not to say anything. Of course he was worried, but he was also still offended by Eren’s latest actions and words. This wouldn’t suddenly change. Besides, he was still calling him by his surname. How irritating.

“It’s okay. I don’t- it’s fine,” Eren whispered and Erwin stood up to get him a glass of water. He gratefully accepted it and drank it all in one go and licked his lips. “Thank you. I- May I have another one?”

“Sure.”

While Erwin refilled his glass Eren stared at his hands in his lap and an uncomfortable silence grew between him and Levi. That had never happened to this extent before. Normally one of them knew what to say to the other, but Levi didn’t. What had happened at the restaurant had destroyed something. Levi couldn’t forget about Eren’s words.

“ _When I’m with you I feel sick.”_

Just like her.

“Here you go.” Erwin returned and Eren drank like he was close to dying of thirst. Some water escaped his mouth and he wiped it away with his sleeve, noticing he was drenched.

“Ah, I’m so sorry!” he exclaimed and quickly stood up. “I didn’t mean to soak your sofa! I’m really sorry!” He looked at them worried and Erwin shook his head. “It’s completely fine. I put you there, Eren. It’s no trouble.”

“Still, I’m sorry.” Eren looked unsure, shifting in place and playing with the sleeve of jacket. Levi rolled his eyes. It was like he was a kid.

“I really should get going,” he suddenly said. “I know I caused you trouble… But thank you for helping! I really appreciate it!” Eren smiled brilliantly and it was so fake that Levi was on the verge of gagging. A quick glance at Erwin told him he was also not buying it.

“Take a seat,” he said and Eren frowned. “Uhm, I said I should go, so-”

“Take. A seat,” Erwin repeated, expression unreadable. His sudden serious nature clearly caught Eren off-guard, but he chose not to do the stupid thing and sat back down. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

Erwin sat up straighter and Levi knew what was coming. He’d been through this before. It was one of Erwin’s famous Talks. This was going to be interesting.

“Yes, there is. I’m not letting you leave before you tell us what is wrong,” Erwin said and Eren laughed nervously. “You’re not serious,” he chuckled and looked at him, laughter quickly dying down. “You’re…”

“I am serious.”

Eren’s eyes widened and he glanced at Levi who didn’t let any emotion show on his face. He wasn’t going to get him out of this, not that he wanted to. No, it was time for Eren to tell them what was going on.

“You can’t do that.”

“I can and I will,” Erwin told him and leaned forward. “Eren, why didn’t you want to go home?”

Levi watched him cross his arms, his whole posture becoming defensive. “I just didn’t.” The urge to roll his eyes was overwhelming, but Levi refrained from doing so.

“You begged me not to take you home. Why? You collapsed. My first thought was to call a doctor, but I didn’t. Maybe I should’ve done that,” Erwin said.

Eren bit his lower lip and shook his head. “No. I…I…”

“For fuck’s sake.” Levi seriously had enough of Eren’s constant deflection. He was sick and tired of it all. “Open your goddamn mouth, Jaeger! Can’t you see that we want to help you? Are you that dense?” He glared at him, waiting for an angry reaction, wanting Eren to give up on his fake persona.

“There’s nothing wrong. I’m fine.”

That was it. He had had enough.

Levi stood up and took Eren by the collar, pulling him up, ignoring Erwin’s warning to stop. “I’m giving you one other chance to tell me what the fuck is going on,” he said calmly, although he was anything but. “Use it.”

Eren tried to loosen Levi’s grip on him, but failed. He stared into his eyes, his own filled with what Levi perceived to be fear and when he looked away it was clear what he was going to do.

“I can’t.”

It had been a while since Levi had let his emotions rule him like this. For the most part he considered himself a rational person, but there were times when he couldn’t help himself, when his anger made him lash out. This was one of those times.

When his fist made contact with Eren’s cheek he heard Erwin shout his name, but Eren didn’t cry out in pain. He simply took the punch. He didn’t let the pain show on his face. It should alarm Levi, but instead it only made him angrier. The next punch made Eren’s head snap back from the force and he was separated from him by Erwin.

“What are you doing?!” he shouted at him. “You didn’t need to hit him!”

“Without threatening him he won’t talk!” Levi replied angrily, staring up at him. “Some people need the pain!”

Erwin’s expression hardened. “And you think he’s one of them? Just think for a second! Why do you think he’s afraid of his father? Did it not cross your mind that maybe he’s experiencing enough pain at home?”

“That’s-”

“What good will it do if you hit him? Do you feel better now? Was it satisfying?” Erwin asked him. “You of all people should know what it’s like.”

Levi looked away, fists clenched so tightly his knuckles were white. “Stop.” He didn’t want to think about it. Had punching Eren felt satisfying? Yes. He was so sick of all his lies, of his fake smiles, of him thinking he could handle whatever what was happening to him alone. It had felt good. He wanted to do it again.

“ _I’m so sorry! Oh no, I didn’t mean to do that!” She touched his cheek, tears in her eyes. “You’ve got to stop lying to me. Okay? I don’t want to hurt you. Promise me.”_

“ _I promise.”_

“Fuck.” Levi sat back down in his chair, running his hands down his face. No, he didn’t want to do it again. He wasn’t like that. His anger was gone and all that remained was regret. What had he been thinking? Punching Eren like that…knowing that he had problems with his father.

He felt sick.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Erwin said and sighed. “It was uncalled for. I-”

“You’re a real bastard, you know that?”

Levi looked up to see Eren touching his jaw. His eyes had lost any warmth within them as he stared at him. He had never seen this expression before. “So what, you want to keep me here and beat me up? Is that what you want?” he asked them, posture tense. “I don’t need your help. I don’t need anyone worrying about me. So you can both fuck off and leave me alone,” he snarled. “I never asked for your help.”

Erwin stared at him, clearly taken aback by his words. “Eren? What-”

“Just leave me alone and mind your own business!” Eren yelled.

This wasn’t the Eren he knew. This wasn’t the guy who had a smile for everyone, who always gave up his seat for his elders, who greeted everyone in town when he passed them by. No, this was Eren Jaeger like he truly was. This was the person under the mask.

And seeing him like this, seeing him without any of his masks on, without his walls up, was _exhilarating_.

Erwin regained his composure first and tried to diffuse the situation. “We don’t want to hurt you, Eren. It was an accident,” he said in a calm manner. “We only want to help you.”

“I don’t need your help,” he replied angrily, green eyes darting towards the door and Levi sprang up from his chair just as Eren started moving. He tackled him to the floor and Eren cried out, trying to push Levi off of him, but he wasn’t going to let him run away. No, he was going to talk.

“Let me go!” Eren shouted from under him, his arms twisted painfully behind his back by Levi. Meanwhile Erwin had walked to the front door and locked it, shaking his head at the sight of them both on the floor. “I really wish we could’ve done that differently.”

_Me too._

Eren was thrashing about under him like an animal, desperately trying to escape. Levi didn’t want to do it this way. He had thought that maybe Eren would tell him on his own accord, but if he escaped now he would never talk to him again.

Erwin crouched down in front of them and looked at Eren. “We want to help you, so calm down.”

“This is what you consider helping?” he hissed, staring at the blond with hatred in his eyes. “Fuck you.”

They continued looking at each other and Levi felt Eren relax after another minute. He had probably realised he couldn’t win against both of them. Any trust he had gained from Eren was most likely gone now. This realisation hurt more than it should.

“So you’re going to keep me here?” Eren asked, voice calmer but the anger still present. Levi loosened his grip, confident he wouldn’t try to escape. He saw him look at the key in Erwin’s hand.

“Don’t even think about it,” Levi said and Eren glared at him over his shoulder. He used to look at him with such a soft expression. Now there was only anger and sadness. He felt betrayed by him. Levi had to look away.

“Until you talk, yes,” Erwin answered his question and Eren started laughing. “You really are horrible people, you know that?” he said. “Fuck, I’m so screwed.” He was still laughing and it was the most horrible sound Levi had ever heard. It sounded so unlike any laugh he had ever heard. It was wrong, twisted. It sounded insane.

Erwin looked at him and Levi could see how confused he was. His friend had believed for months that Eren was perfectly normal and seeing him act so differently, hearing him talk like that must be a real shock. Not that Levi was doing any better.

Slowly Eren’s laughter changed. It was interrupted by harsh intakes of breath and sobs. His face was pressed to the ground and Levi felt his shoulders shake. He was crying. “Eren?” Erwin asked and the young man only cried harder, his sobs resonating throughout the room.

“I-I’m going to die,” he cried and Levi let him go and stood up, trying to comprehend why his mood had changed so quickly. What was wrong with him?

“I don’t-don’t wanna die.” Eren didn’t move from his position on the floor and Erwin stretched out his arm to touch him, but hesitated, unsure of himself. Levi had never seen him so uneasy before. Except maybe that one time.

Erwin put his hand on Eren’s shoulder and Eren flinched, moving away from his touch and he sat up. His eyes were red and swollen, cheeks stained with tears. Levi’s throat constricted at the sight. He had never thought he’d see him like this.

“Why are you going to die?” Erwin asked and Eren’s shoulders shook again, new tears spilling from his eyes. “I lost c-control.” His voice cracked and he bit his lip. “I’m sorry. Please, I-I didn’t- I don’t want to go back,” he sobbed. “Don’t make me go back. I’ll be good!” He suddenly leaped forward, gripping Erwin’s shoulders, staring at him wide-eyed. “Don’t tell him! I’ll be good, I promise! I’m a good person!”

Levi stepped forward, unsure what Eren was going to do next. Right now he couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t going to hurt him. Erwin glanced at him and then looked back at Eren. “Who? Who shouldn’t I tell?” he asked.

“He-if he knows I’ll- I can’t do it again.” Eren took short, harsh breaths and his eyes looked unfocused.

“You have to calm down,” Erwin said. “Eren, focus on me, okay? Calm down. It’s fine. I won’t tell him. We won’t tell him.”

Levi watched as Erwin tried to calm Eren. Without Erwin here he wouldn’t know what he’d do. He had no idea how to handle this situation. Slowly but surely Eren was quieting down and he let go of Erwin who sighed in relief. The crying had also stopped and Eren wiped away his tears with his sleeve.

“Alright. How about you get out of your wet clothes?” Erwin suggested. “And I’ll make you some tea? Coffee?”

Eren was staring at the ground and Levi wasn’t sure if he was going to respond, but then he heard him ask for tea in a low voice. Erwin smiled at him encouragingly. “I’ll get you some of my clothes. They’re going to be too large, but Levi’s are far too short.”

“Very funny,” Levi rolled his eyes. He watched Erwin walk to his room and Eren stood up, looking like a mess. What were they going to do with him? Was he even going to talk to them? They had basically kidnapped him. Hm. Now that he thought about it, this probably was really illegal.

When Erwin came back he handed Eren his pyjamas. “I hope they’re comfortable,” he said and Eren stared at them, but didn’t make a move to put them on.

“Is something wrong?” Erwin asked and Eren looked at him with a frown on his face. “Bathroom?”

It took his friend a second to know what he wanted. “Oh! Yes, you can change in there. It’s down the hallway, the last door on the left,” he explained and Eren nodded, mumbling a quick thank you before he was on his way.

Erwin sat down in his chair and sighed, the tension leaving his body. “This isn’t what I expected to happen.”

“Not really, no. Looks like he’s pretty fucked up,” Levi replied, glancing at the wet spot on the sofa. He was going to have to clean that properly later.

“We can’t let him go now. He still doesn’t trust us. If he leaves he’ll tell the police about what happened,” Erwin said. “Of course we could blackmail him, telling him if he says anything about what happened we’ll tell his father. I’m assuming he was talking about him.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “You’re pretty fucked up, too. Blackmail? I don’t want him to hate m- us.” He also sat down and took a sip from his tea, grimacing when it was cold. Yuck.

“Then we have to make him trust us,” Erwin replied, deep in thought. “It won’t be easy. Especially after you punched him.”

“Yes, because I’m sure locking the door was the most trustworthy thing one could do,” he countered, not wanting to think about what he had done anymore. It wasn’t only his fault. He wasn’t going to let Erwin make him feel like shit.

“Anyway,” Erwin waved him off, “it won’t be easy, but I really do want to help him. For his sake and yours.”

“Mine?”

Erwin nodded. “I know that you like him, Levi. You went on a date with him.”

“Yes, and that turned out so well,” he grumbled and crossed his arms. Did he still like Eren? He didn’t want that to be the case, because that would only cause trouble, but…he couldn’t deny it. He saw the person underneath all the masks and he couldn’t help but feel intrigued. All along he had detested it when Eren pretended to be someone else and now he had seen who he truly was. It was exciting.

Exciting, and also worrying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I REALLY want to know what you all think about this chapter! I was so nervous about posting this...


	11. Interruption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The doorbell rang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments from the last chapter were so nice!!! Thank you so much! ;-; You're all so kind.  
> (btw, my tumblr is also lawlietandorder)

Things weren’t going exactly as planned.

Levi had thought that now was the moment Eren would tell them everything, spill out every secret and let them help him. But no. Of course it couldn’t be that simple. No, Eren had to be a stubborn bastard.

“We only want to help you,” Erwin sighed when Eren gave another vague answer. “You can trust us.”

They had decided not to blackmail him, because they had already fucked this up before. But this only meant that Eren remained tight-lipped.

“Look, just tell us why you think you’re going to die,” he tried again and gave him a reassuring smile. “You can tell us.”

Eren glanced at Levi who nodded, crossing his arms. Any information he gave them would help. Eren set the down his cup of tea and pulled his leg up to his chest. “Because I wasn’t nice,” he said quietly. “When you’re not nice you’re evil.”

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration,” Erwin replied. “Everyone has bad days and sometimes people make it impossible to keep being kind. It’s in human nature to react differently to different situations.”

Eren shook his head. “No. You don’t understand. I can’t be unkind. I was born kind and have let myself be tainted.”

“Tainted?” Levi raised an eyebrow. “What are you going on about?”

“When you’re not nice bad things happen,” Eren said and wrapped his arms around his legs, pulling them up closer to his chest. “You need to train to remain pure. If you’re tainted demons can take over.”

What Eren was saying was so absurd that Levi wanted to laugh out loud, but he knew that was probably really inappropriate. Demons? Please. Did he actually believe that? What he was saying was absolute bullshit.

“Seriously?” Levi replied. “Eren, you must know that this is absurd.”

That was apparently the wrong thing to say, because Eren huffed and looked away from him. “It’s not. You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said. “People die when they let the demon grow too strong.”

He couldn’t think this was true, right? This had to be a joke. But when Levi looked at Eren he knew it wasn’t. The guy appeared to be dead serious. It was almost scary.

“Why do people die?” Erwin asked, looking like he wasn’t fazed at all by his words.

Eren put his legs back down and rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he told him, voice growing quiet.

“But we need to know so we can help you,” Erwin tried to persuade him, but Eren shook his head. “No. I won’t talk about it.” He remained stubborn and Levi knew he wouldn’t budge.

It was concerning how serious Eren looked while he said such weird things. However, if he truly believed that bad people were taken over by demons, then it would explain his actions. He was always nice, looking like there was no evil in this world. Was he just acting like that out of fear?

Levi decided to try another tactic to make him open up a little. Normally one intimidating look from him was all it took to make people talk, but with Eren it didn’t seem to work. Maybe he should be a bit gentler.

“Alright. Eren, you know we want to help you, right?” Levi asked him and waited until he saw him nod. “And I know it’s difficult to talk about this. However, I actually give a shit about you, so I don’t want you thinking you can deal with whatever is going on alone. If something happens you tell us, okay?”

Eren was quiet for a few seconds before he looked at him properly. “Okay,” he whispered. It was a small victory, but Levi was going to take whatever he could get. Erwin also looked relieved that they were making some progress.

“I’m sorry, you know, for leaving like that,” Eren murmured.

It took Levi a moment to know what he was referring to. “Good. Because that was a real dick move. Everyone looked at me like I was the most pitiful thing they’d ever seen,” he said.

“I’m sorry. I was just overwhelmed by everything and-”

Suddenly the doorbell rang and they all looked towards the door. “It’s nearly eleven,” Erwin muttered and then his eyes widened. “What if it’s Armin?”

“Armin? Why would he be here?” Eren asked confused and Levi remembered that he had no idea Erwin was dating his friend. Oh-oh.

Instead of answering Levi stood up and walked to the front door, preparing himself for telling Armin some bullshit to make him leave. Lately he had been coming over quite late, but thankfully no weird sounds had disturbed his sleep…

But when he opened the door it wasn’t Armin standing before him.

“May I ask why my son is here?”

Yeah. This wasn’t good.

Levi hadn’t expected to be greeted by Grisha Jaeger who looked more than a little displeased. Why was he here? How the hell did he even know Eren was here? Levi knew Eren didn’t have a phone. He said he had no need for one. He couldn’t have called him. So how-

“Father!” Levi hadn’t noticed Eren walking up to them and Erwin was with him, looking exasperated. Oh boy. This was not good.

“Eren, what are you wearing?” Grisha asked bewildered and Eren smiled sheepishly. Levi couldn’t believe how lucky he was that there was no bruise forming on Eren’s jaw from his punches. If his dad had seen him injured…he didn’t want to think about what he’d have done.

“Mr. Smith lent me some clothes. Mine are soaked,” he said. Levi wasn’t sure what was going on. Why was Grisha even here? And why was Eren talking to him like this? He had thought he was afraid of him.

Erwin walked up to Grisha and extended his arm. “You must be Grisha Jaeger. I am Erwin Smith. I’m sorry if we caused you to be worried about your son.” They shook hands and Levi knew his friend was sizing him up. “He collapsed at the supermarket and I took him here.”

“You should’ve made an emergency call,” Grisha told him sternly.

“I didn’t think it was necessary,” Erwin replied and Levi could feel the growing tension between them. He looked at Eren who was staring at his father and Levi pulled him back while Grisha and Erwin were talking.

“How did he know you were here?” Levi asked quietly.

“He always knows where I am,” he replied, voice almost a whisper. “It’s his gift.”

What was he talking about? “No one can know where a person always is. That’s impossible,” Levi said and sighed. “How did he know? Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying,” Eren frowned, glancing at Grisha and Erwin who were still discussing something. “He just knows. My father is pure.”

Before Levi could ask him what he meant Erwin suddenly turned around and looked at them. “Eren, how about you go back with your father?” he suggested and Eren nodded, smiling warmly as he walked up to his dad. Levi watched Grisha put a hand on Eren’s shoulder and narrowed his eyes. What Eren had told him hadn’t been a lie. Even if he was behaving liked he loved his father, he knew he was afraid of him. Erwin had said he had begged him not to take him home.

Grisha squeezed his son’s shoulder. “Let’s go, Eren. Say goodbye.”

“Thank you for helping me,” Eren told them, smiling at them before he and his father walked away. Levi watched them go, catching Eren turn his head to look at them, smile gone and replaced by a sorrowful expression.

They got into his father’s car and just as Levi was about to close the door he saw Eren stumble out of the car and running up to them. “I forgot my clothes! Can you please get them?” he asked and Erwin nodded, walking back into their house.

Levi opened his mouth to ask about Eren’s father when all of a sudden Eren looked at him seriously. “I don’t know if this is a good idea or not. I really don’t know, but right now I don’t have a choice,” he said quietly. “I know you’re not going to let this go and I still trust you. It’s dumb, but I do.” He sighed and Levi heard Erwin approaching. “Levi, I know you don’t believe me, but I’m telling you the truth. You might think I’m crazy, insane, whatever, but I know that I’m right. I want you to see for yourself what I’m talking about.”

He looked up at Erwin who had arrived with his clothes. “Thank you!” he smiled at him and shook his hand. Then he offered Levi his other hand who saw he was holding something between his thumb and palm. They shook hands and exchanged the item. “I need to go now. And please, don’t come to the clinic again.”

He smiled at them sadly one more time before he jogged up to his father’s car. Levi watched him get back into it and caught Grisha Jaeger looking at them before driving away.

“He threatened me,” Erwin said, expression grim.

“Eren’s dad?” Levi asked. Erwin closed the door and they walked back to the living room.

“He said that if we talked to his son again he’d call the police. I tried to explain to him that we know Eren and that he’s friends with you, but he wouldn’t listen. He told me his son would never be friends with someone like you,” Erwin said.

Levi gave a short laugh. “Someone like me? Seems like Eren’s dad isn’t as nice as he wants us to believe he is.” So he had been right after all. Grisha Jaeger had a few skeletons in his closet.

“What did we get ourselves into?” Erwin sighed. “I knew you said that you thought Eren had some problems, but I wasn’t expecting _that_.”

“Do you think I thought his dad was fucked up?” Levi replied.

_Well, I did think that…_

“How the fuck did he even know that Eren was here?” he asked. Eren had mentioned something about a gift, but that was absolute bullshit. Maybe he wouldn’t get reliable information out of him after all.

“I’ve been wondering about that, too.” Erwin looked at the sofa, shaking his head. “It doesn’t make any sense. At first I thought Eren somehow contacted him, but why would he?”

Levi shrugged and looked down at his hand. Eren had given him a folded piece of paper. “What’s that?” Erwin asked curiously.

“Let’s take a look.”

Levi opened his hand and Erwin was standing behind him as he unfolded the paper and saw that it was a brochure.

“What the fuck is that?” Levi asked bewildered. Shiganshina Cleansing Institute?

“I’ve driven by that before,” Erwin said and hummed in thought. “It’s a school, I think.” Levi turned the wrinkled paper around.

This school sounded weird as hell. After seeing they held services he immediately thought they were a normal religious school, but something seemed off. What was cleansing? A quick glance at Erwin confirmed that he was also confused.

“Why does Eren have this?” he asked and Levi shrugged. “No idea.” He took the brochure from him and frowned. Something about this seemed familiar, but he didn’t know what. Maybe he was only imagining it.

“Say, where did Eren go to school?”

“I don’t know.” Hadn’t he talked to Jean about this? Yes. He had mentioned Eren switching schools. That’s right. And Armin had told him he had attended a private school.

Erwin smiled at him when Levi realised what this meant. “I see you’re catching up. I’m pretty sure this is where he went to school. Armin told me the two didn’t go to school together.”

“Yes, Eren went to a private school. I never bothered to look up where.” He should have. Damn. Back then it had seemed like an unimportant detail. But after reading through this… Something was up with this school, he was sure of it.

“Do you have work on Monday?” Erwin asked and Levi nodded. “I’ve got the early shift.”

“Alright. I’ll take the day off and we’ll check this school out after you finish.”

Levi chuckled. “You? Taking a day off? Now that’s a first. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do that,” he teased him and Erwin shrugged, a smile on his face. “Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

“Glad to know you’re not a complete workaholic.”

“I am a bit sad I won’t work… And all of this for the love of your life.” Erwin sighed dramatically and Levi punched his arm. “You’re a dick,” he snorted. “Love of my life. Yeah right. I can’t fucking stand that guy.”

“Now that’s a lie,” he replied and chuckled. “But I was exaggerating. I know the fearsome Levi could never experience something as silly as love.”

Levi rolled his eyes and walked out of the room, hearing Erwin laughing to himself. Leave it to him to make insensitive jokes. Sometimes he forgot his friend thought he was hot shit and hilarious.

“Erwin? What will you do when Armin finds out we trapped Eren in our house?” he called out and heard the laughter instantly die down. He waited…and waited…and waited…

“I’m so screwed,” he heard Erwin groan and smirked. Yup, he was.

 

* * *

 

Levi didn’t know if he was only imagining the tension in the air. It was the next day, a Saturday, and he and Armin had the late shift. Levi had prepared himself for a boring ass day, but he hadn’t thought it was going to be _this_ tedious. And the reason for that was that Armin was avoiding him. Usually they talked a bit, although his colleague was still a bit apprehensive of him at times. Most likely because he didn’t approve of him talking to Eren. He had already tried numerous times before explaining to him that he wasn’t stalking him, but Armin was a stubborn bastard. Kind of like Erwin.

Whenever he tried to talk to him when they weren’t busy serving customers he only said a few words. He didn’t look at him and didn’t initiate a conversation. Had Eren told him about what had happened? But if that was the case then Armin would’ve already tried to punch him or something. Emphasis on tried. The kid looked like he couldn’t harm a fly.

Throughout the shift Levi kept glancing at his young co-worker and noticed that he didn’t look that good. There were circles under his eyes and normally Levi would think it was university stress, but Armin was very bright and so far had never complained about tests, essays or anything like that.

It was an hour before closing when Armin finally looked at him properly and Levi rolled his eyes. “Finally decided to acknowledge my existence?” he said, but Armin didn’t take the bait. He went straight for what was on his mind.

“You didn’t tell Eren, did you?” he asked quietly and pushed a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Tell him what?”

Armin worried his lip. “About Erwin and I being together…”

So that was what this was about? It felt like he had talked to Eren about Armin’s love life ages ago.

“No, I didn’t. Why should I? It’s not any of my business,” he replied.

Armin sighed in relief and smiled at him. “Thank you. I’m sorry I ignored you. I was just kind of nervous. I don’t know. Sorry.” He rubbed his arm, glancing away from him. “I just didn’t want him to know. He was kind of…weird recently and I thought he knew about my relationship.”

“Why do you think he was behaving unusually?” Levi asked curiously. Had Eren been treating everyone differently and not just him?

Armin shrugged. “I don’t know. Well, I do know. We haven’t been talking that much. And when we do he’s so distracted and I feel like he’s not paying any attention to me. Wait, that sounds wrong,” he sighed. “I just- I don’t want lose him. And if he knew about Erwin…”

“Would that be a problem?”

“Yes.” The answer came instantly and Levi got a sinking feeling in his stomach. Was Eren…homophobic? No. That couldn’t be it. Levi was pretty sure Eren had some feelings for him. But then he remembered what he had said at the restaurant.

“Eren hates gay people, doesn’t he?” Levi said and Armin’s eyes widened. “No! I mean, no. He doesn’t hate them. He just…he’s not a fan? He thinks there’s something wrong with liking the same sex.”

“I thought he was gay,” he replied honestly. Armin shrugged. “I mean…he’s never had a girlfriend before, but that doesn’t need to mean anything. Although, I’ve caught him looking at guys a couple of times and that one time he said something pretty ambiguous…”

“So he is?” Levi asked, wanting some confirmation.

“…I think so. I mean, I’m actually pretty sure... He sometimes talks about girls, but it sounds so forced,” he said and sighed. “I want to be angry at him for disapproving of gay people, but mostly I just feel bad for him. He’s probably gay himself. D-Don’t tell him I said that!”

Levi didn’t feel bad for him. He was pretty pissed now. Why had Eren gone on a date with him if he felt that way about people who liked the same sex in the first place? He had just been leading him on!

“Are you okay?” Armin asked quietly and Levi noticed he had been glaring at him.

“No. Eren’s a fucking dickhead,” he huffed. He felt a little less bad about punching him.

Armin shook his head. “I don’t think those are Eren’s real feelings on that topic. It’s just not like him. I think he’s forcing himself to think that way.”

In Levi’s opinion it was still a pretty shitty thing to do, but when he thought about who might be influencing Eren then yeah, maybe not angering his dad was a wise decision. Although, he didn’t know if Grisha Jaeger physically harmed his son. Eren had never sported a bruise or had limped. But then again, Grisha could’ve left marks on his chest or somewhere else. Levi had never seen him shirtless.

“Armin, what do you think about Eren’s father?” Levi asked him and watched him closely. Armin was Eren’s best friend, so he was pretty sure he had met the man a couple of times.

“Oh, he’s nice!” Armin said, too quickly for Levi’s liking. “He’s a really good doctor.” He looked nervous and it was obvious that he was lying.

“You can tell me what you really think. I won’t tell,” Levi told him, knowing there was more. The last time he had brought up the topic of Eren’s father Armin had clammed up at the end. He had to know something.

Armin was avoiding looking at him directly and he saw him swallow nervously. “I-uhm, he’s…" He looked like he was struggling to think of the right words. "Okay. Fine. He’s a bit creepy,” he mumbled. “I don’t really like him.”

There it was. “Why do you think he’s creepy?” Levi asked.

“When Eren is over at my place he always has to ask his dad for permission. Grisha never leaves him alone. Eren is nineteen! He’s an adult and he still treats him like a child. I don’t know. I feel like he loves him too much, if you want me to put it that way.”

“…do you mean that you think…he wants to fuck Eren?”

“No!” Armin replied horrified, then saw that people were staring at them and he quieted down. “What is wrong with you? I didn’t mean that at all!” he hissed. “What I was trying to say is that I think he’s kind of obsessed with Eren. He always needs to know everything he does. I mean, Eren still has to ask if he can hang out with me. It’s insane.”

“Have you talked to Eren about that?” Levi couldn’t imagine a nineteen year old guy liking being watched and hovered over like that.

“I talked to him about it once. He thinks that it’s normal and that his dad is just worried about him,” Armin said. “I think Eren has no idea how normal families work. It’s worrying. However, he told me that it does get kind of on his nerves sometimes, but that he understands his dad. He says that his dad is worried that he’ll lose him, too.”

That was right. Eren’s mother wasn’t alive. Levi could kind of empathise with Grisha, but watching his son constantly only meant that he didn’t trust him. Eren must be paranoid by now. Was he only putting up an act because he thought his dad was always watching him?

“Levi… I think I have to apologise,” Armin suddenly said and looked at him. “You know, I thought that you didn’t like Eren and I was worried about you using him or doing something. But after talking to Eren about you I know that’s not the case. And Marco told me you two have been hanging out here. I just- I’m always worried about him. I didn’t want you to hurt him in any way.”

Too late. But that meant that Armin had no idea what had transpired last night and also didn’t know they had had an awful date. Well, Eren would never describe it to him like that. Levi could respect Armin for caring about his friend like that, even if it had caused him some trouble.

“It’s fine,” he simply said. “I could’ve handled showing my interest in him a bit better.”

“You mean actually talking to him and not stalking him like a creep?”

“If I were you I’d shut up now,” Levi glowered at him and Armin nodded, taking his advice to heart.

He wondered if Armin knew more about what Eren was going through, but right now wasn’t the best time to ask. He had no idea that Levi knew something was up. No, that would have to wait. For now he was satisfied that Armin wasn’t going to go to the police to get a restraining order to protect Eren. One less thing he had to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That brochure took ages to make I'm so tired why did I do this...


	12. An Unexpected Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why are you two really here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad people are still enjoying this story! Thank you all so much for the support!

The first thought that went through Levi’s head when he saw the school was that he couldn’t believe that he had never seen it before. The building was modern looking and huge, easily towering over any of Shiganshina’s houses. The wooden entrance door loomed over him, making him feel smaller than he already was. How much money did these people have to build something like this? A building like this fit into Trost’s more expensive districts, but here in Shiganshina it stuck out like a sore thumb.

The school didn’t just look expensive though, no, it looked nice. It wasn’t pompous and over the top. Levi looked at his friend who was busy eyeing the facility. It was the type of school he could see Erwin attending. Behind the main building stood a smaller one which Levi assumed to be the living quarters.

“It’s nice,” Erwin commented and opened the door for them, the heavy wood creaking as it was pushed. The interior also didn’t scream that this was _that kind_ of rich school, but it was nicer than a public one. Nicer than his school had been at least. Levi also appreciated how clean everything was kept. He remembered being disgusted by his school’s cleaning staff’s inability to do their job. However, this school was positively spotless.

The door shut close behind them. “It’s Monday, isn’t it?” Levi asked Erwin who nodded. “Yes. Why are you asking?”

“It’s quiet.”

Sure, the students were probably having classes right now, but there should be at least muffled voices. Levi looked around, seeing large stairs leading upwards.

“The school office is on the first floor,” Erwin told him.

While on the ride to the school he had informed Levi he had checked out their website. There wasn’t anything particularly out of the ordinary on there. It was just a typical school website with information about school events, teachers, general information for parents and the like. The only thing that had caught Erwin’s attention had been a school photo of Eren with his class. Apparently it had been adorable. Levi had only rolled his eyes in response, even though he knew he would check it out later.

They ascended the stairs and Levi wondered how often Eren had done the same. Had he gone to his classes with friends, laughing and enjoying his time here? Maybe he had been a troublemaker, aggravating his teachers and being a nuisance. Or maybe he had been quiet, preferring to simply get through the days without too much attention on him. Levi wanted to believe Eren had had fun at school, but his gut told him something else. This was no ordinary school and whatever Eren was going through, the school played a part in it.

“We’re here because you want your nephew going here, right?” Levi asked Erwin to confirm their story.

“Yes.”

They had both decided they needed a proper reason to come here and ask questions. At first they had thought of pretending they had a child together, but that would only make them uncomfortable and Levi wouldn’t be able to say Erwin was his husband with a straight face. Their current story worked out far better.

When they reached the first floor there was still no person in sight. Levi would think that maybe the students didn’t have school after all if the lights weren’t on. “Say, how many students are there?” he asked Erwin out of curiosity.

“Hm. When I looked at the photos there were three classes per year with around fifteen students per class. They have grades one to eight, so I’d say nearly 400 students,” Erwin replied then paused. “That’s…not a lot.”

“That’s the understatement of the year. Have you seen how freaking huge this building is?” Levi said and gestured to the empty hallways around them. “How can this school survive like this? With such a tiny amount of students they should’ve closed long ago. There must be a crapton of empty rooms in here.”

The school looked like it could house a thousand students easily. It was so out of place here in Shiganshina and Levi wondered why it hadn't been built in Trost or Stohess.

“We don’t know how much the parents pay to send their children here,” Erwin pointed out and they reached the school office. “I’m sure the fees are ludicrous.”

“And the parents must be, too. Who the fuck pays so much money to send their kids to some dumb school?” Levi scoffed.

“There are enough people who would do that,” he replied and knocked on the wooden door twice. “And right now I’m one of those people, well, my sister. I think it’s better if you leave the talking to me.”

Levi crossed his arms. “Why? Are you afraid I’ll screw it up?”

“Yes. You’re not the most charming person I know," was the dry reply. 

Erwin was the only one who could say such things and get away with it. Okay, maybe Eren could too, but that was just because…he was Eren. It would be good not to dwell on it. It was probably for the best if he didn’t talk, because he knew he would unintentionally – or intentionally – say something rude, but it still pissed him off. He had so many questions on his mind and he needed answers.

The door opened and they were greeted by a middle-aged woman whose dark brown hair was tied back in a bun. She smiled at them warmly and adjusted her round glasses. “How can I help you?” she asked and stepped aside to let them come inside.

“I called you this morning,” Erwin replied and her eyes lit up in recognition. “Ah yes! You must be Mr. Smith. And who’s this?” she asked.

“I’m his friend,” Levi said, trying to sound nice despite how tense he was feeling. She sat down behind her wooden desk and gestured to the two free chairs. “Please, take a seat.”

Levi let his gaze wander around the room, noting that it was kept in warm colours. There were a few pictures up on the walls from what he assumed to be school excursions. Part of him was curious if Eren was on any of the pictures that decorated the school’s halls. He looked at the woman again when she spoke.

“I assume you’ve got a lot of questions on your mind and I would like to answer all of them. However, I have a meeting with the director soon so I asked one of the students to show you around the school. I hope that’s alright,” she said.

“That’s fine. We don’t mind,” Erwin replied, smiling at her warmly and Levi resisted the urge to roll his eyes when he saw the woman’s cheeks growing darker. He was reminded of their university days when all of the women had been swooning over him. If Erwin hadn’t been his no-nonsense-self he could’ve had a harem. He didn’t know what drew people to him anyway. Erwin had a real stick up his arse most of the time. Well, right now he often had something else up there.

The secretary brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “So, let’s start with the basics. I’m sure you’ve already taken a look at our website. The first week of the school year is getting-to-know week. Your nephew, if I remember correctly, will be a third grader, won’t he?” When she saw Erwin nod she continued. “Getting-to-know week is mandatory for all grades, because we have a lot of transfers. He won’t have to worry about becoming acquainted with his classmates. They’re all very nice and accepting,” she added with a smile.

“I’ve also seen that the pastors at this school hold services,” Erwin mentioned.

“Ah, yes. Of course every student is obligated to attend those. The ones held in the mornings by Pastor Nick are a great way to start the day,” she said. “He’s the backbone of this school and carries out the cleansing sessions.”

Levi perked up at that. “What exactly are those?” he asked and for the first time the secretary looked directly at him.

“You don’t-? Oh! Yes, how silly of me,” she chuckled. “You could compare them to confessions. They’re not that different. The only thing that sets them apart is that we don’t carry them out in secrecy. The student speaks face to face with Pastor Nick.”

“Is that not an invasion of privacy?” Erwin asked and knitted his brows.

The secretary looked at him confused. “I don’t think I understand. Why would it? If Pastor Nick doesn’t know who he’s talking to he won’t be able to forgive their sins properly.”

Levi opened his mouth to reply, but Erwin beat him to the punch. “I see. I suppose that’s logical,” he told her and glanced at Levi warningly. How Erwin could sit through this bullshit was beyond him, but he shut his mouth. It was true that getting angry wouldn’t solve anything. Normally he didn’t even get upset so easily, but this whole school gave him the creeps. Eren had told him he would see what he had been talking about here.

“Good. Your nephew will live here. I assume it won’t be a problem if he doesn’t see you for a year. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here,” she said casually.

“Come again?” Erwin asked surprised and Levi slightly narrowed his eyes at her. A year? Surely the students were allowed to visit their families on the weekends or when they had a break.

She tilted her head in confusion. “The students live here. Of course they can’t just leave whenever they want.”

“I understand that, but I’m sure my nephew can visit his mother occasionally,” Erwin replied.

“Uhm… That wouldn’t be good, no. But it’s just a year and then they can visit for a few days,” she told him and smiled again, although Levi had the feeling she was getting rather anxious. “Students get used to it rather quickly and the parents can concentrate on their work in the meantime.”

Levi couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Sure, older students maybe wouldn’t mind, but some of these kids weren’t even in their teens. The school kept them from meeting their parents? And the parents accepted that? What kind of fucked up people sent their children here? Did they not give a shit about their kids?

Before he could give her a piece of his mind there was a knock on the door and the secretary stood up. “That must be her. She’s right on time,” she said and opened the door. “Thank you for showing them around.”

“There’s no need to thank me.”

The secretary let a young woman in and smiled at them. “I’m off then. Have fun on your tour,” she said, picked up a large binder from her desk and hurried out of the door.

Levi took a look at the student who was going to be their guide. She appeared to be around Eren’s age. She wore what he suspected to be the school uniform, a black skirt that went past her knees, a black blazer and a white shirt underneath. There was a short moment of silence as she looked at them, her expression unreadable. Levi raised an eyebrow when she remained silent and it was Erwin who decided to speak up.

“You must be our guide then,” he said unnecessarily, but it caused the girl to finally speak.

“Yes. I’ll give you a quick tour. If you have any questions just ask,” she replied, voice monotonous and Levi got out of his seat. “Oh we’ll ask, don’t worry.” She held his gaze for a moment before she started moving and Erwin joined Levi as they followed her.

“She looks familiar,” he told him quietly and Levi frowned. “She does?”

“I’ve seen her before…but where?” While Erwin was busy thinking they went up another set of stairs and the girl stopped walking and turned around to look at them.

“Here’s our chemistry and physics lab. The computer lab is on the other end of the hallway. Students are allowed to use it to complete their homework during the assigned times. Otherwise electric devices like mobile phones and laptops aren’t allowed,” she told them, sounding disinterested.

“Not even radios?” Levi asked and she shook her head. “No. But you can have a hair dryer if you want to.” She moved on and Levi shared a look with Erwin. Eren didn’t have a phone, saying it was unnecessary. He probably thought so because he hadn’t been allowed to use one. However, Levi couldn’t imagine older students putting up with that rule, assuming they were like him when he had been younger.

The girl continued with their tour, telling them about useless shit like the different classes, where the cafeteria was and dorm assignments, all stuff Levi wasn’t interested in. They left the building, walked to the living quarters and Levi asked the girl when the school was built.

“This school hasn’t existed for long. I don’t know the exact date, but I think it’s been running for about twenty years,” she replied, looking bored. She kind of reminded him of Annie, except she talked just a bit more.

They entered the building and the girl said she needed to take care of something. They agreed to wait at the entrance. Levi could hear a few people talking and acknowledged that maybe this wasn’t some ghost school after all.

“She’s weird,” Levi told Erwin. “I thought she was going to be like Eren, you know, always smiling and that shit.”

“The secretary certainly was like that. So far this school could pass as somewhat normal if you ignore the fact that students aren’t allowed to visit their parents,” Erwin said. “However, if Eren told you to come here then there must be something going on behind the scenes.”

And Levi had an idea where weird shit was going on. “Those cleansing sessions aren’t normal confessions,” he remarked. “I’m pretty sure that that’s the case.”

“The pastor knows who he’s talking to.”

“Yes. He could easily tell someone else what the students are up to.”

If things were truly fucked up at this school then the pastor would tell the teachers about their students’ confessions. They could use them against the students. Or maybe Levi was just letting his imagination run wild.

“I’m surprised that you’re doing this, if I’m being honest,” Erwin told him and Levi looked up at him.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re going out of your way to help Eren. I’ve never seen you so…how should I put it…so interested in someone before,” he said, smiling slightly.

Levi huffed and crossed his arms, leaning against the wall. “I just want to find out what the hell is going on. It has nothing to do with the kid himself.”

“Are you sure? You told him that you, and I quote, give a shit about him. That’s quite a statement, coming from you.”

Of course Erwin would remember something like that.

“I think it’s amusing to see how much your opinion of him has changed. Never judge a book by its cover is the lesson you’ve learned, isn’t it?” Erwin chuckled and Levi let the back of his head hit the wall.

He didn’t want to think about his opinion of Eren. Right now the guy was nothing but trouble. Having feelings for someone like him only meant restless nights and sour moods. And Levi didn’t need that. He had sworn to himself that he would never get into a relationship again. A quick fuck? Yes, he could do that, but a relationship with real feelings involved? Never again. Back at the restaurant he had been close to breaking that rule and he should almost thank Eren from making him snap out of that mentality.

It wasn’t like Eren would ever act on his feelings for him anyway, feelings Levi was sure he harboured. He would never risk anyone finding out he wasn’t straight. All in all Levi should be happy that there was no chance of him and Eren ever getting into a relationship with each other, but the truth was that…it kind of sucked.

“Let’s continue.”

Levi had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed the girl returning. Hopefully she would start talking about some more interesting stuff. So far he hadn’t figured out how to ask certain questions without raising suspicions against Erwin and him.

They left the living quarters and stopped in front of a water fountain and Levi was prepared to hear her talk about some more shit. However, when she turned to look at them her eyes were narrowed and her posture stiff.

“Why are you two really here?”

“I wanted to see if this school is good enough for my nephew,” Erwin told her calmly and she shook her head.

“No. That’s not the truth. Tell me why you are here,” she replied coldly.

So she had figured them out. There was no point in denying it. When he looked at her he saw that she wasn’t going to back down. He wondered when she had noticed that they weren’t here because of normal reasons. Had she overheard their conversation?

“And if we don’t you’ll what, tell on us? Get a teacher?” Levi scoffed and she nodded. “Yes. Do you want me to do that?”

Was she bluffing? He couldn’t tell. This girl had such a stony expression. It was rather impressive.

“Well? Are you going to talk, shorty?”

“You’ve got guts, I’ll give you that,” Levi said, glaring at her. He decided right then that he didn’t like her all that much. “We’re investigating.”

Her dark eyes narrowed slightly. “Investigating? I suggest you stop and leave. Right now.”

“Why? Afraid we’ll find out all the fucked up shit that is going on here?” he asked. “Do you not want us to find out? Maybe you’re already brainwashed or something.”

“Levi-”

“Brainwashed?” she questioned. “Listen, you need to leave.”

Like he was going to leave now. This was the only place where he could find out what had happened to Eren! There was no chance in hell that he would leave.

“I know,” Erwin suddenly said and Levi turned to look at him. “What?”

“She’s from the picture. She was standing right next to him,” he explained and the girl raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

“You were standing next to Eren.”

All of a sudden the girl’s eyes widened, her mouth opening in shock. She stared at Erwin. “I- you know Eren?” she asked in an agitated voice. “How?”

The unexpected shift in her demeanour was a welcome change to her threatening words. “He’s a friend of Levi’s,” he told her and gestured to him.

Her expression hardened again. “Stop playing games. How do you know him?”

“That was the truth, you stupid-”

“What he’s saying is correct,” Erwin cut him off. “We’re here because of him. He’s… We’re worried about him.”

She looked away, her fingers playing with her collar. “Eren is really friends with you? He never told me…” The menacing expression on her face was gone, replaced with uncertainty.

“Erwin and I have known him for about half a year. You couldn’t have known,” Levi replied and she slowly shook her head.

“No. He was here and didn’t tell me. Why? Did I…do something?” She sighed, taking a deep breath before standing up straight. “You’re Levi and Erwin, right? My name is Mikasa and I’m Eren’s girlfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated and make my gloomy days brighter!


	13. Donations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here he was, feeling like shit because of some guy ten years younger than him. A guy who had a girlfriend he loved. How pathetic.

What. The. Fuck. She had to be joking. There was no way, no fucking way that she was speaking the truth. No. Fucking. Way.

“I’m sorry?” Erwin said, voice higher than normal and eyebrows drawn up high. “You’re his girlfriend?” Even he sounded baffled.

The girl – Mikasa – nodded. “Yes. I’m sure Eren’s mentioned me.”

“No, he hasn’t,” Levi muttered and glowered at her. She couldn’t be his girlfriend. Eren would’ve told him if he had one. This had to be a misunderstanding or something. Eren didn’t have a girlfriend! He couldn’t have one. Armin had told him he was probably gay. Wouldn’t Armin know if Eren had a girlfriend? Or had he just not told him? What was going on?

Mikasa frowned. “He hasn’t? But… No, it doesn’t matter,” she murmured, sounding dejected. “I’m sure he has his reasons… Anyway, why are you two here?”

“No no no, I won’t let you change this topic so easily,” Levi intervened, his blood close to boiling. “Eren has never even mentioned your name. You can’t possibly be his girlfriend, so why are you lying?” he asked, hoping that this was all just a trick. The thought that Eren was together with this girl made him sick.

Her eyes hardened when she turned to look at him. “I am not lying. I don’t know why he hasn’t talked about me, but I am in a relationship with him, have been for two years.”

Two years?! What the fuck? Was this chick delusional or had Eren really withheld _important_ information from him?

_This has to be a joke. Eren…no. Eren likes me, doesn’t he? Wait. Is this the reason why he felt sick at the restaurant? Because he was close to cheating on his…girlfriend?_

Levi felt ill.

“Let’s continue this…discussion at another time,” Erwin interrupted them, “and get back to the topic at hand. You said that Eren came back to this school.” He nudged Levi with his elbow, but he didn’t react. All of a sudden he felt sick, numb. This revelation hit him hard, harder than it should. He would have never got together with Eren anyway, but knowing that he had a girlfriend… It made everything worse.

Why had he never mentioned her? Levi had asked Eren all sorts of questions at the start to figure out what was going on with him. His family had come up, his friends, but Eren had never said anything about Mikasa. Nothing. Actually, it was rather concerning how- dare he even think it – jealous he was feeling.

Mikasa looked up at Erwin. “Yes. Eren occasionally comes here to see me when he can. Lately he’s been visiting more often,” she added with a soft smile on her face. “I’m always happy when he does.”

“But you were in Eren’s class, weren’t you? Were you held back a year?” Erwin asked curiously and her smile disappeared.

“Yes. I did something…not good,” she told him. “But that’s in the past. I just want to get away from here.”

“The school year ends soon, doesn’t it? What will you do afterwards?”

“I’ll leave Shiganshina with Eren.”

Levi couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculous idea. “What? You can’t be serious. As if he’d leave. He’s got a job here and his friends.” And I’m here, Levi thought, but he couldn’t say that. He didn’t want her to know he was that attached to Eren.

He saw her tense up and glare at him. “Of course he’ll leave with me. He loves me.”

“And how would you know that?” Levi snapped, wishing she’d just shut up and stop talking as if Eren cared so much about her.

“Because he told me,” she replied, her cold eyes staring into his own and Levi knew in that moment that she wasn’t lying. It felt like someone had punched him in the gut. When he looked into her eyes he saw her conviction. He saw the truth. Eren had said it.

What good reason did she have to lie? She had no idea that he had feelings for Eren. She didn’t know. Mikasa had no idea what her words were doing to him.

Knowing that Eren had told her that he loved her was the final nail in the coffin. There was no doubt that she was his girlfriend. Why hadn’t Eren told him? Had Levi misjudged him? Maybe he truly didn’t have any feelings for him. Maybe Levi had just wanted that to be the case.

Erwin put a hand on his shoulder but he shrugged it off. He didn’t need any fucking pity. Mikasa was now watching him with narrowed eyes, probably wondering why he was angry at her. She didn’t need to know.

“What is going on in this school?” Erwin asked her to change the topic. “We know that something is wrong here.”

Mikasa’s gaze left Levi and he briefly closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He needed to calm down. Lately he had been losing his composure more often.

“You can’t leave,” she told Erwin.

“Yes, we’ve already heard that you can’t visit-”

“No, you don’t understand,” she interrupted Erwin. “You can never leave. The only time you can leave this place is when you get a week off at the end of the year as a summer break. That’s it. You can’t leave the school grounds. Ever.”

A moment of silence followed her words before Erwin started speaking again. “That sounds like prison,” he said and she nodded. “It is.”

Levi decided to forget Eren for a moment and concentrate on more important things. He needed to figure out what was going on in this town. “But surely some kids tell their parents what is going on here,” he voiced his thoughts and Mikasa smiled wryly. “Do you honestly think people who send their kids to this school care about them? They couldn’t give less of a crap about what happens here as long as their children don’t bother them. Sometimes students here don’t even leave for summer break.”

Just the thought of attending this forsaken school made Levi sick, but staying here without ever leaving? He couldn’t imagine that.

“That’s… But how can no one care about what is going on here?” Erwin asked, thick eyebrows set in a frown. “Is everyone turning a blind eye on this? There are school inspections, aren’t there? There’s no-”

“You really don’t get it, do you?” Mikasa said. “No one cares and if they do, then they only care about leaving things as they are. Yes, we get school inspectors, but they’re in on this. If you have a lot of money and are influential, who will oppose you? Some of the students don’t care either. People react differently to the things going on here. Some fight against the system and some are for it. You have an easier life here if you don’t cause any problems.”

“But you caused some, didn’t you? That’s why you were held back a year,” Levi replied and she looked away. “Yes.”

Erwin sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “This school is a mess. What I still don’t understand is why those cleansing sessions exist. The secretary told us they’re like confessions.”

Mikasa’s eyebrows shot up. “Confessions? Hm. You could call them that I suppose. Students are punished by having to go to a session. They can also willingly attend them.”

“What do you mean by punished?” Levi asked.

His question appeared to cause her some unease. She nervously reached up to her collar and played with the fabric. “Pastor Nick talks to you about your problems… He tells you… That you have a demon inside of you and then gets rid of it.”

Eren had mentioned demons before. So that was why he thought they existed. “And people believe that? That you can have demons inside you, I mean,” Levi said and she nodded.

“Younger students do. I was sent here when I was fifteen, so I knew it was bullshit what he was talking about, but young kids believe him. And once they believe in it it’s hard to convince them it’s not true. Pastor Nick is good at manipulating people,” she replied, voice growing quiet. “When he tries to…get rid of the demon the first few times it’s just praying for a few hours, but I’ve heard that if you have to go to cleansing sessions a lot that…he does different things.”

Levi had a bad feeling about all this. Different things. What did she mean by that? When he asked her she just said that she didn’t know. No one wanted to talk about it. He thought about Eren. Mikasa had said that he visited her. Did he just do that because he wanted to see her? Or…did he go to cleansing sessions. He remembered reading in the brochure that people not from this school could attend them, too. He hoped he was wrong.

“You should leave,” Mikasa abruptly said. “They’ll get suspicious if the tour takes too long. I’ve also got classes.”

“Is there any way we can contact you?” Erwin asked and she shook her head. “No. Besides, if you want answers you can just ask… Hm. No, that might be difficult I suppose. Anyway, I don’t need to help you. I don’t even know you two. I’ve said all I can. My advice for you is to stay out of this. There’s nothing you can do. And you don’t need to worry about Eren. I’m close to graduating and then I’ll leave with him. Maybe I can convince Armin to come, too...” she muttered and Levi saw Erwin’s eyes widen.

“Armin? You know him?” he asked and she nodded. “Yes… I- Why are you- No, it doesn’t matter,” she said and narrowed her eyes. “Just go and leave me alone. I don’t want to get into trouble.”

Before Levi could ask her any further questions she walked away and judging from her pace she wanted to get away from them as quickly as possible.

_Dammit! That stupid b-_

“She’s right. We should go,” Erwin said and Levi didn’t understand how he could remain so calm. All he wanted was to run up to Mikasa and give her a piece of his mind, but he couldn’t. She was already gone.

“Then let’s go,” Levi muttered and started walking. He was done with this place. Why Eren had wanted him to come here was beyond him. Had he known he would meet Mikasa? Maybe he had wanted him to meet her and know that he was taken. He was such an idiot. Here he had been trying to convince himself Eren had some dumb feelings for him.

Would Eren leave Shiganshina when Mikasa finished school? Would he go? Possibly. He didn’t know the answer to that question. If Eren had really told Mikasa he loved her…

They walked down one of the school’s corridors and Levi was ready to just leave this whole experience behind him. He was exhausted and even entertained the thought of taking a few days off. The last week had been draining.

“Levi,” Erwin whispered all of a sudden and held him back, earning him a glare.

“What is it?” he asked, pulling his hand out of Erwin’s grip. Couldn’t they just go home? What even was his problem?

“Shut up,” he said quietly and peeked around the corner. “It’s him.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “What are you talking about?” he asked and followed Erwin’s example. His eyes widened for a moment when he recognised the person going up the stairs. Grisha Jaeger. What was he doing here?

When he no longer saw him he started walking towards the stairs. “Maybe we shouldn’t-” Erwin started to say quietly, but Levi cut him off. “I’ll follow him, you go to the car,” he said. Spying on Grisha would be tougher with two people. He saw that Erwin understood when he nodded.

“Alright.”

Levi slowly went up the stairs, being careful not to make a sound. What was Eren’s dad doing here? He reached the first floor and heard someone knocking on a door. Cautiously he looked around the corner and saw Grisha standing in front of a door further down the hallway. The door opened and Levi heard someone talk and he strained his ears to hear what was going on.

“-on time. Do you have the money?” a deep voice said and Levi saw Grisha nod and he was let into the room. When the door closed Levi looked around to make sure no one was watching him. He walked up to the door and pressed one ear against the wood.

“-perfect. We appreciate your donation.”

“Has he caused you any trouble?” Levi recognised Grisha’s voice and noted that he sounded nervous.

“No, not exactly. Although, he has been coming here more often.”

“I know. Lately he’s been acting more like he used to. I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid.”

Were they talking about Eren? Mikasa had mentioned him coming to the school.

“Do you know why?”

“I… I think he’s meeting with someone I don’t know. I told him to ask me every time he meets with friends, but he hasn’t done that. I have my suspicions about who it is, but I’m not sure. Please tell me you can help him.”

“Your son is causing us to work a lot more. I’m afraid we’ll need more donations from you.”

“More? But- I’m at my limit!” Levi heard Grisha’s distress in his voice and he closed his eyes, concentrating on their conversation.

“Then we can’t help him.”

“No. I- I’ll give you more. Just help him, please. You have to.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Levi flinched when suddenly the school bell rang and he quickly made his way down the hallway and the stairs, heart pounding. He could hear voices as students left their classrooms and he hurried out of the school. So Grisha was paying the school to help Eren? With what? His father had sounded truly troubled. Levi had thought he didn’t really care about his son, but now he was no longer so sure. Although, Armin had also said that Grisha cared about Eren.

He reached Erwin’s car and got in. “We should leave,” he told him and fastened his seatbelt. Erwin gave him a quick look before he started the car and left the parking lot. Levi told him what he had heard. While he talked he saw how white Erwin’s knuckles were from holding the steering wheel so tightly.

“Does Eren know his father is paying the school?” Erwin asked and Levi sighed.

“No idea. I’ll have to ask him.”

Talking to Eren didn’t sound too appealing right now. Whenever he crossed his mind he couldn’t help but think about Mikasa, his girlfriend. He couldn’t believe Eren hadn’t told him about her. How could he have left out something so important? Levi had thought Eren liked him more than as just a friend. Was that not true?

Thinking about this was making his mood drop rapidly. Mikasa had said that Eren loved her. Did he? Was he in love with her? Levi imagined them standing next to each other, holding hands, Eren kissing her cheek. Gross. God no, he didn’t want it to be true.

“-evi? Levi, we’re here.” He looked up and saw that Erwin had opened the door on his side and was looking at him. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just peachy,” Levi said and got out of the car.

Erwin shut the car door, a frown on his face. “Is it because of Eren?”

Of course Erwin knew what he was thinking about. Having a friend who knew him so well truly sucked ass sometimes. “I think it’s just funny how he didn’t mention that he has a _girlfriend_.” He couldn’t cover up his disdain for her and his anger.

He entered their house, hearing Erwin’s footsteps behind him and he knew that he wanted to have a conversation, but right now Levi didn’t. The day had drained him. He just wanted to forget what had happened.

“Maybe-”

“Don’t even try to cheer me up. It’s not going to work,” Levi snapped, turning around and glaring up at him. “He’s taken, that’s it. He’s in fucking love with her as far as I know. When she graduates they’re leaving this town. Fine. I don’t care. I don’t fucking care.”

He left Erwin standing in the hallway and went to his room, slamming the door shut behind him. Levi sank down to the floor as soon as the door was closed, leaning against it as he sat there on the ground.

When Mikasa had told them she was Eren’s girlfriend he had felt his heart constrict painfully in his chest. He had sworn to himself he wouldn’t get into another relationship, had sworn that he’d never have feelings for someone again. What a load of bullshit. Here he was, feeling like shit because of some guy ten years younger than him. A guy who had a girlfriend he loved. How pathetic.

Eren was nothing but problems. His life was complicated, fucked up and associating with him had only made Levi’s own life even more complicated. It was odd that he even liked Eren. He was a bit of an idiot. He could be loud and annoying. Levi didn’t like loud people. He didn’t really like people at all, but somehow Eren had managed to make Levi forget about that.

When he had experienced what Eren was like when he was truly himself he had thought that he was so much better like that. He hadn’t held back any of his emotions. He had been angry, he had looked so _alive_. Levi had never seen something so captivating before. A sigh escaped his mouth and he covered his face with his hands. He was truly fucked.

It wasn’t that he didn’t care about Eren. He simply cared too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg I didn't even notice that this story has more than 2000 hits that's crazy! haha I'm kind of shocked. Thank you all so much for reading this! Also, sorry for the lack of Eren, but that's over now!
> 
> (btw if someone is worried about any relationships etc. look at the tags...)


	14. The Hedgehog's Dilemma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Is this wrong?"
> 
> "Why would it be wrong?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seeing so many people enjoy this fic is amazing. I can't thank you all enough for leaving a comment/kudos or bookmarking it. Thanks!

“Tell me what’s going on.”

Levi ignored Hanji and instead continued putting new coins into the register. It had been two days since he had been at the Shiganshina Cleansing Institute. He had been thinking about taking a few days off, but just sitting at home and feeling sorry for himself would only make himself feel even worse. He should’ve checked with whom he’d have shifts with, because if he had known he’d have to work with Hanji he really would’ve taken a day off.

“Levi. I’m your friend, but I’m also your boss and if you continue glaring at all my customers I’ll cut your pay,” she said, sounding serious and Levi rolled his eyes.

“I hate you.”

Her face lit up. “You finally talked! I was worried you’d have a permanent bitch face from now on. Not that you don’t have one already,” she laughed. Levi closed the register and looked at her.

“Funny. You’re truly hilarious,” he replied and she smiled. “No, but seriously, what’s going on? You’re so gloomy it’s depressing.”

He did feel depressed. It seemed like even though he was making progress in his investigation he was taking a few steps back when it came to Eren. It fucking sucked.

“You won’t tell me, huh? And here I thought we were friends.” Hanji sighed dramatically. “I guess I was wrong.”

Levi honestly didn’t give a shit about Hanji felt right now. He wished she’d just shut up and let the shift pass. It was an agonisingly slow day. It was pouring outside and everyone was staying inside their house if they didn’t absolutely have to go outside. Only the odd person had found their way into Sawney and Bean’s. There hadn’t been anyone here in half an hour and Levi wished Hanji would just tell him he could go home, but that wasn’t going to happen.

“Ah well, I guess you prefer suffering in silence. Fine by me. I’m taking a break,” she said and patted him on the back. “I’m always here if you need to pour your heart out.”

As if he’d ever do that.

She went to the staff room, finally leaving him alone. What a shitty day. His umbrella had given up on life when a strong gust of wind had nearly swept him off his feet, causing him to get wet. It had most likely been a warning that today wasn’t going to be good.

Five minutes passed and Levi hadn’t even seen anyone on the street outside. He busied himself by cleaning the counter for what seemed like the twentieth time this shift. How long was Hanji going to be on break? Not that he wanted her to return. He couldn’t stand her constant need for conversation. It was just that being here alone was _boring_.

The coins were all in their right slot in the register, there wasn’t a speck of filth anywhere near him and no customer was here to make time go by faster. What did other people do when they were bored? Smoke a cigarette? He would if he didn’t think they were gross. Thank god Erwin had stopped smoking. Levi remembered how he had reeked of smoke back then. It was likely that right now Erwin really wanted to take a drag.

Armin and him had had a fight the day before, at least that was what Levi thought. The walls in their house were thin and judging from their raised voices it had been an ugly fight. He had only made out a few words that had been said and had come to the conclusion that Erwin had questioned him about Mikasa. Apparently that hadn’t gone so well. Normally Levi would’ve asked Erwin what had happened the next day, but the poor sod had looked so miserable that Levi hadn’t had the heart to do so. He hoped that they had only fought and not broken up. Otherwise he’d have a broken hearted Erwin at home and he was definitely not going to deal with that.

The store doorbell announced that a person had entered the shop, but it wasn’t a normal customer. Levi felt conflicting emotions rise within him when he saw Eren. The last time they had talked was when he had basically kidnapped him. Not to mention he had punched him. Levi still regretted that.

“I’m so glad it’s warmer in here.” Eren put his umbrella in the umbrella stand and smiled at Levi, walking up to him. His hair was a mess like always and stuck to his forehead. “It’s quiet in here.”

“There’s not much going on today. It’s gross outside,” Levi replied.

“Yup. I was debating whether I should come here today or not, but decided I needed the sugar after all.”

“We’re all alone, Eren. There’s no one here,” Levi informed him and saw Eren’s smile vanish in an instant and his eyes darken. It was strange seeing his façade fade away so quickly. Strange, but good.

“Did you go to the school?” he asked, looking at him expectantly.

Levi took a piece of Sachertorte and put it in a small box for Eren. “I did. The people there are all deranged, you know that, right? They basically imprison their students. And what’s up with those cleansing sessions?”

Eren put money on the counter. “So you don’t believe me,” he grumbled.

“Believe you?” Levi took the money from him and sighed. “They’re telling their students some bullshit about being overtaken by demons. Of course I don’t believe that. Any sensible person wouldn’t.”

“I thought you’d understand,” Eren said. Levi looked into his eyes. “You know, Eren, I don’t think you believe that shit yourself.”

He saw his eyes narrow and knew that he had struck a nerve. “What?”

“You don’t believe what they told you. You don’t really think that demons exist. And you wanted me to go to the school to strengthen your own beliefs,” Levi told him. “I don’t know why you pretend to believe in that bullshit. Is it because of your dad?”

Eren turned away, visibly upset by his words. Levi had originally wanted to make up with Eren when he saw him again, apologise for punching him, but after meeting Mikasa those thoughts had flown out the window.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you?” Eren looked back at him. “Tell you what?”

“That you have a girlfriend,” Levi said and watched Eren’s eyes widen in surprise.

“What? Who told you that?”

“I met Mikasa. Your girlfriend.”

Honestly, Levi would’ve preferred it if he hadn’t met Mikasa at all. It would’ve been better if Eren himself had told him about his relationship with her.

It was odd. He thought Eren would maybe apologise, look regretful, but instead he only looked even more confused. “My girlfr- Oh.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Mikasa’s my sister.”

Levi drew in a sharp breath. “Eren, that’s really fucked up,” he replied shocked.

“No! I-I didn’t mean it like that! Ew, that’s…” he shivered and grimaced. “No, she’s _like_ my sister.”

That didn’t make the whole situation any better. “But if she’s like a sister to you, why are you two…together?” Even asking him that made him want to vomit.

“We’re not together,” Eren told him and played with the hem of his shirt. “She thinks we are. We’re not. I keep telling her that I don’t like her in that way, but she ignores that. I love her like a sister, I told her that and yet she… It’s difficult.”

Yeah, it sounded difficult. But, wait.

“You told her you love her? Like a sister?” he asked and Eren nodded. “Yes.”

So he wasn’t actually in love with her. They weren’t together. She wasn’t his girlfriend. Levi couldn’t help but smile in relief. He had been worried over nothing!

“Uhm, are you alright?” Eren inquired. “Your smile is kind of creepy.”

Maybe it was. He didn’t give a shit. Eren wasn’t in a relationship. That bitch wasn’t together with him!

“Why does she think she’s your girlfriend?” Levi stopped smiling, although he still felt elated.

Eren shrugged. “I don’t know. She just likes me. Mikasa cares a lot about me. We always stuck together in school,” he explained. “Back then she gradually started touching me more and well, she tried to kiss me. I told her I didn’t want that. I really like spending time with her, don’t get me wrong, but when she tries to kiss me and stuff I never know what to do.” He laughed awkwardly. “I keep telling her she’s like a sister to me. I don’t think she gets it.”

No kidding. Mikasa thought that Eren loved her so much that he’d leave Shiganshina with her.

“Did you tell her that she’s not your girlfriend?” Levi asked.

“Yeah, multiple times. She should get it, shouldn’t she?” Eren replied. “I try to be nice about it. I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

Levi let out a sigh at Eren’s stupidity. “If you keep being nice about it then she’ll continue thinking she’s your girlfriend. It sounds like she’s forcing herself on you.”

“It’s not like that,” Eren said, but he sounded unsure. “I’ll tell her more...firmly next time I see her, alright? I’ll tell her.”

Hopefully she’d leave him alone then. Levi didn’t like the thought of Eren being forced into a relationship he didn’t want. He knew what that was like all too well.

“By the way, did you know that your dad pays the school? I guess I should rephrase that. He ‘donates’ money,” Levi told him, not sure if it was a wise decision to tell him, but it was too late now.

Surprisingly, Eren didn’t seem shocked at all. “Of course. I pay them, too.”

“What? Why?” Levi asked, setting Eren’s bagged purchase on the counter.

“I sometimes go there and use their services. Of course they aren’t free,” he said. “Dad pays them to finance Mikasa’s education. She always stays at our house during summer vacation.” He ran a hand through his wet hair and grimaced, wiping his hand on his jeans. “Lately they’ve been raising the fees, so my dad asked me to help him with that.”

It seemed like Eren had no idea his father was paying for him. But did that mean that his father _and_ Eren paid for his sessions? Levi could imagine that Grisha paid for Mikasa too, but just how much money did the school want so that they could continue helping Eren?

“Is that why you can’t move out?” Levi asked, remembering one of their conversations. “Eren, how much money do you have left after you pay the school?”

Eren shrugged, glancing away. “Uhm. Enough? I mean, it’s fine…”

“How much?”

“…I guess right now nothing. My dad pays me by letting me stay at our house and buying food.”

It was even worse than he had thought. Eren had a full time job and didn’t have any money left after paying the school. And hadn’t the guy at the school said that he’d need even more money from Grisha?

“And that’s fine with you?”

“Of course not!” Eren suddenly snapped and huffed. “I feel like a kid! Whenever my father gives me money it’s like I get pocket money.”

“Then why not stop going to the school?” If Eren did that he’d save him and his father a lot of money. Problem solved.

“I can’t do that,” Eren said. “I have to go there. And you don’t even need to try changing my mind. It’s not going to happen.”

“Yeah, because you’re a stubborn brat,” Levi told him, exasperated by his inability to follow his advice. He simply didn’t understand why Eren did the things he did. Why was he going to continue paying the school money if he could just quit? Then he could move out and stop being dependant on his father.

“Your dad is abusing you, isn’t he?” Levi asked, startling Eren. “You didn’t want to go back home. You begged Erwin not to take you there.”

“He isn’t,” was Eren’s reply. “Don’t throw that word around.”

He wasn’t fooling anyone. There was no doubt in Levi’s mind that Grisha was doing horrible things to his son.

“I’m not. What I’m saying is the truth. Eren, he doesn’t even pay you for your work. He’s intentionally making you depend on him. He doesn’t even let you see your friends unless you ask him!”

“Who told you that?” Eren’s usual bright green eyes were dark, but Levi wouldn’t let himself get intimidated by him. “It was Armin, wasn’t it? Have you been talking about me behind my back?”

But he really didn’t want Armin to get involved in this. Fuck. He shouldn’t have mentioned that. Levi walked around the counter, closing the distance between them.

“I’m worried about you,” he admitted, hoping Eren would see reason and let himself get some help.

“And? That’s not my problem, is it?” Eren told him, staring down at him. “And despite the horrible things you’ve done I still put my trust in you and told you to go to my old school. I thought you’d understand.”

“What is there to understand? I don’t get it!” Levi snapped, taking a step towards him. “They’re feeding you lies! They’re making you believe that you need help getting rid of a fucking demon when such a thing doesn’t even exist. They’re making your dad pay for it! He’s giving them all his money so that you can go there. They’re scamming you both!”

Eren slightly shook his head. “I- No. He’s paying because Mikas-”

“That’s a fucking lie, Eren! It’s because of you!” he yelled, the urge to punch some sense into him strong, but he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. “It’s because you go to these stupid cleansing sessions! That’s the reason why your dad needs more money! They don’t want to help you, they just want your cash!”

Levi stopped to catch his breath, surprised at himself for losing his composure, but when it came to Eren he couldn’t control himself. He wanted him to get it through his thick head that he was only causing himself problems. Everything would be better if he just stopped giving the school his money, if he just lived his life without thinking he was fucked up.

“No,” Eren said, looking at the floor. “They can help me. I-I don’t care about how much money they need as long as they can help.”

“You don’t need help. You’re fine the way you are,” Levi replied and watched Eren’s shoulders start to shake.

“I do. I’m a monster,” he murmured, lifting his head to look at him. “You don’t understand. They can help me. They said they can. My dad…he’s scared of me.”

Levi remembered Grisha’s words. He had thought that he was simply afraid of Eren not acting like he wanted him to, but could there really be more to it?

“You’re not a monster. Why do you think that?” he asked, hating how afraid Eren looked right now. “I don’t understand.”

“I was doing so well,” he continued, ignoring his words. “I thought I was finally good and then I met you. You ruined it all. You were the only person who liked me, the real me. You made me believe that maybe I shouldn’t hide, but you were wrong. You are wrong. When I get close to people I hurt them. All I do is hurt others. All I do is cause my father more pain.”

“But you can’t live like this, hiding who you really are!” Levi said and took another step forward, standing directly in front of him. “You can’t.”

“Why not? That way no one gets hurt. That way my father will be fine. Everyone will be happy,” Eren whispered.

“You won’t be happy! Do you honestly not care for yourself at all?” Levi asked, heart hurting at the thought. “And it’s not true, that no one gets hurt. You’ll hurt me. I don’t care about the fake Eren. I care about you, the real you. You’re fine the way you are. I like your stupid jokes, your cheeky remarks. I like it when you’re rude and say what’s on your mind. I like _you_ , the real Eren Jaeger.”

It was silent after he had admitted his feelings for him. Eren was staring at him, but Levi was unable to guess what he was thinking. It didn’t matter what it was, did it? He didn’t care what Eren thought about him now. He just needed him to know that there was someone who liked him for who he really was.

“You’re an idiot.”

Levi had imagined how it would be, late at night when he was in bed and Erwin was asleep. He had tried to picture who would give in first, if it would be a surprise or not. Would they be in the middle of an argument? Or maybe they had gone out and were about to part ways when the other finally gave in. He had imagined dozens of scenarios, some ending in a bittersweet goodbye, some of them in his bed with Eren under him.

Eren’s lips were soft against his own, so unlike any others’ that had found their way to his lips. At first Levi didn’t know how he should react. He hadn’t expected Eren to initiate it, especially after listening to Armin going on about how he was worried about his friend finding out that he was together with Erwin. It was a surprise. A good one.

Not even five seconds had passed when Eren pulled back. It hadn’t been more than their lips touching. They both hadn’t moved, but it had still made his heart beat faster and his skin feel hot. Levi opened his eyes, searching for Eren’s and he was taken aback by how…conflicted he looked.

“Is this wrong?” Eren asked, voice quiet.

“Why would it be wrong?” Levi replied. “If two people like each other that’s good, isn’t it?”

“It’s against what they told me. It’s against what my father wants.”

“But is it against what you want?”

“No.”

“Then do what you want for a change. Don’t let other people rule your life. Make your own decisions,” Levi said and Eren nodded.

“Then I’ll do what I want,” he told him.

“And what do you want?”

“I want to kiss you again.”

Levi let out a short laugh at Eren’s bluntness. “I’m fine with that.”

Yes. That was absolutely fine with him.

Or, it would have been, if he hadn’t forgotten about one crucial thing. They weren’t really alone.

“Levi, you can continue kissing after your shift is over.”

Fuck. He had completely forgotten about Hanji.

Reluctantly he stepped away from Eren who looked like he was about to have a panic attack.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone,” Hanji assured him and smiled. “Actually I’m not even that surprised this happened. Marco told me you two have been meeting up.”

“Y-you won’t tell?” Eren said, eyes wide. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to distract Levi or anythin-”

“It’s fine. It was my fault for going on break anyway and letting Levi out of my eyes.”

As if he needed constant surveillance. He wasn’t a child. Still, she was his boss and he didn’t want her to cut his pay.

“I’m sorry,” he forced himself to say and saw her eyes light up. “You apologised! Wow, Eren must be really influencing you. I have to admit you two looked cute when you kissed.”

“You saw that?” Eren asked alarmed and she nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! And like I said, don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone. That will be pretty hard, though…”

Levi could feel a headache setting in. Hanji was the last person he had wanted to find out. Jesus Christ he was so screwed.

“Here, don’t forget your cake.” He took the bag and handed it to Eren. “You’d better get out of here or she’ll ask you a million questions,” he advised him. Thankfully he took his advice seriously and started walking towards the door, only quickly stopping to take his umbrella.

“So, uhm, I’ll see you around!” Eren awkwardly said, cheeks pink and he hurried out of Sawney and Bean’s.

“Levi,” Hanji started talking and Levi turned around to face her. “What?

“Seems like you’ve got a lot to tell me. I heard some interesting things,” she said.

“How much did you hear?” he asked, desperately hoping she had only tuned in at the end.

“Everything.”

Ah. Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi didn't fuck it up, what a surprise!


	15. Tranquility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Then why do you?"
> 
> "Because I like you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates might be a bit slower because uni started again (ugh). Thank you all again for commenting!! <3 I'm so glad you still like this story.

He slammed the door shut behind him, letting out a long sigh of relief. Finally he was home. Talking to Hanji for such a length of time had truly taken it out of him.

It was just his luck that she had heard everything Eren and he had been talking about. And of course that had led to her closing the shop and forcing him to spill the beans. He had tried to get out of that, but after she had threatened to pour hot coffee over him like the lunatic she was, he had given in. She would’ve only bothered him about it every single day of the rest of his life anyway.

Hanji’s reaction was very much like he had expected it to be. She had demanded to know why he hadn’t informed her about it beforehand, she had gushed about him liking Eren and then she had got serious about Eren’s troubled situation. Levi wasn’t sure if her knowing was a good thing or not. He only hoped that she wouldn’t bother Eren.

Levi walked to the kitchen, expecting to see Erwin’s latest cooking experiment, but he was utterly disappointed when he noticed that the kitchen was still spotless, completely unused. What was he doing? It was Erwin’s turn to cook today. Levi seriously didn’t have the energy to prepare a meal for himself. Besides, the car was parked in the garage. He should be here. Did he forget?

Annoyed by Erwin’s incapability to do his share of work Levi walked down the hallway to his room. He quickly opened the door. “Erwin, why the _fuck_ is there no-”

He paused, trying to comprehend what he was seeing.

Erwin was staring at him, his hair a complete mess. On top of him was Armin whose head was turned away, naked and his whole face red. Levi’s eyes wandered down, his fears confirmed. He had just walked in on them having sex. He closed his eyes, trying to get the image of Armin riding Erwin out of his head.

“What do you need?” Erwin had the audacity to ask, sounding like he wasn’t bothered at all by him being here.

“What I need? You were supposed to cook!” Levi replied, pissed off at him but also at himself. He really should’ve knocked before entering.

There was a short moment of silence and then Erwin sighed. “Ah, yeah. I forgot. I’ll make something after Armin and I finish.”

“Erwin!” he heard Armin exclaim and Levi could imagine his shocked expression.

Walking in on them had lessened his hunger somewhat and Levi wouldn’t be able to look at Erwin’s face for the rest of the day. Or week.

“No. I’ll make something myself, you useless shit,” Levi told him and left, closing the door and opening his eyes again. Now that had been uncomfortable. He would never be able to get that image out of his head. How the fuck could Armin even- No. He was not going to think about that. Holy fuck, no.

But wait. Hadn’t they been fighting? Had they already made up? Maybe that was their make up sex. God, he seriously needed to stop thinking about this.

Levi walked to the kitchen, accepting that he was going to have to cook for himself. Had Erwin already had dinner? Maybe he should make more. It wasn’t like he deserved it, though. No. He’d only make enough food for himself. Was he being unnecessarily resentful? Perhaps.

While he was cooking Levi thought back to his conversation with Eren which led to him spending a lot of time recalling the kiss. Could he even call it a kiss? It had only been their lips touching. It hadn’t been very romantic at all. And yet it had felt special. Maybe because it had been Eren who had initiated it.

He still had his doubts about if them kissing had been alright, just as expected. His whole life people must have told Eren that liking the same gender was wrong and overcoming such a belief was hard. It would take time until he was fully comfortable with it. Levi didn’t mind. He’d let him take all the time he needed.

 

* * *

 

 

“What are we going to do now?” Erwin asked a month later, setting down his now empty glass on the table.

Levi shrugged. “Nothing.”

That reply earned him a confused look from his friend. “Nothing? We found out that there’s a school here in town whose students are treated like shit. It’s basically a prison,” he reminded him. “And you don’t want to do anything about it?”

“What are we supposed to do? You heard what Mikasa said. There are a lot of people involved who keep that school running. What could we possibly do?” he replied.

“But don’t you want to stop Eren from going there?” Erwin asked him and Levi nodded. “Yes. Changing his mind is going to be…tough. He’s stubborn.”

Far too stubborn. Talking to Eren about the school or his father only upset him and Levi thus avoided bringing those topics up. There was no way he was going to ruin their relationship. If you could even call it a relationship. Sure, they sometimes kissed – only chaste kisses but hey, he’d take what he could get – but they didn’t go out on dates or did what Levi categorised as couply stuff. Of course that was because Eren was still unsure about being with a man. Or maybe he was afraid that his father would find out about them.

Levi took another swig from his beer. “Right now I don’t want to fuck anything up.”

“I honestly still can’t quite believe that you two are a thing now,” Erwin said. “You’re so…how should I say…I didn’t think you were Eren’s type.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he asked briskly.

“That’s exactly what I mean. You’re so rude and vulgar.”

Levi glared at him. “Thanks for the compliment, dickhead.”

Erwin only smiled in response. “And thank you for proving my point. I only thought that Eren would be slightly turned off by your personality. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Well, offence taken,” he grumbled. “By the way, can you promise me to put up a sign or whatever when you’re having sex with Armin? I don’t want to walk in on you again. It was gross.”

“Why was it gross?”

“Seriously? Did you think I would find the sight of you balls deep into him arousing?” Levi questioned and looked to his left when Hanji came back from the bathroom.

“Who was balls deep into whom?” she asked curiously and Levi rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t matter. It was disgusting. I don’t want to see that again.”

“Ah, are you talking about Armin?” Hanji said and looked at Erwin who nodded, lips stretching into a smirk. “Yes.”

“Nice,” she gave her approval and drank from her glass while Levi sighed, shaking his head. “I’m surrounded by idiots.”

He wouldn’t tell Erwin, but he was secretly very relieved that things between him and Armin were alright. He hated seeing him hurting. Erwin had given up so much for him. His friend didn’t deserve bad things happening to him.

Levi still hadn’t talked to him about why they had had a short – very short – falling out, but he wouldn’t push him to talk. If Erwin wanted to talk about it he would. If he didn’t that was also fine. Although, he was pretty curious…

“Have you and Eren had sex yet?” Hanji suddenly asked, elbows on the table and leaning forward.

“That’s none of your business,” he said sharply. “But no, we haven’t. All we’ve done so far is kiss.”

“Is that disappointment I hear?” she chuckled and he glowered at her. “Shut up.”

She pushed her glasses up. “Okay, okay, sorry. Sheesh, I thought you could take a joke.”

“I can, yours just aren’t that funny,” he muttered into his glass, finishing the rest of his beer. They had just been together for a month. It was a miracle Eren hadn’t freaked out about him really being gay yet. Was he gay? Maybe he was also bisexual.

Erwin was tapping with one fingernail against his glass. “Say, Hanji. Do you think we should do something about the school?”

Levi glared at him while Hanji tilted her head. “What school?”

“The Shiganshina Cleansing Institute.”

“Ah! Levi told me about that. It’s terrible, isn’t it? I do wonder what they’re doing there. You guys probably haven’t discovered half of the fucked up shit that’s going on. Hm. As much as I want to do something or go investigate, I don’t know how that would turn out. It looks like it’s a big organisation with a lot of people involved from higher up,” she explained. “I don’t know anybody who attended the school, either. Well, except Eren.”

Talking to Eren about his school usually resulted in him ignoring him or changing the subject. Ever since Levi had said he thought the teachers had only told him bullshit he wasn’t willing to talk about it anymore. “He’s not going to tell us anything. I’ve tried,” Levi said.

“And what about Armin?” Hanji suggested and Erwin frowned. “Why him?”

“He’s Eren’s best friend. He has to know something, even if he went to a different school. I can’t imagine Eren not talking to him about it.”

“That’s...true, I suppose,” Erwin replied. “I don’t know if he wants to talk to me about that, though. The last time I asked him about how he knew Mikasa he got upset.”

“Of course he got upset, because he’s hiding something!”

“I agree. Armin definitely knows what’s going on, or at least part of it.” Levi had questioned him many times about Eren and he had always had the feeling that he was not telling him everything. But how were they going to make him talk?

“You should talk to him again.”

Erwin looked conflicted. “I don’t know. I really don’t want to have another fight with him.”

“Then I’ll ask him,” Hanji offered and Levi raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? He has no idea you’re even involved in this.”

“But that’s perfect, isn’t it? He won’t suspect anything!”

This was going to be a disaster.

“It’s worth a try,” Erwin agreed. Levi sighed, knowing Hanji was going to try no matter what they said. “Fine.”

“Alright! It’s settled then. I’ll ask him the next time I have a shift with him. Man, I’m pretty excited now! What kind of dark secrets is he keeping?” she muttered to herself.

Yes. This was truly not going to go well.

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Have you told Armin about us?”

Eren put down his book to look at him. “Yeah, I told him last week. He wasn’t as shocked as I thought he would be,” he said, brushing a loose strand of hair away from his face. They were sitting on the couch at the far back of the library, enjoying the relaxing atmosphere of a place with few people and lots of books. The sun was setting, painting the library in an orange light and Levi couldn’t help but notice how it made Eren’s eyes appear almost golden. God, he seriously needed to stop being this sappy.

“Did you think he would make a scene?” Levi asked and heard Eren let out a sigh. “No. Well…I just thought he’d…I don’t know.” He turned to his book again. “I don’t know what I expected.”

“It’s good that he didn’t make a big deal out of it,” he told him, continuing reading his own book as well.

They both were silent for a few minutes, lost in their own worlds until Eren closed his book. “He told me that he’s in a relationship with Erwin. They’ve been together for a while now.”

Levi didn’t look up, mulling over how to respond. Eren’s voice led him to belief that this upset him. “What did you say to him?”

“That he should’ve told me,” he replied. “I’m his friend, aren’t I? I would’ve never rejected him. We’ve been friends for years.” He drew his legs up and wrapped his arms around them. “I hate that he thinks he has to hide parts of his life from me.”

But wasn’t that exactly what Eren was doing, too? Levi couldn’t help but think that he was a hypocrite. He was the person with the most secrets and yet he thought it was unfair when other people didn’t tell him everything?

“You can’t blame him. Coming out to someone is hard, especially when you know they have conflicting feelings regarding homosexuals.” Levi closed his own book, giving up on reading after being stuck on a paragraph for a minute. “Aren’t you being unfair?”

Eren looked out of the window to their left. “I guess you’re right. I’m a pretty shitty friend, aren’t I?” He closed his eyes, leaving Levi to unabashedly stare at him. They both had similar insecurities. Being inadequate, being unable to hold on to people that meant something to them. The thought that Erwin would someday realise Levi wasn’t worth keeping around often crossed his mind. It was pathetic how much he depended on him.

“I never wanted him to feel like he has to hide, you know? He means a lot to me,” Eren continued. “Armin told me that he thought I’d stop being his friend once I found out. Hearing him say that… It made me realise how much damage I had caused him. What kind of friend makes the other person fear such rejection? It made me feel sick to my stomach.”

He opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Levi. “I don’t want to hurt others. I don’t want to hurt my friends.”

“Then don’t,” Levi simply replied. “You accepted him, didn’t you? You made him worry, yeah, but in the end it worked out. There’s no point in feeling bad about it anymore. You made a mistake and you learned from it. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Eren cracked a smile at that, the sadness in his eyes disappearing. “I have no idea how you do that,” he said, causing Levi to look at him confused. “What do you mean?”

“You always make everything seem better. You have a way with words.”

“Huh. Maybe I should be a motivational trainer or some shit like that,” Levi said and Eren laughed. “I have a feeling other people wouldn’t find you motivational, though.”

“No? Then why do you?”he asked and Eren shrugged, smiling softly. “Because I like you.”

Levi looked away from him, not wanting him to see the effects of his blood rushing up to his face. “You’re going to be the death of me, kid.”

“I’m not a kid!” Eren replied. “I’m nineteen! Next year I’ll be twenty.”

“That’s…kind of a given…” Levi muttered, wondering why he thought Eren’s rare outbursts of stupidity were endearing. He had it bad, hadn’t he?

“A-anyway. Isn’t it weird if you call me a kid?” Eren asked.

“Why should it?”

“That makes me think there’s some huge age gap between us.”

Levi looked at him in disbelief. “I hate to break it to you, but there kind of is.”

“No there isn’t! I’m nineteen and you’re what, twenty-two?” Eren said.

“…I’m twenty-nine, Eren. I’ve told you that before,” he said and exhaled sharply. “Sometimes I seriously wonder what’s going on in that head of yours.”

“Oh fuck off,” Eren murmured, cheeks tinged pink. “I simply forgot! Besides, I don’t mind. That’s just ten years. You could be fifty and I wouldn’t care.”

“At that point I would start caring,” Levi replied and out of the corner of his eye saw the librarian staring at them disapprovingly. “Maybe we should get going.” He stood up and stretched, hearing his spine pop.

“Then let’s go, old man,” Eren laughed which earned him a glare. “I’m not old.”

“And I’m not a kid,” was the reply. Touché.

They left the library and walked next to each other down the street. Levi felt their hands brush against each other multiple times and wondered if people in Shiganshina would mind seeing two men holding hands. Back in Trost he had seen same sex couples out on the street and no one had said anything. However, in small towns things were often different.

“I’m leaving town for a few days next week,” Eren suddenly informed him.

“Oh? What for?” Levi asked curiously.

“My father and I are going to a convention. So, if you get sick you’ll need to drive to Stohess,” he said and Levi looked up at him. “A convention?”

Eren nodded. “Yeah. It’s held once a year. I’m not really looking forward to it. I always get bored.”

That didn’t surprise Levi at all. Eren was the kind of person who had a pretty short attention span when it came to certain things. “What’s the convention for?” he asked.

“It’s not that interesting. Just some business stuff,” Eren replied vaguely, further adding to Levi’s growing curiosity. However, if Eren didn’t want to talk about it then he wouldn’t. Pushing him to talk would only upset him.

They continued walking in mostly silence until they reached Levi’s house. “Do you want to come in?” Levi asked him, already knowing his answer.

“Ah, no. I should get going,” Eren replied. “Maybe next time.”

“Are you afraid your father will find out you’re here?” Levi asked him, watching Eren frown.

“Yes,” he said honestly. “He always knows where I am.”

“That’s impossible. Does he have a tracker on you or something?” Levi joked and Eren rolled his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

That explanation wasn’t as ridiculous as believing one’s father had supernatural abilities. Well, whatever. Arguing with Eren about this was a lost cause. That guy was as stubborn as they came.

“But, my dad is out of town tomorrow,” Eren said with a sly smile on his face. “You can come over if you want to.”

“That sounds like something somebody would say when they’re in high school,” Levi replied dryly and Eren sighed. “Why do you always ruin these things?”

“What things?”

“Doesn’t matter... Anyway, how about it?” he asked and Levi saw how hopeful he looked.

“Sure, why not?”

Eren grinned, causing Levi to smile. “Great! Although that means I’ll have to clean before you come over.”

“That would be a wise thing to do.” If it was too dirty he’d spend all his time there cleaning up.

“I’ll make sure I do that then,” he assured him and rubbed the back of his neck. “How about we go there together after you get off work? You’ve got till two, right?” he asked, waiting for Levi to nod. “Right. Good. That’s the plan for tomorrow.”

Levi didn’t know why Eren sounded so nervous. They had been spending a lot of time together for a while now. Was he worried about Levi not finding his house adequate or something? “I’m looking forward to it.”

“Yeah, me too,” Eren said, smiling softly. “I’ll get going then. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He looked down both ends of the street before bending down slightly to kiss Levi, catching said person off guard. Eren had never kissed him in public before. Levi had always had the feeling that Eren was a bit embarrassed about their relationship, but maybe that wasn’t the case.

They both pulled back after a few seconds and Levi saw that Eren’s face was red again. Judging from his reactions to kissing he believed that he didn’t have much experience with it. That didn’t mean his kisses were bad, he was just inexperienced. Had he never been in a relationship before? Was Levi his first?

“See you,” Eren said, smiling at him warmly before walking away. Levi used to despise it when he smiled, but that was back when he had faked it. His normal, genuine smiles were pleasant to look at and made Levi’s stomach do weird things.

Did Eren also feel like that whenever Levi smiled? He was sometimes worried that his feelings were more profound than Eren’s. It was stupid to worry about that and yet he couldn’t help himself. He didn’t want to fuck this up. He used to know what to do in a relationship, but now he was unsure of himself. All because of that stupid bitch.

Levi unlocked the front door and walked inside, now a small smile on his face as he thought about the next day. Eren’s house, huh? That ought to be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a slower chapter, but what do you call it? Calm before the storm? It's something like that.


	16. New Territory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Levi, what's your phone number?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know that I keep re-reading all of your comments? They make me so damn happy you have no idea. Also, this chapter was a pain to write.

“You can just put them there.”

Quickly, Levi slipped out of his shoes and put them next to Eren’s. As they had agreed upon they had walked to his house after Levi had finished work. Before they had left Hanji had made comments Levi had intentionally ignored. She was going to be the death of him some day.

“Do you want some coffee? Or tea?” Eren asked him, hanging his jacket up.

“Coffee.” He followed Eren to the kitchen, which was cleaner than he had thought it would be. Everything was neatly in place, no used dishes were in the sink and there were no stains. However, because it was so clean it looked almost unused.

While Levi was busy inspecting the place Eren turned on the coffee machine and poured water inside. “With lots of milk and two spoons of sugar, right?” he asked and Levi nodded, then spoke up when he realised Eren couldn’t see him. “Yes.”

When he had first ordered coffee it had amused his boyfriend greatly that he took his coffee like that. _“You look like you’re constantly on the verge of committing a murder and yet your coffee is practically milk and sugar with a hint of actual coffee. I really don’t get you.”_ Levi didn’t know why it had been so funny, but he let it slide. At least Eren had laughed earnestly.

“You’ve got a huge ass house,” Levi commented and Eren turned to look at him. “Uh, I guess so. My dad inherited it from my grandparents,” he said, then grabbed a green and a red mug from above. “I always found it too big. Although, it made for some great hiding spots when I was little,” he chuckled.

“Do your mother’s grandparents still live?” Levi couldn’t help but ask.

“No. Actually, I don’t really have any relatives except for my dad. I think I might have a cousin, but they’re somewhere in Germany. My dad’s parents died young, they were already dead when I was born and it was the same with my mum’s mother. Her father died when I was five,” he told him. “What about your family? You never talk about them.”

That was because Levi didn’t have much of a family. He preferred not to talk about them if he could help it, but it was unfair to ask Eren and not tell him about himself in return. “My mum died when I was young,” he said. “I didn’t know my father.”

“Ah, that’s...you don’t have to talk about it,” Eren replied, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry for asking.”

“Why are you sorry? It’s fine. I’ve got some relatives but I don’t care about contacting them. I don’t need them,” Levi explained and came across a photo on the fridge as he walked around. It showed a young Eren with his father, smiling at the camera with Eren on Grisha’s shoulders. “How old were you when this photo was taken?” Levi asked and Eren walked over to him.

“I think I was about eight? Wait, why are you smiling like that?”

“You were adorable,” he chuckled and enjoyed watching Eren blush. “I-I wasn’t!”

“Oh yes you were. Look at those chubby cheeks,” he teased him. “And look at your tiny hands.”

Eren muttered something under his breath and returned to the coffee machine, pushing a button and Levi heard it come to life. Why was Eren embarrassed about this picture? Levi thought it was pretty darn cute. Although, something seemed off. He took a closer look at it and noticed that on the left edge of the photo it looked to be cut off. Yes, it was definitely cut off. The edge wasn’t straight. Should he ask Eren about it?

“Here.” Levi took his mug from Eren, wincing at how hot it was. He set it down on the table, took a seat and heard Eren laugh. “You know, you could just take it by the handle.”

“And risk it breaking off?” Levi replied, shivering at the memory of spilling hot tea over his lap. “I’d rather not.” He wouldn’t ask Eren right now. The reason why the photo was cut off was most likely known to him and Levi didn’t want to have tense conversation. No, he was here to enjoy himself.

Eren shook his head and sat down, a smile tugging at his lips as he raised his own cup and blew softly on the surface before taking a small sip. “You’re weird,” he said, a twinkle in his eye. “But then I again I am also not the most normal person.”

“You’re fucking confusing, that’s what you are,” Levi muttered. “But that’s not bad. I hate predictable people.”

“Why? Isn’t it easier to talk to someone when you know exactly how they’re going to respond? Or how you can make them respond in a way you want to?” Eren asked and Levi was once again surprised by one of his questions. The way he had phrased it made it almost sound manipulative, something he didn’t associate with Eren.

“It’s boring though, isn’t it? I hate being bored,” Levi said, gripping the rim of his mug and taking a sip of his nearly too hot coffee.

Eren hummed in acknowledgement, his leg under the table bumping into Levi’s. “I’m not boring you?”

“You’re the least boring person in this entire town,” he replied and leaned back in his chair. “How long are you going to be gone for?” Levi was still on edge about the whole convention thing. Eren had avoided any of his questions about the event thus far. He didn’t buy his explanation that it was some business meeting. If it was, then why would Eren accompany his father? He had made it sound like he went with him every year. He just had a bad feeling about this whole thing.

“Five days. I’ll be back on Saturday.” Eren drank from his cup again, looking out of the window to his right. Levi followed his gaze and saw that it had started to rain. “I’ll miss you.”

“It’s only five days. You’ll survive,” Levi said. “It’ll just be incredibly boring without me there.”

Eren smiled and looked back at him. “True. I’ll imagine you talking shit about everyone. That will help me feel better.”

“See? You’ll be fine.” Levi wondered if he would be fine. When it came to Eren he tended to worry. A lot. No one could blame him, right? That kid just screamed trouble.

Eren nodded and the two finished their coffee in relative silence, both lost in thought. Levi was staring at Eren while he was busy looking down at his coffee. He often wondered what went through his head. His boyfriend acted like he was fine, like nothing was wrong, but he wasn’t. Levi frequently thought back to Eren’s breakdown at his and Erwin’s house. It was tough to forget something like that. The memory of Eren breaking down crying, sobbing his heart out while he told them he’d die would stay with him for a long time. Maybe forever.

“Is something wrong?” Eren asked him, having caught Levi staring and he shook his head. “No.”

“Ah, Levi, I nearly forgot,” he said and grinned. “I have a surprise for you.”

Eren stood up and took both of their cups, carrying them to the sink. “It’s up in my room.”

“What surprise?” Levi asked curiously and also stood up. He watched Eren smile smugly. “You’ll see. Now come.” He quickly walked out of the kitchen and Levi followed him. They went up some wooden stairs, passing by more rooms. Was it lonely, living here? Eren and his father lived in a house which was far too big for only two people. Levi was sometimes bothered by his and Erwin’s house. Yes, it was small, but there was still one room they had no idea what to use for. And they had not been living there for all their lives, unlike Eren.

Levi entered Eren’s room and it wasn’t what he had expected it to be. Eren was a young man, having just left behind his teen years and Levi knew how rooms of young people tended to look like. He had shared a room with Erwin at one point in his life after all. But Eren’s room was...immaculate. There was nothing out of place. His desk was cleaned up nicely, there weren’t any clothes on the ground, heck, there weren’t even any clothes on his chair. His small bed wasn’t a mess, the CDs next to his stereo weren’t scattered around and there were no posters on the wall. And maybe that was what really bothered him. There was no personality to Eren’s room. Usually a room mirrored its owner, but this one didn’t. It looked generic.

“How long did you need to clean?” Levi asked. There was the possibility that Eren had just stuffed a lot of his things into his closet and ripped down embarrassing posters.

“Not that long. I just vacuumed real quick. I usually keep my room pretty clean,” Eren replied and walked over to his desk. And here Eren had been worrying about it being too dirty for him. Seeing such a clean room should theoretically make Levi happy. He couldn’t stand messes after all, but it was so out of place. It shouldn’t be this clean. It shouldn’t feel so cold.

Levi looked around the room. There weren’t any signs that there had been posters decorating the walls at one point. And the question was, why was it so barren? Why had Eren not bothered to give his room more personality?

“Levi, what’s your phone number?” Eren suddenly asked and Levi frowned, turning around. “Why would you nee-” Eren was standing at his desk, a new phone in his right hand. “Did you buy this?” Levi asked shocked. Whenever he had asked him about getting one Eren had just told him he had no need for one.

“Actually this is Armin’s old one. I asked him if he still had it and he gave it to me,” Eren said and bit his lower lip. “I just thought- You kept saying I needed to get a phone and I didn’t want to spend my time at the convention without you soooo, I thought why not? Armin was also happy that I changed my mind.”

“Took you long enough,” Levi murmured and walked over to him, taking his phone. Just as he had suspected it wasn’t locked. “I’m just typing in my number,” he said and Eren moved behind him to watch. “You do know how to operate a phone, right?” he asked.

“Uh, not really, no,” Eren admitted and took his phone back from him. “But, I’ll figure it out. It can’t be that hard. Armin showed me how to make a phone call and text.”

At least he knew the basics. “You should make sure it’s locked,” he told him. “You’ll take it with you to the convention, won’t you?”

Eren nodded. “Yeah. I’ll have to make sure my dad doesn’t find it,” he said, raising the subject Levi had been wanting to talk about.

“I’m guessing he wouldn’t be too happy if he found out you have a phone.”

“Yes. I once asked him about getting one and he said he doesn’t like not knowing what I’m up to,” Eren replied and sat down on his bed, putting his phone into the drawer of his bedside table. “I want to stay in contact with you, though.”

Eren was starting to defy his father, even if it was in small ways. Levi couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of pride. He had desperately wanted for him to think for himself and now it looked like he was beginning to do exactly that.

With a sigh Eren let himself fall back onto his bed. “This is all so complicated,” he complained and Levi sat down next to him, looking over his body. “I know. It’s not fair, is it?”

“No. It’s not,” Eren whispered and closed his eyes. “But at least you’re there to help me through it all. I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now without you. Probably on my way to getting married to Mikasa,” he said.

Levi snorted at the idea of them being happily married together. Eren would hate being stuck in a marriage with a woman he thought of as his sister. It said a lot about his relationship with his father that he would have gone through with this. He would’ve sacrificed his happiness just to please him.

“I’ll just have to stick around then, won’t I?” he said and saw Eren smile, eyes opening. “Looks like it.”

Levi couldn’t help himself and leaned over to kiss him. It was rare that they were all alone, with no risk of anyone seeing them. Levi knew that Eren was always nervous that they would be caught and right now they could relax and enjoy their time together. He smiled into the kiss, his heart swelling when he reminded himself that yes, he was kissing Eren and yes, Eren liked him. No one had ever made him feel like this before.

They remained that way for a long moment, simply kissing each other with their eyes closed. Eren’s hands found their way up from Levi’s back and to his hair and he gently ran his fingers through them. Levi pulled away to be able to look at him properly. Why did Eren like him? As he looked at him lying there, his chocolate brown hair spread out around his head like a halo that one thought ran through his mind. What was it about him that made Eren want to be with him? There were better people out there. People who didn’t have his issues, people who were younger. It didn’t make sense to him. But maybe it was stupid to question it. Levi should just enjoy this and be thankful that this was happening to him.

“Does it always feel like this?” Eren asked, looking up at him.

“What do you mean?” Levi replied and kissed him again.

“Does one’s heart always beat this hard when you kiss someone?” he mumbled against his lips, making Levi’s own heartbeat speed up. “Have you never kissed anyone before?”

“No,” Eren told him and locked their lips together. So Levi was really his first. This revelation shouldn’t mean anything, and yet he couldn’t help but be somehow relieved. He was relieved that no one else had got the pleasure of kissing those lips except for him. “So, is it normal?”

“It’s normal when you really like the person,” Levi said. “But it doesn’t always feel like that.” Eren’s cheeks were red as he looked up at him, his lips slightly parted and Levi kissed him again, moving so he was straddling him. Just as Eren had mentioned, his heart was pounding hard as they kissed and when he heard Eren softly moaning he only kissed him harder in response.

The truth was, Eren was also Levi’s first. He had been in relationships before, he had also had sex, but only with women. No man had ever caught his eye like Eren had. But this also meant that he was a bit out of his depth. With women he knew what to do, most of the time anyway. And theoretically it should be easier with men, because he was also one, but his lack of experience in that regard only made it harder. And there was also the issue of Eren never having done something like this before and still technically being in the closet.

“Is everything okay?” Eren asked as they both paused to breathe. “You suddenly tensed up. Am I...doing something wrong?”

“What? No, not at all,” Levi assured him. “Are you ready for this though?”

He honestly hadn’t expected Eren to roll his eyes. “Are you serious? Levi, I’ve been crushing on you for months now and yeah, I had to overcome some personal issues, but I’m here in my bed under you with a hard-on. I think I’m alright with this,” he told him and Levi laughed. He laughed at Eren’s bluntness and his own stupidity. Why was he worrying so much about this?

“Uh, are you alright? Why are you laughing?” Eren asked and Levi kissed him to shut him up. Yes, he was fine now.

As they were kissing Levi noticed that Eren was occasionally pushing his hips up and he felt his own jeans getting tighter in response. It had been a while since someone else had managed to make his skin feel hot with the smallest of gestures and words. He moved from Eren’s lips to his jaw, slowly kissing his way down to his collarbone. It was a shame he couldn’t mark his skin.

Under him Eren’s skin was flushed pink and Levi felt his hands finding their way down to his arse. He smirked and pulled away to look at him properly, enjoying the sight of his bright eyes staring up at him. “I think it’s time to have some fun,” he said and let one of his hands wander down to Eren’s crotch. Eren raised his hips and Levi watched his cheeks get even redder.

“Are you embarrassed?” he asked when he saw him bite his lip and Eren half-heartedly glared up at him. “Sh-shut up,” he grumbled and Levi chuckled. “You don’t have to be. It’s just me.”

He bent down to kiss him again, pulling his hand away and placing it next to Eren’s head. What Eren lacked in experience he made up for in enthusiasm. The kiss grew more heated and sloppier as time went on and Levi began to push his hips down against Eren’s, pleased by the sounds that came out of his boyfriend’s mouth in return. He felt his shirt being pulled up and helped him get it off, raising his eyebrows when Eren stared up at him. “What?”

“I’m so fucking lucky,” Eren breathed, pulling him down to connect their lips once again. It should be the other way around, Levi thought as he closed his eyes. He was the lucky one.

During their kiss he suddenly felt Eren stop and frowned. “Is something wrong?” he asked concerned and Eren groaned. “These stupid buttons,” he muttered and Levi realised what he was doing. He shook his head, pushing himself up so he was sitting on his lap. “Need my help?”

“...please,” he gave in and Levi assisted him in unbuttoning his shirt. “Next time wear something else,” he said. They finally undid all of them and Eren slipped out of his shirt, sighing in relief. “Finally.”

Levi had never seen him shirtless before and he was already dreading the moment when he put on a shirt again. “You’re gorgeous,” he told him before moving down a bit to kiss his collarbones and Eren’s breathing stuttered when he licked over one nipple.

“Fuck,” Eren groaned and his hips jerked upwards. He was biting down on his left hand to muffle his voice. Levi moved to the other nipple, his own jeans feeling even tighter when Eren moaned again. Deciding that he couldn’t hold back any longer he sat up and pulled his zipper down. “This is okay, right?” he asked Eren and saw him nod. Good. He moved off him to get rid of the rest of his clothes and saw that Eren was starting to do the same.

Levi decided right then and there that he was going to try to see Eren naked as often as possible. His mouth went dry and if his cock were able to get even harder it would. Eren laid back down onto his back and Levi resumed his position. “Do you like what you see?” he asked cockily and saw Eren’s Adam’s apple bob. “Yeah.”

“So, I’ve never done this before,” Levi admitted.

“Wait, what?” Eren asked, eyebrows shooting up. “I thought you had sex before.”

“I did, just never with men,” he told him and licked his palm. “It can’t be that difficult.”

“That actually makes me feel better. I was worried you’d be annoyed by my inexperience,” Eren said. Levi couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “You worry too much over stupid stuff. Why the fuck would I be annoyed? My first time was kind of a disaster.” He looked down at him. “Now, let’s see...”

Carefully he started stroking Eren’s cock, loving how he immediately reacted to it. Eren groaned and closed his eyes, his hips moving. “F-fuck.”

“Better than when you jerk off alone, isn’t it?” Levi commented and ran his finger over the tip. The noises Eren was making only turned him on more and he took both of their cocks in his hand, gently moving up and down. Fuck, that felt far too good. It had been too long since he had had sex with someone. This was a new experience for him and so far it was pretty damn good.

Eren pushed his hips upwards. “Can you...please go faster?” he asked him and Levi was thinking of teasing him a bit more, but decided against it. “Just because you asked so nicely,” he replied and stroked faster, moaning at the sensation. Knowing that this was Eren he was jerking off, knowing that he was also very much into it made the hot feeling in his gut grow.

Levi started pushing his cock into his own hand, drawing out another loud moan from Eren who was gazing up at him, already looking like a mess. Oh fuck. That image was not going to leave his mind for a while. As time went by his breaths came out in shorter intervals and he felt the familiar tightening sensation. “Eren, I- fuck. Are you close?” he panted. “Yeah. Fuck, Levi. I’m- so good,” Eren moaned and Levi stroked faster, longing to see him utterly wrecked.

It didn’t take much longer. After a few strokes Eren’s body tensed and he closed his eyes, head pressed firmly against the mattress. His mouth fell open in a silent cry as Levi felt his hand getting wet. This sight was what tipped him over the edge and he came, groaning in pleasure.

After Levi had somewhat recovered he bent down and kissed Eren softly. His heart was still pounding strongly in his chest and he felt Eren’s own heart beating. “Mh, that was...really great,” Eren murmured. “Like, really great.”

“It was pretty fucking amazing,” Levi agreed. “We’ll have to buy some lube for next time, then it’s even better,” he told him and when he shifted he felt the stickiness on his stomach. “Where’s the bathroom?”

Levi ended up taking a shower with Eren. He had been worried that after their first time having sex it would be awkward, but it wasn’t. Eren was talking to him like he always did. Once again he had been worried over nothing.

While Eren dried his hair with a towel Levi noticed a scar running across the back of his neck horizontally. “Where did you get that from?” he asked and Eren turned around confused. “What?”

“The scar on your neck,” he replied and Eren shrugged. “Got that when I was a kid. I don’t remember where from exactly,” he told him and touched it. “Do you think it’s ugly?”

“No,” Levi said, “it’s just a scar. Lots of people have one.”

Eren nodded and they both got dressed. “Do you have an umbrella?” he was asked as they walked downstairs. “Yes. You already want me gone?” he joked.

“No. I- you know. I’m just worried that my dad will come home sooner,” Eren said. Levi had nearly forgotten about him. “He told me he’d be home late, but I don’t exactly know when that is and-”

“Eren. It’s fine. I should get going anyway. Besides, I think we used our time wisely.” Making Eren blush would never get old.

“We did. We can...do that again,” he muttered and handed Levi his jacket. “I’ll text you during the convention. Be prepared for me whining about being surrounded by boring people,” he laughed.

“I’ll mentally prepare myself. I can’t promise you that I’ll put up with your whining, though.” Levi slipped into his jacket and began to put on his shoes, frowning when he saw a half dried footprint on the floor. Had he dragged dirt in? Normally he was so careful. “Sorry about that,” he told Eren. “But I’m afraid you’ll have to clean that yourself. I’m off.”

Eren rolled his eyes and opened the front door. “You’re a dick,” he said and Levi smirked. “I know. Take care, alright?” Thinking about him going to that convention made his stomach twist. It was illogical. Eren went there every year and it should be fine, but…

“I will. Don’t worry,” Eren smiled and kissed him quickly. “Have fun working while I’m gone.”

“Asshole,” Levi grumbled, causing Eren to laugh. “Bye, Levi.”

“Bye.” The door closed and Levi opened his green umbrella. It was time to go home.


	17. Take Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think that’s a nice name,” Armin said and Levi sighed. What a stupid ass name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter got far too long and I had to split it up. I'm sorry.

Armin lifted his head and stared up into the sky, eyes narrowed to keep the sunlight out of them. “You think so?”

Erwin nodded, pointing upwards. “That definitely looks like a cat. Can’t you see it? It even has whiskers,” he said and Armin’s lips stretched into a smile.

“I’ve always wanted a cat, but my grandpa doesn’t want one.”

Erwin looked down at him and put an arm around his waist. “Have you told him about us?” he asked, voice soft and Armin bit his lower lip. “No, not yet… I have no idea how he’ll react. He knows I like men, too, but I’m more worried about him freaking out about me dating someone like you.”

“Ah. The age gap?” he inquired and Armin nodded. “Yes. He knows that I can take care of myself. However, I think it’s everyone’s first reaction to be slightly worried that you’re taking advantage of me.”

Erwin laughed and smiled. “If anyone is taking advantage of someone it’s you.”

“True,” Armin replied, scooting closer to him. “Would you like to get a cat?”

“Me? I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it. Would you like me to get one?” he asked and Armin nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! Don’t you think they’re adorable? They’re tiny fluffy balls of murder.”

Erwin chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. “I wouldn’t have described them that way, but I guess you’re right. So, you want me to get a cat for you?”

“No, it would be your cat,” Armin said and Erwin raised an eyebrow. “Oh? I think you want me to get a cat so you can come over and play with it. Isn’t that your plan?”

With big eyes Armin looked at him. “Please?”

“You’re so manipulative,” Erwin told him and exhaled. “Fine. I’ll get you a cat. We can go to a pet store on Friday.”

“Yes!” Armin beamed at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I can’t wait! Thank you so much! I’ll take good care of it.”

“You’ll end up spending more time with the cat than with me,” Erwin pouted.

“Probably,” Armin teased him and nudged him. “But I’ll make it up to you.”

“Oh? What will you-”

“God, can you two talk about something else? By the way, I’m still very much living in our house. I think I get a say whether a cat will move in or not!” Levi snapped at them, looking up from his phone. “I’m the one who’s cleaning our house after all.” He glared at a passerby who was looking at them after his outburst. He was seriously regretting joining the couple’s walk to the park. But it had been one of the few occasions when all of them had time. Erwin had a day off, Levi had already finished his shift and Armin didn’t have any classes.

Erwin looked at him unimpressed. “I clean as well, but you’re never satisfied. That’s not my fault.”

“It is. And I say no to a cat,” Levi glared at them, ignoring Armin’s sad look. He wasn’t going to let himself be manipulated by him like Erwin.

“But they even clean themselves!” Armin argued, sitting up straighter. “They don’t need walks like a dog and they’re quiet.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “So? We don’t need a cat. You don’t even live in our house. I’m not getting a cat just so you can play with it.”

“I bet you’d get one for Eren...” Armin mumbled.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Levi asked and heard Erwin trying to stifle a laugh. “You’d better answer!”

Erwin looked at him and Levi saw the amusement he felt in his eyes. “He’s right. If Eren asked you’d get him one.”

“I would not!” Levi denied their accusation and looked pointedly at the ground, watching a bee collect pollen.

“Really? I think we both know if Eren batted his eyelashes you’d do anything for him,” Erwin chuckled and even Armin laughed. He didn’t like this at all. Ever since he had gotten together with Erwin he had grown more confident. Now they more often than not ganged up on him. No, he didn’t like this one bit.

However, Levi couldn’t deny the fact that he’d do a lot for Eren. He just wanted to make him happy. But would he get him a kitten? He imagined surprising Eren with one, watching his green eyes widen in happiness as he cuddled with it, thanking him over and over again. ...okay, maybe he would get him one.

“I hate you both,” Levi stated and looked at his phone again. Still nothing. “You can have your fucking cat. I don’t care. Just don’t expect me to feed it and collect its poop.”

“Thank you!” Armin said politely, but he sounded all too pleased with himself. Well played, Armin. Levi could see why Erwin liked him. They were very similar in some areas.

Erwin looked up at the sky again. “You’re not in the best of moods, Levi,” he remarked and Levi snorted. “You’ve got _amazing_ observational skills. I’m impressed,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. No shit, Sherlock. How was he supposed to be in a good mood? Eren had left six hours ago and still, no text, no phone call. Nothing.

“He’ll be okay,” Armin told him and Levi looked at him. “He’s been there every year.”

“And what do they do there?” Levi asked, not really expecting Armin to give him a satisfying answer. So far Hanji hadn’t gotten him to talk, although, she hadn’t been as sneaky about it as he would’ve liked. He could’ve told her straight up asking him would only end in failure.

Armin hummed in thought and glanced at the two of them. “When we were both younger he told me about it once,” he said, surprising both of them. “It was the first time he went there. As far as I know anyway. He had just switched schools.”

How old would they have been back then? Ten? It made Levi sick to his stomach that Eren had been stuck in that godawful school for eight years. Stuck there with no way to get out.

“Wait,” Levi said. “You talked to him while he was at school? I thought the students weren’t allowed to leave the school grounds.”

“That’s true,” Armin replied. “But, just because they aren’t allowed doesn’t mean no one leaves. If they don’t catch you...it’s fine.” That was true. Although-

“What happens if they catch you?” Erwin asked, his thoughts mirroring Levi’s.

Armin shrugged, his gaze dropping to the ground. “I don’t know. Eren never told me what happened.”

“So they caught him once?” Levi said and Armin exhaled harshly. “I-I wasn’t talking about that. I shouldn’t even talk about this stuff,” he told them. “Eren would be so mad if he found out.”

“Why?” Erwin frowned, his hand on Armin’s waist holding him tighter.

“Would you want someone talking about you behind your back?” he muttered. “Because I wouldn’t. Anyway, back then Eren told me that a lot of people met up and talked about things he didn’t understand. He said he was bored out of his mind,” he said, a small smile appearing on his face. “He always gets bored so easily… Apparently they were discussing how the school should be run or something like that. I’m sorry, I don’t remember that clearly,” Armin apologised.

“That’s fine. It was nine years ago after all,” Erwin said and Armin nodded. “Yeah. But one thing stuck out to me,” he continued. “Eren told me that his dad started arguing with a woman. They were having a pretty heated argument and she kept pointing at him, but he had no clue what was going on. After a while his dad said something and that was it. Eren said that he didn’t remember much about the convention after that point onwards.”

That wasn’t a lot of information. At least Armin had started talking, even if it was not much. It would help if he told them more, but if Eren had told him not to talk then he wouldn’t. Armin seemed to be a very loyal friend and that wasn’t a bad thing. Levi was glad that he was looking out for his friend.

“Why does his father take Eren with him to the convention?” Levi asked, not seeing the logic in that. “We know Grisha gives the school money, so him being there makes sense, but Eren? He was just a student. Did Mikasa ever go to the convention?”

Armin shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. I asked Eren about that once and he said that his father always insisted that he come with him. He didn’t know why.”

Of course he didn’t. Levi felt his phone vibrate and quickly looked at the message he had received.

**Eren: Is this Levi? Hello?**

Seeing the text message filled Levi with relief and his shoulders felt lighter already. He had been worried something had happened.

“Is that Eren?” Erwin asked and Levi started typing.

“Of course he texts Levi first...” Armin muttered.

**Levi: Who else would it be? Are you alright?**

“What kind of cat do you want?”

“I don’t care. I like all of them! I can’t wait to hold it and love it.”

“But promise me you’ll still pay attention to me...”

“Of course. Come on, Erwin, a cat couldn’t replace you.”

“Mh, that’s true.”

Levi tried to ignore their conversation and waited for Eren to reply. It was kind of irritating how long it took him to respond.

**Eren. Of course I’m fine. Just bored. Everyone here is older than I am. I think the youngest person here besides me is thirty. I’m surrounded by old people.**

He tried not to be offended by that.

**Levi: You do know I’m turning thirty this year, right?**

**Levi: What are you doing?**

“A black one? I like those a lot.”

“I didn’t know you liked cats!”

“If I hated cats I wouldn’t be getting you one. Now, do you have any name ideas?”

“Hm. Not really, no. I never thought I’d get a cat.”

“I thought this has been your plan all along. Let’s see. How about...Mike?”

“Mike? Seriously? That’s not a cat name!”

“Sorry, sorry… One of my colleagues’ name is Mike.”

“You wanted to name the cat after your colleague? That’s weird...”

“It was the first name that popped into my head.”

**Eren: I’m in our room. My dad said we’d go out for dinner. I’m starving.**

Levi rolled his eyes at that. Eren was always starving, so that was no surprise. So far everything seemed normal and Eren would tell him if something was wrong, wouldn’t he? He hoped so.

**Levi: Tell me if you have a bad feeling about anything, okay?**

Immediately after sending the text he regretted it. He knew Eren was often annoyed by his constant suspicion against his father. But he couldn’t help it. He needed to make sure Eren was alright.

“You’re awful at picking names.”

“I know. It’s your cat, you should pick a name. Let’s see if you’re any better!”

“Hm. I’m not going to name it after a person I know. That’d be kind of weird.”

“...”

“Something cute, because cats are cute. How about...”

**Eren: You’re such a worry wart! I’ll be fine. You’re starting to sound like Mikasa with your constant worrying.**

**Levi: I do not sound like her!**

Now that was something he wanted to avoid at all cost. The last thing he needed was for Eren to think he was like her.

**Levi: So you’ll tell me?**

The reply didn’t take too long this time.

**Eren: Yeah I’ll tell you. I’ll stop texting now. My father could be back any minute.**

**Eren: Don’t miss me too much!**

Levi cracked a smile at that. Maybe Eren would be fine after all.

**Levi: Take care.**

He put his phone into his pocket and turned his attention towards the couple beside him again.

“That’s the name you came up with?” Erwin asked, both eyebrows raised and Armin nodded. “I think it’s great! It fits every cat.”

“Well, I can’t argue with that… It’s your cat anyway. You can name it what you want,” he said. When he saw that Levi was no longer texting he looked at him. “Is Eren alright?”

“Yes. He’ll get some dinner soon,” Levi replied and saw Armin frown.

“He didn’t text me…” he grumbled. “I’m his best friend!”

Erwin chuckled. “I’m sure Eren just wanted to make sure Levi didn’t spend the entire time worrying about him.”

Levi stood up and stretched his back. “I’m going home now. It’s getting cold. Are you two going to stay here?”

They shared a look before also getting up from the bench. “No. We’re going, too.”

Together they started walking home and Levi knew Armin would be spending the night at their house. “Can you not fuck tonight? I’ve got an early shift tomorrow.”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Armin’s face turning red. “W-what?”

“Fine. We won’t,” Erwin said. “Are the walls that thin?”

“Yes.” Far too fucking thin. It had been months and Levi still hadn’t fully recovered from hearing them during foreplay. ...and he was nowhere near close to recovering from seeing them in action.

“What did you name the cat?” he asked, not really interested but he didn’t know what else to talk about. He needed to distract himself from thinking about...that.

“Mr. Whiskers. I think that’s a nice name,” Armin said and Levi sighed. What a stupid ass name.

“Sounds good,” he muttered, stuffing his hands into his pockets. He was already regretting agreeing to this stupid cat thing.

 

* * *

 

Nothing.

It had been a whole day since Eren had sent him a message. And yes, it was stupid to constantly worry about him. Eren went to that dumb convention every year so why should it be different this time? But Levi still couldn’t get rid of that ill feeling residing in his stomach.

“You need to think about something else,” Erwin had said after catching him aggressively cleaning the kitchen. “He’ll be fine. Eren can take care of himself.”

But could he? Levi had also caught Armin checking his phone quite often and being disappointed by the lack of texts. Was Erwin also worried but he tried to not let it show? This whole situation was causing him more stress then a full shift with Hanji.

And speaking of Hanji. Ever since she was aware of their relationship she wouldn’t leave Levi alone. This led to him dreading a shift with her even more so than in the past. Sure, she was his friend - which was very weird and unusual now that he thought about it – but even a patient man like him had his limits. And maybe shouting at your boss wasn’t the best thing to do. However, he couldn’t stand her constant questioning. What happened between Eren and him was their business, not hers.

But when she noticed his gloomy mood that day she was surprisingly calm and quiet. Hanji knew that Eren was out of town and was well aware of Levi’s worrying nature when it came to Eren. Levi was thankful that she didn’t scold him when he checked his phone a lot during their shift. And when he was getting close to losing his patience with a customer she took over for him, letting him breathe. It was nice, Levi decided, having people who understood him, or at least part of him. People who didn’t turn their backs on him when they got to know him better.

It was just after six pm, after Levi had got home and finished eating dinner when his phone vibrated. With more urgency than necessary he grabbed his phone, unlocking it and reading the message.

**Eren: Sorry for not texting! I was busy.**

**Eren: Hope you’re not mad.**

Why would he be mad? The only emotion he felt right now was relief. Overwhelmingly so. Maybe Eren was right and he truly worried too much about him.

**Levi: I’m not.**

**Eren: Good. Today was exhausting. I can’t wait till I’m home again.**

Saturday had never seemed so far away before.

**Levi: We’re getting a cat.**

**Levi: For Armin.**

He walked over to the sink and started doing the dishes, cursing Erwin for always making him do this. If there was one thing he couldn’t stand it was wet food. It was simply gross. While he got rid of the stains on the plates he thought about that damn cat Armin wanted. He should’ve said no. Now there were going to be cat hairs everywhere and he was going to be the one who would have to get rid of them.

His phone notified him that he had a new message and he dried his hands off before grabbing it.

**Eren: Who is this we? A cat?**

**Levi: Erwin and I of course. I was blackmailed into it.**

There was no way he was going to tell him he just agreed to it. Then Eren would think he’d get him a pet too. No, this was a one time thing. The next text took a while to come in and Levi rolled his eyes. Eren was such a slow texter.

**Eren: And where is the cat going to stay? At Armin’s place?**

**Levi: No, at our house. Yes, I know. It’s weird. It’s Erwin’s fault. Bastard can’t say no to Armin’s puppy eyes.**

**Eren: You can’t blame him. It’s hard to say no to them.**

**Eren: I have to go now. We’re going out for dinner again. I’ll talk to you tomorrow!**

Levi was a bit disappointed that they couldn’t talk for a longer amount of time, but he knew that it was risky for Eren to even have his phone with him.

**Levi: Alright. Take care.**

After putting his phone down on the table he continued cleaning the cutlery. He had honestly expected more of a reaction from Eren. Did he not like cats? Now that he thought about it, he did look like more of a dog person. Or maybe he was a bit pissed that Armin was getting a cat and it was going to be at their house. That was probably it. He could be jealous. Tough luck. Levi was not going to get him a pet.

Half an hour later he was sitting on the couch, mindlessly flicking through the TV channels. Erwin and Armin were at the pet store buying stuff for the promised cat. Hopefully they wouldn’t go overboard. The chances of that actually happening were pretty slim, though. Levi looked at the time, wondering how much longer it was going to take them. He didn’t know why they had decided to already go shopping anyway. They would be getting the damn thing on Friday.

He spent the rest of his evening watching some dumb soap opera whose name he didn’t even know. The only reason he was watching it in the first place was that he didn’t have to pay too much attention to it to know what was going on and yeah, the bad acting was kind of hilarious. He had always been a fan of films so bad that they were good again. However, Levi found himself distracted by the absence of Erwin and Armin. Two more hours had passed and they still hadn’t shown up. By now the store must be closed. Had they decided to go to a restaurant?

When his phone rang and he saw that it was Erwin calling him Levi sighed and picked up. “Where the fuck are you two? I thou-”

“Levi, we had a car accident,” Erwin told him, voice raised and Levi sat up straighter. “What?”

“Someone crashed into us and- Armin, he’s- he’s in surgery. The car crashed into the right side of ours and-” his voice broke and a cold shiver ran down Levi’s spine. He stood up and quickly put on his coat. “Which hospital are you in?”

“Stohess. Levi, I-”

“Are you okay?” he asked. It would take too long to get there by bus. He didn’t have a car. But Hanji had one.

He heard Erwin take a deep breath. “I’m fine. I’ve got a light concussion, but I’m okay.”

“Good. I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Levi assured him. “Erwin. Armin will be fine. I know he will be.” It was a lie. He had no goddamn idea if he would be fine, but he wouldn’t let Erwin beat himself up over this.

There was a short silence before Erwin spoke again. “Okay.”

“I have to hang up now. I’ll get Hanji to drive me to the hospital.”

“Okay.”

He had never heard Erwin sound so...drained. “I’ll be there soon. He’ll be fine.” He had to be fine.

Erwin hung up and Levi called Hanji, quickly explaining what had happened. After getting her to calm down she told him she’d be at his house in three minutes. Levi put on his shoes and walked out of the house, hoping she'd get here quickly. While he waited he looked up at the dark sky. Right now Erwin was surely freaking out, asking the doctors every two minutes if Armin was alright. Levi didn't want to imagine what would happen if he wasn't. Fuck. This whole situation was surreal. You constantly heard about people getting into car accidents, but Levi would've never thought that someone he knew would be involved in one.

Hanji pulled up into the driveway and he quickly got in. She didn't say anything to him as they got on their way. He was thankful for that. His mind was a mess right now. During the ride he stared out of the window, wondering if he should pray, something he hadn't done in years.

_Please Armin, please be alright._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a bit late for that, but I'm sorry if my English is sometimes bad. It's not my first language. Also, while I'm updating this fic I'm sick, so that sucks. But I hope this chapter doesn't.


	18. Fractured

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What should I even write? Hey Eren, Armin had an awful car accident and he’s in surgery. And I know this is terrible but try not to worry too much, okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally thought I could cover the entire convention thing in one chapter. Oh boy was I wrong. I'm also always worried that the story is progressing too slowly? But I have no idea how I could make it quicker without it feeling awkward. I don't know. Thanks again for all the comments! I really love reading them :D

Levi hated hospitals.

It wasn’t that he was afraid of doctors or needles. In fact, he admired people who willingly took care of others, who had to shoulder the responsibility of either saving a life or letting it die. But that was before he had been taken to a hospital. That was before he woke up with Erwin sitting next to his bed, eyes red from a lack of sleep and fingers clutching the blanket.

The sight that greeted Levi when he entered the room Erwin was placed in was far too similar for his liking. His friend was sitting on the bed, staring down at his hands, oblivious that Levi had arrived. His head was bandaged and Levi could see some bruises on his arm.

It was tough, finding the right words to start a conversation like this one. How could he ever hope to find the words to make him feel better? They both knew that there was the possibility that Armin wouldn’t be alright.

Levi decided to not bother making him feel better. It would be useless anyway and Erwin always knew when he was lying. “You look like shit,” he said and walked over to the chair next to his bed.

“I feel like it, too,” Erwin muttered, lifting his head to look at him and Levi swallowed thickly. It was the same look he had had when Levi had woken up for the first time in the hospital bed. He would never forget the crack in Erwin’s voice when he had apologised to him.

Levi took a seat and once again found himself struggling with what to say. There were a lot of questions on his mind, but he had no idea if Erwin would feel up to answering them right now. “Hanji’s in the waiting room and talking to Armin’s grandfather. She drove me,” he told him and watched Erwin let out a pained sigh.

“I don’t know if I can face him,” he muttered, his index finger tracing his knuckles. “It’s my fault his grandson is-”

“Don’t even start with that bullshit,” Levi interrupted him. “Some asshole crashed into your car. It’s not your fault and you know it.” There was no way he was going to let him take the blame. Erwin had an unhealthy tendency to take responsibility for everything and Levi knew that one day it was going to be too much for him.

Thankfully he didn’t disagree with him. “Whoever crashed into us was able to drive away afterwards. The police say they haven’t caught them yet,” he explained and Levi crossed his legs. “What a fucker. I hope they catch that bastard soon.”

Erwin slowly nodded. “I hope so too. Armin was- we were driving home after buying stuff from the pet store. He was so excited about getting a cat and he had already thought about when he’d come visit. And then at the intersection...it happened so fast,” he looked down at his hands again. “It was green. I know it was. Another car was in front of us when it happened. I think I blacked out and when I regained consciousness they were getting Armin out of the car. Levi, he was- there was blood and he- Fuck.”

There was nothing he could do. Levi knew this, but he still felt the need to somehow comfort Erwin. Seeing him like this made him want to kill the bastard who had caused the accident. He wanted to do something, he needed to say something, but he didn’t know what. Levi couldn’t fix this situation, only the surgeons could.

“Do you remember when I woke up in the hospital back in Trost?” Levi asked.

“How could I ever forget that?” Erwin said quietly. “I had never been so worried about you before.”

“I looked like shit, didn’t I? The doctors told you that my head trauma was so severe that I was likely to have some brain damage.”

Erwin exhaled and looked at him. “That scared the shit out of me.”

“And then I woke up and I was fine. Of course I had the worst headache imaginable, but I was alright. No brain damage, even thought they were all sure I would have some,” Levi said and leaned forward. “I don’t know why Armin’s in surgery. I don’t know what is wrong with him, but I know that there’s a chance he’ll be fine, just like I was. So don’t think about the worst case scenario. Let the surgeons do their job and for now get some rest. Don’t blame yourself, Erwin. It was a shitty accident.”

Levi would be more forgiving if the driver had stayed, if they had made sure Erwin and Armin were fine. It surprised him that they had even been able to escape. He fucking hated hit and run drivers. How much of an asshole did you have to be to just leave injured people behind? However, they were in Shiganshina, a small ass place, so there was no way they wouldn’t be caught soon. And then they would pay.

A knock on the door made him look towards it and Armin’s grandfather entered the room with Hanji walking behind him. She pointed at Levi and then at the door and he nodded. It was better if he left them to talk in privacy. Levi glanced at Erwin who looked like he wanted to disappear into thin air and stood up, walking with Hanji out of the room.

“Do you need to talk?” she asked once the door shut behind them.

“Why would I need to talk? I’m not the one whose boyfriend is in surgery,” he answered, slightly irritated by her question.

They walked down the hallway to the waiting room. “You look like you’re not doing so well.”

“Yeah, because you look just great.”

Hanji took off her glasses and cleaned them with her shirt. “Do you think he’s going to be alright? Armin’s grandpa kept asking me and I didn’t know what to say.”

“I have no idea,” Levi admitted and they sat down. Few people were there. A couple who looked rather anxious, a woman who appeared to be reading a magazine but her eyes weren’t moving and an elderly couple. “Erwin said the car crashed into Armin’s side, so that’s less than ideal. Apparently there was some blood and- Hanji?” He saw her lip wobbling and knew that she was going to start crying. Shit.

“I’m just so worried,” she said and sniffled. Levi watched as a tear ran down her cheek. This wasn’t good. If there was one thing he didn’t know how to react to it was someone crying. “You know Armin. He’s a stubborn kid. He’ll be fine,” he told her, trying to figure out how he could make her stop weeping.

Hanji was looking at the ground, her hair preventing Levi from looking at her face, but he saw teardrops occasionally hitting the floor. She was thankfully crying silently. And because Levi didn’t know how to comfort her he decided not to say anything. He couldn’t make this situation any better nor could he make himself pretend to do just that. It was good to get some stuff out of one’s system anyway.

Levi stared at the clock, watching the hour hand land on the twelve. Was this how Erwin had felt? Helpless because all he had been able to do was wait? Levi wondered what he and Armin’s grandfather were talking about. Hopefully he wouldn’t put the blame on Erwin.

“Are you going to tell him?” Hanji asked and Levi looked at her, seeing her wiping tears from her cheeks with her sleeve. Her eyes were red and puffy, devoid of the usual light they held.

“Tell whom what?” he replied confused.

“Eren. Are you going to tell him about Armin?” she explained and Levi sighed. He hadn’t even thought of that. For a while he had completely forgotten about him. “I don’t know.” It would only make him worry and cause him even more stress. However, Armin was Eren’s best friend since childhood. If Levi were in his position he would want to know.

Hanji took a tissue out of her pocket and blew her nose. “Are you worried he’ll freak out?”

“He’ll definitely do that,” Levi said and winced when she stuffed the used tissue back into her pocket. Gross. “What should I even write? Hey Eren, Armin had an awful car accident and he’s in surgery. And I know this is terrible but try not to worry too much, okay?” He snorted and let his head fall back against the wall. “He’s stuck at the convention till Saturday.”

“But maybe they can leave,” Hanji said. “Do you really think Eren will want to stay when he knows Armin is in hospital? And his father also knows Armin. I’m sure they’d leave.”

“You think so?” Levi hadn’t thought about that possibility. Of course Eren would want to be there for his friend, but would his father actually let him leave? But then again, he was a doctor. And he knew that Armin meant a lot to his son.

“I do. But no matter what will happen, I think you should tell him. He deserves to know.”

She was right. If Levi didn’t tell him Eren wouldn’t forgive him. “Alright.” He took out his phone, debating with himself how he should tell him. He didn’t want to sound too harsh or too unemotional. It was always tough figuring out how he should express himself. He wasn’t very eloquent and most of the time whatever he said was taken the wrong way.

**Levi: Erwin and Armin had a car accident. Armin is in surgery right now, I’ll keep you updated on how he’s doi-**

Levi shook his head and deleted the message. No. That sounded way too cold.

**Levi: Hey Eren. I’m at the hospital right now. Erwin and Armin had a car accident and Armin is in surgery. So far I don’t know what’s wrong with him. There’s a chance he-**

No no no. That made it sound like Armin was going to die and he wasn’t.

“What’s taking you so long?” Hanji asked, leaning towards him so she could read his screen.

“I don’t know what to say. Or, how to say it,” Levi grumbled.

“Just write whatever comes to mind.”

Yeah, right. Because that was good advice. Well, there was no way to make this situation sound good anyway.

**Levi: Eren. Armin had a car accident and is in surgery right now. Whoever caused the accident decided to fuck off, so they’re looking for them. Erwin is okay, just concussed and bruised. Hanji and I are waiting for the surgery to be over. Armin’s grandfather is also here. Don’t freak out. Armin is a stubborn bastard, so he’ll be fine. I just thought you should know.**

He sent the message this time. There was no way Eren was not going to freak out, but Levi couldn’t prevent that from happening. He briefly wondered when he was going to see this message. So far he had texted him in the evening.

“They’ve been talking for a while,” Hanji commented while looking in the direction of Erwin’s room.

“This is the worst possible way to find out your grandson is in a relationship with a thirty year old man,” Levi said. “There must be a lot on Armin’s granddad’s mind. Fuck, if I were in his shoes I’d probably get a heart attack.”

Hanji was silent after that and Levi continued staring at the clock and occasionally at his phone. He knew Eren wouldn’t text back at this time, but he couldn’t stop himself from checking anyway. Occasionally he glanced at Hanji. It was very unusual for her to be this quiet. However, she had known Armin for about three years and as far as he knew they got along quite well. And Levi hadn’t even known him for a full year and was worried, more than he wanted to admit to himself.

It was odd how quickly he had managed to make friends here in Shiganshina. These people here had no idea what had happened back in Trost, where all his friends had turned on him, where she had ruined his life. Levi reached up to his head, touching the scar at the back of his head that was still there and always would be. But here no one thought he was a criminal, someone who didn’t deserve to be treated respectfully. All these people here had made him feel welcome, something he wasn’t used to in the slightest. And because of that he didn’t want bad things to happen to them. Sure, he was rude to them, insulted them and maybe wasn’t always as nice as he could be, but he cared about them.

He had asked Erwin if he regretted moving to Shiganshina with him once, if he missed his friends and Erwin had said that they were no longer his friends. He had told him that he couldn’t stand them now after they had shown their true colours. And he had smiled at Levi and said that he didn’t regret a thing. He was happy here in this small town, far away from the life he had used to lead. Levi didn’t deserve him, he didn’t deserve a friend like that, but he was glad that he had him.

“Is Armin okay?!”

That voice. Levi’s eyebrows shot up when he saw Jean and Marco walking into the waiting room. And he almost did a double take when Annie quietly followed them. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“What we’re doing here? We’re worried about Armin of course!” Jean replied. “Is he still in surgery?”

“Yes, but-”

“I told them about it,” Hanji interjected and Levi sighed. Of course. This was just what he needed.

Jean and Marco sat down on the chairs next to Hanji and Annie took a seat on the opposite side of the room. “So you all decided that you needed to come here?” Levi asked.

“I wasn’t going to just stay at our dorm,” Jean said and crossed his arms. “And I should be asking what you’re doing here.”

“Jean...” Marco muttered and Levi glared at them. “Armin was with Erwin when the accident happened. They were out shopping.”

“Erwin? Who’s Erwin?” Jean asked and it was Annie who answered, “he’s Armin’s boyfriend.”

The stunned silence from Jean would have been more hilarious if they weren’t in hospital waiting for news on Armin’s condition, but Levi couldn’t prevent the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. He had completely forgotten that not everyone knew about their relationship. However, how the hell did Annie know about it?

“His what?” Jean gaped and he turned to Marco. “Did you know that Armin’s in a relationship?”

“Uhm…yes?” he replied, sounding a bit unsure though. “He told me about it a few months ago...”

“Same here,” Annie added, only adding fuel to the fire.

Levi watched Jean’s face turn red and saw that Hanji was trying not to laugh. “Sounds like Jean is the only one here who’s out of the loop,” she chuckled.

“Why didn’t he tell me?” Jean grumbled, clearly offended by his lack of knowledge.

“Because he was smart enough not to. You’re the last person I’d tell. You can’t keep your mouth shut,” Annie said and Levi smirked when Jean made a startled noise.

“That’s not true! Who is this Erwin anyway?” he asked.

“He’s Levi’s friend,” Hanji told him. “I’m sure you’ve met him. He’s tall, blond, blue eyes-”

“Hm, I don’t know,” Jean muttered.

Hanji continued describing his appearance. “-short hair, clean shaven, his eyebrows are huge-”

“Wait… I think I really have met him,” he said thoughtfully. “He was that weird dude that showed up once when we had a shift together,” he nodded and looked at Marco. “And he was asking if Armin was here and I was really confused by that. And when I asked you what that was about you just laughed… Oh my god, that was totally his boyfriend!”

Marco laughed and nodded. “Yeah. I wasn’t allowed to tell you, which was pretty hard. And when Mr. Smith walked in I thought it was over. Fortunately you...are sometimes pretty thick.”

“Hey!”

Maybe them being here wasn’t that bad after all. Listening to them talk and bicker took Levi’s mind off Armin’s unknown state. They were also genuinely concerned about their friend, shown by their willingness to come to the hospital at this hour.

“Is Mr. Smith alright?” Marco asked him and Levi nodded. “He’s okay. He’s got a concussion and some bruises, but otherwise he’s fine.”

“That’s good. Hm." He paused and looked around. "Is Eren in the bathroom or is he not here?" he said quietly.

Jean frowned. “I knew something was odd. Where is Mr. Nice Guy? Too busy to check up on his best friend?”

Levi felt anger well up inside of him and was ready to give him a piece of his mind, but Hanji beat him to it. “He’s not in town. We texted him that Armin is in surgery,” she said, glowering at him. “And you know that he’d be the first person to show up here.”

“Why text him and not call?” Annie asked, looking at them curiously and Levi looked at his phone again. Nothing.

“We can’t,” Hanji simply said, her tone suggesting that she’d better not ask again. But this only led to all of them being intrigued by her words.

It was fortunate that at this moment Armin’s grandfather entered the waiting room. His eyes were red and Levi felt his stomach drop. The doctors must’ve talked to him. He looked at Hanji and she also appeared to be ready for the worst of messages.

“How is he?” she asked hesitantly.

Armin’s grandpa took a seat next to Marco and looked at them all. “He’s alright.”

The atmosphere in the room instantly changed as they all sighed in relief and relaxed. Levi hadn’t even noticed how tense he had been until Armin’s relative had spoken and taken his worries away.

“Why was he in surgery?” Marco asked.

“His right leg was severely fractured,” he said. “His ribs were also fractured and his lung collapsed, but they told me he’s alright. He’s going to be okay.” Levi saw tears well up in his eyes again and Marco gave him a handkerchief which he gladly took.

The knowledge that Armin was alright made it easier to breathe and Levi took his phone out to text Eren.

**Levi: Armin is okay. Looks like he’ll need to stay in hospital for a while, but he’s fine.**

He looked at Hanji and saw that she was also crying again, but this time out of relief. Marco was busy giving Armin’s grandfather more tissues, Jean was staring up at the ceiling with a small smile on his face and Annie was not looking as emotionally constipated as she usually did.

“I suppose we can’t go see him,” Annie said and Armin’s grandfather shook his head. “They said I can go see him tomorrow.”

Levi looked at the clock again and debated with himself whether he should stay or not. They’d probably try to throw him out, because he wasn’t a family member and Erwin was fine. They convinced Armin’s grandpa to not stay here and get some rest at home, a task that was more difficult than Levi had anticipated it to be.

Hanji drove him and Levi home and when his body made contact with his bed he instantly fell asleep, the events of the day catching up with him and letting him fall into a restful sleep, something which was rarer than it should be.

The message that greeted him when he checked his phone the next day made the coffee in his mouth taste bitterer than it ever had before. He set his mug down and stared at the screen, reading the same words over and over again, thinking to himself that this must be some kind of mistake.

**Eren: I’m so relieved! I was really worried for a moment there!**

Something was wrong, very much so. All the alarm bells were ringing in Levi’s head, telling him that these words were not from Eren. They couldn’t be. Armin was his best friend. He had expected Eren to freak out, ask him a thousand questions, tell him that he’d try to leave the convention early. This was not how he should react. And this meant that someone else was texting him. Someone had Eren’s phone.

With his heart pounding rapidly in his chest Levi scrolled up. The question was whether they had just now taken his phone or if it hadn’t been Eren who had been texting him at all. He read their messages, the sick feeling in his gut getting worse. Eren had started texting him by asking if this was him. Levi had assumed it was because he had never texted anyone before and was new to all this, but maybe there was more to it. Because Levi hadn’t written his own name down when he had entered his contact information. He had saved himself under ‘Short, Pale and Intimidating’ as Eren had once lovingly called him. However, it could’ve also just been Eren worrying he was not using his phone correctly. That possibility was more likely, because he had mentioned Mikasa. No, Levi was pretty sure that he had been texting Eren.

Then they had talked about the cat. Levi worried his bottom lip while he read over the messages. Eren hadn’t sounded as enthusiastic or excited as he thought he would’ve been. He had also not known that Levi had been talking about Erwin, something Levi had thought had been pretty obvious. These messages could very well be from someone else, but from whom? The only person that came to mind was Eren’s father. But that meant that the first messages could’ve also been from him. He knew who Mikasa was.

However, the biggest problem he now faced was how he was going to respond. Levi had no idea what was happening to Eren. If he called whoever was messaging him out he could potentially endanger him. But if he reacted like Eren’s text wasn’t weird in any way they could also get suspicious. What was he supposed to do? If he fucked this up Eren could very well pay the price.

Levi laid his phone down on the table and put his face in his hands. He hadn’t been overreacting after all. Eren was in trouble. Had his father just taken his phone away? But why would he pretend to be him then? He could’ve just texted Levi that he should stay away from his son. Just thinking about this was enough to make him sick to his stomach.

After a few minutes spent thinking about what he should do he stood up, the now cold coffee forgotten. Before he responded he needed to calm down and think this through. He needed to tell someone about this. He needed advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really missed writing Jean.


	19. Messages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin: Answer me! Who is this?
> 
> Eren: I’m sorry.

“He’s not awake yet.”

Levi acknowledged his statement with a nod and sat down on the chair next to Erwin’s bed. He looked far better today, as expected. His face was no longer pale and the bags under his eyes were less pronounced. “He can sleep for another week for all I care. At least he hasn’t kicked the bucket.”

Erwin cracked a smile at that and Levi couldn’t help but feel satisfied. Yeah, Erwin would be alright.

“Why are you here? Don’t you have work today?” He sat up in his bed, his eyebrows drawn together. “Is something up?”

“Hanji decided to give me the day off. Said something about me only driving her customers away right now,” Levi replied and took his phone out of his pocket. Quickly, he opened his recent chat with Eren and threw the phone onto Erwin’s lap. “Read it.”

Erwin looked even more confused now, but grabbed the phone. “What should I-”

“Starting with yesterday.”

Levi patiently waited for Erwin to finish reading. Just thinking about those texts made his stomach twist and his chest feel too tight. He had no idea what was happening to Eren right now. Was he still at the convention? Was his father ‘training’ him again? Levi had asked Eren about that once, but had received no real answer. Like always.

“That’s not...”

“I know.”

Erwin sat up straighter than before, opened his mouth and closed it a couple of times as if he was unsure what to say. “Do you think that someone else has been texting you all along?”

“Could be,” Levi muttered, looking at his phone in his friend’s hand. “He’s fucked, isn’t he? I should’ve told him taking the phone with him was a stupid idea. But I didn’t. I was too fucking happy that he’d text me while he was away.”

This could’ve been prevented. If only he had said something. They had both known bringing the phone along was risky. And they both had been too stupid to really think about what could happen. Or what would happen.

“So you think his father found his phone?” Erwin asked. “I got the impression that Eren was good at keeping secrets.”

“He is. I still don’t know anything about him, at least that’s what if feels like,” Levi said, then paused. “Wait. Are you suggesting that he didn’t find his phone?”

“No. I’m suggesting that the phone wasn’t what started this.”

Levi frowned, not getting what he was talking about. His dad had his phone. He must’ve found it or had Eren give it to him. So what-

“What if his father knew from the start that Eren...hm, how should I say this...has gone against his wishes?” Erwin added.

“You think he was going to do something regardless of Eren having a phone.”

“Yes.”

No, why would he? “He doesn’t know Eren and I are dating. As far as he knows we haven’t even met each other again after he was...you know.”

Erwin threw his phone back at him and Levi caught it with ease. “Then why did he text you? He knew who you were, even with that ridiculous contact name.”

Levi scrolled back up, reading the first message again. It was true. If that had really been Eren’s dad he would’ve had to know exactly who he was texting. It sounded like he had still been unsure, but maybe that was just so he could play it off that he had gotten the wrong number if it hadn’t been Levi.

“So he knew that we were dating. I don’t get it. Why would he know? Eren and I never did any things couples did in public. We never even went out for dinner. How the fuck would he know that...”

Oh. Oh no. There was only one instance where his dad could’ve figured it out. When he had been at their house. But Grisha had been away. Eren had been worried he’d come home sooner, but that was just because Eren never stopped worrying about such things. And Grisha hadn’t come home. When they had been in the kitchen he hadn’t heard the door opening or any footsteps. And wouldn’t his dad have announced his presence anyway?

“What are you thinking about?” Erwin asked and Levi scoffed. “No, it’s impossible that he knows. Even when I was at Eren’s house, there’s no way he saw us. He wasn’t there. I mean, I would’ve heard him for sure. And Eren is always on edge. One of us would’ve noticed.”

“But we know that he knows. Otherwise he wouldn’t have texted these things,” was Erwin’s reply and dammit, Levi knew he was right, but how did he find out? Back at the house when he left he hadn’t seen any keys or other shoes. Was there something he had missed?

And then it hit him. The footprint. The _wet_ footprint. When Eren and he had entered the house it hadn’t been raining. Only afterwards it had started. Fuck. His dad must’ve come home sooner. But still, there had only been one footprint. He hadn’t actually entered the house fully. So how could he have known Levi was there? Sure, he had left his shoes and jacket there, but they could’ve been from someone else.

“Ah shit,” Levi groaned and tipped his head back, suddenly remembering what Eren and he must’ve been doing at the moment. Fuck, Grisha must’ve heard. They hadn’t exactly tried to keep quiet. And Grisha knew his voice.

“What?”

“I just realised that he really did know we are together. He heard us fucking.”

Erwin closed his eyes and sighed audibly. “Well, that surely gave it away.”

“Shut up. Anyway, you read the message. What should I write? I can’t just write that I know that I’m not talking to Eren,” Levi said. “What am I supposed to do? And even if I pretend it’s Eren and keep this whole thing up, I need to know what’s going on!”

“What do you think happened to Eren?”

Erwin’s question made that horrible train of thought reappear. Thinking about this only stressed him out even more. Levi had no idea what was going on. He suspected Grisha of abusing his son, but he had never seen Eren bruised. Of course he remembered Eren begging Erwin not to take him home, but call him crazy, he didn’t think that he had been scared of being beaten. No, Levi didn’t think that Grisha physically harmed his son.

“I don’t know,” Levi finally answered. “Maybe his dad just took his phone away and that was it. He could be completely fine.”

“Do you think that’s true?” Erwin asked and Levi exhaled harshly.

“No. I don’t think his dad would go through the trouble of pretending to be him in that case. He’d just straight up tell me to stay the fuck away. Honestly, the thing I most want to do right now is go to the convention and get Eren the hell out of there.”

“Do you know where the convention is taking place?”

“No.”

Levi didn’t like the way Erwin rolled his eyes. “What?”

“You didn’t ask him?” Erwin inquired, his tone accusatory.

“Have you tried talking to Eren about his private life? It’s not as easy as you think it is!” Levi snapped. He wasn’t going to let Erwin make him feel bad about this.

“I thought he’d at least tell you in case something happened. And something did happen.”

If Eren talked about his problems than they wouldn’t even be in this situation. But nothing was easy when it came to him. That guy just loved trouble.

“Well,” Erwin said to cut the silence, “Armin should know. But alas, he’s still out of it.”

Talk about bad luck. “Hey, did his phone survive the crash?”

“Hm? I...think so. Why?” he asked sternly. “What’s going through your mind?”

Levi stood up and pocketed his phone again. “I just want to know if he texted Eren. He must have, right?”

“If he did, he didn’t tell me about it,” Erwin replied and moved to get out of his bed.

“No no, you’ll stay here,” he told him. “I’ll go to his room alone. You’re still supposed to be in bed.”

“And since when do you care about rules?” Hm, he had him there. “Besides, Armin’s phone is locked. I know the code.”

Levi raised an eyebrow as he watched him stand up. “Do you regularly look through his phone?”

“What? No, he told me. He said he wanted me to trust him,” Erwin frowned.

“You two are like the textbook definition of a trusting relationship. Almost makes me want to gag.”

“Jealous?”

“You wish.”

Well, maybe he was a bit, but he wasn’t going to tell him that. Erwin’s ego was big enough already.

They left the room, slowly and carefully making their way towards Armin’s. Technically they weren’t allowed to go in there yet, but this was a bit of an emergency and Levi was sure if Armin were awake he wouldn’t mind. And even if he did mind, right now Levi didn’t really care. All he wanted was to find out what he had been talking about with Eren. Or fake Eren. His dad? There was also the possibility that it wasn’t Grisha, but that would be pretty weird in Levi’s opinion.

And maybe today wasn’t his most unlucky day, because they reached Armin’s room without encountering any nurses or doctors. When they opened the door and walked inside Levi heard Erwin behind him inhale sharply.

Seeing Armin lying on the hospital bed, pale, head and torso covered in bandages wasn’t a sight Levi had ever wanted to see. He would honestly be surprised if Armin woke up today. He didn’t look well at all.

“Let’s just...do this quickly,” Erwin muttered and Levi saw him pointedly not looking at his injured boyfriend. Yeah, if Eren was in his position Levi would also not want to see him like this. It would hurt too much.

Thankfully his phone was next to him on the bedside table. Levi took it, wondering if it really did survive, because the display was cracked, but no, when he pushed the on button it lit up. “So, what’s the code?” he asked and Erwin grabbed the phone, glaring at him. “I’m not telling you.”

“Seriously?” Levi huffed as Erwin entered the password. “You think he’d mind?”

“Yes,” he simply said and opened Armin’s text messages.

Levi waited for him to find the ones he needed and glanced at Armin’s sleeping form. When he woke up he’d tell him he could have two cats for all he cared for. The guy deserved it after surviving that car accident.

“So, he didn’t tell you whether he texted Eren or not?” he asked and Erwin slightly shook his head.

“No. Contrary to your belief, we don’t constantly talk about your boyfriend.”

“Oh fuck off. That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Levi grumbled.

“No, he didn’t tell me. I didn’t think to ask him about it in all honestly. We were kind of distracted by the whole cat thing,” Erwin replied. It looked like he had found the messages, because he was scrolling down and Levi felt his stomach drop when his expression darkened.

“What is it?”

It took Erwin almost a minute before he responded. “I can’t believe he didn’t tell me,” Erwin muttered and gave him the phone. “Read it.”

Alarmed Levi scrolled back up to the first messages. He noticed that they had been exchanged the night after he had received his.

**Eren: Hey Armin, sorry for not texting! I was busy…**

**Armin: You still texted Levi though.**

**Eren: Yeah. I’m really sorry! I just wanted to talk to him as soon as possible.**

**Armin: It’s fine. Don’t get worked up over it. I’m glad you’re okay. I always get worried when you go to that convention.**

**Eren: I know, but I’m fine. It’s not that bad. Kinda boring.**

**Armin: Thought so. Hey, is Mikasa there?**

**Eren: No? Why should she?**

**Armin: You said she might be there. I thought seniors always went to the convention.**

**Eren: She isn’t here, no.**

**Armin: That’s weird.**

**Eren: You think so?**

**Armin: You don’t? I thought you wanted to talk to her about Levi. She probably won’t be happy about it, but it’s better to tell her sooner rather than later.**

**Eren: She isn’t here, so I can’t do that. Look, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I have to go now.**

**Armin: Alright.**

Levi paused after reading through the first bunch of messages. When Armin had mentioned Mikasa it almost seemed like Eren had wanted to avoid talking about her. And knowing that this wasn’t Eren Armin had texted with, it looked like that person hadn’t been expecting that topic. And it sounded like Armin had also found that strange. “Do you think Armin knows-”

“Read them all,” Erwin replied and Levi frowned at the harsh tone he used. Why was he mad?

The next messages had been from the next day. That kind of surprised him, because that was the day Eren hadn’t texted him.

**Eren: I can’t wait till I’m home again.**

**Armin: Trust me, I’m looking forward to that too. And Levi also is.**

**Eren: He is?**

**Armin: Eren, he’s even grumpier than he usually is. And that’s saying something.**

**Eren: That’s...not good. But I’ll make it up to him when I’m home.**

**Armin: Oh? How?**

**Eren: We could go out for dinner.**

**Armin: Oh. That wasn’t what I thought you’d say.**

**Eren: What did you think I was going to say?**

**Armin: Well, you know… A BJ or something…**

**Eren: BJ?**

**Armin: Oh my god, don’t make me write it down!**

**Eren: I still don’t get it.**

**Eren: ARMIN! What! I’d never do that!**

**Armin: Your sex life must be so boring.**

**Eren: What the hell??**

**Armin: I don’t know what’s the big deal. He’d like it.**

**Eren: That’s not the point! Whatever, I can’t believe you wrote that. Ew.**

**Armin: Ew? Eren, you’re gay. Come on, you’re overreacting.**

**Eren: Just stop.**

**Armin: What’s your problem? You’re acting really weird. Are you okay?**

**Eren: I’m fine. It’s nothing.**

**Armin: If you say so.**

**Armin: Anyway, Erwin and I are going shopping tomorrow for something special.**

**Eren: What is it?**

**Armin: Not telling you! It’s a surprise. I’ll send you a photo after buying the stuff. You’ll be thrilled!**

**Eren: Okay. When are you going shopping? So I know when to expect the photo.**

**Armin: Right after Erwin finishes work. So I guess at about five? Not sure. Could be a bit later.**

**Armin: I can’t wait to tell you!**

**Eren: I’ll be waiting. I have to stop now.**

**Armin: Alright. Talk to you tomorrow.**

The heavy feeling in his stomach only got worse the more he read. Levi couldn’t help but think that- No. Surely that was just a coincidence or something. What he was sure of however was that Armin knew he wasn’t talking to Eren. It was clear after they had talked about the blowjob thing.

The last messages were from the day the accident had occurred. They started minutes after Levi had first texted him that day.

**Eren: So I heard you’re getting a cat.**

**Armin: WHAT. Levi told you? That was supposed to be a surprise!!**

**Eren: It’s not my fault. He just straight up told me.**

**Armin: I know, I know. I’m still disappointed. But, anyway. Yes, I’m getting a cat!**

**Eren: But I heard it’s going to be at Levi’s place? Why?**

**Armin: Because I’m there a lot? And my grandpa doesn’t want a cat. I’ve got half of my clothes in Erwin’s room already. Maybe I really should tell my grandpa about us…**

**Eren: That would probably be a good idea. So he doesn’t know about that?**

**Armin: Nope. Don’t know how to tell him. But I will soon. I don’t like lying to him about anything.**

**Armin: Anyway, we’re at the pet store right now. I’m making Erwin buy so much stuff I almost feel bad.**

**Armin: Almost.**

**Eren: And when are you getting the cat?**

**Armin: Friday. Do you think Mikasa will like it? Maybe she’ll want to play with it, too.**

**Eren: I’m pretty sure she will.**

**Armin: Remember when we found that tiny kitten when we were about ten or so? She really wanted to take it with her.**

**Eren: Yeah I remember.**

**Armin: That’s strange, because that never happened.**

**Eren: What?**

**Armin: That didn’t happen. Mikasa is allergic to cats, Eren. You know that.**

**Armin: Who are you?**

**Eren: I’m me? What are you talking about?**

There was a ten minute gap between messages and Levi suspected that now Erwin and Armin were in the car.

**Armin: Who is this? Where’s Eren?**

**Armin: Tell me! Where is he?**

**Armin: Answer me! Who is this?**

**Eren: I’m sorry.**

**Eren: You’re distracting him from his rehabilitation. I can’t let that happen.**

**Eren: Armin?**

**Eren: I see.**

Levi knew why Armin hadn’t responded to the last messages.

“Why didn’t he tell me?” Erwin voiced his thoughts. “He knew that that wasn’t Eren and still, he didn’t say anything. Why?”

“I...don’t know,” Levi said, trying to wrap his head around the messages. The car accident hadn’t been an accident at all. Whoever had pretended to be Eren had known when they had been at the pet store. And there was only one in Shiganshina. But it couldn’t have been them who had caused it. No, someone else had to have done it. There were more people involved, more than Levi had originally thought.

Erwin sat down on the chair next to Armin’s bed. “Did he think he could solve this on his own? I don’t get it. I… So they wanted to get rid of him. They knew where we were headed, but how did they know in which car we were? Were they watching us the entire time?”

“I don’t know,” Levi repeated and read through the messages a second time. “When they find out Armin’s alive they could try to kill him again.”

“Why try to kill him?!” Erwin snapped. “I don’t understand how they could do something like this. Armin hasn’t done anything wrong. Besides, the police will find out who caused the accident. They’re done for. Would be killing him really worth it?”

Levi was asking himself the same question, but came up with no answers. To him it sounded like they were batshit insane. And what was that about distracting him – Eren – from his rehabilitation? How was that supposed to make any sense?

“Where’s the convention?” Levi asked. “There has to be a way to find out, right? I need to go there. I need to find Eren.”

“Maybe it’s on the school’s website? Although I doubt it,” Erwin muttered, not looking away from Armin. Levi thought it was worth a shot and quickly looked it up. Nothing. Well, fuck.

“Do you mind if I look through Armin’s phone?”

Erwin sighed. “No, just...do whatever you want.”

Hearing him sound this dejected made Levi’s anger only grow hotter. He’d find whoever did this and kill them himself. Laws be damned.

Just as he started to search through his phone he heard his own ringtone. Ready to decline the call he almost missed looking at the name on his phone’s screen. But it wasn’t a name. It was an unknown number.

“An unknown number’s calling me,” he told Erwin and looked at him.

“Could be trouble,” Erwin muttered. That was true. Either way, all he could do right now was pick up.

He took a deep breath before he answered the call.

“Yes, hello?”

“Levi? Armin’s in hospital?!” Eren yelled into the phone, making Levi put some distance between his phone and his ear. However, when his brain caught up to the fact that it was indeed Eren who called him he felt his heartbeat quicken.

“Are you alright? What’s going on? Where are you-”

“Just, tell me if Armin’s fine. Please,” Eren begged and Levi reigned in his own curiosity for a moment.

“He’s fine. He’ll pull through, don’t worry. But Eren, what the fuck is happening? I know that wasn’t you texting me,” Levi said. “What’s going on?”

There were a few seconds of silence and Levi clenched his teeth, ready to scream if Eren didn’t answer his questions.

“My dad took my phone. When we arrived at the convention he immediately started freaking out. I-I had no idea what was going on,” Eren started explaining, almost stumbling over the words. “He yelled at me, started telling me I betrayed his trust and- and he said he knew about our relationship. When we were- when we were at my house he heard us. Fuck, Levi, we should’ve been more careful. I was so stupid-”

“Eren, it doesn’t matter,” Levi cut him off and saw that Erwin was now watching him, eyes wide. “What else happened?”

“They took all my stuff. I had no way to contact you. God, I was so scared. I’ve never seen him this angry before. He- he told me that I’d be punished and then they- they locked me in this room. I was alone for a day in there. I had no idea what was going on,” Eren continued talking. Levi tightened the grip on his phone.

“And then Pastor Nick came in and- and said that I was starting to not be worth the money. I don’t know what he was talking about. I tried to escape but he held me back and he started- fuck, Levi.” He let out a shaky exhale and Levi’s heart ached. He wished he had been there, wished they had been more careful.

Levi could faintly hear someone talking to Eren and he cleared his throat before starting to speak again. “I-no, it’s… It doesn’t matter. I got out. I- We’re driving away.”

Levi frowned, trying to figure out exactly what had happened. “What happened? Eren-”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now. Please.”

Eren’s voice sounded rough and Levi knew that he shouldn’t push him. That had never worked and it wouldn’t know. So instead he concentrated on his other questions. “We? Where are you?”

“I’m with Mikasa. She- she got me out. We’re driving to Trost. Just- I needed to get away.”

“No, no, of course I understand that. But, how did she- No, doesn’t matter.” Levi could see Erwin looking at him questioningly. “Give me- Let me talk to Mikasa.”

He could hear both of them arguing for a moment before he heard her voice. “I did what I had to do,” she coldly said.

“I know. And I’m not going to ask too much right now, but we need to meet up. We need to figure out what the fuck is going on,” Levi replied, hoping she would agree. “They tried to kill Armin.”

“I heard about that. They- doesn’t matter. As much as I’d like to just leave with Eren I know that we’re all part of this now. So I agree. We’ll all meet up in Trost. Eren and I will rent a room there. We’ll call you when we’re at the hotel.”

Levi nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “Good. I- thanks, for saving him.” He couldn’t stand her, but her saving Eren made her less unlikeable.

“I didn’t do it for you,” Mikasa grumbled.

“I know. Still. Anyway, can I talk to Eren again?”

“No, he needs to sleep. I told you we’d call.”

“He’s still-”

And she ended the call. Of course she did.

“I need to go to Trost,” Levi told Erwin and walked towards the door, but Erwin grabbed his arm. “What? What’s going on?”

He quickly explained the situation. Erwin’s expression grew darker and darker the more he said. “Trost. We no longer have a car, though. And I doubt you’d be patient enough to go by bus or train.”

“You know me. I’m going to ask Hanji if she can lend me hers,” Levi replied.

“She’ll want to come with you.”

“I know.”

Erwin looked at Armin again. “I’ll stay here. I can’t leave him alone.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t going to take you with me anyway. I’ll keep you updated, alright? I just- I really need to get going.”

His friend let go of his arm and smiled sadly. “I hope he’s going to be fine.” They held eye contact for a long moment. Levi didn’t like the fact that he had to leave Erwin behind for this. He was still worried about Armin and the possibility that they’d try anything again, but right now he had no choice.

“Take care,” Erwin said and Levi nodded, the heavy feeling in his stomach still there.

“You too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry for the delay. Due to my beloved cat passing away I've been pretty miserable this last week and honestly, I forgot to update. My bad.
> 
> But on a brighter note, this fic has over 300 kudos now. Wow, I never expected so many people to like this! Thank you all so much! I hope you'll continue to enjoy my story.
> 
> (btw if anyone wants to do a riren|rivaere rp with me just message me on tumblr. same username there)


	20. Through Green Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But he wasn’t like that anymore. He was better now, stronger. He was willing to fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you all so much for the support! (and all the nice messages. I'm really thankful, guys) This is chapter 20, and wow, I never thought I'd write so many chapters for this story. This just keeps on growing.

_Why are you doing this, dad? Please come and get me out of here._

The light had left the room when the sun had disappeared from the horizon and left him in the darkness. He pressed his legs to his chest, shivering slightly. Autumn was ending and the air had grown colder every night. Blinded by the dark he searched around for a light switch, but try as he might, he couldn’t find one. There wasn’t a heater either. While searching he had only managed to bang his knee against metal.

Eren returned to his position in the corner of the small room. His situation reminded him of his life back at school, a time he desperately wanted to forget. Back then he had spent hours upon hours in small rooms, punished with silence and isolation for lashing out at his teachers and environment. But those rooms had never been cold, or dark. They hadn’t been this cruel.

His eyes started to get used to the darkness and he saw that aside from him there was only an overhead projector in the room. The last time he had seen one of those had been back at his old school, the one he had liked. The one where all his friends had been.

No, he shouldn’t think about that. Why did he always start thinking about the past? He wished he could just stop. Why couldn’t he just turn his brain off?

Being the idiot that he was he had thought that the convention would play out like every year. People would hold their boring speeches, his dad would abandon him when someone wanted to talk with him and then Eren would wander around and look for something to do, all while trying to avoid others. And when another day was over his father would go out to dinner with him and apologise for dragging him along.

Eren could feel his chest ache when he thought about his father. He had betrayed him. Without his knowledge he had started a relationship and to top it all off with a man who was ten years older. Not only that, but he had lied to him about what he was doing several times. It had been ludicrous to think his father wouldn’t find out about it. His wishful thinking had always got him in trouble. What did Armin always say? He was a dreamer, always thinking about something else. Could anyone blame him? It was far easier to think about some other reality than the one he lived in.

Knowing it was useless, but unable to stop himself, Eren stood up and walked to the door, trying to open it, but ultimately failing. Again. “Let me out!” he yelled and banged against it several times. Nothing. Go figure. A few minutes after being dragged in here he had come up with the idea of simply breaking it. However, that brilliant idea had only left him with a bruised shoulder.

And so he once again sat down and leaned against the cold wall.

Even though Eren was aware he had betrayed his father’s trust, he knew he couldn’t forgive him for doing this to him. How could he simply leave him here? Eren had no idea where his father even was.

Knowing that his dad had found out about his relationship with Levi by overhearing them having sex in his bedroom was mortifying. He couldn’t believe that he had just said that in front of all these people, people that Eren knew thought such a relationship and act was immoral. Something despicable.

And Eren used to think that, too. At school he had been taught that it was not okay to feel that way, to be like that. His teachers had said that some people were born that way. That they were born already with a demon residing within them. And young him, young stupid him had believed them. But not anymore.

They were wrong, all of them. They had tried to change him and turn him into a different person, but he couldn’t change himself. No matter how hard he tried, he was still Eren Jaeger, the boy with a temper, the boy who acted without thinking, the man who everyone called a monster.

Eren didn’t know why they said it. After being called such a thing he had simply grown to accept it, what else could he do? If he was a monster so be it. It was another thing he couldn’t change.

Mikasa had been the only person who had stood up for him back at school when had done something stupid again. She had defended him and had been punished for it, but she had never felt bad about doing so. No, she had simply smiled and told him he wasn’t a monster. That he was fine the way he was.

And how had he repaid her? By making them both get caught after going to see Armin and making her repeat a grade as punishment. He remembered when they had dragged him away from her and to Pastor Nick. His punishment had been different.

No, what was he doing? Why was he thinking about all this again? Eren buried his face in his hands, cursing himself for always thinking about his mistakes. He wasn’t just his mistakes. Yeah, he was a fuck up and used to think that if he just behaved he’d get by, but that was in the past.

No, he wanted to be himself.

Eren knew his dad wouldn’t get him out of here. He wouldn’t rescue him. Maybe he had finally given up on him. As his son he had never been good enough for him, deep down he knew that. His father could never look at him for long. Was it because he was a monster? Was it because he still needed to go to cleansing sessions? Eren didn’t know. A parent loved their child unconditionally, so then why was he punishing him like this? Eren loved his father, always had. He looked up to him and yet he couldn’t help but be scared of him at times.

Like when he hadn’t done his job at the clinic, when he had lied to him.

It had been Levi’s fault. It hadn’t been his. Levi had made it sound like Eren had wanted to throw him under the bus and of course his father had taken his side. It was logical, wasn’t it? Who would his dad believe, the customer or his son who always got in trouble?

After that his dad had locked him in his room, saying he needed to weaken the demon. Eren hadn’t left that room for three days. He hadn’t eaten anything. It had been luck that he had had a nearly full water bottle in his rucksack. And when he had needed to go to the bathroom, he had used it to relieve himself. His dad used to lock him in his room occasionally, but never for three days. And when he had finally been released Eren had nearly run out of the house, just to get away and had bought himself some food, some water and of course he had collapsed when Mr. Smith was there.

He hadn’t blamed his father for his actions back then. From his point of view Eren had lied after all. But Eren was smarter now and knew that that hadn’t been okay. Everything the school had taught him wasn’t true. And it had taken meeting Levi to fully realise that.

Levi, the epitome of everything that he had been taught to avoid. He was rude, vulgar, bisexual and had worked at a sex shop of all things. When Eren had first met him he had thought he could change him. People could change, after all, and Eren was a good man who wanted to make his father proud of him.

It had been his mission to change Levi. That way he could prove them all wrong. He wasn’t a fuck up, he wasn’t beyond help. They would see that he could do good. Just thinking about how he used to be made him want to gag. So eager to please them.

And in the end it hadn’t been him who had changed Levi, but the other way around. Through him Eren had seen that the world wasn’t the way he had been taught. People weren’t bad because of demons inside of them. No, they were just assholes. Being crude was okay at times. Offensive humour was fun and pretending to be someone else only made oneself miserable.

When exactly Eren had realised he had a crush on Levi he couldn’t tell. These feelings had scared him, always had. He had done everything to make it look like he was straight. He had even gone as far as to make fun of homosexuals and had without knowing hurt Armin by doing so. His best friend had been too scared to tell him that he had found a person he was happy with.

But he wasn’t like that anymore, Eren told himself. He was better now, stronger. He was willing to fight.

Eren looked up at the window, the only way he could leave this place. They had dragged him down the stairs and to this room. The window was at level with the ground. It was higher up than he was tall, but Eren had an idea.

He stood up and rolled the overhead projector to the window. It looked like the glass wasn’t the thinnest and Eren didn’t really want to use his hand to break it. This plan was risky, he knew that. There was a real possibility that someone would hear him. There had occasionally been people walking by. However, if he managed to get out of the room then he was confident he could outrun them. Yes, he had to take the risk.

Eren grabbed the top part of the projector and tried to tear it off. He twisted it from side to side, hoping it was old enough and kind of crappy. Thankfully it came off several minutes later and Eren let out a relieved sigh.

Alright. He could do this. After escaping he would take a bus or train home. Then he’d go to Levi. They would think about what to do next. Eren just needed him right now. He was sick of being alone.

Carefully he climbed onto the overhead projector, cringing when he heard it creaking. Right. This was it. He lifted his hand, the broken off part ready to be used to smash the window when he stopped. He heard something.

With wide eyes he saw that the doorknob was being turned. Oh no. Fuck. What should he do? Get off and pretend he wasn’t doing anything? But he broke the projector. They wouldn’t buy that. No, he had to escape, he had to get out.

With his decision made he quickly smashed the window, his heartbeat accelerating when he heard the door being opened. Fuck. He had to hurry, he had to leave!

Eren dragged himself up, wincing when glass cut his hands, but he couldn’t concentrate on that. He heard someone shouting behind him and felt the projector being pushed away. His hands grasped grass and he pushed himself further up. He saw the sky. Just a bit more.

Hands grabbed his legs and he cried out, desperately trying to escape. He kicked his feet and felt his foot connect with something hard. Judging from the cry he hit someone’s face. Good.

_Just a bit more. Come one, Eren. Fuck, you can do this. A bit mo- No! No!_

They pulled him back down. He wasn’t strong enough to hold onto the window frame. The cuts on his hands only worsened as he struggled and with a startled cry he fell back into the room. His back hit the ground and his head smacked against it, leaving him feeling dizzy and disoriented.

Someone pulled him up and Eren struggled against him. He cried out when they twisted his hands behind his back painfully. His blurred vision focused again and his heart jumped to his throat when he saw that it was Pastor Nick.

_No, no. This can’t be happening. Not him._

“You’re really not worth the money, Eren,” he hissed and grabbed him by his hair, forcing him to look up into his face. “Still a little monster, aren’t you?”

Eren glared at him, his anger burning inside of him. He spit into his face, for a moment satisfied by the Pastor’s disgusted reaction and outcry. Bastard deserved it.

“You’ll regret that,” he growled and Eren struggled in vain as they pushed him out of the room, dragging him away.

“Let me go!” he screamed. “Can’t- someone help! Let go!” He twisted and turned, trying to get away, but it was useless. He couldn’t do anything. He was too weak.

Another man pushed a door open and they forced him inside the new room, a bathroom.

“I’ll teach you to obey!” Pastor Nick roared and Eren found himself in front of a filled bathtub. What was he- Pastor Nick grabbed his hair again. Eren’s eyes widened in panic when he realised what he was going to do.

“No, sto-” Cold water hit his face and Eren resisted the urge to take a breath. The freezing temperature forced it out of him anyway. He could hear muffled voices as he struggled to hold his breath. His lungs ached and burned and just when he thought he would pass out his head was dragged out of the water.

With a gasping breath he resurfaced, coughing and sputtering. But it wasn’t over. His head was forced downwards again and again into the cold water. Eren couldn’t defend himself. It was useless. The strength left him and several times his vision nearly went dark. Pastor Nick was talking, but he couldn’t hear him, he didn’t understand. He just wanted this to stop. He couldn’t do it anymore. Was he going to die? Was he-

 

“ **Eren!”**

 

His eyes snapped open and he jerked upwards, hissing when he hit his head. Wait, he hit his head? He looked to his left and saw Mikasa looking at him. They were in a car.

_Ah, right. I got out._

Eren rubbed the top of his head. That was going to leave a bump.

“Are you okay? You suddenly yelled...” Mikasa said quietly.

“I- I’m alright,” Eren replied out of habit. The dream had felt so real. Well, not surprising. It had been a memory after all. As he looked out of the window he noticed that they were no longer driving and instead in a parking lot. “Where are we?”

Mikasa opened the car door. “The last town before Trost. We need to ditch the car. Let’s take the bus,” she told him and got out.

They were on the run now. Never in his life had Eren thought he’d be in this kind of situation, but here he was. As he opened the door he noticed the various cuts on his hands. However, before he could think about the convention Mikasa interrupted his train of thought.

“Eren. We need to get going.”

“Yeah, I know.”

They left the car and Eren walked beside Mikasa, hugging himself. It was getting dark and Eren swore he could see his breath.

“Hey, should we stop and buy you a jacket or something? I hope a shop is still open,” Mikasa suddenly said as she looked at him with worried eyes.

“No, it’s fine. I’m okay,” Eren said and she rolled her eyes.

“Sure… Look, you don’t have to pretend to be strong, alright? I know you Eren. You can’t just shrug this off or-”

“I said I’m _fine_ ,” he snapped, immediately regretting his rough tone. Shit, he hadn’t meant to talk to her like that. It was just… he didn’t want her to baby him. He’d gone through worse. Okay, not really, but he could take care of himself.

Mikasa unwrapped the scarf she wore and threw it over Eren’s head. “Mikasa? What the-”

“Take it. You’re cold,” she told him and looked ahead. “I’m not giving it back to you, by the way. It’s still mine.”

“I wasn’t going to assume that,” Eren quietly said and wrapped it around his neck, the soft, warm material making him relax. “...thanks.”

When Mikasa didn’t reply Eren took the time to look around. Being in another town was strange. He normally never left Shiganshina. The only times he left was when he went to the zoo in Stohess or to some meeting. In all honesty he felt…free now. His father wasn’t here and right now that was fine with him. Eren could do what he wanted without him.

“Do you know where the next bus stop is?” he asked Mikasa after they walked around for a while.

“Not exactly, but it has to be around the main street,” she answered. “You understand why we’re going to Trost, right?”

Eren kicked a stone away. “No.”

“They’re going to search for us. In a big city it’ll be harder for them to find you, or me,” Mikasa explained and she slowed down until they both stopped walking. “Eren.”

“W- What is it?” Why was she looking at him so seriously?

She adjusted her red scarf on his neck. “Do you really trust that Levi?”

Her question took him by surprise and he frowned. Why was she asking him that now? “Yeah, I do. Why-”

“I’m going to be honest with you. I don’t like him. At all,” Mikasa said sternly. “And I think that- that he’s using you or-”

“Gosh, Mikasa. Can we not talk about this right now?” Eren groaned and started walking again. She quickly caught up to him and he sighed. Couldn’t they talk about this later? Or never? Oh yes, he’d prefer that.

“But it’s important. When I talked to him he seemed so...cold, and rude. I don’t think someone like that is compatible with-”

“That’s funny coming from you of all people,” he lashed out, knowing his words hurt, but hers did too. “You don’t even know him.”

“How could I? You never even mentioned him!” she replied and grabbed his arm. “Look at me when I’m talking to you!”

Eren stopped walking once again and stared down at her. He loved Mikasa, he really did, but sometimes talking to her could almost feel suffocating. She knew how to push all his buttons. “What was I supposed to say? I knew it would only hurt you.”

“That would’ve been better than leading me to believe you liked me romantically,” she remarked and Eren laughed.

“Leading you to believe? I never did that! You- you forced yourself on me,” he struggled to say the words. “Do you even know how awkward that was? Do you know how I felt when you tried to kiss me?”

“You didn’t-”

“What, mind? I did. And I told you, too. Don’t play dumb with me, Mikasa. I was trying to tell you, but you didn’t want to believe it. It’s not my fault.”

Mikasa looked away from him and Eren saw that her fists were clenched. “You can be such an asshole,” she hissed. “Why didn’t you just tell me you were gay? I don’t get that.”

“Because I was scared!” it burst out of him, stunning Mikasa into silence. He hadn’t meant for it to spill out of him, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself. It was frustrating that no one seemed to understand him, though. Was he the only one who didn’t know himself? He couldn’t be the only person who struggled with such things.

“I… didn’t want to admit that to myself,” Eren said and the tension left the air. “I was struggling with that. And I- I didn’t tell you about Levi because I’m a coward, alright? I knew it would hurt you and I didn’t want that. I felt crappy enough because I made you repeat a grade.”

“Eren-”

“And now you’re going to say “It wasn’t your fault.”.”

“-it wasn’t your fault.”

“Well, it was,” he continued and put both his hands on her shoulders. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t know how to handle the situation. And yeah, I can be an asshole, but…I’m trying, alright? I just don’t want to hurt you.”

Under his hands he felt the tension in her shoulders leave and she looked up at him. “I know. It’s… hard for me to accept it, the Levi thing. I love you, Eren,” she admitted, her voice soft and quiet.

Eren had no idea what to say. Was there even anything he could tell her that would make her feel better? He doubted it. Hearing her say those words wasn’t easy. He wished she would mean them the way he did. But Eren knew that she didn’t think of him as a brother.

“I can’t change the way I feel, Mikasa. I’m sorry,” he said and let go off her shoulders.

“No, I understand,” she replied, looking anywhere but at him. “You must think I’m a complete idiot.”

She looked up at the sky and sighed. “I wish you would’ve said something. If I had known you were gay I might not have…let it get that far. Honestly, I have no idea if I can stomach seeing Levi.”

“You don’t have to pretend to like him for my sake,” Eren assured her and she rolled her eyes.

“I wasn’t going to. But, can you…not…kiss him in front of me?”

“Mikasa-”

“Please,” she said and the pain in her voice made Eren shut up. “I can’t- I’ve been in love with you for two years. I don’t want to see it. Just…please. Not in front of me.”

Eren reached up to touch the scarf she had lent him. He hated that he hurt her, but it had been inevitable. And yet he couldn’t stop himself from feeling guilt. Two years. He couldn’t imagine how much it must hurt to know the person you loved would never feel the same way.

“Okay,” he agreed. “I won’t kiss him.”

“Thank you,” Mikasa breathed.

Eren hoped that she would get over him eventually. He’d hate for them to grow apart because of this. Mikasa was the reason he hadn’t gone completely mad at school. She was his rock he could always depend upon.

“Let’s get going. I think there’s a bus stop ahead,” she murmured and they continued walking in silence.

As it turned out she was right. The next bus wouldn’t leave for another twenty minutes and they sat down on the bench, close to each other so they wouldn’t be too cold.

Eren wondered how long they would stay in Trost. Mikasa had said she had taken all the money she had with her, but chances were that it would run out sooner than later. What would they do then? Going back to Shiganshina wasn’t an option right now. Eren was honestly truly afraid that they would kill him. They had tried to kill Armin after all. Levi had said he was fine, but Eren couldn’t help but be worried. Guilt was gnawing at him, too. Without him all the people he liked wouldn’t be in danger.

“You’re thinking again, aren’t you?” Mikasa commented and nudged him with her foot. “You’ve got that crease between your eyebrows.”

Eren shrugged. “Can’t help it. Everything’s gone to shit.”

“Yeah, guess so. But, at least we’re together,” she tried to cheer him up and Eren gave her a soft smile.

“True. I still can’t believe you stole a car from a teacher,” he laughed and she smirked.

“The poor guy never saw it coming.”

“You’re unbelievable. But in a good way,” he said. “Mikasa… Thank you, for getting me out of there.”

He felt her touch his hand and squeeze it. “I’m glad you’re okay. Seeing you in there was...scary. Has it always been like this? Back in school, were punishments...”

“No. It wasn’t that bad,” he assured her. “Let’s forget about it for now and concentrate on something else. When we’re in Trost we’ll have to find a hotel and when Levi-” he rambled on, talking to her about their next plans and he knew that Mikasa was aware that he was only trying not to think about what had happened to him the last few days. However, she didn’t push him to talk. Even she knew when it was best not to pry.

And he was thankful for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this and not giving too much away was honestly a complete nightmare. Also, I actually like writing Eren's POV more than Levi's so it's funny to me that I'm even writing this story from Levi's. Oh well. I hope it wasn't too different, but I felt like it was time to give some insight into Eren's character (after 19 chapters...) Originally I thought I'd split their POVs throughout the fic, but that wouldn't really have worked. But, I decided to keep this chapter that I had already planned out. So, tell me your thoughts? I'd really like feedback on this chapter!


	21. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You scared me.”

The now ever-present knot in Levi’s stomach grew tighter the closer they got to Trost. It had been so long since he had been there. In all honesty, he had thought he would never have to go back. Trost was a chapter in Levi’s life he wanted to forget and now he was forced to confront the damned city again. It truly sucked.

“Would you call Moblit for me?” Hanji asked him after they had spent twenty minutes in complete silence. It had surprised Levi that she had managed to be quiet for so long. “My phone’s in my bag.”

“And why would I do that?” Levi drawled and glanced at her.

“Sometimes I truly wonder why I bother asking you for anything,” she muttered. “Just do me the favour of calling him. Put him on loudspeaker.”

Hanji sounded serious, which immediately alerted Levi. To make her get serious was a feat in itself. And because he was a good guy, he complied.

They both waited for Moblit to pick up and Levi saw that Hanji’s knuckles were white from how tightly she was gripping the steering wheel.

“ _Hanji, why are you calling me? Shouldn’t you be at work? Are you alright?”_

“I’m not at work. I closed the shop for the day,” she replied chipper, but her tense posture betrayed her and Levi frowned.

“ _Why would you do that? Did...something happen?”_ Moblit sounded concerned.

Levi didn’t know much about him. Hanji only occasionally mentioned him and whenever she did she was complaining that he was always worried about her. Honestly, Levi didn’t even know what the relationship between the two was.

“Kind of,” she told him and sighed. “I won’t be able to make it to dinner tonight. I’m sorry. I know you were looking forward to it.”

“ _Ah. Oh, that’s alright. But why not?”_ he asked. “ _What’s going on?”_

“I’m helping one of my employees with something and it’s pretty serious. I don’t know when I’ll be back tonight. Or if.”

“ _Can you tell me what it is?”_

“I’m afraid not. It’s… Even if I tried to explain it it would take a while. But don’t worry!” she quickly added. “I’ll make it up to you! I promise.”

Levi heard Moblit sigh.

“ _I’m not going to get a straight answer from you, am I?”_

Hanji grimaced. “No.”

“ _Of course… As long as you’ll be fine I’m okay with it. Take care, alright? You know I get worried about you.”_

“I know, I know. I promise I’ll be fine. When I’ve finished helping I’ll call you.”

“ _Okay. Be safe, love.”_

“I will be. Bye.”

The call ended and Levi raised an eyebrow. “Love? I had no idea you and him were together.”

“It’s not like you ever bothered to ask,” Hanji replied and stopped in front of a traffic light. “I wanted you to ask, by the way.”

“And why would I do that? It’s not any of my business.”

“Believe it or not. Some people like talking to others about their personal life. We’re not all as emotionally constipated as you are,” she said and Levi was taken aback by the bite in her voice.

He wasn’t emotionally constipated. Levi just assumed that people didn’t like others butting into their business. He certainly wasn’t a fan of it.

“Should I apologise for not asking about your personal life then? I have no idea what you want to hear from me right now,” Levi told her confused and slightly upset.

“What I’m trying to say is that I like helping you, but I’m not sure if you even give a damn about me.” She continued driving when the traffic light turned green. “When you came into my shop you just expected me to drop everything and go with you to save your boyfriend. And of course I came with you, because you’re my friend, but I honestly don’t know if you’d do the same for me.”

“Hanji, what-”

“No, I’m not finished,” she cut him off and took a deep breath. “I don’t know why Erwin is letting you do this. Maybe it’s because he’s used to your bullshit by now and thinks it’s normal, but I don’t. You expect me to help you, and I really do want to help, but you never, ever even try to find out more about me. Is it because you just don’t care? I really don’t understand you,” Hanji said.

“Of course I care,” Levi interjected.

“Really? You didn’t even know who Moblit was. I’ve mentioned him a couple of times so far and any normal person would’ve asked who he is, but you just nodded and that was it. You didn’t even ask if it was really fine if I closed the shop to help you. I expected you to ask whether I was losing a lot of money because of that or not. I thought you’d ask if I could just call someone to take over for me today. By the way, no, I couldn’t. Armin is at the hospital, Jean and Marco were looking so miserable yesterday that I doubt they’re even in class today and Annie wouldn’t have been able to continue working alone. So yes, this whole situation is less than ideal.”

Levi was having trouble following everything that Hanji was saying. He was starting to suspect that the reason she had been silent for so long was because she had been mulling over what to say to him. Well, this was it apparently and Levi wished she had just stayed quiet.

“Can we not talk about this right now?” he muttered and looked out of the window. “I’m kind of stressed out right now.”

“And you think it’s just you? You really don’t give a shit, do you?” Hanji said. “Do you even care for anyone besides Eren?”

“Of course I do!” Levi snapped and glared at her. “I give a big fucking shit, but right now Eren is my priority. Did you forget that I was waiting in the hospital for hours for some news on Armin? Did you completely miss the fact that I was seriously worried about Erwin?”

“Is it just me then?”

“Goddammit Hanji! I care about you, alright?” Levi told her. “Did you really not notice that I’m awful at talking to people? I didn’t ask because I thought you’d get mad or something!”

“Why would I get mad?”

“I don’t know! Do you think I even know why I do the things I do?” he groaned. “I’m not good at talking, or making friends. I’m awkward as all hell, alright? And yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t ask about the shop thing, but I’m currently occupied with thinking about if Eren is alright and what the hell happened to him in the last few days. I’m sorry, okay?”

Levi turned his head away from her and gripped his right thigh tightly, already regretting his outburst. Sharing his thoughts and…feelings with other people wasn’t something he often did. It had backfired so many times that he couldn’t help but be apprehensive now.

“I was wrong,” Hanji said quietly. “Maybe you do care. But you can’t blame me for thinking you didn’t.”

“It’s fine,” he sighed and stared ahead.

This was the first time he had had such a serious conversation with her and it left him feeling tense. In all honesty he hadn’t thought talking to her like this was even possible.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have moved here,” she told him all of a sudden. “You’re in the middle of some…really messed up stuff now.”

“Honestly, it’s still better than how things were before,” he muttered.

“Really? You used to live in Trost, right?” He nodded. “You never said why you moved away.”

“I don’t talk about it.”

Hanji bit her lip, but didn’t ask him further questions about it. No way was he going to have a therapy session with her in this car. Levi had different things to worry about now.

He took another look at his phone. When were they going to call? How long would it take for them to get to Trost? He should’ve asked when he had had the chance. When Levi lifted his head again, he saw that it was starting to rain.

When they arrived in Trost later that day, Levi still hadn’t received a phone call from Eren and Mikasa. It could be that they were simply not here yet, but that didn’t stop him from thinking about possible worse scenarios. He noticed that Hanji refrained from commenting on the darkening expression on his face.

Levi directed Hanji to drive to a part of the city he wasn’t familiar with. The chances of bumping into anyone here were small, no, impossible. Trost was a big city and it should be unthinkable that he would meet someone he knew here, but he couldn’t be too careful. If Hanji met anyone that knew Levi that would be it. She’d cut him out of her life and never speak to him again. And that was the best case scenario in that situation.

To pass time until they got the phone call they both sat down in a questionably looking café. Levi tried not to touch more than he needed to.

The coffee was undrinkable.

Conversation between Hanji and him didn’t flow as smoothly as he was used to it. They were both on edge, tense because of the purpose of their trip and from their car drive. A few times it was Levi who initiated a conversation, simply because he couldn’t stand the silence anymore. Right now any distraction was welcome.

The phone call came when they both had already been kicked out of the café. It was Mikasa who told them in which hotel they would be staying. Levi didn’t even try to ask if he could talk to Eren. He already knew her answer.

After a frustrating search for a parking spot – and now Levi remembered why he had never bothered buying or renting a car – they finally arrived at the hotel.

“Guess we’ll also be staying for the night,” Hanji stated as they walked inside.

“Yeah,” Levi droned and got them a room. As much as he wanted to get a single room, he was not going to waste money. He would probably regret this decision.

“If you snore I’m going to kick you out of the bed,” he grumbled as they walked into the lift. “I’m not joking.”

The laugh he got in response made it even clearer that he should’ve insisted on staying in a room alone.

However, that all didn’t really matter right now. They were finally here and he would see Eren.

It felt like an eternity since he had last seen him, even though it hadn’t even been a full week. All Levi wanted to know was whether he was fine or not. And then they could start figuring out what to do. But first, he had to see him.

As soon as they reached their floor Levi hurried over to the room Mikasa and Eren were staying in. His throat felt dry the closer he got. So many things had happened since Eren had left and Levi had no clue what he was even going to say to him.

He knocked on the door with more force than necessary, but he simply couldn’t hold himself back. A quick look over his shoulder told him that Hanji hadn’t followed him.

“Who is it?”

It was Mikasa’s voice he first heard and he internally groaned. There was no doubt in his mind that she would try to limit his interactions with Eren. He had gotten the impression that she was very protective of Eren – not that he couldn’t understand that, because honestly, he knew he was similar to her in that regard. Still, right now he wanted to talk to Eren alone. Hopefully she would see reason and let him.

Now that he thought about it, did she even know that he was in a relationship with Eren?

“It’s Levi,” he replied impatiently. “Let me in.”

He heard the key being turned and the door opened.

“He just went to the bathroom,” she said coldly, staring down at him and if Levi were another man he would feel intimidated, but right now he truly couldn’t give less of a fuck. It didn’t matter to him what she thought of him.

Levi closed the door behind him and walked into the room.

“What-”

“We’ll talk when Eren finishes showering, or whatever he’s doing,” she cut him off and sat down on her small bed.

Her inability to let him finish a sentence ticked him off, but for the sake of maintaining a semblance of peace between them he held back on commenting and instead somewhat awkwardly sat down on the other bed.

Mikasa was avoiding eye contact with him and Levi suspected that Eren had indeed told her about their relationship. That had to sting. Well, it wasn’t like he particularly cared. From what he had heard she had forced himself on him and had deluded herself into thinking he loved her romantically. Yeah, she wouldn’t get any sympathy from him.

Silence filled the room and although normally Levi appreciated it in that moment it felt suffocating. He wanted to know what had happened, but Mikasa wasn’t going to talk to him without Eren. Levi wished he’d hurry up.

A knock on the door made Mikasa finally pay attention to her surroundings again and she walked to the door.

“Who is it?”

“Hello? Is this the right room? Is Levi in there? I’m Hanji!”

“Hanji? Who-”

“She’s with me,” Levi explained and Mikasa’s eyes narrowed.

“I don’t know her. Why did you bring her?”

“Because otherwise getting here would’ve taken ages.” Although, now that he thought about it they did wait a while in Trost. Well, whatever.

“Relax, okay? You can trust her. Eren knows her.”

She waited a few more seconds before she opened the door. Hanji smiled at her and Levi prayed that she wouldn’t make this whole situation any worse.

“You must be Mikasa! Nice to meet you!”

“Yeah…nice to meet you,” Mikasa replied.

Hanji took off her glasses and cleaned them with the hem of her shirt. “So, where’s Eren?”

While the two were talking Levi looked out of the window, frowning as he looked down at the familiar streets of Trost. What were they going to do now? This whole situation seemed like it was going to lead to a dead end. With Eren having been held captive and Armin in the hospital… He’d need to call Erwin to check up on Armin’s condition later.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a splashing sound from the bathroom and a thud. He couldn’t help himself and walked over to the door, knocking on it twice.

“Eren? Are you alright? It’s me,” he stated and waited for a reply, but got none. Instead he heard a strangled sound. Levi heard that Hanji and Mikasa had stopped talking and were now concentrating on him. “I’m coming in.”

When he opened the door he was greeted by a scene he hadn’t expected. Hot, damp air hit him and he grimaced. The water was still running in the shower, but the glass door was open and the handheld shower head was on the ground, spraying water in the air. And then there was Eren, naked, sitting on the floor with his back against the wall, his hair grasped in his fingers as he looked at the ground. Despite the heat his face was pale and Levi could see red cuts on his hands.

Before he could react Mikasa was already pushing past him and knelt down besides Eren, one hand on his shoulder.

“Eren? Talk to me. What’s going on?” she asked, voice soft and so different to what Levi was used to hearing come out of her mouth.

But Eren only shook his head and clutched his hair tighter. Levi heard him taking deep breaths, but far too fast and he opened the window in the bathroom to let fresh air stream in and turned the shower off.

Mikasa was trying to get Eren to talk while Hanji stood in the doorway, unsure what to do. Levi wrecked his brain, trying to remember what one was supposed to do when someone was having a panic attack, because that looked like it was one. He had no idea what would help. If he were in such a situation he would probably want to be left alone, but that was most likely not such a good idea.

“Do you need anything? Come on, tell me what’s going on,” Mikasa said and bit her lip. “I’m really worried, Eren. What is it? What happened?”

“You’re panicking,” Levi told her matter-of-factly. “That’s not really helping.”

“Oh really? I don’t see you doing anything!” she snapped and looked at the not responding Eren again.

“Just stay calm, alright? He’s already panicking. Us freaking out is only going to make this worse.” Levi was also trying to stay calm. Seeing Eren like this reminded him too much of his breakdown at his house. “Let’s do this one step at a time. First he needs to breathe properly again. Focus on that.”

She didn’t say anything for several seconds and Levi thought she’d just ignore his advice, but then she spoke.

“Eren, take some deep breaths, alright? You’re breathing too quickly. Everything’s okay. Just breathe.”

Levi watched her trying to get Eren’s attention and relaxed when Eren finally responded. Mikasa was no longer only adding to his already panicked state and was instead calm. While they were breathing together he scanned the room, trying to figure out what could’ve caused him to panic. However, nothing that he saw was unusual. It looked like a normal bathroom to him.

“Good. It’s fine. You’re going to be fine. We’re all here. I’m here, Hanji’s here and...Levi’s here too. It’ll be okay,” she comforted Eren and he lifted his head to look at her.

“I- Okay,” he breathed and closed his eyes for a moment and rested his head against the wall. “Okay. I’m sorry. I just...yeah. Sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologise,” Levi said and Eren opened his eyes to look at him. So many questions were on Levi’s mind, but he wouldn’t try to ask him too much. Especially after his panic attack. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine now. I tried taking a shower, but…I couldn’t.” Eren looked down again and opened his mouth in shock. “I, uhm, I’m kind of…” He put his hands between his legs, his once pale face now flushed red. “I should get dressed.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Mikasa asked and he nodded.

“Yeah, I’m fine now. Really,” he replied and she smiled softly and nodded, standing up again. “Then I’ll let you get dressed on your own,” she said and hesitated for another second before leaving the room, passing by Hanji who went with her.

Levi walked to the door and shut it, turning back to Eren who had stood up.

“Is something wrong?”

A short laugh at the absurd question escaped Levi and he shook his head. “You’re...truly something else,” he replied. “You scared me.”

Eren’s eyes widened and he gaped at him. “I scared you? _You_ were scared?”

“Of course I was fucking scared. I’m not some emotionless machine,” Levi said and regretted the harsh tone he had used when Eren flinched.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” Eren looked away and Levi sighed.

“I know. I...I’m really glad you’re alright,” he told him earnestly. “But you should really get dressed. Not that I don’t enjoy seeing you naked and wet.” He wished they could talk alone about everything, but that wasn’t possible and not fair to the others. It would honestly surprise him if Eren had already told Mikasa everything.

“You’re still an asshole,” Eren muttered, but Levi knew he didn’t mean it. Okay, maybe a bit, but that was fine by him. “I’m glad you’re okay, too.”

Eren got dressed and walked to the door, his hand lingering on the door handle for a few seconds before he exited the bathroom. Levi cleaned the mess in the room before he followed him, seeing Eren sitting on his bed with a steaming cup in his hands.

Hanji was talking to Mikasa, but Levi wasn’t that interested in their conversation. He sat down next to Eren.

“Do you feel better now?” He didn’t miss Mikasa’s gaze wandering over to them for a short moment.

Eren nodded. “Yup. Don’t know what that was about, but I’m good now,” he said and smiled at him.

“I think you do know,” Levi replied, not fooled by Eren’s attempt to downplay the incident. When Eren drank from his cup Levi stared at the cuts on his hands, some deep and ugly and red. He briefly wondered why they weren’t covered with bandages.

“Eren,” Mikasa began and Levi looked at her, but not Eren. “I think I’ve been patient enough. And after your panic attack just now… I’m really worried. When I found you in that room you-”

“I know,” Eren interjected and tightened his grip on the cup. “I’d just rather not talk about it.”

“So you expect us to accept this? That’s not going to happen,” Levi retorted. His patience wasn’t endless. Eren again and again tried to avoid talking about what was happening to him and in his environment and Levi was sick of it. He was sick of the lies, the diversions, everything.

Hanji hummed in thought and leaned forward. “What do you think will happen if you keep all these things to yourself? Will you gain peace of mind? Will you be happy that you didn’t burden others?”

“Ms. Zoe, I-”

“We’re truly past that. Call me Hanji,” she smiled softly.

“Hanji,” Eren corrected himself, “I don’t see what good will come if I tell you. That’s it.”

“Ah, I see.” Hanji laughed and raised an eyebrow. “You’re pretty selfish.”

“What-”

“We’ve all been worried sick over you. You just had a panic attack, but you don’t want to talk because it would be, what, uncomfortable for you? I don’t get what you’re even afraid of. We’re your friends.”

Levi saw Eren’s hands shaking and Eren – nearly spilling his coffee while doing so – set it down on the ground before intertwining his hands to stop them from shaking. “I’m not selfish,” he denied.

“Selfishness isn’t necessarily a bad thing,” she countered. “But can’t you see that what you’re doing isn’t going to help anyone? How are any of us supposed to help you when you’re closing yourself off? If Mikasa had been in your situation, would you want to hear what happened? Would you want to help her?”

“Of course!” Eren admitted and paused, realising his hypocrisy. “I guess… I’m just not used to talking about those kind of things.” He glanced at Levi, who hoped he would now talk.

“I couldn’t take a shower because it reminded me of what happened. It’s stupid, now that I think about it, that I thought I could take one like that. Just standing under the water stream.” His brows were drawn together as he talked, his knuckles white, accentuating the red cuts. “I was punished by being pushed into water. Again, and again. I constantly thought I was going to drown.”

Levi closed his eyes and tried not to imagine it, but failed. The anger in his gut felt hot and heavy.

“These cuts-” Eren stared at them and chuckled. “I got them when I tried to escape. I thought I could smash the window and run away. It didn’t work.”

Levi looked at Mikasa whose eyes were dark and cold. He had no doubt that right now she would gladly get some revenge. He felt the same.

“Why did they do it?” Hanji asked, voice calm and soft. Levi had thought he had made a mistake, bringing her here, but he hadn’t. In serious situations she could be surprisingly composed.

“My dad found out about my relationship,” Eren replied. “And he...betrayed me.” Anger and anguish shone through when he spoke. “They locked me in a room. They tried to change me, make me regret my decisions. It didn’t work. It just made me hate them instead.”

“I heard them talking about you,” Mikasa continued talking when Eren stopped. “I was going to the director’s office when I overheard them. They said that they were sick of you. And they said that this time they were going to bleed your dad dry. I don’t understand what they meant by that.”

“Money,” Levi stated, drawing their attention to him. “Grisha pays the school, or these people at least. These weird sessions Eren went to cost money, but I don’t think it’s just that. There’s something I’m missing.” And that aggravated him. Why go to such lengths when it came to Eren? Whoever was in charge was using his father, but why wasn’t Grisha’s priority Eren? Did his son mean nothing to him?

Hanji groaned. “This is a mess! And to think that this was all happening while I was happily running my shop!”

It was truly difficult to accept that such a nice, quiet town like Shiganshina could hide such despicable people.

“Mikasa told me that they tried to kill Armin.” Eren’s face was twisted as he spoke. “I can’t believe they tried to murder him. Armin’s always…” He trailed off and swallowed, his face white.

“But they screwed up. Armin’s not dead and the police will catch the bastard who drove his car into Erwin’s,” Levi said. “They most likely thought they had to kill him because he found out the messages weren’t from you.”

Mikasa stood up and walked to the window, looking out of it. “I’ll never forgive them. And I won’t forgive your father,” she growled. “I won’t forgive any parent who sent their kid to that school. It has to close. They all need to be put in prison.”

“And how do we do that?” Hanji asked. “From what I know the school has been through several inspections and no one ever reported anything. Clearly there are a load of people involved. “

“They won’t just take our word for it,” Levi said and crossed his legs. “We’ll need evidence. Going to the school is too dangerous. We know they will kill us if they must. The only evidence we have is on Armin’s phone, but that won’t be enough. It just proves that it wasn’t Eren who was texting him and that whoever texted him knew the accident was going to happen.”

“Then what’s left? What are we supposed to do?” Hanji sighed.

“Eren, your dad… He must have something at your house,” Mikasa suddenly said and Eren looked up at her.

“W-what?” he stammered.

“Think about it. If he’s paying the school, going to all these conventions, then he must have some stuff at home.”

Eren sighed. “I don’t know. But, when he got home from work he usually was in his study. I thought he was working on some medical stuff or something.”

“Maybe he has some, I don’t know, papers or contracts in there,” she told him.

“Well, it’s not like we have any other leads,” Levi replied. “So we just need to get to the house and get whatever evidence we can that the school has been doing crazy shit and report it,” Levi summarised. “Sounds good to me.”

But apparently not to Eren. “If we report it, my father will be on trial too, won’t he?”

“Of course,” Levi replied. “He’s part of this.”

Eren shook his head. “I don’t want that. He’s my dad. He-”

“And? So what?!” Mikasa snapped. “Because of him you’ve been through hell these past few days! How can you even think to defend him now?”

“Because he’s my dad! He’s family!” Eren retorted and stood up. “There must be a reason why he’s doing this. They must be blackmailing him, or, or something!”

“He let you be practically tortured!” she replied, walking up to him, her beautiful face twisted.

“No, he wouldn’t… There must be something else,” Eren desperately tried to think of a reason. “He’s my dad. He loves me. I can’t- He wouldn’t-”

“But he did,” she said. “He abandoned you, Eren.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” he yelled and Hanji stood up.

“Alright, guys, maybe we should all rela-”

Mikasa laughed and shook her head. “I know what I’m talking about. I know how he treats you. Like an object. Always telling you what to do, how to behave. Or maybe not like an object, but like a pet.”

“Shut up!” Eren snarled and Hanji stepped in between them.

“We’re all on edge right now, but arguing isn’t going to make this any better. So both of you, calm down!” she said firmly and stared at the two of them.

Mikasa broke eye contact with Eren and walked to the door. “You’re right, I shouldn’t have shouted. But I meant what I said. And if you can’t see that, Eren, then maybe you’re truly brainwashed,” she said and left.

Levi held Eren back when he tried follow her, gripping his arm tightly. “Don’t. Let her go.”

“But-”

“Eren. Stop.”

With a huff Eren sat back down, twisting his arm out of Levi’s grasp. Hanji looked at Levi and adjusted her glasses. “I’ll go talk to her,” she told him and also left the room, closing the door.

“You think she’s right, don’t you?” Eren asked him once Hanji was out the door and Levi knew that if he told him the truth they would also start arguing.

“Finish your coffee,” he instead said and bent down to pick it up, handing it to him. “What I think doesn’t matter right now.”

“Of course it do-”

“No. It doesn’t. The last thing I want to do is argue with you,” Levi cut him off. “These past few days have been crap and I’m stressed out beyond belief, so stop. Do I think that you could’ve handled that better? Yes. You two are behaving like fucking teenagers. But I don’t want to fight. I don’t need that. I don’t even have the energy for it at the moment.”

Levi watched Eren take a sip from his coffee, grimacing because of taste. Or maybe because of Levi’s words. It didn’t matter.

Eren dipped his head back and finished the rest of his coffee in one go, then stood up and placed the cup on the small table on the other side of the room. “I want to take a shower,” he muttered and looked at Levi. “I stink.”

Levi couldn’t deny that, but they had all seen what had happened when Eren had been in the bathroom. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he questioned.

“I can’t go the rest of my life without showering,” Eren replied, playing with the sleeve of his shirt. “Maybe you can…help me? You don’t have to, I just- maybe I won’t freak out when you’re there. I don’t know. You really don’t have to-”

“Okay,” Levi agreed and Eren frowned. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah. I’ll help.” He wasn’t exactly sure how he was supposed to help, but if it meant Eren wouldn’t have another panic attack then he would do anything. “You smell awful.”

He had thought that Eren would get mad at him, but instead he laughed, and that was much better. It was good to know that even after everything that had happened, Eren could still laugh. It made the heavy feeling in Levi’s stomach dissolve and he even cracked a smile.

Maybe they’d be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for the support! Your comments mean a lot me!


	22. Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s funny that you always mention my past.”
> 
> “What? Why?”
> 
> “Because you never told me yours and yet you expect me to talk about mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the new chapter is up. By the way, I'm getting a new cat next week and I'm so excited!

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah. This is pretty stupid, isn’t it?”

Eren slowly started to rub the coconut shampoo into his hair, the red cuts on his hands disappearing under the lather. His eyes were closed as he rubbed it into his scalp.

When they had stepped into the shower, Eren had held onto him tightly and Levi had almost suggested postponing doing this, but he hadn’t. He knew how Eren was. He would only get upset if he said anything, so he didn’t.

“It’s not,” Levi disagreed and squeezed shampoo into his own hand before applying it to his hair.

The scent of coconuts filled the bathroom as they both cleaned themselves. When Levi rinsed the shampoo off he was careful not to let any water get on Eren’s face. That was more difficult than he thought it would be. The shower just barely fit two people, making the whole procedure quite uncomfortable.

“Thanks for helping,” Eren said, “and for, well, just being here. I’ve had a pretty bad week.”

Levi huffed a laugh. “That isn’t the word I’d use to describe it.”

“True. You’d probably say it was fucking awful, that it was the shittiest week in existence or just plain bullshit,” he listed and turned the water off.

Hearing Eren talk like this wasn’t as weird as it had been a few months ago, but it could still catch him off-guard. Gone was the goody two-shoes guy that always had a smile on his face. Sometimes, Levi wondered just how much of an influence he had had on Eren. Often it wasn’t clear to him if this was a part of Eren that he himself had simply repressed, or if he had picked that up from Levi.

“You might as well wash your mouth with soap too while you’re at it,” Levi replied and stepped out of the shower, hearing Eren snigger behind him.

Levi appreciated that about Eren. Most people he met took him too seriously and thought he always meant everything he said. They didn’t get him at all, or his sense of humour.

When Eren stepped out of the shower, Levi handed him a towel. “You didn’t faint, so I guess that it was alright then.”

“It was better. Although, if you hadn’t been there I think I would’ve freaked out again,” Eren admitted, which was such a rare occurrence that Levi knew he really wasn’t fine.

Eren started drying himself off and Levi did the same, unable to come up with a question that wouldn’t result in silence.

Hanji and Mikasa still weren’t back when walked out of the bathroom.

She was right. Levi knew that Mikasa’s words were the truth, but Eren wasn’t able to see that. His father was the only family that he had left. Seldom did he criticise him. He truly loved him unconditionally.

It was a frightening reality.

“I’m going to call Erwin,” Levi announced and took his phone. “Maybe Armin is awake now.”

“Alright,” Eren replied, unusually quiet.

When Levi looked at the screen he saw that he had a message from Hanji.

**Hanji: She’s not going to make up with Eren tonight. We’ll sleep in our room. I’ll give you your stuff later.**

Whatever. He honestly didn’t care about their fight. If it meant that he could spend the night with Eren he wouldn’t complain.

Levi sat down on the bed Mikasa had previously occupied and waited for Erwin to pick up. Meanwhile, Eren was rummaging through a large plastic bag.

“ _Levi? Did you find Eren?”_

Erwin, always straight to the point.

“I did. Is Armin awake yet?” he asked and heard his friend sigh. That probably meant no.

“ _I’m afraid not. The doctor said there’s no need to worry though,”_ Erwin told him.

Levi saw Eren looking at him hopefully and he shook his head.

“We’re going back to Shiganshina,” Levi said, hoping that this was the right decision. “While we’re not there you should stay with Armin. Don’t let him out of your sight. I have a feeling that these guys are just waiting for their chance to finish him off.”

“ _I wasn’t planning on leaving him alone,”_ Erwin replied. “ _It sounds like you have a plan.”_

It was a naïve plan, one that would most likely not go the way they wanted it to, but what other choice did they have? They didn’t have enough evidence to get the police involved. And as far as he knew these lunatics had lots of connections to important people. He honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they were already bribing the police.

Levi explained to Erwin what they were planning and he was kind of glad that he wasn’t here or he would have to see the frown on his face that was surely there.

It wasn’t a perfect plan. He didn’t have a clue how these people were going to react now that Eren was gone. They could just hope for the best.

“ _I agree that Eren’s father most likely possesses some documents that incriminate this organisation, if you can call it that,”_ Erwin said, “ _but acquiring them could prove to be difficult. If they’re smart they’ll know what you’ll do next.”_

“There’s nothing else we can do. We’ve seen what they’re capable of. They’re not fucking around. I’m done with them. I just want them all in prison and locked up.”

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Eren wrapping the worst of the cuts on his hands with bandages.

Yeah, if things went his way they wouldn’t ever see the light of day again.

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation and Levi stood up.

“I’m exhausted, so I’ll catch some sleep now,” he told Erwin, walked to the door and opened it. “Bye.”

Hanji was standing in front of him with his bag and raised an eyebrow.

“Who were you talking to?”

“Erwin. Armin isn’t up yet,” he told her and took his bag from her. “I feel like a teacher on a fucking school trip.”

“It’s not so bad. They’re just young and it was a touchy topic,” Hanji said and looked over Levi’s shoulder. “Eren? We decided that I’d bunk with Mikasa tonight.”

Levi turned around and watched as Eren nodded, drawing his knees up to his chest. “Okay.”

His reaction confirmed Levi’s suspicion that he indeed felt bad about his fight with Mikasa. And maybe that wasn’t as surprising as he thought it was. He didn’t know all that much about them as a unit. They had been friends for several years and cared about one another, so having an argument once in a while shouldn’t be a big deal.

However, Eren could be quite stubborn and – as Hanji had stated – selfish. Getting him to see a situation from a different viewpoint was hard. He reacted to difficult, tough situations with either anger or simply ignored them altogether. And so it was kind of a surprise that the way he had reacted left him filled with guilt.

Hanji walked into the room and took Mikasa’s belongings. “I’ll leave you two alone then. Don’t do anything naughty,” she laughed and Levi exhaled harshly.

“Just go,” he muttered, not in the mood for her futile attempts to cheer them up.

“Goodnight.” Hanji smiled and left.

Levi closed the door and walked back to the beds, the events of the day catching up to him as he flopped down onto his bed, groaning into the too soft pillow.

Nothing was ever easy. He had thought his reunion with Eren would be like in one of those shitty films; they’d latch onto each other, tell the other how much they had missed them and then one of them – Eren – would be crying and Levi would tell him everything was fine now.

That was not what had happened.

Instead, Eren had had a panic attack, Mikasa and him had got into a fight and right now were not on speaking terms and Levi had no clue what to say to him. He wondered why that was. Normally, they would easily start talking about some topic, but at the moment everything was...awkward.

Levi was itching to ask Eren about what had happened at the convention. It worried him that he was so quiet. That wasn’t like him at all. However, talking with Eren about these things was almost impossible. He’d just change the topic or decide not to answer.

“We should sleep,” Levi suddenly heard Eren mutter and turned his head to the left to look at him.

Maybe tomorrow Mikasa and Eren would be a bit more level-headed and ready to act like adults. One could dream, right?

Levi reached to his right and turned the lights off, sighing in relief when the harsh light was gone. The only illumination came from the moon, drowning the room in soft silver.

He was so exhausted that he didn’t bother pulling the blanket over him and just laid on his stomach with his head turned towards Eren. When his eyes had adjusted to the darkness he saw that Eren was also looking at him while lying on his side.

Suddenly, Levi realised that this was the first time they were spending a night together. It was really not the way he had imagined it to be. They weren’t lying in the same bed, weren’t having fun and were most definitely not spent from having just had sex. All in all, it was pretty shitty.

Levi closed his eyes. He might as well catch some sleep. Tomorrow they would drive back to Shiganshina were only trouble would await them, that he was sure of. Hopefully Erwin and Armin would be alright. But he couldn’t imagine anyone trying to harm them while they were in the hospital.

“Levi.”

He cracked one eye open and looked at Eren. “What is it?”

“What Mikasa said about my father… Do you think she’s right?” he asked quietly.

Of course he would ask again.

“I told you, what I think-”

“No. Listen, I’ve been thinking,” Eren replied and closed his eyes briefly. “I wasn’t that nice to her when she said it.”

“That’s the understatement of the year-”

“I get it, okay? Just shut up for a few seconds. I’m trying to tell you something here,” he cut him off. He took a deep breath before continuing. “I overreacted. I know that. Still, she could’ve phrased it differently,” he muttered.

But if she hadn’t then Eren wouldn’t have thought about it more. But that was just Levi’s opinion.

“Whatever. I- When I was in that room I had lots of time to think. Too much time, actually. I hate being locked up.”

Levi tried not to think about what that meant at the moment.

“But while I was in there I truly...disliked my dad. I couldn’t understand why he did what he did. I still don’t. I’m his son. He should be there for me and not put me in a position where I’m terrified to death,” Eren rambled, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. “And so I’ve been thinking, whether Mikasa is right or not. So what do you think?”

Levi sighed and also turned sideways. “I think you already know that, Eren.”

“Yeah, I do.”

They were both silent then, each simply staring at the other. Levi thought about how it must feel to be abandoned by one’s parent, the person one loved most. Eren’s love for his father was real and without it he would have surely lost hope a while ago.

And that made him wonder if his love was simply a necessity. Maybe he had simply needed to hold onto one thing in order to get through the hell that had been his life the last few years. Maybe the love he had for his father was his desperate attempt to receive some love himself.

Levi understood then that Eren was a very lonely person.

He had friends, yes, but when he had been a kid and a teenager he hadn’t been able to see them. Only Mikasa and as far as he recalled she had only come into Eren’s life a few years after he had already been sent to that hellhole. Until then he had only seen Armin in the summer for a few weeks. Eren never talked about anyone else from that time, so Levi surmised he hadn’t made any other friends.

The only other person Eren had been able to talk to freely had been his father.

“Do you resent me for loving him?”

Those words made Levi look at him again.

“Resent you? Why would I? It confuses me, but I would never resent you for it. I haven’t lived your life. I don’t know what you’ve been through and what kind of relationship you have with your father. But, you loving him isn’t something that’s bad. To me he seems like a dick, but I’m not his son, so my opinion shouldn’t automatically be yours. We’re just asking you to think about his actions objectively. That’s it.”

It was of course frustrating to see Eren still defending his dad, but Levi would accept it. He wouldn’t try to take the love for his father away from him. Eren could think for himself.

“It’s funny,” Eren said, “that you always mention my past.”

“What? Why?” Levi asked confused.

“Because you never told me yours and yet you expect me to talk about mine.”

Was that hypocritical? Levi simply didn’t see the need to talk about his life all that much. His past didn’t affect him any more. No, the only thing he had taken with him from his former life was Erwin. Everything else he had left behind.

“You lived here in Trost, didn’t you?” Eren was now clearly interested and Levi was already dreading his questions. If he didn’t talk now Eren would forever hold it against him. If he didn’t talk then he would lose the right to ask any questions of his own.

“Yes. Not in this part of the city though,” he answered. “Had a small flat for a while.”

“What kind of job did you have?”

“Worked in a sex shop. I told you that.”

It was too dark to make out whether Eren was blushing or not. Levi liked to think he was.

“Ah, yeah. So, why did you move away? You lived in a big city and suddenly you wanted to live in the middle of nowhere?” Eren chuckled. “That’s weird.”

“No one knows you there.” Only after a second did Levi realise he had said that out loud. His thoughts had already drifted back, back to when his life had been in chaos.

“Why didn’t you want anyone to know you? What, were you some kind of criminal? Were people after you?”

Eren was clearly joking, Levi knew that, but the words still made his heart beat faster and his head feel too hot.

“But Erwin came with you, so I guess that- Hey, Levi, are you alright?”

Levi let go of the pillow he had unknowingly clutched tightly.

“I didn’t mean that. Is everything-”

“I’m fine,” he said curtly while trying to get unwelcome thoughts out of his head. “I wasn’t a criminal.”

“I didn’t think you were.”

Eren’s voice was quiet and calm and Levi was debating whether to tell him or not. Erwin had always suggested he should talk about it, but it was too much. It was too much to handle, too much to even think about. He had had countless nights were he had stared at the ceiling, recalling the events, unable to stop reliving them.

“I had a girlfriend.”

“Okay, you had a girlfriend.”

Eren didn’t sound like he had any idea of what Levi was talking about and maybe it was a strange way to start this. But Levi had never been much of a storyteller.

“She was great. She was the kind of woman everyone liked. Kind of the opposite of me, actually. But whatever. Erwin set me up with her and we surprisingly got along. That doesn’t happen very often,” he continued and lay down on his back, unable to talk while looking at Eren.

“So yeah, we hit it off. She was working as an estate agent. She actually thought it was pretty funny I was working in a sex shop. Anyway, we were together for I think a year before we decided to move in together. Erwin was honestly surprised when I told him that. He was always confident I would never want to share a flat with someone else.”

Levi paused, trying to think of how he should continue. He could still back out of it now, just tell him he was too tired to continue talking or some bullshit. But oddly enough, now that he was talking he didn’t necessarily want to stop.

“The first few weeks were great. She knew I hated a mess and so she cleaned up after herself. We got along fine. Work went well and everything. I liked her. But it didn’t stay that way.”

“What happened?” Eren asked.

“We were watching a film in our flat. I didn’t care for it that much, but she wanted to watch it and I had nothing else to do. And you know, I don’t know why I said what I said. I have no idea what was going on in my mind. But in the middle of the film, right after these two characters fucked I told her I was bi.”

It didn’t take Eren long to understand what happened next. “She didn’t take it well, did she?”

“No. She fucking freaked out.”

Levi could still remember how she had jerked away from him, asking him if he thought it was funny to even suggest that.

“She started shouting and accusing me of cheating on her. I have no idea where she even got that idea from. I just told her I also find men attractive, that was it. But apparently in her warped mind it meant I was sleeping with a man behind her back or some shit. She was really not taking it well.”

“I guess you broke up then and you moved out.”

Levi smiled sadly, because that was what he should have done. It was what any sensible person would have done.

“No. We didn’t. I was trying to get her to see that me being bisexual was not a big thing, but she couldn’t get it through her thick skull. What actually happened was that she slapped me out of anger.”

He heard Eren take in a sharp breath. “She slapped you?”

“Yeah. She was sorry for it though. Said she hadn’t meant to do it. And I got that, you know. We all do stupid shit sometimes. After that she calmed down and said she’d think about what I’d said,” Levi explained and sighed. “And then everything went to shit.”

He recalled punching Eren and how sick it had made him feel. At times he was worried he’d do it again.

“What...happened?” Eren asked, sounding like he was almost afraid to speak.

“We started fighting more. Nothing I did was good enough for her. Whenever I fucked up she hit me, then apologised and told me she wouldn’t keep doing it if I just did things right. And you know what? I believed her. I was such an idiot,” Levi scoffed. “Sometimes people asked how I got that bruise or why I had a cut on my cheek. I told them some bullshit about falling off my bike. And they believed it. Erwin did, too. But, I think he was suspicious.”

Yeah, Erwin hadn’t made fun of him for suddenly being so clumsy like everyone else had.

“I didn’t tell anyone about what was happening. How could I? I thought it was my fault. And even if I had told them, who would’ve believed me? Everyone liked her.”

“What about Erwin? Wouldn’t he have-”

“Yes, probably. But I was a coward. I kept silent. And it nearly killed me.”

“Levi,” Eren interrupted him. “You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to. I didn’t think- I didn’t think it was something this bad. So if you want to stop-”

“No. I’m fine,” Levi replied and took a deep breath. “I need to get this off my chest anyway.”

He stared at the ceiling as he thought about how to continue.

“One fight escalated. I knew it would happen sooner or later. She punched me and I fell. I hit my head on the corner of the table and blacked out. Next thing I know is that I woke up in a hospital with Erwin sitting beside my bed. He had got worried when I hadn’t showed up at his flat so he had checked up on me. My girlfriend hadn’t been there when he found me.”

He would never forget how Erwin had looked at him back then. The guilt he had been feeling must have been suffocating.

“He told me he had been suspecting something was wrong, but he hadn’t found the guts to ask. I would’ve denied it anyway. It wasn’t his fault,” he said. “Erwin wanted to report it. I was against it at first, but he made me see that what she was doing was not okay. So, I agreed. However, I thought I’d talk with her first.”

For the first time since he had started talking Levi looked at Eren. He looked afraid and worried about what he would say next. His eyes were wide open and Levi once again vowed to himself that he’d never hit him again.

“I said I was going to report her, that I had had enough. At first she tried to make me feel sorry for her. She started crying, telling me that she felt terrible about what she had done. I wasn’t letting myself be manipulated again, though. It was then that she truly made me realise she was a despicable person.”

Levi could feel his heart beat strongly in his chest and his skin felt clammy.

“She said that if I reported her she’d tell them it was me that had been abusing her. She would tell them I had been hitting her and that no one would believe me if I tried to deny it. And you know what the worst part was? She was right. Because who would have believed me, a guy, that his girlfriend had been abusing him? Who would have believed the man who was working at a sex shop? No, they’d believe the woman who was a successful estate agent.”

It still made him feel sick to his stomach that she had gone that far. He hadn’t been able to get any justice for what she had done to him, physically and mentally.

“She said if necessary she would accuse me of raping her. In fact, she had told her friends – our friends – while I had been at the hospital that I had been abusing her. I didn’t stand a chance. I knew that if I got the law involved I would be the one who would be blamed. So, I didn’t say anything. I moved out, broke up with her and tried to forget about it all. But my other friends all thought that I was an abusive arsehole at this point. It was easily the worst time of my life.”

He remembered lying in bed all day after quitting his job, thinking about how this could’ve happened to him. Back then he had thought his life was all but over. The events had done so much harm to him that he had been unable to think about how to get out of that dark hole.

“Erwin suggested getting out of Trost and starting over in a place where no one knew me, where no one thought I was the person she made me out to be. And I said yes. I wanted to get out of there. It was a real surprise to me when Erwin said he’d come with me, but now that I think about it, it wasn’t. He’d also got sick of the people there. Moving to Shiganshina was honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. Even though now we’re kind of in the middle of some weird cult wanting vengeance or some shit. But hey, at least no one thinks I’m a fucking abusive dick.”

The story was over and Levi actually felt...rather good now. He had never told anyone about all this. He had rejected Erwin’s suggestion of going to therapy when he hadn’t got out of bed for a few days. Maybe talking to someone about your own problems really did help.

“That took longer than I thought it would to be honest. I’m surprised you didn’t fall asleep,” Levi joked and looked at Eren again. “You- Eren? Are you...crying?” he asked taken aback.

Eren was wiping away tears from his cheeks. “Fuck. I had no idea that you’ve been through something like this. That’s- Fucking hell, I really hate that bitch. How dare she do that to you. I don’t think I can even express how fucking mad I am right now.”

“You’re doing a pretty good job,” Levi replied. “But that’s all in the past now. You don’t have to be angry. I’m fine.”

“I’m still pissed off,” Eren muttered and huffed. “Fuck that bitch.”

Levi couldn’t help but laugh which was weird judging from Eren’s stare.

“Are you really okay?” he asked and Levi nodded, a smile still on his face.

“Yeah. It’s just… I guess I’m happy that you also hate her.”

“How could I not hate her?”

“I don’t know. Still, thanks.”

“For what?”

“Listening,” Levi said. “I feel better now. Maybe I can actually sleep tonight.”

He heard something rustling and was surprised when Eren suddenly stood beside him. “What-”

“Move,” he simply said and sat down at the edge of the bed. “I’m going to sleep in your bed and you can’t stop me.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Levi replied and Eren paused.

“Oh… Well, even better.”

When they were both lying next to each other, legs tangled together and a blanket covering them, Levi for the first time since leaving Trost was certain that he wouldn’t have any nightmares tonight. No, tonight he would sleep without any worries, without any thoughts disturbing his sleep.

And he hoped Eren would, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love comments, so please leave one! I love hearing your thoughts!


	23. Opening Old Wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Eren, I’m sorry,” he said, closing his eyes briefly before he got to work.

Jean was having a pretty awful week. No, a pretty awful month. One would think that after getting through one hell of a stressful semester at university he was allowed to catch a break, but apparently not. It made him wonder if he was just cursed with bad luck. That wouldn’t surprise him. So far his life had been one roller coaster after another and one wrong decision followed the next, so you couldn’t blame him for wanting his second year at university to start well.

Unsurprisingly, it hadn’t.

And so he had thought that maybe work wouldn’t be so bad.

It was.

Ever since that old man – and he was going to call him an old man, even though he looked only three years older than him – showed up in town and started working at Sawney and Bean’s things had got progressively worse. Quite an accomplishment, in his opinion.

It was no secret that Jean didn’t particularly like Levi. However, that dislike wasn’t because of the reasons most people would think.

Jean could deal with his grumpiness, his short answers and the glare that was waiting for him whenever he looked at the man. He’d had his fair share of encounters with arseholes and knew to not let that get to him. Some people would say he was one, too, after all.

No, what bothered Jean was the fact that Levi was just _weird_.

His obsessive cleaning – and let’s face it, it was – made Jean want to rip his hair out. It had got to the point where Jean had stopped trying and let Levi clean. He wasn’t going to please the man anyway, so he could do it himself. There was no way he was going to go through one of Levi’s outbursts again. That guy could be terrifying.

Next was Levi’s inability to be nice to the customers. Yes, Jean hated some of these guys, too, but he at least tried to be civil. He needed the money, after all. Levi, it seemed, didn’t give a crap about that. When he was in a bad mood he let it show. Hanji had talked to him about it, several times so far, but to nearly no effect. The customers didn’t complain, though. Maybe they were also scared of him.

But the weirdest thing about Levi was that he was friends with Eren.

The two couldn’t be more different. How could Levi even tolerate the guy? His constant good mood and Samaritan behaviour made Jean want to gag every time he saw him.

It was hard to believe that this was the guy who had broken his nose back in elementary school. Back then Eren had been nothing but trouble. Not that he had been any different, but Eren’s angry outbursts had been the stuff of legends. He could be nice and easy to talk to and the next minute be in a fight.

After he had changed schools Jean hadn’t seen him at all for a few years. No one had even known which school he had attended, but Armin must’ve known. He had never told him, but it must’ve been some boarding school. Not that Jean really cared.

And then Eren had suddenly been in town again, although Jean had doubted if it had been really him. It was like someone had replaced his entire personality.

It had been eerie.

Although Eren and he had never really seen eye to eye they had been friends in a sort of weird way. Sure, they had got into a lot of fights, but they had also played together. Seeing Eren so different had been a shock and Jean had once asked Armin if he didn’t think it was odd. To his knowledge they had kept in contact after he had switched schools. However, Armin had just shrugged and told him that he had just grown up.

And Jean hadn’t believed a word.

But he had accepted that this was just who Eren was now. It didn’t matter if he liked that or not. And he had expected Levi to feel the same way about Eren, that he was annoying, too happy, too cheerful. Now imagine his surprise when they had started talking.

Marco had told him he had seen them go out for some coffee, making Jean seriously question the man’s sanity. Who would voluntarily spend time with that dude? Well, except for those old ladies.

So yeah, that was why Jean didn’t get along with neither Eren nor Levi. He did like Armin though, which was why he was currently walking to the hospital.

Normally, he would be at work right now, but Hanji had sent him a text yesterday that she would close the shop for the next few days. That was weird on its own. However, Annie had texted him that she had only closed the shop after Levi had shown up at work and talked to Hanji in private.

Jean had no idea what that had been about, but a few free days would only do him good. Although, he was curious why Hanji had closed the shop.

The reason why Marco wasn’t with him at the moment was that he thought Armin shouldn’t have too many visitors at once. Jean was pretty sure Armin wasn’t even awake yet, but whatever. Marco could be surprisingly stubborn.

Now that he was thinking about him, Jean recalled their date two days ago. Well, it hadn’t really been a date, not officially anyway, but Jean liked to think of it that way. After Marco’s shift Jean had prepared dinner at their flat. And it hadn’t been just a regular one, oh no, he had gone all out.

Marco and him had been best friends for a few years now and Jean had had a slight crush on him for nearly just as many. Alright, maybe it was more of a huge crush. He liked to think that he hid it pretty well.

The problem with having a crush on Marco was that the guy could be the most oblivious person in existence. So far, Jean had tried to make it clear to him that he liked him five times, but it had always ended in failure. Either Marco just thought he was doing stuff for him as a friend, or his plans got ruined by some outside force.

The day before yesterday it had been the latter.

And the worst part of it was that Jean had been sure this time that Marco knew it had been a date. But of course something had to happen, the something being Hanji’s hysterical text about Armin being in the hospital. The built up romantic tension had dissolved and Marco and him had rushed to the hospital.

Jean was close to just giving up. Maybe it was God giving him a sign that this would never work out.

He entered the hospital and headed straight for the room Armin was in. Jean wondered if that Erwin guy was still there. It was unbelievable that Armin hadn’t told him he had a boyfriend! They were friends, weren’t they? Even Annie had known! Did Armin think he would have something against it?

Yeah, so Erwin was a bit older, but as long as Armin was happy he didn’t give a shit. Being left out kind of hurt, though…

When he arrived at the room, Armin’s grandpa was just walking out, appearing older than Jean remembered him looking. He perked up a bit when he saw him.

“Ah, Jean, I’m happy that you’re visiting him,” he said and smiled at him, although the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“Is he awake?” Jean asked, already guessing the answer, but it couldn’t hurt to at least ask.

Armin’s grandfather let out a sigh and sat down on the bench next to the door.

“I’m afraid not. The doctor’s said that he should today. Let’s hope he doesn’t keep us waiting for too long.”

“Is his bo- uh, is Erwin still here?”

Jean didn’t know if Armin’s grandfather knew about their relationship, so he might as well not mention it.

“I had to force him out of the room. He’s also hurt, but will hear nothing about it,” he replied. “He’s quite worried about him. I told him that the accident wasn’t his fault.” He looked to his left. “I suspect he’s in the bathroom.”

Erwin had been here the entire time? Jean was honestly surprised to hear that. He would’ve thought he’d leave. As far as he knew he was free to go. Not that he was complaining, no. He was glad that someone had stayed with Armin, even though he was still asleep.

“Seems like Armin will be getting a lot of visits today. I didn’t expect you all to visit so often,” his grandpa mused and Jean frowned.

“What do you mean? Was Annie here already?” That wouldn’t surprise him. Her and Armin had always got along, even though she was hard to talk to.

“No, but one of your other friends from university. I’m afraid I don’t know him. His name is Joseph, I believe. He’s in there with Armin right now.”

Joseph? Jean didn’t know a Joseph. All of a sudden a heavy feeling settled in his stomach.

“Oh really?” he said. “I hope he won’t mind me also being here.”

There was no reason for him to freak out Armin’s grandfather by saying he didn’t know the guy. Maybe there was nothing to worry about.

When Jean opened the door and walked inside he saw a blond, short haired guy bent over Armin’s bed. He quickly took the guy’s wrist and pulled him away, much to the surprise of the other.

“Who are you?” Jean asked, voice cold while his heart was racing. His eyes focused on the person’s left hand and saw that he was holding something. “What are you doing here?”

Jean was pushed back forcefully and lost his grip on the guy, barely managing to keep his footing. When he ran out the door he quickly followed, wondering what the hell was going on, but knowing that this guy did not have good intentions. He wasn’t there to simply visit Armin.

“Stop!” Jean shouted as ran, the hallway in this section of the hospital practically deserted and he ran round the corner, crying out when he was hit in the face, but he managed to grab onto the tall blond.

He tried to hit him, but soon realised that he was out of his league here. The other guy was stronger and faster and Jean struggled not to lose his grip on him. However, when he was kneed in the gut he went down on his knees, grimacing as he wrapped his arms around himself. The wind had been knocked out of him and he needed a few seconds to recover.

When he could stand up again the guy was long gone and he cursed.

What had that even been about? Who was that guy and what had he wanted to do to Armin?

Jean let out a heavy sigh, knowing that right now he had no way of finding out. Dammit. He wished Marco had been there. He’d always been faster than him.

He took a step forward and paused when he heard something crack under his foot. As it turned out he had stepped on a syringe. Could that guy have dropped it during the fight? Jean remembered him holding something.

The barrel had a crack in it now and Jean frowned when he noticed that there was no liquid in it. It didn’t seem like it had been used either; the plunger was pulled all the way out.

Jean took it with him as he walked back to Armin’s room where Erwin was now standing in front of the door, animately talking with Armin’s grandfather. He turned his attention towards him though when he saw him.

Armin’s boyfriend looked like shit, and Jean only noticed that he had said that out loud when Erwin raised an eyebrow. Alright. Not a good start.

“What happened? Mr. Arlert told me that you ran after one of Armin’s...friends,” he said.

“No way in hell was that Armin’s friend. I didn’t know the guy at all,” Jean scoffed and showed Erwin the syringe. “He had that with him. No idea what he wanted to do with it, though. There’s nothing in it. I think I stopped him from whatever he was going to do. He didn’t use it.”

Erwin took the syringe and Jean watched as his expression darkened.

“There’s nothing in it? There’s air inside,” he told him and Jean saw him swallowing.

Then he realised what he meant.

“So he was going to...”

“Pump air into his veins, yes. He was trying to kill him.”

What the hell? Why would anyone try to kill Armin? Jean gaped at Erwin, trying to process just what he had stopped from happening.

“It’s them.”

Both Erwin and him looked at Armin’s grandfather when he spoke those words accompanied by a pain-filled sigh. The old man was staring at the floor, his face cast in a shadow by the hat he was wearing.

“I had my doubts about my grandson’s accident. It was so similar. Someone crashed into your car, drove away quickly and the police never found them,” he muttered. “I thought it was a coincidence, but after what just occurred… It can’t be.”

He lifted his head and looked at them, his eyes reflecting the sadness he felt. “I should never have let that man inside Armin’s room. I didn’t know him, but I don’t always remember all of Armin’s friends. Still, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, sir, it is mine alone,” Erwin cut him short. “I should never have left the room in the first place. I was supposed to look out-”

“Geez, can you all stop with the self-loathing? It’s no one’s fault. That bastard must’ve waited for Erwin to leave in the first place,” Jean remarked and crossed his arms. “What did you mean it was ‘them’?” he asked.

“I don’t know if you know this, but Armin’s parents died in a car crash,” the man said and Jean saw Erwin nod. “They never found the person who did it. They said it had to have been a drunk driver. It was night and that was a possibility, but I never believed it. You see, my daughter had got into trouble with some people.”

He sighed again.

“She and her husband were good friends with Eren’s mother, Carla. She died one year before Armin’s parents did.”

“I remember. Eren’s mother broke her neck when she fell down the stairs, right?” Jean said. He recalled being at the funeral with his own mother, thinking how strange it was that stuff like this just happened, how someone’s family could so easily be torn apart. Eren had been there with his dad, but he hadn’t cried. He had stared at the casket, expressionless.

“No, that’s not the truth. Armin’s parents knew that there was something wrong. They knew that that was not what had happened. And they found out the truth.”

He looked at them, his eyebrows furrowed as his expression darkened.

“Carla Jaeger was murdered.”

 

* * *

 

 

What was Eren saying? He couldn’t understand a word. It sounded like he was underwater and there was a ringing in his ears. What-

“Levi! We have to go!” he suddenly heard Eren shout and his hand was gripped and he was pulled out of the front passenger seat. It took him another moment to remember where he was and why they had to run.

Hanji was running with Mikasa in front of them and Levi looked over his shoulder, seeing two men running after them. Fuck. How had they found them? It was impossible.

They ran through another alleyway and Levi recognised the area.

“Follow me!” he shouted, although he was still a bit unsure on his feet.

He led them through the streets, recalling all the time he had spent here in his youth. If Erwin were here he’d also recognise the building to their left, the pub they had often gone to and had got absolutely pissed.

They continued running and Levi knew that they were losing the men. They didn’t know this city as well as he did. Even when he could no longer hear them he still went on. If they caught them it was over. They would kill them.

“How- how did they know?” Hanji asked, gasping and holding her side while sweat ran down her face. “How did they find us?”

“I don’t know!” Levi wiped the sweat off his forehead, trying to figure out how they had given themselves away.

Mikasa was by Eren’s side, their fight forgotten as she asked him if he was okay.

“How the fuck did they know?” Levi whispered. They didn’t know Hanji’s car, hell, they didn’t even know she was involved in this. And Mikasa and Eren had ditched the car they had stolen in another town. There was no way they had somehow bugged his phone, so how-

And then it hit him.

“Eren,” he turned to his right and looked at him. “You said that Grisha always knows where you are.”

The younger man hesitated before speaking. “Yeah. But, that’s just what-”

“No, Eren. We established that all this talk of demons and special powers is bullshit,” he replied and walked over to him. “I don’t think it’s just your dad who knows where you are.”

“So you’re saying he’s wearing something which they track?” Mikasa said, glancing at Eren.

“But I don’t wear anything special,” Eren told him, looking down at himself. “And I don’t carry anything always with me. I don’t know how they’d know where I am.”

But they did know. Grisha always knew, so how? He’d known when Eren had been at their house. And Eren had even said that he knew. And if it wasn’t the clothes he was wearing, if it wasn’t anything he had with him, then that only left one option.

“Hanji, there’s a pharmacy round the corner there.” He reached into his pocket and gave her his wallet. “Buy disinfectant and bandages. We might need to stitch it up, too.”

Hanji immediately knew what he was talking about and went off to the pharmacy.

“What are you talking about?” Eren asked and Levi looked at Mikasa, who was playing with the hem of her shirt. It seemed like she knew what was going to happen, too.

“They put a tracker in you, Eren. They implanted one somewhere and we need to cut it out,” he said to him, seeing his eyes flying wide open.

“What? No, I should know whether they did that or not, shouldn’t I?” Eren denied and backed away, rubbing the back of his neck. “Where would that thing even be?!”

Levi stepped closer. “I think you know exactly where it could be, seeing as you are touching the spot. You told me you don’t recall where you got the scar from when I was at your house, remember?”

Eren’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “...yeah, I remember. So you think that-”

“That your dad let them plant that inside of you? Yes, I do,” he replied. “And we need to get it out.”

Hanji came back with all the stuff they needed and Levi led them to an abandoned building. Homeless people and stoners would often come here, but only at night.

While they were walking Eren kept rubbing his neck and Levi knew that he wasn’t looking forward to this. Neither was he. He didn’t know where the tracker exactly was, how deep and in what position. He could only hope that there was one in him.

“Alright, let’s get this over with.”

Levi took out the jackknife he always carried with him, ignoring the raised eyebrow from Mikasa and looked at Eren. “I’m not going to lie. This is going to hurt. Probably a lot, but if they always know where you are-”

“Then we have no chance,” Eren finished his sentence and sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. “I hope you’re not wrong about this.”

Levi made him kneel down in front of an old chair and told him to press his forehead down on it.

“Mikasa, can you hold him down? He shouldn’t move.”

She nodded, not even fighting against what was going to happen. She stroked over Eren’s head, telling him it was going to be fine.

Hanji was not looking too happy about this as she kept watch, making sure they could escape quickly if someone decided to show up.

“Alright,” Levi said and looked at Eren’s scar. He didn’t want to do this, but he had to. One clean cut and he might already be looking at the damned tracker. Then Hanji would disinfect the wound again and stitch it up.

He took the disinfectant and splashed it over the blade of the knife. When he brushed Eren’s hair away he was glad that he couldn’t see his face. It would be easier that way.

Mikasa was staring at him, her hand on Eren’s head, her jaw set as she waited for him to begin. Levi put the tip of the blade against Eren’s skin and saw his muscles immediately tense up. Alright, one cut and then it would be over. With his other hand he grabbed a cloth to wipe the blood away.

“Eren, I’m sorry,” he said, closing his eyes briefly before he got to work.

He made the first cut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh geez this update took so long. Exams were over and everything, but then my sister was in the hospital and I seriously didn't feel like writing. Sorry. But! Now I'm back at it! Thanks for being patient if you're still reading!  
> Also, this chapter is shorter because it's an interlude before the last arc of the story.


	24. Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How do you feel?”
> 
> “Honestly? Like shit.”

“I told you to hold him down!”

“I’m trying!” Mikasa grunted, sternly looking down at Eren whose head had reflexively shot up to protect his neck.

Levi grimaced as he saw blood beginning to seep from the wound – the too shallow wound. He’d tried to be careful, but in reality he just hadn’t had the guts to cut deeper. And now he would have to do it again.

“Eren, I’ll need to make another cut,” he told him, trying to keep any emotion out of his voice. Showing how anxious he was wasn’t going to help anyone.

Eren was holding the legs of the chair tightly despite his injured hands while hissing because of the sharp pain he must be feeling. However, he wasn’t complaining. Sometimes Levi forgot that the kid had some real guts.

When his knife sank into Eren’s flesh again, Mikasa put more force onto his head this time and Levi didn’t have to stop, instead making a clean cut, hoping that he’d find something. He heard Eren groan and was grateful that he had no idea what his neck looked like right now. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

“Alright,” he said and wiped blood away with the cloth, swallowing thickly as he got a clearer look at the wound. Yeah, he’d need some stitches.

Levi tried to ignore the noises Eren made when he began to properly look at the wound, occasionally pulling at it to get a clearer view. What did this tracker even look like? He had no idea. He didn’t even know how big this damn thing was.

“Do you see anything?” Mikasa asked, her hands still holding Eren’s head. Her expression was unreadable, but there was no doubt that if he didn’t find anything, she would kill him.

“I’ve been looking for one second. Give me some fucking time,” he replied and clenched his teeth.

He continued searching and doubt started to settle into his mind. What if he had been wrong? What if there actually wasn’t a tracker in his neck? What if it was somewhere else or if there wasn’t even one to begin with?

No, he couldn’t think like that. There had to be one here.

More and more seconds ticked by and Levi started to sweat. He couldn’t find anything. And worse, the longer he searched the more pain Eren was in. He had already told Mikasa that he felt like he was going to vomit any second.

“Levi, is there anything in there?!” Mikasa asked again, now glaring at him.

He didn’t reply and instead pulled at the edges of the wound, wiping some more blood away. It had to be here or they were done for. If they couldn’t figure out how these people knew where they were then they could throw in the towel.

So where was it?

And then Levi stopped when he saw something in Eren’s flesh that had no place being there.

“Yeah.” He sighed and quietly thanked the heavens. “I found it.”

It looked like glass and although he couldn’t see the whole thing, it couldn’t be larger than a centimetre. Its shape appeared to be that of a pill.

“It’s pretty deep in there. I don’t want to cut it out. I’m no surgeon, so I don’t know how deep I can-”

“Here, I also bought a forceps,” Hanji interrupted and gave it to him after disinfecting it. “Thought it might come in handy.”

“Thank you,” Levi breathed, genuinely thankful. He squeezed Eren’s shoulder with one hand.

“I’m going to get that thing out now and then Hanji will stitch you up, alright?”

Eren took a deep breath before he answered.

“Yeah, I- just do it.”

Under Mikasa’s watchful gaze Levi grabbed the tracker with the forceps and carefully pulled it out. He sighed in relief when he had the damn thing in his hand and wiped more blood away.

“Got it.”

Hanji took his place and started stitching him up while Mikasa ran her fingers through Eren’s hair, telling him that it was over now.

Levi walked to the window, making sure now one would catch them by surprise. He looked at the tiny tracker. The outer shell was transparent, presumably glass, and after he wiped the blood from it he saw some kind of electric chip inside.

Eren had told him that he had got that scar when he had been a child. These people had been watching his every move for years, but for what reason? Why were they tracking him?

He frowned and looked at Hanji who was talking to Eren while making the stitches. From here he could see that Eren’s eyes were shut tight and Levi closed his fist around the device when he saw tear tracks on one cheek.

While Hanji was busy tending to Eren’s wound, Levi continued being on the lookout.

If he ever saw Grisha again he’d break every bone in his body. How could a parent do this to their child? Grisha had let these people plant a tracker in his son, had sent him to a school where they had brainwashed him and had let him be locked up in a room.

Levi didn’t care that Eren still supposedly loved his father. To him he was nothing more than a despicable abusive bastard. He couldn’t stand people who took advantage of others’ love for them.

“This should do it,” he heard Hanji say and she stretched her back.

“You probably shouldn’t move your head too much, although that goes without saying. I’m no medical expert, so when it’s possible you should go to a doctor.”

Eren groaned when he stood up, his face red from exhaustion and the hair on his forehead was sticking to his skin.

“At least this thing is out. I can’t believe that they were tracking me,” he replied and looked at Mikasa who was smiling slightly, a rare sight.

“We should move,” Levi said. “And I should destroy this piece of shit.”

He glared at the tracker and let it fall to the ground with the intention of stepping on it when Hanji cried out.

“No! Levi, this is the perfect opportunity!” she shrieked and quickly picked the tracker up, grinning as she looked at it. “We have the advantage now.”

“What are you talking about?” Levi asked confused.

“I can’t believe you’re that dense. Instead of destroying the tracker we should use it. That way they will cluelessly follow whatever we attach this baby onto,” she explained.

_Baby?_

“And we can safely get to Eren’s house,” Mikasa finished and crossed her arms. “That will buy us more time and we won’t have to worry about getting any more surprises.”

As much as Levi just wanted to get rid of the thing that had caused Eren so much pain, he had to agree that this was a far better plan.

“Good, then let’s get the hell out of here and put this thing on whatever we can find,” he said while he was already walking to the side entrance.

Together they made their way towards a busier street while making sure no one was following them. Levi regularly glanced at Eren and more often than not he was looking back at him. Ever since he had opened up to him about his past, Levi felt different about him. He didn’t know what it exactly was, but the last day had changed something.

Levi suddenly stopped walking when he saw a woman getting out of her car. She locked the doors, but one window was slightly open and he got an idea.

“Let’s put the tracker in there,” he suggested and pointed at the vehicle. “She’s not from here, look at the license plate. She probably stopped to get some supplies or something.” He looked at the supermarket a few metres away. “They’ll follow her while we’re going to Shiganshina.”

“We can’t do that!” Eren immediately objected. “They crashed into our car. They’ll do the same to her!”

“Your point?” Levi challenged him and was met with a fierce glare.

“I’m not going to let someone be put into danger just to safe our hide!” he argued, clenching one of his hands into a fist.

Hanji put a hand on Eren’s shoulder and he looked at her.

“That’s...not such a bad idea.”

“Wait, you want to go along with this?” Eren asked shocked. “She’ll be in danger.”

“So would we otherwise. Let’s suppose we destroy the tracker. They know that we will go to Shiganshina then or at least pass it to get to Stohess. Armin’s still in the hospital. If we don’t destroy it they won’t assume anything and blindly follow.”

Eren worried his lower lip, glancing at Mikasa who wasn’t saying anything.

“What if we just...give it to some cat?”

Levi snorted and raised an eyebrow. “Should we stick it on with some tape then and pray it doesn’t get removed when the cat crawls around in a tree or something? They’d find the cat in no time. It will fall asleep somewhere and then they’ll know what we did. Eren, this is the right thing to do.”

“Right? What if they kill her? She has nothing to do with this!” he still argued, although he seemed to be unsure.

“There’s a chance she’ll be fine,” Hanji said to him and sighed. “Look, I’m also not happy about this, but we should worry about us first. Besides, if we don’t hurry, she’ll come back.”

Levi rubbed the bridge of his nose with one finger. They couldn’t stay around and argue about this. He quickly flicked the tracker into the car, ignoring Eren’s shout and glared at him.

“If you don’t shut up they’ll find us regardless of whether you have a tracker in you or not. You’re my priority and I honestly don’t give a shit about what happens to some random stranger, got it? Don’t worry about others and instead start worrying about how we’ll get out of this deep shit that we’re in.”

Eren looked away from him and didn’t reply, but Levi wasn’t too concerned about that. Sometimes the truth hurt.

They quickly walked away with Eren and Mikasa behind Hanji and Levi. Now that they had taken care of one problem they could concentrate on the other one. How the hell were they going to get to Shiganshina now? Hanji’s car was a wreck and taking public transport would take ages.

The only thing Levi could think of was stealing a car. He didn’t really like that option, but it sure as hell beat getting caught here in this damn city.

Suddenly, loud music erupted from his right and Levi turned towards Hanji who fished her phone out of her pocket.

“You didn’t put it on silent? Seriously?” he asked incredulously. “What if you got a call while we were being tailed by those freaks?!”

“Uh, whoops?” Hanji scratched the back of her head, looking at him sheepishly.

Levi sometimes felt like he was surrounded by idiots.

With nothing else to say to him she took the call and Levi could only shake his head in disbelief. He heard Eren and Mikasa talking about Armin and his thoughts turned to Erwin. Hopefully things were alright back there. But he couldn’t imagine anyone trying to harm Armin while he was constantly guarded by Erwin. That man could be quite intimidating.

“You’re here?! I told you not to come! Geez, I can’t- Yes, I know you were worried. Yes, I get it. No, I’m fine,” Hanji exclaimed. “Okay, okay. We’ll walk to the train station and meet you there. Bye.”

She hung up and sighed before she pushed her glasses up.

“Funny thing. Moblit’s here.”

“Moblit?” Mikasa inquired and Eren was also looking at Hanji confused.

“My partner in crime,” she grinned.

Levi rolled his eyes.

“Her boyfriend.”

“Ah.” Eren paused, processing the information “Okay, so, why is he here? Did you tell him to come?”

“He decided he needed to come because apparently I’m a danger to myself,” she said mockingly and Levi nodded.

“A wise man.”

His comment was ignored by Hanji.

“I kind of told him Levi and I were in Trost and well, now he’s here and he has no idea in what kind of situation we’re in.”

Levi hadn’t even wanted to involve Hanji in this and now Moblit had also shown up. The more people got involved the more dangerous this would become. He could only hope that the organisation had no idea who Hanji and Moblit were if they crossed them.

“At least we have a ride now,” he said, trying to make the most out of the situation.

On their way to the train station Levi walked next to Mikasa when Eren asked Hanji one question too many and was now trapped in a lengthy conversation.

Eren’s friend – not girlfriend, thank god – occasionally glanced down at him and Levi got the impression she wanted to say something to him, but he never looked back, pointedly ignoring her.

Maybe he would be nicer to her if she hadn’t harassed Eren. It was her own fault. She had pretended to be his girlfriend. Then again, she had actually believed that, hadn’t she? To her credit, she had busted Eren out of that creepy room where the convention had taken place. Still, he didn’t like her. It was only because of Eren that he hadn’t told her what he thought of her to her face. She should be grateful that he was only ignoring her.

He was watching Eren walk in front of him and looked at the bandage that stuck out under the colllar of his shirt. He could only hope that they hadn’t caught the woman yet. They needed time to get to Eren’s house and grab whatever evidence they could get their hands on.

Their whole plan was a gamble in regards to the evidence. Levi was positive that it had to exist and that it had to be at Eren’s house, but it was a gamble in regards to actually being able to get it. They had no idea if the house would be empty. Levi hoped that no one knew that this was their plan. If they surprised them at the house that was it. They’d get killed.

And it was strange to think about that. These people were actually trying to kill them. They had tried to kill Armin and had nearly succeeded. How had he ended up in such a mess?

“He’s completely smitten with you. I hope you know that,” Mikasa suddenly said, her eyes also on Eren.

Why would she suddenly bring that up?

“So if you hurt him, I will kill you. I mean it.”

Levi raised both brows at that. He was pretty sure he could take her in a fight.

“It won’t come to that,” he replied confidently. “Why are you telling me this? I thought you were going to tell me to stay away from him.”

He heard her sigh.

“I wanted to tell you that, but I won’t. He’s happy when you’re there, you know. Eren’s usually in a bad mood. But I can see how much you mean to him when he looks at you.”

She was staring straight ahead while talking and Levi saw how tense she was. It must hurt, knowing that Eren had no romantic interest in her whatsoever. Levi didn’t really care, but acknowledged that it must be difficult to admit it and gained a bit more respect for her.

“When Eren told me you were together I wasn’t even aware that he liked men. I feel like I don’t even know him anymore. Or maybe I never did,” she continued. “The same goes for Armin. I mean, I knew that he was bi, but I had no idea he was in a relationship. I haven’t seen him in forever.”

“You should go see him,” Levi told her and she looked at him for the first time since they had started this conversation. “He might be awake now. It also wouldn’t hurt to have one more bodyguard. Eren insinuated that you’re pretty tough.”

That caused her to roll her eyes, but he saw that she was trying not to smile.

“Eren got into a lot of trouble back at school. I just made sure no one picked on him. Kids can be cruel.”

Huh. So Eren had been bullied? Levi hadn’t thought that he had been a bullying victim.

“Why did they pick on him?” he asked.

Mikasa brushed back a lock of black hair behind her ear. “When I arrived at the school he was the first person I heard about from other students. He was kind of famous, but for the wrong reasons. All the other kids called him a monster.”

“What?”

That rang a bell. He’d heard that word before. Hadn’t Eren said that he was a monster?

“I didn’t know Eren yet, but I told them they should stop calling him that. However, they said that it was justified, because the teachers gave him that name.”

She paused, looking at Eren again, who was still talking to Hanji and oblivious to their conversation.

“They hated Eren, called him all sorts of cruel names no matter what he did, and no one did anything against it. Eren tried to get them to like him. He studied hard, was always motivated in class and didn’t backtalk, but nothing changed.”

The more Mikasa said the more Levi could hear the anger in her voice.

“After a while he just gave up. When we became friends he was still fighting back against bullies, but later on he just let them talk. I know that those words hurt him, even though he tried not to let it show.”

“And you don’t know why the teachers hated him?” Levi asked.

“No. I asked Eren about it once and he said that it had always been like this. Back then he actually thought it was because he was the most tainted student. It was such bullshit. I’m really glad he doesn’t believe all the crap they taught us anymore.”

How could teachers be so cruel towards one of their students? Levi had got a lot of crap back in his school days, but he had actually deserved it. Mikasa made it sound like Eren had actually tried to be a good student. So why the cruelty? Did it have something to do with his father?

“I had no idea you were interested in that stuff!” Hanji’s loud voice cut through the momentary silence. “When this is over you should definitely go to university. You’d love it there. I can guarantee it!”

“You think so? I mean, I did apply...” Eren replied, a slight blush staining his cheeks.

“Yup! Just make sure not to get overwhelmed by exams like Jean. He’s always so stressed out,” she laughed and suddenly looked away from Eren, spotting something in the distance.

“Ah, that’s Moblit!” she said and waved. “Now, how should I tell him about all that’s happened...”

Levi had no idea she would do it. All he knew was that this was her fault and she was going to deal with it. Making Moblit get caught up in this mess was awful, but at least he would get to see the guy. He was kind of curious what person would voluntarily date Hanji.

When they had made it to the car a brown-haired man greeted them. Hanji hugged him enthusiastically and he laughed before looking at Levi and the others.

“You must be Levi. So, uh, I was thinking about going to a café or something, but...who are you?” he asked, staring at Eren and Mikasa. His eyes widened.

“Woah, are you alright? Your hands are bandaged and- Hanji, what the hell were you doing here?”

She sheepishly smiled and glanced at Levi for help, but he only stared at her.

“Moblit, I think there’s something I need to tell you...”

 

* * *

 

“How do you feel?”

“Honestly? Like shit.”

Armin sighed and looked up at them with tired eyes. Even though he felt like shit, Jean was just glad he was awake. Only hearing him talk made his shoulders feel lighter.

It had been about an hour since he had woken up and they had only been allowed to see him now after the doctors and nurse had made sure he was alright.

“I’m sorry I made you worry, grandpa,” Armin said quietly and Jean saw Mr. Arlert smile.

“Don’t be. I’m glad that you’re alright now. Mr. Smith was here the entire time to watch over you.”

“He was?”

Erwin looked away from Armin and cleared his throat. “I was...very concerned,” he muttered before looking at him again. “I wanted to apologise for not looking out enough for you, but I’ve been told that would be a very idiotic thing to do.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t your fault that some jackass crashed into your car,” Jean commented.

The corners of Armin’s mouth twitched upwards before his eyes suddenly widened.

“Wait. W-what about Eren? Is he alright?!” he asked alarmed, moving to sit up but Erwin put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“He’s not at the convention anymore. He’s with Levi, Hanji and Mikasa in Trost. They should be on their way back,” he explained. “He’s alright.”

Armin nodded and bit his bottom lip. “Grandpa, some stuff has been happening and-”

“I know, Armin. Mr. Smith told me everything,” he replied and sighed. “I’ve had my suspicions that odd things were occurring.”

“Wait, what? Why?” Armin asked and Jean leaned against the wall.

“Since your surgery...some stuff has been happening. A few hours ago someone paid you a visit. He had a syringe with him. I stopped him before anything could happen. We think that-”

“He was trying to kill me,” Armin finished and closed his eyes.

Jean had no idea what it must be like to know people wanted you dead. After Erwin’s explanation he at least knew what was going on – well, kind of – but to think that these people were actually going this far… It was scary.

All this stuff had been happening without him noticing a thing. Here he had been worried about his exams and how he was going to woo Marco when others had been trying to dismantle some weird cult.

And now he knew the reason why Eren had changed so much. All his hatred had been completely unjustified. What was left was compassion. He wanted to help him.

Jean was starting to feel guilty for all the times he had given him shit while unbeknownst to him Eren had gone through so much. If he was being honest, he hadn’t really hated him. Mostly he had felt disappointed, betrayed even. His childhood friend had changed into someone he hadn’t recognised. But now he knew that the real Eren was still in there.

“Jean, do you realise that you’re in danger now?” Erwin suddenly said to him and Jean looked up.

“Huh? Why?”

“They most likely know what you look like now. Maybe they even know who you are.”

Well, fuck. Jean wasn’t really planning on dying so young.

“So be it,” he said and crossed his arms, feigning indifference. “At least I know what the hell is going on.”

Armin turned his head towards Erwin, his eyebrows furrowed. “What is Eren doing now?”

“They’re heading to his house. We’re confident that Grisha has evidence of the terrible things the school has been doing,” he told him. “And while they are doing that we will stay here.”

“Erwin, come on. I need to help them!”

“You just woke up and are bedridden. Let them handle this,” Erwin said firmly and Armin huffed.

“I know that you want to go help them, too.”

“I do, but you are my priority. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Jean wished that Marco would look at him like Erwin looked at Armin. God, when had he become so sappy? This crush was getting out of control.

“Armin.”

When his grandfather spoke Armin broke eye contact with Erwin and looked at him.

“I told them about what happened to your parents, and Carla.”

Jean stared at Armin who grimaced. He had had no idea that Armin knew about those things.

“Why did you never tell me?” Erwin asked confused.

“How would I even start that conversation? Hey Erwin, did you know my parents were murdered? Oh yeah, and Eren’s mum, too, but he has no idea,” Armin replied grumpily. “It didn’t matter. Well, now it does, but it didn’t back then.”

“It didn’t matter? People have been getting murdered in this town. If they killed your parents and Eren’s mother then I’m sure those weren’t their only victims.”

Erwin pinched the bridge of his nose as he exhaled.

“One thing is still a mystery to me. Why did they even target you? Levi and I looked through your messages – yes, I’m sorry, we had to – and you figured out that it wasn’t Eren who was texting you, but it sounded like they had targeted you even before that. But why?”

Jean was still not entirely sure if he understood what was going on. He had got the gist of it and yet nothing really made sense to him. However, it seemed like Erwin was also struggling with the information at hand, so Jean didn’t feel like he was just too stupid to get it.

Armin frowned and glanced at his grandfather, looking guiltily at him.

“Actually… I might have done some stupid things,” he muttered.

“What do you mean?” his grandpa asked and leaned forward in his seat.

“Well, I couldn’t not start investigating. Ever since I found out my parents were murdered I had to do something!” Armin said. “I…went to the school without telling anyone. But before you all freak out, I was careful! I was only trying to see if I could get my hands on some stuff to lay their criminal activities bare!” he tried to justify himself.

“Armin-”

“No, grandpa, I couldn’t just do nothing! They murdered them!”

Erwin put a hand on his shoulder again. “Lower your voice,” he said sternly. “It sounds like you weren’t careful enough. They found out.”

Armin opened his mouth, but closed it again before sighing. “I know.”

“Okay, wait, let me get this straight,” Jean interrupted. “So, Eren went to this weird school, right? And the people there are totally fucked up and brainwashed him into believing some made-up shit. The weirdos murdered Eren’s mum and your parents and now want to basically get rid of all of us because… Well, because you are trying to help Eren, right?”

When he looked around he saw them all nod and frowned.

“Why though? I mean, why is Eren so important to them anyway? I don’t get it. To them he should just be another student, shouldn’t he?”

“Actually,” Erwin spoke, “I’ve also been wondering about that. Why go through all that trouble? When Levi and I were at Eren’s former school we found out that Grisha pays what must be ludicrous fees for these sessions Eren undergoes, but something tells me it’s not only about the money.”

“It can’t be,” Armin replied and leaned back into his bed, clearly exhausted.

“If Eren’s father has to pay them lots of money regularly, so much that he can’t even pay Eren, then he could simply choose not to waste his money on them and his problems would go away. I can’t imagine that he’s paying them because he wants Eren to use their services.”

Jean raised an eyebrow as Armin talked. Eren didn’t get paid? He had always thought he must have loads of money. He and his father lived in such a big house and he couldn’t imagine that Grisha didn’t make a lot of money as the only doctor in Shiganshina.

“Wait, so that means they must be blackmailing him,” he pointed out, nodding to himself.

That would make sense, wouldn’t it? Grisha had no choice but to pay them.

“That’s also what I’m thinking,” Armin said and yawned, “but then the question is...with what are they blackmailing him?”

Everyone was quiet as they thought about various possibilities, but Jean simply had no idea. Hell, he had only been a part of this whole thing for about two hours. He didn’t know that much about Grisha or Eren. He’d never bothered to really talk to him.

“It seems like we are stuck,” Armin’s grandfather remarked and stood up. “Armin, you should sleep now. All this stress isn’t good for you.”

Armin didn’t try to argue as his eyes were already threatening to close. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Then we should go and let you sleep.”

“Wait, Mr. Arlert,” Erwin spoke up and looked at him. “You shouldn’t go home on your own. It’s too dangerous. Jean, can you go with him?”

“Huh? Uh, sure,” he replied.

With that they said only goodbye to Erwin, because Armin had already fallen asleep again. It was weird how Jean immediately felt himself tense up as they walked further away from the others. Knowing that there were people out there ready to kill him if they had to was going to make him feel paranoid.

When they arrived at Armin’s grandfather’s house in Shiganshina, Jean told him to make sure he wouldn’t open the door to anyone he didn’t know and to close all the windows. Jean was worried that something would happen to him, but as far as he knew these cult people had had Armin on their radar for a while now and had refrained from harming his grandfather, so maybe he shouldn’t be too concerned.

He said goodbye and quickly walked to the bus station. While he waited for the bus he thought about if he should tell Marco about all this. Would that put him in danger? But he also didn’t want him to be out of the loop while Jean was busy trying to find a way he could help the others.

The bus to Stohess arrived and when Jean took a seat he realised that he should have been more worried about himself than about Armin’s grandfather. Especially when a man took a seat next to him and told him not to move and not to draw any attention to himself.

Jean really wished Marco had come with him to the hospital after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always appreciated!


	25. The Last Get-Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Be safe."

Being stuck between Mikasa and Eren in the back of the car wasn’t how Levi had wanted to spend their journey back to Shiganshina. Despite his latest civil conversation with the girl, she didn’t appear to be all too pleased about their seating arrangement either, glaring daggers at him whenever she suspected him to move closer to Eren. In his defence, who wouldn’t want to move away from her when she sported that ugly look on her face?

Hanji was still more or less arguing with Moblit, who – bless his heart – was willing to drive them to their destination, even though he knew in what kind of situation they were in. They didn’t tell him all the details. Levi had no intention of giving him more information than he needed and Hanji was most likely trying to not make him worry too much about her.

That wasn’t going so well.

“And you didn’t even consider telling me? This has apparently been going on for several months!” Moblit replied while he passed another car and shifted gears.

Hanji let out a sigh and Levi saw her lean back into her seat.

“I wasn’t even involved at the beginning. Things kind of escalated and like I told you, these people are dangerous. I didn’t want to endanger you.”

“You should have told me. No matter the risk, I want to be there for you, alright? You know how worried I get about you.”

“Oh Moblit! I love you too!” she exclaimed with a smile and threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly as Moblit tried to keep a firm grip on the wheel.

“Hanji, I need to-”

“I promise that there will be no more secrets!”

“I need to drive!”

“Oi, let go off him. We’re not going to crash again because of your stupid antics!” Levi said while he reached forward and pulled her away from their driver rather forcefully. “Get a hold of yourself, geez.”

Hanji only laughed heartily and looked back at him, ignoring Moblit muttering something under his breath.

“Levi, if you were in love with someone you’d know that that wasn’t stupid. There are moments when I just have to hug or kiss him. He’s an angel.”

Levi quirked an eyebrow at that and glanced at Moblit who was staring straight ahead at the road, but Levi was sure that he was seeing a blush creeping up his neck.

He remained silent, not taking her bait to talk about whatever she had in mind. Not with Eren right next to him.

Talking of Eren, throughout their thirty minute ride he had been quiet, choosing to look out of the window rather than joining any conversation. Even right now he was watching the other cars through half-hooded eyes, almost looking bored, but by now Levi could recognise the nervous ticks he had. Eren was absent-mindedly worrying his lower lip, a habit that Erwin had too and one that Levi detested.

A quick glance told him that no blood was seeping through the bandages on Eren’s hands. Last night they had looked alright, not infected or anything. Still, some cuts were too deep for his liking and a doctor inspecting them would ease Levi’s mind, but alas, that was impossible at the moment.

However, Levi could see that the bandage on Eren’s neck wasn’t that white anymore and would need to be changed later. He hoped it didn’t hurt as much as it had before.

“You’re staring.”

Eren’s head didn’t move as he spoke, eyes still trained on the car next to them.

“Am I not allowed to?” Levi asked. “You’re the best view here.”

Mikasa’s displeased grunt was ignored by both of them.

One corner of Eren’s lips twitched and he tilted his head more towards him, his eyes opening a bit more.

“Oh? Then your standards must not be very high.”

Instead of the flirty reply Levi had expected Eren’s reply sounded bitter. He frowned and hesitantly put his right hand on Eren’s thigh.

“What’s wrong?”

Eren glanced at his hand and then sighed, turning his head away again.

“Everything,” he muttered. “I mean, we’re driving to my house to get dirt on people who have been brainwashing me since childhood. They also tried to kill us and guess what, my dad is also involved with them. That’s what’s wrong.”

Eren briefly closed his eyes and pulled on the skin of his lips again. “I have no idea what will happen from here on out. So what if we get the evidence? I doubt they’ll convict everyone. There are so many people involved. What will happen to all the students? Or their parents? They knew what was going on at the school,” he continued. “And what will happen to my father?”

“I don’t know.”

“Thought so,” he muttered, shifting in his seat and Levi pulled his hand away.

What was he supposed to say? That his father would be fine? No, that would be a lie. Grisha wouldn’t get out of this. He’d get convicted like everyone else.

And honestly, Levi didn’t care about what happened to him.

“Does it still hurt?” he asked Eren to change the subject for both of their sakes.

“My neck? Yeah, it stings. It’s not that awful, though. You don’t need to feel bad about getting the tracker out, you know.”

Levi frowned when Eren said this, looking at him again.

“What-”

“I know you feel bad about it. Just like you felt bad about punching me. But it’s fine. I’m not angry at you. You had to do it,” Eren told him.

“Yeah, I had to take out the tracker, but I didn’t need to mess up the first cut. And punching you was unnecessary.”

But Eren only shrugged.

“So you messed up, and? I’ve been messing up my whole life. What you’ve done for me far outweighs the few mistakes you’ve made,” he said, his lips stretching into a kind smile. “I really don’t care, Levi. Stop making yourself feel guilty.”

Instead of replying Levi paused for a moment, Eren’s words repeating in his mind. Should he stop feeling guilty? Technically, messing up the first cut wasn’t his fault alone. However, he had punched Eren without any good reason other than being frustrated with him. He’d let his emotions get the better of him. And Eren had paid the price.

It scared him, the thought that maybe one day he’d turn out like his ex, hurting Eren because he was annoying him, or because he didn’t do as he told him. What if he made Eren feel like he had back then?

“Levi.”

Eren’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked at him, seeing the young man giving him another soft smile.

“I forgive you. I really do.”

Those words caused his shoulders to feel a bit lighter and the knot in his stomach to dissipate.

“It’s concerning how well you know me,” Levi said, then crossed his arms and looked away from him.

Eren didn’t reply, but Levi was certain he was still smiling.

Here he was, soothing Levi’s worries when he was the one who needed help. It wasn’t fair on him that Levi was useless in such situations. He never knew what to say to make things look better than they really were. And wouldn’t it be unfair on Eren to give him false hope?

They remained silent after their conversation, their hands brushing against each other as they listened in on Hanji’s conversation with Moblit. As he drove and looked at the busy street he occasionally nodded, seeming to be used to Hanji’s frequent torrent of words.

Mikasa was also quiet. She hadn’t said a lot since they had started their journey back to Shiganshina, instead choosing to mostly look out of the window like Eren had done before.

More time passed and when Levi took out his phone to look at the time his eyes widened, seeing that he had several missed calls from Erwin. Shit, he had put his phone on silent before leaving the hotel.

He quickly called him back, aware that both Mikasa and Eren were looking at him now.

“ _Levi? What took you so long to pick up your damn phone?”_

It wasn’t every day that Erwin was this irritated and Levi was already prepared for the worst.

“We had a bit of a situation going on. They crashed into our car, tried to take us out and we found a tracker under Eren’s skin,” he said, effectively silencing Erwin for a few seconds.

“ _...it seems like things aren’t turning out too well on your end either.”_

Levi sat up straighter and now Hanji was also glancing back at him.

“What do you mean? What happened?”

“ _Someone was here to take out Armin once and for all. Luckily, Jean was here and stopped him, but failed to catch him and he managed to leave.”_

Levi rubbed the bridge of his nose, struggling to understand how this could have happened.

“But you were at the hospital. What- And Jean?”

Erwin let out a sigh on the other end and Eren gave him a questioning look, nudging his side with his elbow.

“ _I wasn’t there. I left to go to the bathroom. Mr. Arlert thought that the man was one of Armin’s friends and let him in.”_

“And I suppose that’s when Jean arrived?” Levi asked.

“ _Correct. He followed, but lost sight of him.”_

Eren nudged him again and Levi glanced at him, putting some distance between the phone and his ear.

“What?”

“Who is this? And what about Jean?” Eren inquired. “Is this about Armin?”

Levi nodded and put his phone to his ear again.

“Erwin, can I put you on speaker? Right now Hanji, Moblit, Mikasa, Eren and me are in a car on our way back. Moblit was worried about Hanji and picked us up.”

“ _Moblit?”_ Erwin repeated, clearly surprised, then regained his composure. _“Yes, of course you can.”_

Levi held his phone in his lap and pushed a button, soon hearing Erwin talk again.

“ _Is it working?”_

“It is,” Eren said and frowned. “You both were talking about Armin, correct? Is he okay?”

“ _There’s no need to worry. He’s alright, thanks to Jean. Someone tried to inject air into his veins, but Jean stopped him.”_

Eren paused before speaking again.

“That’s… I’m glad he’s okay. Mr. Smith, I’m sorry that all this happened. If I hadn’t involved all of you then-”

“ _I’ll stop you right there. It was our decision to help you. We couldn’t simply look away. There’s nothing you could have done to stop us from trying to help, Eren. And whatever is going to happen is not your fault,”_ Erwin replied and Eren nodded, not realising he couldn’t see him.

“Okay,” he said quietly.

“Actually,” Moblit suddenly interjected, “I didn’t really ask to be a part of this.”

“ _Ah, yes. But your help is greatly appreciated. Besides, if you had known about all this before I’m sure you would have volunteered to help out,”_ Erwin said and Moblit sighed.

“You’re right.”

Levi had the impression that the two already knew each other. Maybe Hanji had introduced them.

“Don’t let Armin out of your sight,” Mikasa muttered, her arms crossed as she stared out of the window.

“ _I won’t,”_ he assured her. _“I promise.”_

Levi looked at Eren, who was biting his lip again and had a crease between his eyebrows. His gaze was drawn to his neck once again.

They could only hope that those people were following that woman and that they hadn’t caught her yet. Every second they gained on them counted.

“Mr. Smith,” Eren started and was promptly cut off.

“ _Just call me Erwin. Please.”_

“What, do you feel old when he calls you that?” Levi said dryly.

“ _Remind me again why we’re friends?”_ Erwin muttered, followed by a sigh.

“Erwin,” Eren tried again, “could we talk to Armin?”

There was a pause before Erwin replied.

“ _I’m afraid he’s asleep right now.”_

“Ah, okay.”

The disappointment Eren was feeling clearly rung out as he spoke.

“ _I’m sorry. But, is there anything you want me to tell him?”_ Erwin asked him.

“Just...tell him that I’m alright. And that when this is over we can go on vacation together like he wanted,” Eren said and looked over at Mikasa. “And you?”

She tapped her index finger against her knee. “Tell him I’ll join them. I’ve never been on vacation anyway.”

“Really? You will?” Eren asked surprised. “I thought you didn’t want to.”

She shrugged. “I changed my mind. Besides, it’s not like I can leave you two alone to yourselves. Who knows in what kind of trouble you’d get.”

Eren smiled at her and she glanced away, playing with the hem of her shirt.

“ _I will tell him. He’ll be happy to hear of your plans,”_ Erwin said to them and Levi could almost hear the smile he surely had on his face.

“Guys, we’re nearly there,” Hanji interrupted them and Levi focused on the road again, seeing the town in the distance.

Next to him Eren was bobbing his knee up and down. Funnily enough, Levi wasn’t nervous at all. No, all he felt was determination. Those bastards would pay for what they had done. He was not going to let them get away with what they had put Eren through.

If it was up to him they would get put in prison and never see the light of day again.

Suddenly, an odd sound was coming from Levi’s phone and he frowned.

“Erwin? What’s that in the background?” he asked.

“ _That’s Armin’s phone. Let me check it.”_

It was silent on his end for a few seconds.

“ _He’s getting a call...from Eren,”_ Erwin said and Levi heard Eren gasp beside him.

“Wait. Does that mean that-”

“Yeah, someone from the school is calling him. Or maybe your father,” Levi replied.

“ _I’ll take the call,”_ Erwin decided.

Hanji inhaled sharply. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“ _It will be fine. I’ll call you back shortly.”_

“Hold on, at least keep-”

But Erwin had already ended the call, making Hanji roll her eyes and huff in frustration.

“God, he’s always so quick to act!”

Moblit glanced at his girlfriend equal parts confused and worried, prompting her to explain what was going on.

Levi was also frustrated by Erwin’s actions, but he trusted him. He knew what he was doing. Well, hopefully.

But why were these people calling Armin? They knew he was currently in the hospital. Or had they actually wanted to talk to Erwin? For what reason?

“Do you think it’s my dad calling him?” Eren asked him quietly, looking so miserable that Levi wanted to comfort him, but he didn’t know how.

“I don’t know,” he said. “We’ll see.”

They were all on edge as they waited for Erwin to call and for the first time in a while no one was talking. Levi saw Mikasa tapping her finger against her knee, the only sign of her tension.

It took Erwin nearly three agonising minutes to call back, the loud noise making Eren jump next to him and Levi quickly took the call, putting him on loudspeaker. But before he could even ask what was going on Erwin was already talking.

“ _They want Eren,”_ Erwin sighed, _“in exchange for Jean.”_

“Exchange? They can’t possibly-”

“ _They took him hostage. Damn. I shouldn’t have let him leave with Mr. Arlert,”_ he cursed himself and Levi heard a squeaking noise, like a chair being pushed.

This was getting more complicated by the second. How had they even taken him?

“It doesn’t matter. We are not going to hand over Eren,” Levi said firmly, Mikasa nodding in agreement.

Eren was frowning and glancing at him.

“But Jean-”

“Don’t even fucking start, Eren. We just put a lot of effort into getting you out of that situation and I’ll be damned if I let that go to waste. No, we are not giving them what they want,” Levi growled, fed up with how this was spinning out of his control.

“ _They said to bring him to the Shiganshina Cleansing Institute. They’re giving us two hours.”_

Moblit took a turn to the left and spoke up.

“Uhm, wouldn’t now be a really good time to call the police?” he asked.

“No. With everything that has been going on we have to assume part of the police is in on this. They haven’t even caught the bastard who crashed into Erwin’s car,” Hanji replied and crossed her arms. “And without their help I doubt they’d be able to cover up everything that has happened at the school.”

“ _What are we going to do? If we don’t comply they will harm Jean,”_ Erwin said and Levi nearly scoffed at his words. Harm him? They would kill him.

“We need to get Jean out of there,” Mikasa decided, drawing all attention to her.

Eren leaned forward to get a better look at her, the crease between his eyebrows deepening.

“But how are we going to do that? I mean, maybe we could stage an exchange and-”

“No, you’re not going to go near that school,” she told him coldly. “You’ll go to your house. That’s the most important thing. If we can uncover all the shit they were pulling then it’s over for them. The rest of us should get Jean out of there.”

“ _I...agree. If Eren manages to find the documents before the two hours are up we can blackmail them into giving us Jean. We could avoid any potential danger that way.”_

Levi was all for avoiding any more casualties. A hostage exchange meant that they were getting desperate, but it also meant that they had figured out the tracker was no longer in Eren. A quick glance at said person confirmed that he was also aware that woman was most likely dead.

Yeah, no more casualties.

“I’ll go with Eren,” Levi decided and no one spoke out against him. “We will call you when we have what we need.”

“Sounds good to me,” Hanji agreed while Moblit nodded.

“ _I’m sorry that I can’t be of more help, but I won’t leave Armin alone,”_ Erwin told them.

“Thank you for watching out for him,” Eren said, fiddling with the bandages on his hands. “And thank you for helping me. I…I don’t think I can thank you all ever enough for that.”

“Don’t get all sappy now, it’s not even over yet,” Levi chastised him, although his voice was soft.

“ _If anything happens call me. I’ll leave you to it then.”_

The call ended and Levi pocketed his phone again, his mind racing as he thought about how to solve this mess. It all depended on them now.

The group was silent again, except Eren who started directing Moblit to his house. They would park a good distance away from it just in case. The others would continue on to the school, waiting nearby. If all went according to plan they could get Jean out of there without too much trouble.

The car stopped and all eyes were on Levi and Eren. The latter’s face was looking a bit white and his hands were shaking as he unfastened his seatbelt.

“As soon as you have the documents call us,” Hanji reminded them unnecessarily. “Send us pictures so we can show them they’re the real deal.”

“Got it,” Eren said weakly and Levi was starting to wonder if he really was up to the task.

“Be safe,” Mikasa told him, her eyes searching for his and Eren gave her a small smile.

“I’ll be fine. And hey, when this is over we can go on vacation,” he tried to cheer her up, but his shaky appearance wasn’t that assuring.

But she nodded and opened her mouth, looking like she wanted to say something. However, she closed it again.

“Let’s go,” Levi said and Eren opened the door, stepping out of the car. Levi was ready to follow, but Hanji suddenly grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Be careful, alright? They found out that the tracker was a distraction. Maybe there’s someone in the house. Maybe his father is in there,” she muttered, her eyes narrowing behind her slightly askew glasses. “And if he tries anything-”

“Trust me, I won’t show him any mercy if he tries some shit,” Levi replied, staring into her eyes.

She nodded and weakened her grip on him.

“Jean’s life is on the line, so be quick.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll get your worst employee out of this mess,” he scoffed and with that he left, closing the door behind him.

Eren was waiting for him, looking like a right mess with his bandages and hunched form.

“Ready to get these fucks into prison?” he asked him and Eren exhaled soundly before nodding.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all didn't mind that this chapter was mostly talking, but I had to get this out of the way before we reach the climax. That said, Levi and Eren will try to find the incriminating documents next chapter. Will shit hit the fan? Most likely.
> 
> A big thanks to everyone who leaves comments! Without all of you I don't think this story would have ever got this far. Thank you so much! ❤


	26. Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's a good man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if anyone cares, but I always imagined this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HfCV4IFtUg) as the theme song for Eren in this fic. I also listened to it on repeat for the last part of this chapter.

The lock opened as Eren slowly turned the key he had taken from under a stone in his garden. Levi didn’t want to spend much time thinking about how often someone could have easily broken into Eren’s house like this and so instead concentrated on the task at hand again.

Without a sound Eren pushed against the door and stepped inside the house, his hand still on handle of the door while he made sure no one was waiting for them. After a few seconds he walked further inside and Levi followed, closing the door behind him with a soft click.

No lights were on, the only light source being the rays of light coming through the windows. The wood under his feet creaked as Levi took a few more steps, looking to his left into the kitchen which was also empty. Eren had turned right and was presumably checking if the living room was also deserted.

Levi knew that it would be hard for just the two of them to check every room. The house was large and while they were walking around someone could also be here without them noticing. As long as they were here they would have to constantly be on their guard.

He tried not to make any unnecessary sounds as he searched through the cutlery and took out two large knifes, both clearly meant to cut big chunks of meat.

When Levi approached Eren, who was just walking out of the living room, he handed him the knife, not missing how the young man immediately took it with a firm grip, his knuckles even whitening.

Eren’s nerves were clearly shot at the moment and Levi hoped that they could quickly gather what they needed and be done with this. Maybe he’d take a vacation, too. It was doubtful that Hanji would open the bakery again right after they had put these fuckers into prison.

“The study is upstairs,” Eren whispered and Levi gave short nod before he let Eren lead the way.

The wooden stairs creaked under their weight, the sound appearing to be impossibly loud compared to the silence that had surrounded them.

It was weird, but Levi was reminded of the time Erwin and him had been to a college party. Everyone had been passed out drunk at some point except for them. Erwin had an unnaturally high alcohol tolerance that Levi blamed on his German roots and he himself had never been that much of a drinker. Naturally, that had led to them quietly walking around the dark house full of passed out college students, markers in hand as they drew obscene things on their faces.

In retrospect it had been incredibly childish, but back then the two of them, drunk as they had been, had deemed it to be hilarious. And the aftermath of everyone walking around with genitals smeared onto their faces the next day had been pretty amusing.

The memory faded away as Eren and him reached the top of the stairs. Eren pointed to his left and began walking again while Levi looked to his right in the direction of Eren’s room, making sure they were alone.

When they reached the room no one was inside. A large wooden desk took up most of the space in the rather quaint room, made only smaller by a bookshelf covering most of the eastern wall.

“I’ve never been in here,” Eren told him as he stepped inside. “I wasn’t allowed to.”

“That means there’s something here you weren’t supposed to see,” Levi replied as he stood by the doorway.

It would take ages to search the whole bookshelf, Levi thought to himself and a quick glance at Eren told him that he had also realised it and was instead starting to search the desk after he had put his knife down. Levi’s gaze wandered to the hallway again where he still didn’t see anyone.

So far there had been no sign of another person being here, but he wouldn’t let his guard down. There was too much at stake.

After a minute he looked at Eren again who was standing in front of the large desk and had what appeared to be small pieces of paper in his hands. He wasn’t moving, instead staring at whatever he had found.

“Did you find something?” Levi asked and Eren seemed to snap out of his thoughts.

“Yeah. I mean, no. Not really. Just...he had these in his drawer.”

He turned towards him and showed him the pieces of paper which were actually parts of photographs. A dark-haired woman could be seen on them, her smile taking up most of her face as she looked into the camera.

“Is that your mother?” Levi said, finding the resemblance between him and the woman striking.

“Yes. I had almost forgotten what she looked like,” Eren admitted, his voice soft. “Dad must have cut these parts off from the photos downstairs. I always wondered why he did that, but I think I understand now.”

Eren brushed over the glossy surface with his thumb.

“Looking at her smiling face every day… I think it would have been hard on him.”

Levi recalled seeing incomplete pictures on the fridge in the kitchen. To him it was weird to cut her out of them, but then again, he had never been married. It wasn’t his place to judge.

“Eren… We still need to search for the documents,” he said quietly, feeling like a jerk for doing so, but they were on a mission.

“Ah, right.” Eren let out a sigh and put the pictures in the pockets of his jeans. “Sorry. I got distracted.

“Don’t apologise. It’s fine. I just thought I should remind you.”

Levi watched as Eren walked back to the desk, looking through the drawers. If there was nothing here then they would have to search the entire house. And that would take time, time Jean didn’t have. And the longer they took, the more likely it was someone would get here.

“Wait, I’ve got something,” Eren suddenly said after he had opened another drawer and walked over to Levi.

He was holding a small black notebook, its edges looking worn. There was nothing written on its cover.

Eren opened it and Levi hoped against all odds that this was it, that they could take this thing and leave, but as he looked at what was written inside he realised nothing could ever be that simple.

“What the hell,” he murmured as he scanned the pages Eren had turned to. The pages were covered with letters written in black ink, the handwriting as awful as it could get. Maybe it was true that doctors couldn’t write for shit.

Eren turned to another page, then another. The whole book was filled out, the handwriting becoming even worse the further he got.

“Oh my God,” Eren whispered, his face looking white as a sheet.

“Can you read it? Because I have no idea what’s written in here,” Levi said and saw him nod.

“Yeah. He…he’s apologising, over and over. Here.” He pointed to the beginning of what Levi presumed to be a paragraph.

“Father, please forgive me. I’ve done everything you wanted, but I fear it will never be enough. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Forgive me. And it goes on like that.”

That was rather concerning. What was Eren’s father apologising for?

“The book looks pretty worn out. Doesn’t surprise me. There’s no free space left anywhere,” Levi commented.

“That’s not the only one. The entire drawer is full of them,” Eren replied with a shaky voice. “Do you think...that all of them are like this?”

Levi didn’t reply and instead walked over to the desk, grabbing another identical book from the open drawer. After quickly scanning through it he sighed, picking up another and repeating the process.

_Damn._

“Yeah. It’s the same shit everywhere.”

Eren simply nodded in acknowledgement.

As concerning as those books were, they shouldn’t let themselves be distracted right now. It wasn’t just their lives that were on the line anymore.

Levi closed the drawer after stuffing the books back inside and continued searching. The other drawers were empty, which meant that they would need to go through the entire bookshelf.

Eren had already begun doing exactly that, taking out different books and magazines in hope of finding anything that could be of use. Together they meticulously spent the next five minutes scanning the covers of books, opening them in hopes of coming across hidden pages, but there was nothing here.

“I think we’re in the wrong place,” Eren said, voicing exactly what Levi had been thinking for the past minutes.

He stood on his tiptoes to grab another book from the top of the bookshelf, grunting as he just managed to reach it. “If there’s nothing here we’ve got one hell of a fucking problem,” Levi murmured and scanned the title of the thick book, frowning when he noticed there was something stuck inside it.

_Now what do we have here?_

With a smirk he pulled out a key that was fastened onto a piece of string and held it towards Eren.

“Seems like there was something here after all.”

The surprised look on Eren’s face quickly morphed into one of relief.

“Thank God. I was really starting to worry.”

“So, we’ve got a strange key, but what is it for?” Levi asked him and eyed the heavy key. “It looks too big to be for some shit like a make-up kit.”

“Maybe it’s for a door,” Eren replied. “My dad keeps the basement locked.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “Now that doesn’t sound suspicious at all.”

“Let’s just go,” Eren said with a sigh and grabbed his knife again before he led the way.

There was still no one in sight and Levi hadn’t heard anything suspicious. Maybe they truly were alone. Their pursuers probably thought they wanted to get away and not go back to Shiganshina. If that was the case they could be in luck.

Once they were downstairs Eren led him down a hallway he hadn’t been to before and stopped in front of a quite heavy looking old door.

“That’s the basement,” he told him and pushed down the door handle, but the door didn’t open. Just like he had said, it was locked.

Levi handed him the key, glancing to his left to make sure no one was there. He heard a soft click when Eren turned the key and when he pushed the handle down again the door swung open inwards. The squeaking noise of the action made Levi cringe and he tightened his grip on the knife for a second.

Instead of going downstairs Eren hesitated, not moving as he looked at Levi, the messy hair hanging into his worried eyes.

“My dad isn’t a bad person,” he said unexpectedly. “Whatever is down there, I want you to know he’s a good man.”

“Eren-”

“No, let me talk.”

He took a deep breath and stared into Levi’s eyes, his thick eyebrows drawn together.

“My dad has always looked out for me. After mum died… Do you think it was easy to raise a kid by yourself while having a job that was so time-consuming? He did what he had to. I’m not saying that everything he did was good, but he tried his best. He was always there for me,” Eren told him, not once glancing away from him.

“Whenever I came home for summer break he was happy to see me. We spent all the time we had together and I know he loves me. Even when I messed up he was there for me. So it doesn’t matter what’s-”

His breath caught in his throat and he closed his eyes, turning away from Levi as he pointed down at whatever lay ahead of them in the basement.

“It doesn’t fucking matter to me what’s down there. We saw in the notebooks…we saw that he’s sorry for whatever he’s done. He filled out every single page. I don’t care about whatever sins he has committed, because God forgives all. And I will also forgive him. I may not forget it, but I will forgive him for it.”

Eren took another shaky breath before looking at him again.

“And I know that you won’t. I know that you hate what he’s done, just like Mikasa, just like everyone else. But I don’t care. And I don’t care if that’s wrong, because it’s right to me.”

Eren was right, Levi couldn’t understand it. It was simply beyond him how someone who had gone through hell because of his father’s decisions could still love the man with such fervour.

And yet, there was nothing he could do about it. No matter what he said, Eren would never give in, he’d never give up on his love for his father. But maybe that was okay. And maybe it wasn’t. Levi had no idea. All he knew was that for Eren’s sake he hoped they would not come across anything truly horrible down in the basement.

“Let’s go,” Levi said and pushed the light switch on the wall.

Eren didn’t seem upset that he hadn’t responded to what he had said and began to go down the stairs, the knife in his right hand shining as the light reflected off it.

Levi didn’t know what he had expected to find. A macabre side of him had played with the possibility of finding corpses. It wouldn’t have been logical, but he’d gone through so much shit lately that nothing could truly surprise him anymore.

But nothing of the sort was waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs.

It looked like an ordinary basement you’d find in any house. Boxes filled with junk were lying around, labelled with black marker. A lot of them were stuffed full with old books, but Levi saw the occasional toy protruding from one of them.

However, usually basements weren’t as clean as this one was, which led Levi to believe Grisha spent a lot of time down here doing god knows what.

Eren was taking purposeful steps towards a lone desk that stood in the corner of the large room. A lamp was sitting on it and a pile of what appeared to be files was threatening to fall off the edge.

Levi walked up to Eren as he picked up the first file and he could see the paper slightly shaking as Eren began reading.

“What is it?” Levi asked him and it took Eren a few seconds to reply, his eyes still on the paper.

“These are...the medical records of a teenager,” he said. “This girl...she’s dead. There’s a death certificate. My father filled it out,” he continued and he turned the page. “She went to my school.”

After those words Levi picked up another file, this one about a young boy. His status was also deceased and just like the girl he had been to the Shiganshina Cleansing Institute.

“What does it say about the cause of death?” he asked Eren.

“Car accident.”

“Mine fell out of a window.”

They continued going through the files and Levi was beginning to feel nauseous. So far they had looked at ten files, ten dead children. How was this even possible? Every child had gone to the same school and all of them had died accidentally?

“I know her,” Eren suddenly said and handed Levi another file. “I even talked to her once. She suddenly disappeared. I thought she had maybe transferred to another school, but apparently she died. You know how? A car accident. It’s kind of funny how so many of them died like this without even being allowed to leave the school property.”

Levi felt like there was something he was forgetting. As he looked at the photo of the girl he tried to remember why this all reminded him of something. There was no doubt in his mind that these documents were false. These kids didn’t all die because of some freak accidents. No. Maybe they had all...wanted to die.

And then he recalled what he had heard that fateful night. A child had committed suicide and no one had cared. The people he had eavesdropped on must have been from the school.

Levi began looking through the files again, searching for the times of death. And there it was, the file of a boy, no older than thirteen, who had died one day before he had heard that conversation.

“Eren, I think you know why your father has these files,” Levi said and it took all his willpower to not simply rip them apart, every faked one of them.

It looked like Eren did know, judging from the way his eyes were averting his gaze and how tightly he was clutching the knife in his hand.

“These kids...they killed themselves, didn’t they?” he replied quietly. “No one ever told us. I had no idea.”

Levi saw his jaw set and when their eyes met again there was fire in Eren’s eyes, but they were shining with unshed tears.

“So all these students just committed suicide and no one cared. They made my father fake the cause of their death. How could no one care? What about their parents? Did they just believe it? Did no one try to find out what actually happened?” Eren’s voice broke again and Levi wished that they hadn’t come back, that they had instead left Shiganshina and just started a new life somewhere else, like before.

Seeing Eren go through so much pain in such a short amount of time was starting to be too much.

“Were all these kids unloved?” Eren asked him. “Were they all sent to that godawful school because their parents simply didn’t care about them? And what about the teachers? Were they all just trying to make brainwashed marionettes for their cause? Why did no one give a shit about us?!”

His voice was too loud, but Levi didn’t say anything. He had no answers to his questions.

Eren looked away from him and at the files, his posture losing its tenseness. “But if they didn’t care- if they don’t care about their students, then why didn’t they just kill me back at the convention? It would have been a good opportunity.”

“Eren, don’t say something like tha-”

“Don’t you think that’s weird? Because I do. And I’m so sick of not knowing what is going on in my life. I just want this to be over, Levi,” Eren said with a look of defeat in his eyes. “I want to be happy again.”

The knife Levi had been holding landed on the desk with a clank as Levi engulfed Eren into a tight hug, unable to express his feeling with words. He heard Eren’s knife falling to the ground next to them before he felt arms around him, holding onto him firmly.

They stood like this for a while, Levi embracing him while he wished he could take away some of the burden Eren carried with him. A hug wouldn’t make anything better, but Levi wanted to let Eren know that he wasn’t alone, that Levi would try to make him happy.

“Levi-”

“No, don’t say anything,” he whispered and carded his fingers through Eren’s hair. “I’ve got you.”

And Levi felt the grip on him tighten, so much that it almost hurt. But he let it happen, knowing that Eren needed this as much as he needed it himself.

“It’s nearly over, Eren. Just a bit more. You have to hold on a little longer, okay?” he said to him in a low murmur. “And I’ll be there for you the entire time. I promise.”

Eren’s head was resting on his shoulder now and Levi closed his eyes, hearing Eren take in shaky breaths.

“I’ll always be there for you, I promise.”

It was a promise Levi knew he would never break. He could no longer imagine a life without him. Throughout the past year he had realised that running away from his problems would never work. And while he would never forget the damage his ex had done to him, he was now certain that it hadn’t been his fault. He didn’t need to change himself to make people like him, because Eren liked him the way he was.

Levi thought back to the times Eren had smiled at him, his green eyes filled with happiness, although he had never quite been able to hide the sadness deep inside of him.

But Levi would make it disappear. He would help Eren get through this and rid him of his sadness.

He’d make him happy again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone who leaves a comment. They truly mean a lot to me!


	27. Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mum?” he tried calling out, slowing down to a walk.
> 
> There was no reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never has it been this difficult to write a chapter before. Now that we're approaching the end I'm also nervous as hell about how I set up this plot and everything. But I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!

If he ever got out of here, Jean would tell Marco about his feelings for him.

Screw those useless attempts at wooing him with dinner or taking him out somewhere. Marco was too oblivious to get what Jean was trying to say to him so he’d have to straight up tell him. What was the worst that could happen? If he rejected him then fine. At least Jean would know how he felt.

“I wonder, how does it feel to be responsible for the deaths of multiple people? I’d be feeling pretty terrible myself, but you look like you don’t even care,” Jean said as he sat on the surprisingly comfortable chair, looking up at the tall, grey-haired man that stood in front of a window, his broad shoulders blocking out most of the sun that was shining into the room.

Two men had dragged him into this room on the first floor of the school, sat him down on this chair and then left. The large wooden desk and the intimidating size of the room left Jean with the conclusion that he was in the director’s office. The man was a figure of pure authority, but Jean had always had a bit of a problem with such people, especially when they were as soulless as this guy.

The university student had been sitting here for what felt like an hour and not once had the other man spoken up. Instead, he was standing in front of the window, waiting.

And Jean knew for whom.

“Still not talking? Sheesh, you really are the silent type. I’ve got a lot of questions though. Come on, can’t you at least answer them before you kill me?” Jean asked, once again faking confidence. The truth was that he was absolutely terrified. He didn’t want to die. His whole life was still ahead of him! And he still had to confess to Marco, go on a real date with him and just...be with him. He couldn’t bite the bullet now.

He sighed, the silence grating on his nerves that were already shot.

Two hours they had said. And one was most likely already over.

“You don’t actually believe that they’ll give you Eren, do you? How stupid would that be?” he asked the director who still had his back turned towards him. “They go through all the trouble of finally saving him from your shithole of a meeting, convention, whatever, and then they hand him over? Please.”

“Is he more important to them than you are, then?”

The man had finally spoken with a hint of amusement detectable in his voice. The question made Jean frown, not quite knowing what he was getting at.

“What?”

“Your friends. Would they sacrifice you to save the Jaeger boy? Does that mean you’re expandable to them?” the director replied and turned around, a small smile on his face. “Surely that would never be the case. You work at that bakery, don’t you? Have been for about three years now, first only in summer and now part-time when you don’t have university classes.”

Jean stared at the older man, his face slack with shock at the information the guy had on him. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, the action betraying the confidence he had shown at first.

“Hanji Zoe is part of the group that has the boy, isn’t she? She’s your boss. Do you think she would give you up for a boy she does not even know all that well? And what about Levi Ackerman? He works with you, too. Although, I guess he has taken a grotesque liking to the boy,” the man continued, now walking around his desk towards Jean, his kind face in stark contrast to his words.

“But I suppose you wouldn’t know Mikasa Jaeger, would you? She was adopted by Eren’s father after she came to our school. You see, her parents were good friends of mine. Very nice people indeed. They were in trouble, though. Mikasa’s father had lost his job and was struggling to keep the family afloat. I’m afraid he got into trouble with some very shady people. Poor man. They left Mikasa here at my school, trusting me with raising her into a good woman. I haven’t heard from them since.”

The director was now standing in front of Jean, looking down at him with a glint in his brown eyes that Jean did not like. Maybe getting him to talk hadn’t been such a great idea after all.

After the man had taken a look at his wristwatch he raised an eyebrow, the lines on his face deepening. “There’s an hour left,” he muttered before glancing at him again.

“Mikasa is very good friends with Eren, so I suppose she wouldn’t care too much about what happens to a complete stranger.”

“What are you getting at?” Jean cut him off, his eyes narrowing as he stared at the rambling man.

“To my knowledge there are three people with Eren Jaeger. Hanji Zoe, Levi Ackerman and Mikasa Jaeger. One of them does not know you, two do, but Mr. Ackerman is particularly close to the Jaeger boy. I’m afraid it’s not looking good for you indeed, Jean. Maybe they won’t bring the boy to me after all...”

What the- what was he trying to say? That they’d ditch him? Jean couldn’t believe that. They wouldn’t just leave him here to die. Hanji wasn’t like that and Levi…couldn’t be like that either. The man was only trying to rile him up. That was it.

“They wouldn’t simply leave me here,” Jean replied with a look of defiance. “So stop trying to tell me that.”

“Ah, but you said they wouldn’t bring me the boy, didn’t you? Which in turn means they won’t come,” the director reminded him with a smile. “That’s the obvious conclusion.”

The answer made Jean laugh while he shook his head. “It isn’t. They’ll find some other way so you can spare me this talk.”

The man leaned against the desk behind him. “And here I thought you wanted me to talk. The entire time you’ve been here you’ve been speaking absolute nonsense, insulting me and my school even though you don’t have any idea about anything. It’s quite sad.”

“Oh fuck off. I know damn well what’s going on!” Jean said, sitting up straighter now. “You ordered someone to kill Armin! You- you’ve been brainwashing all your students with your crazy talk and made them believe in some grade A bullshit. And now you’re getting desperate, aren’t you? You know this will be over soon. They’ll close your school and you’ll all be thrown into prison. I honestly can’t wait. Eren will tell everyone what happened and then it’s over for you!”

“Do you honestly believe the boy will-”

“Can you fucking stop calling him that? He’s not a damn child,” Jean interrupted, but knew that he must have said something wrong when the director’s face hardened.

“Is that not what he is? The boy is a mere child, stuck in a phase of defiance and selfishness. I granted him the opportunity to better himself, to atone for the sins he has committed. He’s nothing but a child, oblivious to what the world truly is,” the grey-haired man spoke, his voice gaining more power.

“Just looking at him fills me with disgust and his father is no different. He’s a useful tool, but he’s no longer profitable enough. Lately he’s been nothing but trouble.”

Jean’s mind was going a mile a minute as he tried to understand what this crazy guy was getting at. As soon as he had started talking about Eren he had lost his composure and Jean was desperately trying to piece together the bigger picture.

Why was he this obsessed with Eren? Why was he so important?

“You granted him the opportunity? What the fuck are you talking about?” Jean asked confused. “I seriously don’t get it. He was a student, wasn’t he? So why are you still going on about him? Why go through all this trouble?”

“The answer is simple,” the director said as he looked at Jean, his eyes dark and his expression as well. “Because he took the most important thing in the world from me. My son.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Did you hear that?”

Eren nodded, clutching his knife a bit tighter. Someone was upstairs.

They had finished putting all the files into an empty suitcase they’d found in the basement. Furthermore, they’d found monetary transactions, proving that Grisha had sent the school large sums of money. With this they had solid evidence that the people at the Shiganshina Cleansing Institute were guilty of multiple offences that would only become clearer once Mikasa and him made their testimonies at court.

And then this nightmare would finally be over.

Levi picked up the black suitcase, his expression unreadable, but Eren thought he could see a certain fire in his grey eyes.

If they couldn’t get out of the house it was over. Eren knew they would kill Levi on sight and anyone else that was connected to him. He couldn’t let that happen. Everyone was risking so much just to help him even thought he didn’t deserve it.

For years he’d let himself be brainwashed, had let others control his actions and even his thoughts. If he hadn’t met Levi he would have never tried to get out of this living nightmare. His entire life would have been spent working for a cult.

Quietly, the two began making their way up with Eren leading the way, his brown hair that was in desperate need of a haircut falling into his eyes. As they ascended the stairs, Eren could make out more than one voice. At least two people were in his house and...one of them sounded like his father.

They were talking, but it was hard to tell about what. Eren had reached the top of the stairs when all of a sudden he could hear scuffling, a strangled shout and something hit the floor with a dull thud.

Now alerted he walked towards the corner of the hallway with Levi closely behind him. The younger male glanced around the corner and his eyes widened at the sight. A blond man was lying face down on the ground near the kitchen with blood oozing from a wound on the back of his head. But that wasn’t what caught Eren’s attention. No, at the bottom of the stairs leading to the next floor his father was being strangled by someone from behind. He was struggling to get out of the other man’s grip, but Eren saw that he wouldn’t be able to overpower him.

Eren didn’t hesitate. With a sharp cry he ran round the corner, startling the buff man who was trying to strangle his father. The metal glinted as he lifted his arm and sank the sharp knife into the man’s back, slicing through his flesh. He heard the man wheeze as he let his father go, now trying to reach the knife that was stuck in the left side of his back. Shocked, he took a few steps back till he hit the wall which only caused the knife to further sink into his flesh, his face ghostly white, his eyes wide open. Slowly the brute sank to the ground, his back sliding down the wall until he hit the floor, unconscious.

His father was coughing, taking deep breaths to get air into his lungs again, his face red and his glasses on the ground.

But Eren wasn’t paying that much attention anymore. All of a sudden he felt odd and his hand was slightly shaking. When he had stabbed the man he...had had this strange feeling. He glanced at his hand, his bandage now slightly stained with blood, but it wasn’t his own.

For a moment he could’ve sworn he had done this before. Maybe he was going crazy. After everything that had happened it wouldn’t surprise him.

But why was he-

“Eren! Are you alright? Damn, don’t just recklessly run off!”

Suddenly Levi grabbed him by his shoulder, turning him around so he could look at him. His thin eyebrows were furrowed, showing how displeased he was by his actions. But his attention wasn’t on him for long, because the shorter man spotted his dad and his eyes narrowed even more.

“Why are you here? What’s going on?” he asked him coldly, his grey eyes hardening at the sight of Grisha. He glanced at the second unconscious man in the kitchen, blood seeping from a wound on his head.

“They were going to take you,” Eren’s father spoke, his voice cracking. “I couldn’t let that happen. I thought I could surprise and overwhelm them, but they must have decided that I was in their way.”

He knelt down beside the unconscious man, checking his pulse. Eren could hear him sigh and saw him rub the bridge of his nose. “He’s dead...”

When he stood up again he looked at his son with his slightly bloodshot eyes. “You need to get going, Eren. If we don’t hurry more will come and-”

“Why,” Eren said quietly, interrupting whatever his father was going to say to him. “Why did you do it?”

Asking him was pointless. Every possible answer wouldn’t satisfy him, but he had to know. How could his father fake those documents to help cover up those children’s suicides? Eren knew his father, or he had thought he knew. Never would he have thought he was capable of doing such a thing.

“He means the faked causes of death,” Levi stated when his dad didn’t reply fast enough for his liking.

Grisha glanced at the ground, at his glasses that had flown off his face when he had been attacked. “We don’t have time for this right now. You need to go.”

“So when do you plan on telling me then? Tomorrow? Next week? Or how about never, that would suit you just fine, wouldn’t it?” Eren replied, his face twisting as the frustration he experienced showed itself. “I’m sick of not knowing what is going on in my own life. What have you been doing, dad? How could you work for these awful people? I-I don’t understand.”

Levi put a hand on his shoulder again, as if sensing that Eren needed support. And Grisha was staring at him with an unreadable expression.

“How could you send me to this school? You knew that children were killing themselves!” His voice was rising and his hands were clenched into fists, the still healing cuts stinging him. “And yet you still sent me away.”

“I had no choice,” was the pitiful reply and Eren almost wanted to laugh at the generic answer. Typical. Why couldn’t anyone just tell him what was going on?!

Levi was squeezing his shoulder now as he glared at his father. “Stop spouting bullshit and tell your son what is going on. I’d like to know myself anyway.”

“I was not lying,” Grisha said, his expression grim. “I had no choice, but I wish I had. Eren, everything I did...I did for you. I couldn’t lose you, too.”

“Why would you have lost me? I-I don’t get it,” Eren replied truthfully, completely clueless as to what his dad was talking about.

“After your mother...after she died, after she was killed I couldn’t let them take you, too.”

What?

Eren stared at his father with wide green eyes, thinking that maybe he had misheard him. There was no way he had heard that correctly. His mother hadn’t been killed. It was impossible.

“W-what are you talking about?” Eren asked, completely taken aback by his words. “Mum wasn’t killed. She broke her neck when she-”

“No, Eren. No...she was murdered.” He bent down and picked up his glasses, avoiding eye contact with his son. “You were still a child when it happened and although you were there, after a while you...forgot. You suppressed the memory. And when you once asked me what happened to your mother I told you that she broke her neck,” his father replied with a hint of regret in his voice. “I couldn’t tell you how she died. It was...too difficult.”

Eren’s mind was reeling and he took a small step back, his heart pounding at the revelation. That couldn’t be right. “I saw her fall down,” he told him, knowing that this was the truth. He could remember walking out of the kitchen just as she fell.

“No. That wasn’t what you saw,” Grisha said. “You only think that you did. You can’t remember, can you? I wouldn’t want you to anyway. It was horrific.”

“What are you saying? I saw her!”

This wasn’t right. Why was his dad telling him this? Why was he lying? It didn’t make sense to him.

His dad hadn’t been home that night, instead at the clinic, finishing up some work. His mother and him had just eaten dinner when she went upstairs to get something. Eren couldn’t remember what, but that wasn’t important anyway. He recalled leaving the kitchen to show her something when he heard her cry and the sickening crunch when she hit the ground, her neck bent and-

No. He had to stop thinking about it or he was going to be sick.

“Eren,” he heard Levi mutter, sounding as stern as always, but Eren thought he could hear some underlying softness. “Did you see her?”

“I told you that I did!” he replied and shrugged his hand off him, taking a step away from him.

Why were they looking at him like this, like he was in the wrong? And Levi… Did he also think he didn’t know what he was talking about?

Eren was sure of it. He had seen her that night at the bottom of the stairs. And they had eaten dinner without his father. But the more he thought about it, the more he started questioning himself.

He couldn’t recall anything else really. Just eating dinner, hearing his mother cry out and seeing her on the ground. But it had been a traumatic event. It was ridiculous to think he’d remember every single little thing. He’d only been nine.

“When I came back home that night it wasn’t just the two of you,” his father said, his voice soft like he was talking to a child. Why was he telling him this? He didn’t want to hear it again. Eren didn’t want to hear what he had to say.

“There were two men there. One was in the room your mother used to knit in. He wasn’t alive.”

A man. No, there hadn’t been anyone else there. It had just been his mother and him. And how would he have died anyway? Did his mother kill him in self-defence?

“And I found you in the kitchen, Eren. I-I couldn’t believe what I was seeing,” Grisha continued, glancing at his son. “You were on top of the man, on top of his body. There was so much blood.”

Body, blood, a knife. His hands felt warm, like he had dipped them in water. No, not water. Water wasn’t this thick.

“Stop,”Eren whispered, suddenly feeling sick.

Levi took a step towards him and gently placed his hand on his arm. “You’re shaking. Is what he says true? Were there other people?”

Eren wanted to say no. There couldn’t have been other people there, but during his father’s talk he had seen something. A mental image of their kitchen, the floor stained red as Eren drove his fist into the man’s chest again and again. No, not his fist. A knife.

“Eren. Eren? Say something.”

Levi’s voice sounded far away and everything around him turned fuzzy.

A knife. He had had a knife, one just like before. His mother and him...they hadn’t been alone.

His father was right.

 

* * *

 

 

“ _I don’t want to make up with him!” Eren grumbled as he stuck his fork into another pea, glaring at his plate. He heard his mother let out another sigh at his stubborn behaviour._

“ _Don’t you want to stop fighting with Jean? Maybe you two can even be friends,” she encouraged him, making Eren look up at her, his green eyes taking in her smile, the kind of smile she always wore when she tried to talk him into something._

_After he had eaten the rest of his peas he pushed his plate away from him._

“ _No. I don’t want more friends.”_

“ _But why not?” Carla asked him confused._

“ _Because they’re all dumb. I’ve got Armin. I don’t need anyone else,” Eren told her firmly, wishing she’d stop talking about it. Why should he try to get along with others when they always made fun of Armin? He didn’t need more friends._

_He watched her stand up and take their plates to the sink, clearly not pleased with his answer._

_Making up with Jean was impossible, though. The other boy always ticked him off with his dumb comments and arrogant attitude. Eren didn’t need friends like that. Besides Armin he didn’t need anyone at all._

_His mother was washing the dishes when suddenly the doorbell rang, causing Eren to perk up._

“ _Is dad already home?” he asked with a now bright smile on his face, their discussion already forgotten. “I’ll open the door!” he said and got off the chair, but his mother put a hand on his shoulder._

“ _Your father said he wouldn’t be here for another hour. Don’t get too excited,” she replied, chuckling slightly._

_That made Eren pout, disappointed he wasn’t here. Why was he always working so late? Did he not want to be here?_

_His mother left the kitchen and Eren followed her, curious who it was. Maybe it was the nice lady from next door. Yesterday she’d brought over cookies after his dad had helped her get better. They still had some cookies, though._

_Eren peaked around the corner and saw his mother opening the door. Two men were there, both rather tall and Eren thought the shorter of the two looked quite funny with that silly moustache._

_His mother began talking to them. Eren couldn’t see her face, but as the conversation went on he got the feeling that something was wrong. The men were looking kind of scary now and his mum was taking a few steps back._

_And then things did go wrong._

_All of a sudden his mother turned around, her eyes wide as the taller man grabbed her. She was struggling in his grip and Eren was about to run towards her when he heard her scream that he needed to hide._

_Normally, Eren didn’t listen to his mum all that much, because usually she was annoying him or being mean, but her scream sounded so horrible and he got scared. He didn’t know what else to do and so he ran as quickly as his legs could take him._

_But where should he run to? What was even going on? His heart was pounding fast in his chest as he ran into the left hallway, taking the first door to his right, the room where his mother always knitted. There was a big closet there, the one he always used when his dad and him were playing hide and seek. Quickly, he climbed into it and shut the door, leaving him in darkness._

_Usually, he would be laughing right now, trying to hold his breath so his dad wouldn’t find him – he always did, though. But now...now he was struggling not to make a sound because he was terrified._

_The little boy could hear his mother shout something and he held his legs close to his chest. His eyes were squeezed shut, his heart was beating fast and Eren hoped his dad would show up. He always knew what to do._

_And then Eren, despite being so terribly afraid, thought about his mother and the men and knew he had to do something. Maybe the men were hurting her! He had to help!_

_Eren decided he couldn’t stay here, no matter how afraid he was. Jean’s words from their fight at school rang through his mind. He had to man up._

_But just as he opened the closet the door to the room also swung open and Eren with his big green eyes stared at the man with the moustache who had a scary look on his face._

_Everything after that happened very quickly._

_The scary man grabbed him by his arm, dragging him out of the closet forcefully, causing the knitting kit that had been in there along with Eren to fall to the ground, its contents spilling all over the floor. Eren screamed and tried to get out of the man’s grip, kicking his legs as hard as he could. The man’s hand was hurting him, squeezing his arm too tightly. When his foot connected with the man’s crotch he was suddenly dropped, landing on the ground with a smack._

_Eren knew he didn’t stand a chance against the man. He was so much taller and stronger than he was, but worst of all, he was blocking the exit. There was no way out. With panic rising within him Eren quickly grabbed the scissors that were lying on the ground just as the man grabbed him again._

“ _You little brat! Come he-”_

_But the man never finished his sentence._

_As he picked Eren up by his arm the boy sank the scissors into the man’s throat in a desperate attempt to get free. Eren heard the man wheeze and he was abruptly dropped. The scissors were still sunk into the flesh and the boy watched the man pull them out, but that only caused more blood to flow out of the wound._

_Eren had never seen so much blood before, not even when Armin had had a really bad nosebleed at school. It was just spilling out of the man as he stumbled backwards, his mouth open, but as he attempted to say something only more blood came out._

_Even though the sight was grotesque, Eren didn’t feel bad for the man. At the moment he was just glad he wasn’t hurting him anymore. It was his own fault for grabbing him, for barging into his house._

_The moustachioed man sank against the wall, blood still spilling out of the wound, but he was no longer moving. The floor underneath him was stained red as well as the wall. Eren wiped some blood off his cheek and quickly left the room in search of his mother. If he was okay then she should be, too. She was stronger than him, smarter too._

_As he hurried down the hallway he realised that it was silent now. His mother wasn’t shouting anymore. That meant she was hiding now, right? She’d got away. Even though those thoughts were running through his mind, Eren started feeling a bit sick._

“ _Mum?” he tried calling out, slowing down to a walk._

_There was no reply._

_Eren remembered the other man might still be in the house and he wished he had taken the scissors with him. He was even taller than the other one._

_The boy turned round the corner, the eerie silence not comforting at all. Where was his dad? Why couldn’t he be here already?_

_And then he saw his mother lying in front of the stairs. Eren smiled, glad he had found her. Quickly, he ran up to her, but...something was wrong. There were bruises around her throat and her neck it...it looked odd._

“ _Mum?”_

_Eren knelt down beside her, gently touching her shoulder, shaking her a bit. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly._

_But she wasn’t responding._

_Eren shook her harder, not understanding why she wasn’t waking up, why she looked so weird. His fingers left red spots on her white blouse as he continued trying to get her to open her eyes. No matter how hard he tried, she didn’t say anything and no words escaped her lips._

“ _Mama...”_

_It was then that Eren realised she wouldn’t wake up again. His mother was gone._

_But Eren didn’t cry. He still couldn’t quite believe it, couldn’t process what was going on. Maybe this was a bad dream. Ten minutes ago he had been arguing with her in the kitchen. Things couldn’t escalate so quickly._

_The boy had no idea what was even happening. Who were these people?_

_His body was slightly shaking as he knelt next to his mother, unable to come to terms with the reality of the situation he was in._

_He heard a noise coming from his left and he turned his head._

“ _Dad?” he asked hopefully, but it wasn’t his father. It was the other man._

“ _Sorry to disappoint you, your dad’s not here,” he said and came closer, making Eren scoot away._

“ _Look, I don’t really want to hurt a kid. So if you just come with me, we can sort this out with your daddy, okay?”_

_But Eren wouldn’t listen to this man. No, because he was the reason his mother wasn’t waking up. It was his fault that she was gone._

_Eren stood up and ran, his eyes stinging with unshed tears as anger boiled up inside him. The man followed him, but Eren wasn’t trying to run away. He took a turn to his right and ran into the kitchen, grabbed the first knife he saw and looked at the tall man._

“ _Wow, alright, how about you put that knife down,” he suggested and Eren could hear that he thought he wasn’t being serious. “That’s not something a little kid should be holding.”_

_He stepped closer, his hand extended so he could take the knife from Eren. But in a fit of anger the boy stabbed him in his leg, enjoying the pained gasp that followed. He had hurt his mum. He wouldn’t let him get away with that. Because of him she was-_

_The man had to kneel down for a moment, his eyes wide from surprise._

“ _What the- You’re fucking crazy!” he shouted and before he could stand up again Eren grabbed another knife, held it with both hands and sank it into his chest._

_With a scream the man fell backwards onto the kitchen tiles, trying to clutch at his chest. Eren sat down on top of him, his teeth clenched as he thought about his mother, about how she wasn’t coming back, about how this man was the cause of it._

_He pulled the knife out only to stab him again, tears now running down his cheeks as he kept doing it over and over again, even when the man had long stopped struggling. Blood was staining his shirt and the floor around him was turning red, but he didn’t care. His only thought was that this man, no, this animal had to pay for what he had done._

_Again and again he sank the knife into his chest, silently crying._

“ _Eren!”_

_It was like time stood still as he punished the man and after a while he couldn’t even tell how long he had been sitting there, crying while he stabbed the knife into the chest underneath him._

“ _Eren!”_

_His mother was gone. She wasn’t coming back. Because of this animal she was dead. He’d never hear her voice again, would never get into a fight at school and get punished by her. Eren promised to himself he’d make up with Jean. Tomorrow at school he’d apologise. He’d try to make more friends. Maybe his mum would come back then. If he was nice she’d come back. She had to. He loved her. And she loved him too, right? She wouldn’t leave. She couldn’t leave him._

_Eren loved her too much for that to happen._

 

* * *

 

 

“Eren!”

Levi shook Eren again, harder this time. The younger man’s eyes were glazed over and he was looking at nothing. He’d been like this for a few minutes now and although Levi didn’t like to admit it, it was scaring him.

They’d been talking about his mother and Eren had suddenly shut down, stopped talking and just stood there. No matter what he had said, he hadn’t moved at all. But then all of a sudden Eren’s body had begun slightly shaking and his green eyes had widened.

“He often did this,” Grisha suddenly spoke, surprisingly calm considering his own fucking son was not responding to anything.

“What are you talking about?” Levi snapped without looking at him, instead trying to figure out what he could do so Eren would come back from wherever he was.

“Right after the incident, every time he looked at a picture of his mother it would all come back to him,” Grisha explained and stepped closer towards his son, the lines on his face growing deeper. “I got rid of them. Eren used to relive the events of that night. He hasn’t had an episode in years, but with everything that has happened lately… It’s no surprise it came back.”

Relieving memories like you were there again. Levi had heard about this and thought back to when Eren had had a panic attack back at the hotel. However, this felt different. Back then Eren had at least responded to him, but now there was nothing.

It kind of pissed him off how calmly Grisha was talking, how it almost sounded like he didn’t care, but maybe Levi was getting the wrong impression. If he truly didn’t care then he wouldn’t have come back and he wouldn’t have attacked those men.

“Come on, Eren. We need to go,” Levi muttered softly and stroked Eren’s cheek with his thumb. “Please.”

But he didn’t react.

“How long do these episodes last?” he asked Grisha, his hands still on Eren’s shoulders.

“Sometimes they last seconds, but...often longer,” was the reply, one Levi had been afraid of. “We can’t wait. No, you can’t wait. You should go.”

For the first time Levi properly looked at Eren’s father, surprised by his words. “Just us? What about you?”

“They don’t know you’re here, do they? More people will arrive when they don’t get an update from their men. So go. Just...drive away from here. Get to safety,” Grisha replied in a sombre tone, looking at his son. “Keep him safe. I’m sorry for all I’ve done. I only wanted to protect him, but…I achieved the complete opposite.”

“How did you get into this mess?” Levi asked, his voice steady even though he didn’t feel that way at all. “Why get involved with these people?” It was one of the only things that he couldn’t explain himself.

“I thought I could be forgiven for what I’d done,” Eren’s father said quietly. “I was stupid back then, although, I guess I still am. I...had an affair. To this day it haunts me. But...I thought if I prayed enough God would forgive me. At the church I met the director of the school. He gave me hope that I could better myself. I was completely oblivious to what was going on around me.”

He paused, still looking at his son who was not responding to anything. “Carla knew, though. She tried to warn me about them, but I wouldn’t listen. I was obsessed with being forgiven for what I’d done that I couldn’t even see how horrible it was what they made me do. They got wind of her, that she was trying to get me out of their grasp and...she died.”

“And then they used Eren against you,” Levi stated, knowing where this was going.

By having Eren in a hostage position Grisha would do whatever they wanted. Without him they wouldn’t be able to cover up the suicides, but judging from their latest attack they must have found a way around that.

Suddenly his wrist was grasped tightly and Levi saw heard Eren let out a gasp, his eyes wide with panic. His nails were digging into Levi’s skin and although he was now looking at the older man and not at nothing anymore, it still appeared that he wasn’t all there.

“Eren!” Levi said firmly and tugged his hand away, making Eren lose his grip on him. “Eren, for fuck’s sake! Say something!”

It was then that Grisha’s son lost the dazed look in his eyes and took a step backwards, seemingly disorientated. His gaze shifted from Levi to his father, his mouth opening slightly, but nothing came out. Only a few seconds later did he speak up.

“I-I remember,” he breathed out, his voice shaky. Levi frowned and bit the inside of his cheek. Judging from his expression whatever he had recalled couldn’t be good.

Grisha was silently staring at his son, his expression one of regret.

“They came and…killed her. Why did you never tell me? Why did you never tell me mum was killed?!” Eren said with a rising voice, his hands clenched into fists.

“How could I ever tell you? You were a child, Eren,” Grisha replied calmly. “I had to protect you. I couldn’t put you through the knowledge that you were there when she was murdered. That you killed those men.”

Eren shook his head, the short laugh that escaped him sounding so unlike himself. Levi’s expression hardened when he heard that the younger man had killed his mother’s attackers. He had been nine years old, hadn’t he?

“They deserved it,” Eren replied, his voice low and expression dark. “These animals killed my mum. If you would’ve told me I-”

“You would’ve taken revenge,” Grisha finished his sentence as if knowing exactly what his son was thinking. And maybe he did. Levi, for his part, had never seen Eren behave like this before. His eyes were burning with anger, one Levi could understand, but… That only made him understand why his father hadn’t told him.

“You would have done exactly what they wanted, act recklessly and without thinking. You wouldn’t have been able to stop them, to destroy their organisation.”

“Dad-”

“But now you do. You don’t lack the power anymore,” Grisha continued and the corners of his lips twitched upwards. “You’ve got everything you need, don’t you? So end this, avenge your mother and fix the mistakes your father made.”

Levi glanced at the suitcase he had dropped before, briefly wondering how Hanji and the others were holding up. Hopefully they had managed to get Jean out of there by now.

“Why are you saying it like that?” Eren asked his father, his anger vanishing. “You’re coming with us, aren’t you?”

Grisha let out a sigh, his features softening as he looked at his son. “No. More people will come to check up on these men. No one knows you two are here except for me, so if we all leave they’ll think you killed them. But...if I stay they’ll think I did it.”

Oh no. Levi knew exactly how this was going to end.

“So what, you want to make Eren lose his other parent, too?” he said coldly, his eyes hooded. “Don’t be stupid.”

“They’ll think you left the town and just ran away. You cut the tracker out. They won’t have a chance of finding you so they’ll give up. But if I leave as well they’ll know you’re still here somewhere. I can’t let them get you, Eren.”

“Don’t do this,” Eren told him, his voice quiet and too soft. Levi could feel his heart begin to ache at the thought of him losing another person he loved. It wasn’t fair.

But Grisha wouldn’t budge, Levi knew this and he guessed Eren knew it, too.

“I’ve done so many terrible things to you, Eren. I can’t forgive myself for it and I don’t expect you to forgive me. But please, listen to me one last time and leave. Get away from here.”

Levi glanced at Eren and to his surprise the younger man looked quite composed. Of course it was an act, but maybe he was aware that he couldn’t have another breakdown now. They were so close to ending this all.

To be honest, Levi didn’t care about what would happen to Eren’s father. In his eyes he was a bastard, a selfish man who had put his son into a horrifying situation because of his own mistakes. Levi wouldn’t shed a tear if he died.

However, he did care about Eren and he knew if his father died he would maybe be inconsolable.

Fuck. Why couldn’t anything be easy for once?

“Let’s go,” Levi said to Eren and took the suitcase, looking at Grisha with no emotion in his eyes. “You’re a bastard till the end, huh? Fine. Suit yourself. Feel good about yourself one last time.”

When Eren didn’t move Levi grabbed his wrist, mindful of his cuts.

“Eren.”

Finally he looked away from his father and weakly nodded. The two of them walked to the front door with Levi still holding onto Eren. Before they passed through the doorway Eren glanced back at his father one more time and slowed down, making Levi look at him in irritation, but then he saw the expression on Eren’s face.

“Dad… I love you.”

His voice was soft and filled with love, love that was hard to come by. Levi didn’t understand how Eren could still love the man. He truly didn’t get it. It was irritating and he was starting to wonder if it truly was love or if it was just fucked up. Maybe he didn’t really love him and only thought he did, that he had to.

Or maybe Levi just really didn’t understand.

Grisha smiled at his son and in that moment Levi knew they wouldn’t see him again. This was it.

“I’m sorry,” he said, like a coward and Levi tugged on Eren’s wrist, not wanting to listen to the man anymore. And Eren didn’t try to get out of his grasp, simply following him. Levi was sure his eyes were still on his father as they left the house, leaving him to his fate.

Levi didn’t care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I'll see you guys again soon! Please let me know what you think :D I love reading your thoughts!


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